Dedicated to Thundera Tiger, who has been sorely missed and whose latest update inspired my choice for the main character in this hiccup.

Hiccup 3- Hidden Amongst the Archives

"Is that what I think it is?"

"What do you think it is?"

"Don't get cheeky with me, Legolas," Thranduil grumbled, glaring at his grinning son. For a second he allowed himself in envisioning shaving off his youngest's hair down to the scalp, but that would not be proper behaviour for an elf lord, no.

"My apologies, father." The grin remained, however. He had known that all that association with the brood of Eärendil were bound to have a side-effect. "And though I can't claim to read your mind, I believe that it is what you think it is."

Thranduil shuddered. For a moment he considered the idea that Legolas had planted it himself, but he sincerely prayed to Iluvatar that he had brought up his children with enough sense to not stoop that low. He would put it beneath the Dwarves!

"How did it get here?" He averted his eyes, unable to look any longer.

Legolas looked torn between amusement and horror. "I dare not think about it. But it is a deed worthy of Sauron himself."

"Pick it up, ion-nin."

"What?"

"As your father and King, I command you to pick up that… that gastly thing."

Footsteps behind them. The two elves turned, and saw the face of Gimli and King Elessar fixed in an expression of disbelief.

"King Elessar," Thranduil began, his voice a little shaky. "Would you know of any who may have entered the library recently and left this… This?"

The Man's mouth opened, closed, opened, then closed again. Gimli looked like he was deciding between laughing and averting his eyes.

"Nay, I'm afraid not, King Thranduil," Elessar finally answered. "But rest assured, I shall speak to my men about it."

Satisfied, and very eager to get as far away from the object in question as possible (and erase the unpleasant images in his mind concerning said object), Thranduil nodded and strode regally – albeit quickly – out of the dusty library.

Unfortunately for him (and for us, come to think of it), his keen hearing caught a hushed conversation that made him abandon all pretense of infallibility and fled the area.

"Apologies Aragorn, it was either the book or this, and I did not think it healthy for my father to even have knowledge of that book."

"I should never have trusted the likes of the two of you with such things!"

"Hush, Gimli. Speaking of which, can I have those back, Legolas?"

For the rest of the week Thranduil had nightmares- of very, very luminescent pink tight breeches.

~*~

Author's Notes:

Wow, 15 reviews already! *Dances around happily. And Thundera's back- check out "A Mirkwood Solstice" And apologies for the unlikeliness of this fic, but I couldn't resist! I had to have pink tights somewhere, and I don't dare think how it would fit in any of my other fics.

Whistling "Men In Tights"…

Many thanks to: Silian, Dis Thrainsdotter, Virtuous Healer, LegyLuva, Aria, Alklachion, Menlathiel, Kaminari, Menegliniel, Eirtae, ~ME, suga_hi, Cerridwen

This one's not much of a real 'hiccup', but hope you enjoy it anyway.