Title: Minority Report - The Remix
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters ... they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick ... or Steven Spielberg.
A/N: Another chapter ... and another hilarious set of reviews!! Okay, so here goes:
- Sirius, that homophobic comment wasn't related to you at all, I was thinking that there are an awful lot of those kinda messages being sent out with this film. Or maybe we'll all a little twisted. *shrugs*
- Phantom, I'm glad that you're starting to like Colin now. I should change my name to "The Converter", mwahahaha. And yes, the necklace bit is random, but I read somewhere [in my "extensive" research of this film, otherwise known as Colin research] that his character is meant to be really religious, hence his rambling on in the "Temple". That's one theory though.
By the by, I've only seen this movie once, so if I get a couple of scenes screwed up, forgive me.
.........................................
EXT. OF A CAR ZOOMING ALONG A CLEAR OPEN ROAD IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
TOM:: Wow, this is a nice car. *drives past a sign saying "Bates Motel - next right*
AUDIENCE:: Damn.
TOM:: *turns into another lane* Okay, so what am I doing here? *gets out of the car*
IRIS HINEMAN:: Hi. I'm Dr. Iris Hineman.
TOM:: Er ... do I know you?
IRIS HINEMAN:: No but you will soon. This is the part where I explain to you all about the three pre-cogs, and you get a chance to see some of Steven's CGI.
TOM:: *tries to sit down on a log but gets whipped by an ivy branch* Ow!
IRIS HINEMAN:: Ooh, that's gonna hurt. Here, drink some tea.
TOM:: I don't trust you.
IRIS HINEMAN:: Good, now you're learning fast. Anyway, the pre-cogs were from mothers who took drugs.
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: So don't take drugs kids. Or else your kids will turn out to be able to see murders in their dreams and save mankind.
AUDIENCE:: Er ...
IRIS HINEMAN:: So I decided to get rich by thinking up this nifty idea of pre-crime. Aren't I amazing?
TOM:: I don't understand you.
IRIS HINEMAN:: Don't worry, that was a rhetorical question.
TOM:: Why am I here?
IRIS HINEMAN:: *sighs* Okay, I'll make this straight. Sometimes the pre- cogs disagree with what they see. Two of them see one thing, the third see another. What the hell, democracy, so we go with the majority. Sometimes though the minority, the third pre-cog could be right. Go get the minority report.
AUDIENCE:: Oh, now I see where the title came from.
TOM:: So where is it?
IRIS HINEMAN:: It's in the female of course.
FEMALE AUDIENCE:: Cause we're the smarter sex.
MALE AUDIENCE:: Did someone say sex?
TOM:: Okay, so I just hack into her brain and get out the report and hey presto, I'm innocent?
IRIS HINEMAN:: If only it were that easy.
TOM:: *runs off*
IRIS HINEMAN:: Wait you fool!
TOM:: *screeches to a halt*
IRIS HINEMAN:: Go get some new eyeballs.
TOM:: What's wrong with mine? Aren't they pretty enough? *flutters eyelashes*
IRIS HINEMAN:: If you walk around D.C with those baby blues, you're gonna get ID.ed.
TOM:: Huh?
IRIS HINEMAN:: *get pissed off* They'll be able to trace you wherever you go!
TOM:: Oooh!
IRIS HINEMAN:: So go to this address *gives him piece of paper* and get some new eyeballs, okay?
TOM:: Will do.
INT. PRE-CRIME DEPARTMENT
COLIN:: I've just been to see Lara, Tom's wife.
AUDIENCE:: Really? When?
COLIN:: The author doesn't want to include pointless scenes in this fic.
AUDIENCE:: Fine by us.
COLIN:: Well, moving swiftly on ...
JED:: Should we watch the video thing again?
COLIN:: Let's go for it. *dons on Tom's funky gloves and dims the lights*
JED:: Music?
COLIN:: No need - I'm deep enough already.
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *sigh* Not gonna say no to that.
COLIN:: *watches video and does some impressive hand movements* Aha!
JED:: What?
COLIN:: What does that look like to you?
JED:: A blur?
COLIN:: Sorry, let me zoom in a little more. Now what?
JED:: A sharpened blur?
COLIN:: How 'bout you, Fletcher?
FLETCHER:: I dunno.
COLIN:: Can anyone guess what this is?
GIDEON:: I do! I do! Pick me! Pick me! *puts his hand up in the air*
COLIN:: Anyone?
GIDEON:: Me! Me! Me!
COLIN:: Fine. Gideon. Enlighten us.
GIDEON:: It's Agatha!
FLETCHER:: No!
GIDEON:: Yes!
JED:: Still looks like a blur to me.
COLIN:: Well done kiddies. Now then, let's put our brains together and think. Well, those who have brains. Agatha is with Tom when he shoots Crow. Therefore ... she's already a part of this.
JED:: So?
COLIN:: He's coming here to get her.
