Chosen: Close up of Angel and Buffy smooching. Spike glaring while the
First taunts him as, of course, Buffy herself. Which lends credence to the
oft overlooked theory that Buffy *is* the root of all evil. Or is it the
love of Buffy..? Anyway..Buffy: "Gee Angel, thanks for the nifty amulet.
I'd let you wear it, but as it is probably very dangerous, I want Spike to
wear it. Not because he's more of a champion than you, but because he's
dispensable. I want you to go be safe in LA, for when maybe someday in a
few years I have decided I want you to eat me because I am cookies, but
I'll get to that later." Angel: "Ok, I'll go be safe and wait to eat you.
But you love Spike! I can smell him on you, and while the scent is not
unpleasant, it is disconcerting. I left you heartbroken so you could find a
normal guy." Buffy: "Like Riley, whose ass you thoroughly kicked?" Angel:
"Oh, guess not. No, I really just want you to wait for me until I shansu or
whatever the hell and become human. Then we can try to knock down a
building too. Except being a human, I will probably suffer much blood loss
and our next sexual encounter may end sadder than our first!" Buffy: "Oh
please, only Spike is that good. Besides, he's got a soul now." Angel: "No
fair, I had a soul first!" Buffy: "Yeah well, don't be a baby about it. I
mean, you were *cursed* with yours, not like you made a conscious choice
like *some* vamps I know. Sure, it's all cool now that you *have* a soul,
but I think if you didn't have one, you'd feel differently. But let's not
test that theory." Angel: "Fine. So you serious about Spike?" Buffy: "Maybe
I am, maybe I'm not. You'll never know. Neither will Spike. Come to think
of it, neither will I. I prefer to be enigma girl. I have honed my vague
expression just for Spike. But no, I don't foresee a future with Spike. Or
any man, because I have not surpassed the emotional age I was at when I met
you. Nor do I plan to for several years, apparently. But maybe *then* you
and I can give it a shot. I mean, you'll probably still be cursed and I
won't *really* have matured any, but I'll probably be ready to be eaten by
then. Cuz I'll be cookies. Very low-fat, tasteless, boney cookies." Angel:
"Uh, ok. See ya later, ya big freak. I'm just gonna dissolve into the
shadows, but I'll be waiting for you. And it's a good thing I'm a vampire
who will live longer than a normal man, cuz I have a feeling I'll be
waiting for a long while. Or until my show ends, either way." Buffy: "Ok,
don't forget! Don't go eating any other cookies, cuz I'll be all baked in a
few years...maybe...possibly...and I might want you to eat me. Or at least
sample me...but who knows..."
Spike: "Hey, where's tall, dark and forehead?" Buffy: "Oh Spike, you're so silly. Why do you look so violently jealous? Not like I gave you any indication I had feelings for you. Hello? Have you *been* around this season?" Spike: "Oh, right. Forgot. But I mean, we were snuggling and whatnot. Then you're kissing Angel. I can smell him on you, and while it's not unpleasant, it is upsetting because I had gotten it in my head you had some kind of regard for me and my feelings. Silly me!" Buffy: "Damn right, silly you! I just want to see you and Angel doing some oily wrestling over me. Then maybe I'll jump in and we can see what we can do about those pesky souls of yours. Because Angel is too sedate for me. And you...well, frankly, we haven't had any rocking sex since you got a soul and I don't honestly know what I keep you around for. Oh yeah, snuggling. Snuggling is nice, especially when it's following some nice kissage with my first love. Oh, by the way, you're my champion and you get to wear this ugly-ass medallion that I didn't feel was safe enough for Angel." Spike: "Okey dokey." Buffy: "Well, since I don't have a bedroom anymore.." Spike: "Hey! You're not staying here. I have my pride, despite what I have done this entire season. I'm not just going to take this crap treatment that you've dished out for the past 3 years." Buffy: "I understand. I also understand if I give you a pouty look, you'll cave like the hellmouth is about to do!" Spike: "Dammit, you're right. I have no pride. What a silly notion that is. Haven't had any pride since I fell in love with you, which you have been nice enough to take advantage of at every turn. You can stay and snuggle with me. Snuggling...is good. But you're gonna brush your teeth first, because you still have Angel breath."
