Chapter 2
Marie POV
Still Matchbox Twenty's Busted. Still not my X-men.
Plenty of song left guys –tell me if you want me to continue.
I found out one life ain't enough
I need
another soul to feed on I'm
the flame I can't get burnt
I'm
wholly understated
I found silence in this space an on and off again attraction
I need such amazing grace heaven sweep me away
The woman thought of as a girl known as Rogue felt angry. She wanted to cry. To break down and cry and beat her fists at what had happened. Her friend and mentor was dead. Her teacher, her roll model, her competition for Logan's attention. Jean had been all of these things. All of them and more. And now she was dead. Gone. And Rogue really wanted to cry because of the unfairness of it all. But the only emotion she could feel was anger. Blind rage –and that wasn't an emotion that brought up many tears. She was so mad. Mad at the world, mad at Scott and Logan, mad at herself and mad at Jean. How could she have done this to them all? How were they supposed to go on without her? She was their strength. Their touchstone. Her intelligence had saved them all a million times over. She could still remember waking up in the lab feeling like a trapped animal. Feeling like Wolverine – smelling, hearing, sensing, everything. And feeling so alone. The only thing that had calmed her down was Jean. Jean's smooth voice and quiet demeanor. It had lulled the beast within her. She also remembered later when Logan's traits had retreated and Magneto's had tried to take over. She remembers tasting anger then too. It was in the back of her throat –clogging and choking her –trying to make her do things, feel things, that she didn't want to feel. She also felt fear. Fear of humans, fear of the future –and Jean had helped her then too. Told her in a motherly tone that everything was going to be fine. Helped the professor teach her ways to make the voices stop – to push the personalities behind her own. But now Jean was gone and who was gonna help her get a hold of John's anger. Who was gonna help her get control of her own? She was supposed to be happy. Logan was back. Back for good it looked. He had let go of his past and become part of the team. She was supposed to be happy. But no – her friend was back –but another was gone. And Logan was hurtin too. Hurtin bad. And she didn't know how to help him. And she had a sneaking suspician that she was the only one who could help him now. And she had no idea how to do it. Which just made her angry. He'd loved Jean. Wanted Jean. Rogue had spent an entire summer getting use to that. Letting go of her crush –telling herself that Logan would never see her as anything but a little girl. She had went to a lot of effort to not resent Jean for having and throwing away all the feelings she so badly wanted for herself. And she had done it. And now – now Jean dies. Jean leaves just when Logan might be back for good. It was hard not to be mad at life for that. For killing what could have been - what could have been for Jean and Logan. What she would never have in this life, this world.
love don't change,
don't come around here
don't wear my heart on your sleeve like a high school letter
don't strain, cuz nothing ever comes from it
and the people we've become,
well they've never been the people who we are