A/N: I'm SO happy!! I posted my fic last night and guess what?? 5 reviews already!! Thank you SO much!! *hugs reviewers* I checked my e-mail this morning at religion (we're supposed to research about Catholic church) and there were so many reviews that I nearly broke down crying *sniffle*. Honestly, I nearly did!! *sobs*
I realized that it didn't come out right in ff.net and I edited already. Can anyone tell me how to make it come out as I typed it in word? I had to put it in notepad and used javascript, it was a waste of time and I couldn't really be bothered. So if someone knows how to do it, please tell me!!
Review Responses for 'Are You Worth It? (a.k.a. Seberapa Pantas)'
shadow-the13()
I reckon!! I love SO7! Yeah, I already changed the format thingy. Does anyone know how to put it in exactly as I typed it up in word?
Lil-strange-person
Well, not another chapter but a sequel and here it is!!! *background song starting*
Meera
You think so? Thank you so much!! *huggles* I know it's weird, I'm a weird person after all! But I'm real glad you like it!!
Youkai Huntress
Thanks for your encouragement! *wipes away a stray tear* I like writing and that's why I write but reviews really boosted up my spirit and it kindda put me down when the review responses weren't that good. Here's the story so you don't have too bother hunting me down *hides under table*
Harmony
Yes, that's what I meant! Insomnia!! I guess I got it muddled up somehow… Thanks for telling me! Here's a sequel too it!!
Meta Lise
Thank you!! I promise I will work on my other fic after I finish this one!! I'm not confident at all with my writing skills and I'm really touched that you liked it! *breaks down crying*
Btw, this is a sequel to my other fic, 'Are You Worth It?', this time from Miroku's POV. I got inspired last night when I was failing to fall asleep (AGAIN!!) and was listening to Sheila On 7's songs really loudly too ward of people's voices. And I became more confident when people asked to make more chapters. So, here it is… a sequel…
Disclaimer: yeah, I do own Inuyasha. Inner thoughts: 'they can sue me if they want! I have nothing too lose!' *policeman walking in and taking away computer* NO!! Anything but THAT!! Okay, I *sob* admit it, I don't own Inuyasha or the lyrics. They are all Rumiko Takahashi's and Sheila on 7's. Happy now? GIVE BACK MY COMPUTER!!!! (not like it's mine, but yeah…)
Another guide of a kind…
Words in italics: original lyrics in Indonesian
Words in bold italics: my attempt on translating the lyrics
Regular words are just what's going on in the feudal world.
There Will Be No Regrets (a.k.a. Takkan Pernah Menyesal)By dEeYaN
After crying her heart out, Sango had fallen asleep in Miroku's arms. Miroku just sat there, feeling not a bit awkward even though he was sitting on the roof, metres away from the ground. All that matters was that the girl he cared for, no, more than that, could it be… love? Anyway, the girl who was his source of hope was in peace, at least for the moment…
He had sworn, once, that he would never fall in love. No, he cannot risk it at all. He had always said that he didn't want the other person to suffer his loss. And yet, deep down in his heart, he knew, giving away his heart only meant that it would be harder to leave.
Is it too late now? Is it too late to draw back once again? He knew Sango cared for him, at least as a special friend. Maybe not in the way he cared for her, but still a companion, someone who could be trusted.
Miroku tried, yes, he did try very hard to ignore his feelings. That is why he kept the lecherous mask, the personality that even he is disgusted with. But, why? Why can't he forget her? She is always in his mind whether he liked it or not. Her feelings always mattered to him. If she was out of sight even for a second, he started panicking, even though he knew better than anyone from personal experience that she is more than able to protect herself.
Why is this? What's so special about her?
Suddenly he felt Sango move and at once he tensed, not wanting to disturb her. She settled back down. Miroku relaxed once she was still and placed his chin on her head absent-mindly. He didn't realize that Sango was awake, she was too afraid to move, too afraid that this was only a dream, an illusion tricking her. They stayed quietly there, each worried about the other's comfort.
"Why am I always worried about you? Why do I care so much about you that it hurts?" Miroku whispered out loud to the night. Sango nearly died of heart attack, her heart didn't seem to work properly tonight, going faster and faster.
"H-houshi-sama…?" Sango whispered uncertainly and felt Miroku jump.
"Ah… So you are awake, Sango," Miroku slipped his mask back on.
"What was that about?" Sango asked still whispering.
"What was what about?" Miroku's faced betrayed nothing, but his eyes betrayed everything.