Spike: "Buffy! The amulet is activating, and I'm kind of wishing you had given it to Angel, as it is presenting quite a bit of sunlight and pain. And I think I feel my soul. Stings...and smells a lot like burnt Turok- han." Buffy: (admittedly looking loving and touched, grabs his hand and flames consume, very sweet and tear inducing) Spike: (looking equally loving upon Buffy and seems like he realizes there is *some*thing there) Buffy: (Good god, FINALLY) "I love you" Spike: "No you don't. But thanks for saying it." Buffy: "Hmm, I could spend just a second or two before you incinerate to say it again and be convincing, despite my actions all season. But instead I think I'll turn tail and run. Hope you're not in too much pain! Ta-Ta!" Spike: "Well, I guess that just confirms it! Cassie said she'd say it, never said she'd mean it! Think I'll enjoy the last laugh here and finally rest in peace. Take my love and bury it in a whole a mile deep. I'm gonna lay my body down and *finally* get my sweet release-perhaps an afterlife where I'm not love's bitch anymore. Damn, I loved that girl, but I finally have a purpose beyond her. 'I want to save the world.' And I'm gonna bloody do it, too."
**
Ok, that being said, I loved the finale. Disappointed for Spuffy, but sorta happy for Spike. Joss gave us 7 great years that I'll treasure forever and hopefully do justice to with my other fanfic. I hope you guys enjoyed my little humorous take on season 7 Spuffy. To be completely honest, I don't dislike Buffy as much as my parody may suggest, but in regards to Spike, I am very disappointed with how things went. Buffy as a character is much more rich than I depicted her, so I hope everyone knows I still enjoyed the hell out of it all. Thanks for reading!
Spike: "Hey, where's tall, dark and forehead?" Buffy: "Oh Spike, you're so silly. Why do you look so violently jealous? Not like I gave you any indication I had feelings for you. Hello? Have you *been* around this season?" Spike: "Oh, right. Forgot. But I mean, we were snuggling and whatnot. Then you're kissing Angel. I can smell him on you, and while it's not unpleasant, it is upsetting because I had gotten it in my head you had some kind of regard for me and my feelings. Silly me!" Buffy: "Damn right, silly you! I just want to see you and Angel doing some oily wrestling over me. Then maybe I'll jump in and we can see what we can do about those pesky souls of yours. Because Angel is too sedate for me. And you...well, frankly, we haven't had any rocking sex since you got a soul and I don't honestly know what I keep you around for. Oh yeah, snuggling. Snuggling is nice, especially when it's following some nice kissage with my first love. Oh, by the way, you're my champion and you get to wear this ugly-ass medallion that I didn't feel was safe enough for Angel." Spike: "Okey dokey." Buffy: "Well, since I don't have a bedroom anymore.." Spike: "Hey! You're not staying here. I have my pride, despite what I have done this entire season. I'm not just going to take this crap treatment that you've dished out for the past 3 years." Buffy: "I understand. I also understand if I give you a pouty look, you'll cave like the hellmouth is about to do!" Spike: "Dammit, you're right. I have no pride. What a silly notion that is. Haven't had any pride since I fell in love with you, which you have been nice enough to take advantage of at every turn. You can stay and snuggle with me. Snuggling...is good. But you're gonna brush your teeth first, because you still have Angel breath."
Spike: "Buffy! The amulet is activating, and I'm kind of wishing you had given it to Angel, as it is presenting quite a bit of sunlight and pain. And I think I feel my soul. Stings...and smells a lot like burnt Turok- han." Buffy: (admittedly looking loving and touched, grabs his hand and flames consume, very sweet and tear inducing) Spike: (looking equally loving upon Buffy and seems like he realizes there is *some*thing there) Buffy: (Good god, FINALLY) "I love you" Spike: "No you don't. But thanks for saying it." Buffy: "Hmm, I could spend just a second or two before you incinerate to say it again and be convincing, despite my actions all season. But instead I think I'll turn tail and run. Hope you're not in too much pain! Ta-Ta!" Spike: "Well, I guess that just confirms it! Cassie said she'd say it, never said she'd mean it! Think I'll enjoy the last laugh here and finally rest in peace. Take my love and bury it in a whole a mile deep. I'm gonna lay my body down and *finally* get my sweet release-perhaps an afterlife where I'm not love's bitch anymore. Damn, I loved that girl, but I finally have a purpose beyond her. 'I want to save the world.' And I'm gonna bloody do it, too."
**
Ok, that being said, I loved the finale. Disappointed for Spuffy, but sorta happy for Spike. Joss gave us 7 great years that I'll treasure forever and hopefully do justice to with my other fanfic. I hope you guys enjoyed my little humorous take on season 7 Spuffy. To be completely honest, I don't dislike Buffy as much as my parody may suggest, but in regards to Spike, I am very disappointed with how things went. Buffy as a character is much more rich than I depicted her, so I hope everyone knows I still enjoyed the hell out of it all. Thanks for reading!