Disclaimer: It's kinda obvious that I don't own any of the original characters ... they came from the wonderful Phillip K. Dick ... or Steven Spielberg.
A/N: Another chapter ... and another hilarious set of reviews!! Okay, so here goes:
- Sirius, that homophobic comment wasn't related to you at all, I was thinking that there are an awful lot of those kinda messages being sent out with this film. Or maybe we'll all a little twisted. *shrugs*
- Phantom, I'm glad that you're starting to like Colin now. I should change my name to "The Converter", mwahahaha. And yes, the necklace bit is random, but I read somewhere [in my "extensive" research of this film, otherwise known as Colin research] that his character is meant to be really religious, hence his rambling on in the "Temple". That's one theory though.
By the by, I've only seen this movie once, so if I get a couple of scenes screwed up, forgive me.
.........................................
EXT. OF A CAR ZOOMING ALONG A CLEAR OPEN ROAD IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
TOM:: Wow, this is a nice car. *drives past a sign saying "Bates Motel - next right*
AUDIENCE:: Damn.
TOM:: *turns into another lane* Okay, so what am I doing here? *gets out of the car*
IRIS HINEMAN:: Hi. I'm Dr. Iris Hineman.
TOM:: Er ... do I know you?
IRIS HINEMAN:: No but you will soon. This is the part where I explain to you all about the three pre-cogs, and you get a chance to see some of Steven's CGI.
TOM:: *tries to sit down on a log but gets whipped by an ivy branch* Ow!
IRIS HINEMAN:: Ooh, that's gonna hurt. Here, drink some tea.
TOM:: I don't trust you.
IRIS HINEMAN:: Good, now you're learning fast. Anyway, the pre-cogs were from mothers who took drugs.
STEVEN SPIELBERG:: So don't take drugs kids. Or else your kids will turn out to be able to see murders in their dreams and save mankind.
AUDIENCE:: Er ...
IRIS HINEMAN:: So I decided to get rich by thinking up this nifty idea of pre-crime. Aren't I amazing?
TOM:: I don't understand you.
IRIS HINEMAN:: Don't worry, that was a rhetorical question.
TOM:: Why am I here?
IRIS HINEMAN:: *sighs* Okay, I'll make this straight. Sometimes the pre- cogs disagree with what they see. Two of them see one thing, the third see another. What the hell, democracy, so we go with the majority. Sometimes though the minority, the third pre-cog could be right. Go get the minority report.
AUDIENCE:: Oh, now I see where the title came from.
TOM:: So where is it?
IRIS HINEMAN:: It's in the female of course.
FEMALE AUDIENCE:: Cause we're the smarter sex.
MALE AUDIENCE:: Did someone say sex?
TOM:: Okay, so I just hack into her brain and get out the report and hey presto, I'm innocent?
IRIS HINEMAN:: If only it were that easy.
TOM:: *runs off*
IRIS HINEMAN:: Wait you fool!
TOM:: *screeches to a halt*
IRIS HINEMAN:: Go get some new eyeballs.
TOM:: What's wrong with mine? Aren't they pretty enough? *flutters eyelashes*
IRIS HINEMAN:: If you walk around D.C with those baby blues, you're gonna get ID.ed.
TOM:: Huh?
IRIS HINEMAN:: *get pissed off* They'll be able to trace you wherever you go!
TOM:: Oooh!
IRIS HINEMAN:: So go to this address *gives him piece of paper* and get some new eyeballs, okay?
TOM:: Will do.
INT. PRE-CRIME DEPARTMENT
COLIN:: I've just been to see Lara, Tom's wife.
AUDIENCE:: Really? When?
COLIN:: The author doesn't want to include pointless scenes in this fic.
AUDIENCE:: Fine by us.
COLIN:: Well, moving swiftly on ...
JED:: Should we watch the video thing again?
COLIN:: Let's go for it. *dons on Tom's funky gloves and dims the lights*
JED:: Music?
COLIN:: No need - I'm deep enough already.
COLIN FANGIRLS:: *sigh* Not gonna say no to that.
COLIN:: *watches video and does some impressive hand movements* Aha!
JED:: What?
COLIN:: What does that look like to you?
JED:: A blur?
COLIN:: Sorry, let me zoom in a little more. Now what?
JED:: A sharpened blur?
COLIN:: How 'bout you, Fletcher?
FLETCHER:: I dunno.
COLIN:: Can anyone guess what this is?
GIDEON:: I do! I do! Pick me! Pick me! *puts his hand up in the air*
COLIN:: Anyone?
GIDEON:: Me! Me! Me!
COLIN:: Fine. Gideon. Enlighten us.
GIDEON:: It's Agatha!
FLETCHER:: No!
GIDEON:: Yes!
JED:: Still looks like a blur to me.
COLIN:: Well done kiddies. Now then, let's put our brains together and think. Well, those who have brains. Agatha is with Tom when he shoots Crow. Therefore ... she's already a part of this.
JED:: So?
COLIN:: He's coming here to get her.