"What you were saying… Just then, when you thought I was asleep…" Sango started getting angry and sick of the monk's denial, while her heart was wrenched away again and again with his every word.
"You must be dreaming," the houshi had already broken the embrace even though it took so much effort just to move his hands away. All he wanted is to be close to her and never let go, ever.
Sango stood up angrily and yet sad at the same time, already she missed his warmth, the sense of protection she had while in his arms, "I guess you're right. It must have been a dream, what else could it be? But the dream's over isn't it, houshi-sama?"
Miroku nearly screamed when he heard Sango's painful words and especially tone, it was full of hurt, of anguish, of pain. 'What have I done?' he asked himself, 'what have I done too hurt you so?' But all he could say out loud was, "Sango…"
Sango was walking towards the end of the roof and preparing to go down when he heard him say her name. Just his voice, his dear voice nearly made her run back, run and hold him and never let go, but she was a taiji-ya, she was trained, so she didn't and just stood there for a while, waiting for what the monk had to say.
"I-I… I'm sorry," was all the houshi could say.
"What for? You have no reason to be sorry… none at all… It was my fault, houshi-sama. You have nothing to do with this," Sango turned around to face him and even forced a smile, "I was stupid… Just for a moment I thought… I thought that there is something more… I thought that… that maybe, just maybe you cared. But I was wrong…"
It was too much for Sango. She jumped of the roof and after landing safely, she ran, ran as fast as could. She didn't know where she was going, all she wanted was to run far, far away and forget everything. Forget that she even existed and is suffering. All the time tears were streaming down her cheeks, as if a dam had exploded.
Suddenly, her foot was caught on a root and she fell. She didn't even try to stand up, she just lay down there and let her tears flow. Nothing made sense anymore… nothing at all…
~*~*
Miroku stood there for a long time. He didn't want to move at all and even if he tried, he didn't think he could anyway. Her smile, that last smile that she gave to him, it kept on repeating itself over and over again, as if mocking him. That smile, so full of pain and anguish, full of tears and suffering.
"Just for a moment I thought… I thought that there is something more… I thought that… that maybe, just maybe you cared…"
Those words were accompanying her smile. He realized now that he had hurt her so much. He had hurt her more than anyone had hurt her. Hurt her even more than Naraku had. Naraku that had took everything away from her. He is worse than Naraku.
"All I want is for you to be happy… But all I do is make you suffer…" Miroku whispered while he watched her running blindly. He wanted to go after her, hold her in his arms and tell her everything is all right, but his legs wouldn't move. And the roof is kindda high too…
Aku tahu kisah ini terasa berat di pundakmuI know this story is burdening your shoulders
He had watched her all these times. He saw her suffering and he didn't want her to suffer. He knew if he told her the truth, it would do nothing but hurt her, or so he thought. That is why he acted lecherous, that is why he turned her away every time she is near.
But that had hurt her even more…
Aku tahu karena juga begitu berat di bahuku
I know because it is as heavy on my shouldersAnd it had hurt him too. It hurt him more than anything to see her cry or suffer. And it is close to killing him now that he knows it is he who caused her suffering. It hurt so much…
Di bahuku…
On my shoulders…
He got out of his trance at last and started to go after his beloved. He didn't even feel the pain he experienced when he jumped (and stumbled) of the roof. He started running in the direction Sango had gone. Luckily, the roof had given him a clear view.
He found her at last, sprawled on the ground, crying her heart out for the second time that night.
Sango was crying so much that she wondered why she hadn't been dry by now. However, she could not help crying, she could not stop even though she tried hard. She felt wretched and his voice kept coming back to taunt her, 'You must be dreaming'. On and on… Again and again…
Suddenly, for the second time that night, she felt strong arms wrapping themselves around her. She had no strength and yet she still struggled as hard as she could. Her brain no longer capable of reasoning, too full of pain it was. Pain and anguish that is starting to turn into hate and loathing.
"Let go of me! Go away, I hate you… Go away!" Sango managed to say with cracked voice due to too much crying between her sobs.
"No, Sango, I'm not letting you go. Not again, not anymore. Hate me if you want, but I am not letting you go," Sango stopped struggling upon hearing his voice (and words). She tried to look at his face and was shocked to see that her suspicion was confirmed.
The houshi was crying.
"Ho-houshi-sama…?" his sobs pierced right through her heart and worsened her sobs. She hated to see his masks, but she hated to see him cry even more. He, who challenged death everyday, is now crying. Why, she had no idea.
