A/N hi folks, im back. I was away for a bit cos I had my G.C.S.E art exam
all week. But now its Friday night, im slightlly pissed, and almost ready
to write chapter 4.
Just a few more notes to give out. Thanks to all my reviewers, you make my writing all worth while. Special thanx to Redrum, im asuming you are a girl, so all her support and help and positive mental attitude (hear on known as PMA) has helped me keep sight of where this fic is going and has driven me to want to write more, thanx sooooooo much.
Also thanx to everyone else, there are too many to remember, pluss im drunk so, ya know. But thanx for all your encouragment and for not bringing me down in flames.
Can I remind everyone that this is a sensative subject, and requires a mature frame of mind (hear on know as MFOM- mainly cos if I had missed out the F it would have said MOMlol) so anywho if this material offends thine eyes, hit the back button with all the might of your tiny little forefinger. However if you are of the age on consent, or feel that you are of mature mind, and of a sound, fit body (not really for the storie's benafit, I just like fit bodies-lol) then you are free to read on.
DISCLAIMER-The song in this chapter is by Justin Timberlake and is called 'Never Again', PLUS as always the characters are not mine but belong to Squaresoft, I am mearly the Puppet Master* tm*, and I'll put them back good as new when im done. Only the story and all plot bunnies here after are mine
So, without much further ado and much aflappin', I'll get on with the story.
CHAPTER 4
Squall could feel someone carrying him. The feeling was strange to him. He had never been carried before. But he felt as though he was floating.
Maybe he was floating?
But he felt hands on him. Not the kind he was used to though.
Warm hands, gentle. They were telling him it was alright. That it was arlight to feel alone, to feel scared and afraid, to feel trapped and vunrable.
They were telling him that it was okay to want something else. To need it.
He felt those careful hands on his face. Brushing the strands of hair out of his eyes.
He was lying down now. He lay on a bed. Or was someone just holding him?
Was that why he felt so warm?
'Would have given all my life, for you.
Guess it's true what they say about love, it's blind.
Oh you lied straight to my face,
Lookin' into my eyes.
And I believed you 'cos I loved you more than life.
And all you had to do, was appologise.'
Squall could feel the darkness swallowing him again. But he didn't want to leave those hands.
He tried to voice his objection, but he couldn't hear himself over the shouts in his head, and then the heavy darkness that was clogging his mind.
'Don't go, please stay?' he begged, he tried so hard to get those hands to hear him, to tell them to hold him again. But it was the darkness' fault. It was getting in the way.
Like it always did. When ever he saw the light, or thought he had found the answer, a darkness would always come and take it from him. He knew it, he knew that such happy things weren't ment for him. That only the bleak darkness was good enough for him.
Was it because it loved him?
Or was it because HE loved IT?
Was it because he craved it's solitude and strenght?
No, it couldn't be, could it? He wanted the light so much, he wanted the happiness so much. Then why could he never reach it. Was he too weak? Too helpless? Too blinded?
Blinded maybe, by love, or passion, maybe both. Although Squall knew most of the passion was in the darkness, the black lusted after him.
Did he love it enough to stay?
'You didn't say you're sorry.
I don't understand.
You don't care that you hurt me.
And now I'm half the man, that I used to be,
When it was you and me.
You didn't love me enough,
My heart may never mend,
And you'll never get to love me again.'
Irvine looked at Squall. He was so pale. His wet hair clung to his damp face and he gentley pushed it back, running his trembling fingers down the boys ivory cheeks.
A tear slipped free, and landed on Irvine's hand. He looked at it with remotness, as if he had never seen a tear before, least of all one of his own.
Was there another way out of this?
Another way to make him see?
Why couldn't he just..just..Irvine didn't know what. He couldn't think straight.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be, he knew it. He knew it, just as he knew the sun would rise. Squall was supposed to realise before it got this far. He was supposed to break free, supposed to start again, he was supposed to smile again.
He was supposed to go to Irvine.
He belonged with Irvine.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
'Sadness has me at the end of the line.
Helpless watched you break this heart, of mine.
Lonelyness only wants you back here with me.
But common sense knows that you're not good enough for me.
And all you had to do,
Was appologise, and mean it'
Irvine held Squall closer to him as they sat on the disgarded mattress. More tears fell from the cowboy's eyes as he cradled the 'sleeping' boy in his shaking arms. Gentley he rocked him back and forth, humming a song close to his ears.
