End of Days: Spike: "I seem to be noticeably absent for 75% of this episode. Since I'm not at the house Buffy left me at, being that Willow and Xander looked for her there, I must be napping in the sewers. Or possibly doing something important that will further the storyline. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm just here to get my chain yanked by Buffy...Oh, Buffy, you're home, and you have a right big ax. Yes, an ax is much better than I am. I can see why you left me." Buffy: "Oh, uh, yeah well...I'm wicked strong with this ax! It kind of makes me feel like when I wielded that troll hammer against Glory. You remember, the one you can't even pick up? Funny how in fights we're almost evenly matched, but you couldn't pick up a silly hammer. Of course this ax is better than you are! It's shiny..I miss Principal Wood. Maybe I'll go get all weirdly jealous when Faith tells me she boned Wood. Not because I like him, but because DAMN that girl would have sex with anything. Even a life-sized plastic action figure like Robin!" Spike: "Uh huh. Well, about last night, with the closeness and me pouring out my heart like I never have before...it was nothing. I know it was nothing, because when I woke up you were gone. And all last year, I you always left my bed before morning, and that meant nothing to you too. But I didn't even get sex this time...Anyway, it won't happen again, because frankly I'm having a hard time gluing the pieces of my heart back together." Buffy: "Oh, ok. No, not ok. You're so stupid. How can you not see by my ambiguous expression and emotionless eyes that last night meant *some*thing to me. Not sure what, but I'm sure it was something. And I'm tired of mixed signals! I'm the only one allowed to give mixed signals, got it? How did you feel about last night?" Spike: "Terrified. I've never been that close to anyone in my life. It was the best night of my life, even counting all the unnatural sex acts we did last year. Which, by the way, I wouldn't mind doing again, seeing as the world might end and I haven't had sex in a long time. And then maybe we could cuddle afterward? Because truly, that meant more to me than anything else we've ever done together. I mean, it was so nice, especially the part where you weren't bitching and moaning or battering me unrecognizable. You were just quiet. Sleeping. And quiet. What did it mean to you?" Buffy: "Uh, does it have to *mean* something? Even though I just told you it meant a lot to me, giving me courage, etc, does it still have to mean something *else*? I mean, god, you're like a woman. We spent the night together, get over it! But, um, maybe someday...here are some of those mixed signals I'm so tired of..." Spike: "No, forget it. You're right, I'm a woman. I'm gonna go check out the vineyard again, where Caleb resides and the First is pretty much hunkered down." Buffy: "Good idea, but make sure you follow me later so you can make sure I'm safe. OH, and to watch me kiss Angel." Spike: "Ok, I'll be there." Buffy: "Oh Angelinsert gratuitous smooching" Spike: "Damn, if I hadn't lurked here in the shadows, maybe I could have stopped them from kissing. Why, oh why, is it my lot in life to lurk???" The First: "HA!"