Afterwards

Author: xfan
E-mail: xfan_2003@yahoo.com
Pairing(s): Ororo/Logan friendship
Rating: R for some language.
Setting: Sometime in between the last couple of scenes of or post X2.
Spoilers: X2 major spoilers.
Summary: What happens in the aftermath of the attacks? Logan and Ororo have a late night conversation. Logan/Ororo friendship.
Warning(s): None

Author's Notes: The green gemstone mentioned is peridot, which is the birthstone for August. I think I read somewhere that is supposed to be Ororo's birth month.

Disclaimer: The X-Men Movieverse and its characters are the properties of Marvel Comics, and 20th Century Fox Studios. No infringement is intended by this fanfiction.

Xavier Institute, Westchester, NY 1:40 am.

Sick of tossing and turning yet again, Logan got up from his bed with a sigh and decided to give up any pretense of sleep for the night. Getting no sleep was far preferable to the nightmares that always came, anyway. Nightmares that were now a thousand times worse thanks to William Stryker. Now in addition to the horrific memories of the adamantium bonding process, there were the memories of some extremely scared young children looking to him for protection; a harried flight with Marie, Bobby Drake, and John Allerdyce from a ruined mansion that was _supposed_ to be a place of safety for said children; and especially, Jean Grey's death at Alkali Lake base in order to save the rest of them, and Scott Summers, Jean's lover and Logan's rival, sobbing in his arms.

He didn't really want to think about fucking _ any_ of it. He wanted to just pretend none of it had ever happened. Logan was an old hand at dealing with pain, but this was so raw and so deep it was nearly unbearable. Everything about this had hit him right where he lived.

Padding to a window to let in some fresh air, he realized it was *still* lightly snowing. It hadn't really stopped since their return from the lake two and a half days ago. That made him immediately think of Storm, and he wondered if she was really doing as well as she wanted everyone to think she was. If the continuing weather was any indication, she wasn't. They'd seen each other only in passing, both being too busy with clean-up operations in different parts of the compound to talk much. Not that there would be a whole lot to say anyway. Everyone was still locked up in their private grief at this point, except for Nightcrawler, who hadn't known Jean but for part of a day. He was saddened and stunned by the loss, but, of course, not nearly as much as those who'd been around Jean day in and day out. Breakfast yesterday morning had been the most quiet Logan had seen it around the mansion. There was a general pall over everything. The whole group was subdued and seemed little uncertain about what to even say or do regarding one another. Scott had basically locked himself in his room after coming back, emerging only for a very brief talk with professor Xavier. Both Logan and Storm had tried rather unsuccessfully to get Scott to eat something. The food was left untouched except for a few bites of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich earlier in the evening that had been choked down simply to get Logan to leave him alone.

In the space of 72 hours, a peaceful school had been turned into something resembling a war zone.

Shell shock. Complete shell shock. The kind that can destroy a person inside if they let it, he thought with a shake of his head. He wondered if there would ever truly be another way for mutants to live. Would there always be fear, chaos, and death? Was Xavier's dream of co-existence, now irrevocably tainted by the Cerebro attacks, just an illusion?

Logan heard the soft creak of wooden floorboards that meant someone was in the hall. Using his acute sense of smell, he identified the person as Storm. She and some of the students who had been rooming at various areas on the first floor were forced to move up to the second floor until the damage done to the other floor could be thoroughly assessed. The whole mansion and surrounding compound was pretty much in shambles, but the main floor level had seen the worst of it. Light from the bathroom that was diagonally across from him filtered through under the door and the sound of water running could be heard. Finally getting ready for bed, most likely. Feeling a pleasant, at least to him, chill in the air now, he shut the window, and threw on a tank top and a pair of jeans over his boxers. Checking in with Storm seemed like a good idea. He'd give her a few minutes and then see if he could catch her. The water turned off, then after a minute there was the distinctive clank-smash of broken glass that startled Logan. Outside, the wind began to howl fiercely and the snowfall seemed to instantly grow more heavy at almost the same moment, setting him on edge.

Snikt! He jumped up, claws out, battle ready. Fuck! No, No, No.... he thought as he went into out the hall. The bathroom door was open, and he saw Artie, a dark - haired boy of about seven or eight who had the room adjacent to the bathroom, peeking his head out. Storm, wearing a black cotton sweatsuit for sleeping, was crouched over by the side of the marble vanity trying to pick up small fragments of a broken drinking glass and toss them in the wastebasket. Logan quickly assessed there was no threat present, and retracted his claws as he walked over.

A couple more students groggily looked out into the hall to assure themselves there wasn't another surprise attack, then quickly went back to their beds.

"Miss Munroe?" Artie questioned.

"Just an accident. Please go back to sleep." she answered.