Di bahuku… ooo On my shoulders"I tried, I tried so hard not to care for you. B-but I can't help it, I never can. No matter how hard I try to not care, no matter how hard I try to not love you… I just can't…" Sango was shocked beyond words. She felt as if the sky had fallen on her and then suddenly she realized that it was all a dream, in which she had actually flown up to the sky, not the sky to her.
The houshi had felt Sango tensing up. He froze, waiting and dreading the slap that was bound to come. Or even worse, the quiet rejection full of pity that he was sure Sango was capable of with her gentle heart.
"Then… why did you push me away?" of all answers this was the one that the monk had least expected.
"I… Because…. Because of…" the houshi couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Because of this?" Sango asked, gently taking his right hand in hers. Miroku just nodded mutely.
Coba sayang, berhentilah meratapi keadaanku
Please try, darling, stop your laments for my condition
Miroku was even more surprised when Sango once again broke down crying in his hand, "why?" she asked, "why does it have to be us? Why does fate have to be so cruel?"
"Sshh…" he whispered trying to quieten her, "it will be alright."
"How can you say that? Don't you know how much it hurts? I barely live through it whenever you push me away, it hurts, Houshi-sama, it hurts," Sango sobbed into Miroku's robe.
"Sango…" Miroku tightened his embrace, but Sango wasn't finished.
"And yet, now it hurts even more to know that you share my feelings, but we cannot be together. I don't know what to do, I really don't know…"
Jangan pernah menyerah pada keadaan busuk ini
Never give up to this rotten situation
"I don't know what to do either, Sango," here Miroku kissed her forehead, "but I do know one thing, we can't give up, Sango. We can't let Naraku win before the battle even starts."
"But-but… can't we just forget about everything? Just forget that the kazaana even exists?" Sango's eyes were full of hope when she looked into his violet ones.
"We can't just forget it, Sango. You, yourself know what it can do, Sango! It will one day force me to leave you. What is the point of covering the wound only to make it even worse? And I can never leave you suffering on your own. If it were I who is to suffer, I would do it. But I will not let you suffer more, Sango. You have suffered too much, Sango, too much…
"Only after all this is over, will we be happy. Before that, we can only live in fear of parting. At least we are doing something now, at least there is still hope. When there is still hope, there is still a chance, however small, for us to be happy."
Sango couldn't say anything, he was right, as always. It would only hurt her even more to loose him one day, "I had always thought, if only you answered my feelings, I would be contented for the rest of my life. But now, it doesn't seem enough anymore… But you are right, after all 'no pain, no gain', right?" Sango tried to smile.
Apapun yang akan terjadi
Whatever that happensTakkan pernah aku sesali
I will never regret it"It hurts to wait, but at least we have each other, ne?" Miroku could only nod seeing his beloved's eyes filled with tears once again.
"There will be no regrets at all. What is going to happen, will happen anyway. We can't control it. At least we have tried, even though in vain… There is still hope…" Miroku continued
Bila menjalani semua denganmu
If I'm going through it with youBila memahami semua denganmu
If I understand it together with youAku… takkan pernah menyesal
I… will never have any regretsTakkan pernah menyesal
Never have any regretsTakkan pernah menyesal
Never have any regretsTakkan pernah menyesal
Never have any regretsTakkan pernah menyesal
Never have any regretsTakkan pernah menyesal
Never have any regrets
~*~*
"You know, Sango, I'm really happy that I told you my feelings tonight. I feel so much better. It's so much better now that we understand each other. So much better than guessing what you are feeling and hurting you unconsciously." Miroku stated after the couple had calmed down and were sitting in each other's arms, admiring the same stars, which had started this special night.
"Hmm…" Sango sleepily answered snuggling closer to Miroku.
"There will be no regrets at all… Because I have you…" he whispered to the now sleeping Sango. Sango smiled in her sleep, the most peaceful sleep she ever had.
THE END!!!
A/N: So there we go… Finish at last!!! Tell me whether you like it or not, R and R!! Btw, maybe you guys are wondering by now, why I chose the roof. Well, I use to have this weird habit of sitting on the roof everyday to see the sunset or just study up there. I live in a really crowded city, you can barely see the sky (I AM exaggerating this, kindda). So, yeah… roof is my fav place. Specially on new years eve!! You see fireworks from all over the city!!! So pretty!!! Can't wait to go home, 5 more weeks!!
Another thing, if anyone wants the song, I would be more than happy to send it to you, just e-mail me or say it in your review, k?
Everyone must be pretty bored with my ranting by now, so I'll go. Don't forget R & R!! I might even write an epilogue for it… *nudge nudge* *hint hint*
Thanks for reading!!!!!