Chapter 1 – Isolating
She was draped in black and dark green mesh, and did not show bare skin at all, she hid behind thick eyeliner, and by wearing her hair over her face in an unattractive mussed fashion that did not do her unearthly beauty justice. She sat at a table outside, trying to feign engrossment in an Anne Rice novel.
But secretly, she'd be watching all the other people around her, all the other students of Bayville High. She felt distanced from them, as if a barbed wire fence were between them. She wanted to be them.
She wanted to be the pretty blonde cheerleader in her little mini skirt, and her tiny little tanktop, waving pompoms whilst jumping in the air, flexing long, slender tan thighs, and a perfect stomach.
She wanted to be like the trendy girl sitting on the school steps, wearing one of the latest fashions, her hair styled in the most stylish way.
She wanted to be the girl with the in crowd, who was funny, and pretty, and had all the right things to say.
Rogue wished she were like everyone else, yet, fought the possibility that she ever could. She had no hope, no matter what everyone else at the Institute would tell her, she knew she was different – a mutant, with no hope.
She felt trapped in her own body, every day new thoughts would arise as to how she would live the rest of her life with this…this…affliction. How could she go on forever without ever being able to touch another being? Always being afraid of touching someone else even when the thickest cotton or leather was between their skin.
What hurt the most is that she knew – for everyone else's safety – that she could never attempt to live as them. She could never be the sexy blonde cheerleader, she could never be the trendy girl, she couldn't even be near them – for fear of hurting them. Even when the passed her in the hall she would recoil, afraid that they might accidentally brush against her skin and cause her mutant power to harm them.
"Rogue!"
Rogue came out of her daze, the loud sudden voice unsettling her, she dropped her book, her heart jumping in her chest. "Wha—oh…Kurt…" she made a face, and looked at Kurt Wagner, he looked at her strangely, she seemed troubled.
"I just found out that there is a surprise test coming today."
"You've spoiled the surprise," Rogue uttered bitterly, her southern drawl seemed to emphasize her sarcasm.
"You did not do the homework, did you?" Kurt asked, he raised an eyebrow.
"Kurt, I couldn't give a flying catfish for science homework," she stood up, and picked up her bag from the bench she'd been sitting upon and stuffed her Anne Rice novel into it.
"You know, one day science might be the only thing that can control your power," Kurt pointed out to her.
Rogue stopped, and she looked at the floor, her eyes glazed over for a minute, and it almost seemed as if tears were forming behind them. She pulled herself together, "nothing will control my power," she remarked, rather coldly, and pulled her bag onto her shoulder.
"That's not true, new discoveries are made all the time regarding mutant abilities."
Rogue threw Kurt a hard glance, and she took a quarter out of the pocket of her skirt, and tossed it onto the table, it landed on its edge and spun. "Here's a quarter, go call someone who cares," she muttered, and then headed off in the direction of the school, leaving him standing there alone.
Kurt stood wondering what he'd done to deserve her bad temper, but soon enough realised that she'd more or less always been so…volatile, her mood seemed to always swing constantly, moments she'd be less dismal than usual, and then she'd be in the worst moods ever – and everyone would be avoiding her for days.
Kurt shook off the feeling he'd upset her and he wandered over to find the table where his friends were sitting, he sat beside Kitty Pride, and looked over to Scott Summers, who more or less, was the unspoken leader of the group, "Rogue is in a bad mood again."
"She's always in a bad mood," Kitty responded, she stabbed her fork into a leaf of lettuce on her plate.
"I feel so bad that I can't help her," Kurt sighed.
Jean looked at Kurt, "You feel you have a bond with her, don't you?"
"I…guess so. Mystique was her mother – and is my mother. This makes us almost like brother and sister…family."
"It's nice that you think of Rogue in that way, Kurt," Jean smiled a little.
"Surely there must be a way to cheer Rogue up," Evan took a large swig of from his mini-carton of milk.
"If there was, we would have thought of it by now," Kitty gave a shrug. "I find her hard to get along with. Sometimes she's okay, but then…I can't stand her depressive states…they're so…" Kitty fumbled for the words.
"Depressing?" Scott asked.
"Exactly," Kitty nodded.
"We should help her if we can, but if it means keeping our distance when she wants us to, then we have to respect that," Jean pointed out.
"I guess…" Kurt looked to the school, seeing Rogue disappear into the doors that led into the cafeteria, he chewed his lip, despite what Jean said, he didn't feel this was the action he should take.
Rogue was already sitting at the bench in Science class when Kurt arrived, he and Rogue were in the same classes – except for Drama which Kurt did not take. Rogue didn't seem very interested in getting prepared for science class, she was too busy doodling some picture in her workbook.
Kurt always felt bad for Rogue in most classes. Whenever there was a situation where the class were asked to pair up, Rogue usually ended up being alone. No one wanted to pair up with her, her gothic image and moody attitude seemed to scare the other students away.
He remembered – and it always made him run cold – the day that Rogue was first put into all his classes, and their teacher asked them to find partners. Everyone moved away from her, and she sat there alone, looking at her desk, he thought he'd seen a tear in her eye.
And normally, he would not pair up with her either, she was far too brooding and melancholy, but when he'd seen everyone look at her and whisper, and then move away to pair up with someone else, leaving her out, he'd understood. He'd been there, he'd had people think he was a freak, and not want to be near him either.
Kurt grabbed two white coats from the hanger in the corner, two pairs of goggles and walked over, dropping a pair of goggles and a coat in front of her, right on her workbook.
Rogue did not raise her eyes from the paper, she just remained still. Kurt acted as if nothing had happened outside at Lunch. Kurt put his hand on her shoulder, very slowly, and very carefully, just as he'd predicted, she did flinch. "Don't," she pleaded. "I'll be your science partner, but I don't want you touching me. Ever," she pulled away and put the white coat on and the goggles on.
Kurt watched her, so much sadness in her eyes, so much bitterness and hostility, something was going on, further than he – or perhaps even anyone else in their group of friends could understand. "Rogue…" he sighed.
"What?" she looked at him.
"What is going on?" Kurt asked in a soft caring tone.
"What's going on is I'm about to fail a science test," she looked at him.
"You know what I mean," he folded his arms in an almost insecure way, he kept his eyes on her.
"Whatever," Rogue adjusted her goggles a little.
"Don't you get tired of isolating?" Kurt asked curiously.
Rogue looked at him, "Kurt…" she looked, "I understand you're trying to do the 'right' thing by trying to 'help' me. You can do the 'right' thing and 'help' me by keeping out of my life…period."
Kurt sighed, perhaps breaking through Rogue's isolative nature would be harder than he thought, but somehow he decided he'd do it.