He walked to the linen closet down at the other end of the hall and retrieved a small hand held broom and a dustpan from one of the shelves. "Here. This will make it easier to get everything"

Ororo took the broom and dustpan from the boy. "Thank you. I had completely forgotten those were kept there. Good night, Artie."

"'Night, Miss Munroe. Mr. Logan " he said as he went back to his room. Logan responded with a slight grunt.

"Kid must be a light sleeper." Logan commented as Ororo finished sweeping up the glass pieces.

"I think we're all quite understandably jumpy after the events of the past two days." she said, pouring the contents of the dust pan into the trash can, then putting the mini broom and dustpan under the sink for now. He noticed that her hands were shaking just a little.

"What about _you_?" he asked as she straightened up to look at him . "How are you doing?"

"I don't think I've really had time to completely process everything yet. It all has happened so fast." she told him truthfully, keeping her voice very low so as not to disturb anyone. So far it seemed no one else had woken up.

He nodded. Yeah, it had.

"My biggest concern right now is Scott. He is really, really hurting, and I don't know if there's anything I can do."

Logan shrugged. Cyclops would just have to deal with it - or not deal with it - in his own time. "Just be there when he's ready. He's too old for a babysitter." He regarded her thoughtfully for a second. "Wasn't simply an accident, was it?"

"Hmm?"

"Come on, Ororo," he said, surprising her by using her real name. "The howling wind, the sudden increase in snowfall - it doesn't take a genius. Means you're seriously upset. You just lost a friend - and it's completely okay to be upset about it."

"I think it's time I should try to get some sleep," she said without meeting his eyes. The meaning was clear - discussion. over. as far as she was concerned.

"Storm," he pressed. He caught her wrist as she tried to get past him. "Look, the professor ain't saying jack about anything except taking care of the students; Scott is just refusing to talk to anyone, which would normally be a really good thing if you ask me, but...Please, don't you shut me out here, too."

Her brown eyes seemed to shimmer with something potent as she looked back at him. "What the hell do you want me to say, Logan? _Yes_, of course I am upset and angry. I'm angry with Jean for leaving us. I'm angry with what Stryker did, I'm angry with Magneto, and I'm angry with myself. You want to know what happened earlier? I couldn't get to sleep, and I went to go get a drink of water. And then I looked up in the mirror, and I kept asking myself why? - 'why did she stay outside?' 'why wouldn't she let us help her?' and especially 'why wasn't it me out there?' It - It should have been me, _not_ Jean."

"Don't _ever_ talk like that," he half growled. Losing Jean was bad enough. He had just found these people and he wasn't sure he could take losing anyone else. Loss seemed to be the only constant in his life, and he thought one of these days it just might be the thing that drove him completely insane.

"I'd have gladly traded places. She's... She's my best friend." Ororo fingered the gold chain with a pendant hanging that was around her neck. Looking closely, Logan saw that it was a vaguely African style representation of a goddess with a bright green gemstone at the top. "See this? She gave me this necklace as a birthday present during my second year here. She told me to never, ever be ashamed of who I was or of having powers. I never wore it very much because I was afraid of it getting lost or damaged. But now..." she trailed off and looked away, her eyes starting to fill with tears. "She would want everyone to be strong for her, to carry on, but I just don't know if we can. And as if that isn't enough for us to deal with, there's also what happened with the professor. Used like some... _toy_. I can't begin to imagine what he must be going through right now. _God_, Logan, all those people and fellow mutants hurt or killed simply because of some madmen." Logan's jaw clenched and the skin beneath his claws itched to even start thinking of it. That son of a bitch Stryker was dead, but Magneto was still out there and he swore he'd be the one to stop him permanently. _Nothing_ could justify what he had done to Xavier. Ororo had closed her eyes, and when she opened them hot, bitter tears were falling. She let herself be drawn into Logan's arms. Truth was he didn't feel very strong right now, either, but he could let Storm lean on him and borrow some of whatever strength he did have left. His hand made soothing circles on her back as he held her. "It's alright. I've got ya. I've got ya." he said quietly.

They stayed like that for a few moments, until Ororo pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I'm..."

"Say you're sorry about that and I'll have to kill you."

She gave an almost laugh and wiped her eyes again, a little flustered and embarrassed.. "That's enough about me," she said with a wave of her hand. "What about you? Jean meant a great deal to you, too. Will you be okay?"

Jean had made her choices that day and he would just have to accept that. She had known exactly what she was doing when she left the jet.. "Not right now...but I will be in time. Nah, don't worry about me."

"I do, you know," she said gently.

He smirked a little. "That's because you worry about everyone. You should really try and get some sleep now. Still plenty to do around here."

"I will try if you will."

"You've got yourself a deal," he agreed.

Ororo turned toward her own room. "Good night, Logan. And thank you."

"'Night."

He really doubted that he would manage it, but he could at least try again.

///END///