He noticed how Squall's grey jumper was soaking, from both the water and the blood, and he suddenly remebered the wrist.
He grabbed for it and found the open wound, the 3 inch vertical gash going up his arm still seeping blood.
Diving for the nearest bit of cloth he found he picked up a small hand towel and wrapped it around the boy's wrist. As he brought his hand away, Irvine noticed more blood on his hand where he had been supporting Squall's head. And Irvine's thoughts suddenly flipped to the image of the baseball bat propped up against the door frame.
He stomach turned but he couldn't waste any more time being sick.
He carefuly lay the boy down.
"I'll be back in a minute" he promised as he held Squall's face cupped in his hands, and kissed him lightly on the forehead.
He reached the intercom and pressed the loud speaker.
"Docter Kadowaki, Seifer's room, emergency" he almost screamed as he failed to keep his voice calm and neutral.
He flipped of the intercom and raced back to the brunett, slowly bleeding to death.
Once again he took him in his arms and held him tightly keeping the slashed wrist above his weakly beating heart.
"Hold on for me Squall, please" he silently begged.
'But you didn't say you're sorry.
I don't understand.
You don't care that you hurt me.
And now I'm half the man,
That I used to be,
When it was you and me,
You didn't love me enough,
My heart may never mend,
And you'll never get to love me, again.'
Just before the darkness consumed him, Squall felt the lightest of touches of lips on skin to his burning forhead, and it cooled him.
His aching heart and hurting body.
But as always, the darkness would want more of him and as always he would yield to its demands. He knew he could never escape it. Its backness would swallow his light and bring him to emptyness.
That's just how it was.
But even then, as he felt the last tingling sensations dissapear from his skin, he felt an ounce of shadow lift from him, and a small crack of light seeped through in its place.
A/N soooooooooooooooooooooo, how will the next chapter shape up?
Will Seifer get his come upences me wonders???
And will Squall and Irvine have enough courage to seek out one and other in all that darkness?
Guess you'll just have to wait and find out.
Sorry for any bad spelling mistakes. I can't for the life of me get my spell check to work, and so I'm stuck just using me own noggin for a change. (tut)
R/R kisses to all
Gunbladequeen217
Just a few more notes to give out. Thanks to all my reviewers, you make my writing all worth while. Special thanx to Redrum, im asuming you are a girl, so all her support and help and positive mental attitude (hear on known as PMA) has helped me keep sight of where this fic is going and has driven me to want to write more, thanx sooooooo much.
Also thanx to everyone else, there are too many to remember, pluss im drunk so, ya know. But thanx for all your encouragment and for not bringing me down in flames.
Can I remind everyone that this is a sensative subject, and requires a mature frame of mind (hear on know as MFOM- mainly cos if I had missed out the F it would have said MOMlol) so anywho if this material offends thine eyes, hit the back button with all the might of your tiny little forefinger. However if you are of the age on consent, or feel that you are of mature mind, and of a sound, fit body (not really for the storie's benafit, I just like fit bodies-lol) then you are free to read on.
DISCLAIMER-The song in this chapter is by Justin Timberlake and is called 'Never Again', PLUS as always the characters are not mine but belong to Squaresoft, I am mearly the Puppet Master* tm*, and I'll put them back good as new when im done. Only the story and all plot bunnies here after are mine
So, without much further ado and much aflappin', I'll get on with the story.
CHAPTER 4
Squall could feel someone carrying him. The feeling was strange to him. He had never been carried before. But he felt as though he was floating.
Maybe he was floating?
But he felt hands on him. Not the kind he was used to though.
Warm hands, gentle. They were telling him it was alright. That it was arlight to feel alone, to feel scared and afraid, to feel trapped and vunrable.
They were telling him that it was okay to want something else. To need it.
He felt those careful hands on his face. Brushing the strands of hair out of his eyes.
He was lying down now. He lay on a bed. Or was someone just holding him?
Was that why he felt so warm?
'Would have given all my life, for you.
Guess it's true what they say about love, it's blind.
Oh you lied straight to my face,
Lookin' into my eyes.
And I believed you 'cos I loved you more than life.
And all you had to do, was appologise.'
Squall could feel the darkness swallowing him again. But he didn't want to leave those hands.
