Author's note: HELP!!! I CAN'T GET ANY ITALICS TO SHOW UP! They look fine on Word but don't show when I upload...Why? If anyone can help, I would be extremely grateful…thank you.

Chapter 2


 " HE WHAAAAAAT!?"

 "Now Sybil, can you imagine the consequences if I don't go?"

Lady Sybil, red in the face and obviously furious, stormed out of the bedroom, sweeping her husband aside.

 "We'll see about this." She said grimly.

* * *

Lord Vetinari was sorting through the papers on his desk when he heard: "HAVELOCK VETINARI YOU WAIT 'TILL I GET MY BLOODY HANDS ON YOU!" from the corridor outside his office. With great presence of mind, he ducked behind his desk.

Which was just as well as the door was thrown open and a very angry Ex-Ramkin hurled a milk jug at the empty space where he would otherwise have been sitting.

Vetinari heard a panicked  "Sybil what the hells do you think you're doing!" from Sam Vimes before Drumknott ran in.

"Is everythi…" he started, before he was knocked out cold with a punch that would have totalled an elephant, or cause it severe concussion at least.

 "NOW OF ALL TIMES, WHEN I REALLY, REALLY NEED HIM!" she yelled at Vetinari "YOU JUST GO AND…YOU JUST…I know you're behind your desk." She faltered.

"Sybil, this really isn't his fault, he didn't even want me to go!" Vimes said, desperately trying to calm her down.

Vetinari risked peering over the top of his desk. He opened his mouth to speak but was silenced by a Medusa-type glare from Lady Sybil.

There was an unbearably long pause.

Sybil then did something totally unexpected.

She burst into tears.

Vimes stood there with his mouth open. He'd only seen Sybil cry over excessive cruelty to dragons, The Bloodaxe and Ironhammer opera and the incident with the bandits in Wilinus Pass. When you were a Ramkin (or a Vimes for that matter) you generally shunned tears, got on with things and jolly well didn't whine about whatever card fate had dealt you.

 " I'm s-sorry" Sybil wept "I know I'm all over the p-place at the moment and it's not your fault the King's gone missing Havelock, but Sam's job can make things so difficult at times, especially now."

She blew her nose noisily.

Her husband looked at her helplessly. He then risked a look at the patrician; the man looked relieved that the worst seemed to be over.

Vetinari caught Vimes looking at him and quickly composed his face into a carefully blank expression.

Vimes quickly turned back to Sybil.

 "I think." He said, " That we should be going now Sybil."

He glanced at the patrician who nodded slowly.
.
As they left, Vimes was so preoccupied, he fell over Drumknott.

* * *

Igor shuffled along a candle-lit corridor, muttering to himself.

He descended a heavily creaking stairway, finally arriving at a large stone slab in the wall.

He pushed it open.

The room beyond was a dark crypt, furnished only with a coffin in the centre.

Igor knocked softly on the lid. It was pushed aside a fraction.

 "Vell?" said a voice.

 " Your Ladythip did say to tell you if there wath any newth." Lisped Igor.

 " Yes? Vot is it?" the voice said again, sounding excited.

 " Vimeth ith on hith way now Mithtreth."

The coffin lid was thrown aside completely and Lady Margolotta sat up, her eyes shining.

 " Really?"   she said, "now that IS good news."

 "Yes Mithtreth." Said Igor.

 " I vonder if his second visit will be any better than his first?"

* * *

Sam Vimes was meanwhile treading very carefully around his wife. After the spectacle at the palace, she had promptly retired to bed, saying she was exhausted after her emotional outburst.

Like trying to smash Vetinari's head in with a milk jug had just slipped her mind and wasn't a hanging offence.

If it were me, Vimes mused, I'd never sleep again. Actually, he corrected himself; I wouldn't have the chance to sleep again.

He was leaving later that day for Uberwald. Suddenly, leaving Sybil for a while didn't seem like such a bad idea. He cursed himself for thinking like this, but then again, he didn't want to be next on her hit list.

* * *

Drumknott came to.

In Vetinari's bed.

He'd worked for him for almost six years and the schoolboy crush he'd had on the man had never gone away.

Finally, he thought in his muzzy state, it had taken him long enough.

He tried to sit up, but for some reason his head hurt like mad…then it all swam into focus.

1: the man standing over him was not Vetinari; it was Vetinari's physician.

2: he was fully clothed.

3: since when did a pounding headache feature in ANY fantasy involving your boss? Except possibly the one where you hit them with a lump hammer?

The man above him spoke: "How are you feeling?" he said. " That was a pretty nasty punch you took."

Taking in Drumknotts' confused expression he added: "We moved you in here…it was the closest bedroom."

Drumknott sank back onto the pillows.

Bugger.

* * *

Vimes was now packed and ready to go, he kissed a still tearful Sybil goodbye and climbed into the waiting carriage. He was sharing it with a very fat man in purple and gold robes who introduced himself as one Ulrich Von Uberwald, a sort of secondary ambassador to the country.

 " I'm afraid I have bad news." He said.

 "What, more?" said Vimes sarcastically as the carriage trundled through the gates of the city.

Ulrich appeared not to notice,

 " Some of Albrecht's supporters have burnt down the Ankh-Morporkian embassy." He said patiently.

Vimes stared at him open mouthed.

 "Was there anyone there at the time?" He said eventually.

 "Only the resident Igor sir." Said Ulrich.

 " Well, they're experts at patching themselves up." Said Vimes.

Ulrich smiled briefly.

 "Very amusing sir, this puts us in a difficult position as you can see."

 " Yes, I see."  Said Vimes impatiently " So where am I staying?"

 "Er, let me see." Said Ulrich, sorting through his notes "Ah yes, with the Lady Margolotta Von Uberwald sir."

He saw Vimes' horrified expression and leaned forward anxiously.

 "That is alright isn't it?" he said. " I think the werewolves might accommodate if…"

Vimes' eyes nearly popped out. Did this man know what had happened the last time Vimes had seen the werewolves? Talk about the lesser of two evils!

 "No" he croaked finally, "That's fine."

* * *