Author: Dracona
Title: Betrayal
Type: nonsensical comedy
Rating: R-ish
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Harry is betrayed by a very close friend. Disturbingly funny.
Feedback: yes, please
Author's Note: Harry and Draco do not belong to me. *sobs* However, this
story does. Please don't take it without asking.
Draco: (kisses Harry full on the lips. smirks as he pulls away) I told you
I knew where he was.
Voldemort: Very Good, Young Malfoy.
Harry: Draco, must you betray me with a kiss?
Draco: (Draws his wand, sobbing) Avada Kedavra. (Harry crumbles to the
ground)
Dracona: What in bloody hell was that? (Harry stands up. Draco puts his
wand up and wraps an arm around Harry's waist. Voldemort glares at Draco) I
do NOT want some soppy "I love him, but have to kill him story here! Can we
PLEASE insert some humor? Something funny? You know what I'm talkin' 'bout?
(the trio nods) Good. Let's try that again. Places.
Voldemort: Why do we have to do what she says?
Draco: Because she's the all-powerful fanfic muse. All of us lowly
characters must bend to her will.
Voldemort: Ah . . . okay.
Dracona: Action!
Draco: (kisses Harry passionately on the lips. as he pulls away) I told you
I knew where he was.
Voldemort: Very good, young Malfoy.
Harry: Draco, must you betray me with a kiss?
Draco: Yes.
Harry: Coo'. Can you betray me again?
Draco: Sure thing. (pulls Harry to him, kissing him so hard Harry's teeth
almost fall out into his mouth)
Voldemort: (to Draco) Stop that now, biatch! He hasn't paid for you.
Draco: Whatever, Voldie; I'm busy.
Harry: (pulling Draco into another lip-locker kiss) Cummere, honey. (Harry
wraps a leg around Draco's waist as Draco lowers him to the ground)
Voldemort: Ewww dudes! Get a room.
Harry: (detaches his mouth from Draco's for a breath of air, and a snide
retort) In case you hadn't noticed, we are in a room. (gasps as Draco
starts unbuttoning Harry's shirt)
Voldemort: (to Dracona) Can I please go?
Dracona: You're his pimp, you should be able to take the sight of him
schnoinking a guy.
Voldemort: If it was any other guy, I could take it, but not HIM!
Dracona: Oh, very well. (waves her all-powerful hand and a huge black
blanket covers the two lovers. To Voldemort) Now, just pretend they're not
there.
Voldemort: They're not there? (points to the now-writhing blanket) Got it.
I can imagine that. (suddenly, there is a lot of very loud moaning coming
from the blanket followed by "Draco!" "Harry!") I don't think I can do
this.
(a few moments later Harry and Draco emerge, clothes a little disheveled
and looking very happy)
Dracona: End Scene. Great work today, guys. Same time tomorrow. See ya! (a
groan erupts from the cast of three as Dracona walks out)
Title: Betrayal
Type: nonsensical comedy
Rating: R-ish
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Harry is betrayed by a very close friend. Disturbingly funny.
Feedback: yes, please
Author's Note: Harry and Draco do not belong to me. *sobs* However, this
story does. Please don't take it without asking.
Draco: (kisses Harry full on the lips. smirks as he pulls away) I told you
I knew where he was.
Voldemort: Very Good, Young Malfoy.
Harry: Draco, must you betray me with a kiss?
Draco: (Draws his wand, sobbing) Avada Kedavra. (Harry crumbles to the
ground)
Dracona: What in bloody hell was that? (Harry stands up. Draco puts his
wand up and wraps an arm around Harry's waist. Voldemort glares at Draco) I
do NOT want some soppy "I love him, but have to kill him story here! Can we
PLEASE insert some humor? Something funny? You know what I'm talkin' 'bout?
(the trio nods) Good. Let's try that again. Places.
Voldemort: Why do we have to do what she says?
Draco: Because she's the all-powerful fanfic muse. All of us lowly
characters must bend to her will.
Voldemort: Ah . . . okay.
Dracona: Action!
Draco: (kisses Harry passionately on the lips. as he pulls away) I told you
I knew where he was.
Voldemort: Very good, young Malfoy.
Harry: Draco, must you betray me with a kiss?
Draco: Yes.
Harry: Coo'. Can you betray me again?
Draco: Sure thing. (pulls Harry to him, kissing him so hard Harry's teeth
almost fall out into his mouth)
Voldemort: (to Draco) Stop that now, biatch! He hasn't paid for you.
Draco: Whatever, Voldie; I'm busy.
Harry: (pulling Draco into another lip-locker kiss) Cummere, honey. (Harry
wraps a leg around Draco's waist as Draco lowers him to the ground)
Voldemort: Ewww dudes! Get a room.
Harry: (detaches his mouth from Draco's for a breath of air, and a snide
retort) In case you hadn't noticed, we are in a room. (gasps as Draco
starts unbuttoning Harry's shirt)
Voldemort: (to Dracona) Can I please go?
Dracona: You're his pimp, you should be able to take the sight of him
schnoinking a guy.
Voldemort: If it was any other guy, I could take it, but not HIM!
Dracona: Oh, very well. (waves her all-powerful hand and a huge black
blanket covers the two lovers. To Voldemort) Now, just pretend they're not
there.
Voldemort: They're not there? (points to the now-writhing blanket) Got it.
I can imagine that. (suddenly, there is a lot of very loud moaning coming
from the blanket followed by "Draco!" "Harry!") I don't think I can do
this.
(a few moments later Harry and Draco emerge, clothes a little disheveled
and looking very happy)
Dracona: End Scene. Great work today, guys. Same time tomorrow. See ya! (a
groan erupts from the cast of three as Dracona walks out)