He tried to voice his objection, but he couldn't hear himself over the shouts in his head, and then the heavy darkness that was clogging his mind.
'Don't go, please stay?' he begged, he tried so hard to get those hands to hear him, to tell them to hold him again. But it was the darkness' fault. It was getting in the way.
Like it always did. When ever he saw the light, or thought he had found the answer, a darkness would always come and take it from him. He knew it, he knew that such happy things weren't ment for him. That only the bleak darkness was good enough for him.
Was it because it loved him?
Or was it because HE loved IT?
Was it because he craved it's solitude and strenght?
No, it couldn't be, could it? He wanted the light so much, he wanted the happiness so much. Then why could he never reach it. Was he too weak? Too helpless? Too blinded?
Blinded maybe, by love, or passion, maybe both. Although Squall knew most of the passion was in the darkness, the black lusted after him.
Did he love it enough to stay?
'You didn't say you're sorry.
I don't understand.
You don't care that you hurt me.
And now I'm half the man, that I used to be,
When it was you and me.
You didn't love me enough,
My heart may never mend,
And you'll never get to love me again.'
Irvine looked at Squall. He was so pale. His wet hair clung to his damp face and he gentley pushed it back, running his trembling fingers down the boys ivory cheeks.
A tear slipped free, and landed on Irvine's hand. He looked at it with remotness, as if he had never seen a tear before, least of all one of his own.
Was there another way out of this?
Another way to make him see?
Why couldn't he just..just..Irvine didn't know what. He couldn't think straight.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be, he knew it. He knew it, just as he knew the sun would rise. Squall was supposed to realise before it got this far. He was supposed to break free, supposed to start again, he was supposed to smile again.
He was supposed to go to Irvine.
He belonged with Irvine.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
'Sadness has me at the end of the line.
Helpless watched you break this heart, of mine.
Lonelyness only wants you back here with me.
But common sense knows that you're not good enough for me.
And all you had to do,
Was appologise, and mean it'
Irvine held Squall closer to him as they sat on the disgarded mattress. More tears fell from the cowboy's eyes as he cradled the 'sleeping' boy in his shaking arms. Gentley he rocked him back and forth, humming a song close to his ears.
He noticed how Squall's grey jumper was soaking, from both the water and the blood, and he suddenly remebered the wrist.
He grabbed for it and found the open wound, the 3 inch vertical gash going up his arm still seeping blood.
Diving for the nearest bit of cloth he found he picked up a small hand towel and wrapped it around the boy's wrist. As he brought his hand away, Irvine noticed more blood on his hand where he had been supporting Squall's head. And Irvine's thoughts suddenly flipped to the image of the baseball bat propped up against the door frame.
He stomach turned but he couldn't waste any more time being sick.
He carefuly lay the boy down.
"I'll be back in a minute" he promised as he held Squall's face cupped in his hands, and kissed him lightly on the forehead.
He reached the intercom and pressed the loud speaker.
"Docter Kadowaki, Seifer's room, emergency" he almost screamed as he failed to keep his voice calm and neutral.
He flipped of the intercom and raced back to the brunett, slowly bleeding to death.
Once again he took him in his arms and held him tightly keeping the slashed wrist above his weakly beating heart.
"Hold on for me Squall, please" he silently begged.
'But you didn't say you're sorry.
I don't understand.
You don't care that you hurt me.
And now I'm half the man,
That I used to be,
When it was you and me,
You didn't love me enough,
My heart may never mend,
And you'll never get to love me, again.'
Just before the darkness consumed him, Squall felt the lightest of touches of lips on skin to his burning forhead, and it cooled him.
His aching heart and hurting body.
But as always, the darkness would want more of him and as always he would yield to its demands. He knew he could never escape it. Its backness would swallow his light and bring him to emptyness.
That's just how it was.
But even then, as he felt the last tingling sensations dissapear from his skin, he felt an ounce of shadow lift from him, and a small crack of light seeped through in its place.
A/N soooooooooooooooooooooo, how will the next chapter shape up?
Will Seifer get his come upences me wonders???
And will Squall and Irvine have enough courage to seek out one and other in all that darkness?
Guess you'll just have to wait and find out.
Sorry for any bad spelling mistakes. I can't for the life of me get my spell check to work, and so I'm stuck just using me own noggin for a change. (tut)
R/R kisses to all
Gunbladequeen217