Hermione's Memories
***
It has been 7 years since Harry and I graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We live very happily with our little girl named Lily (after Harry's deceased mother), our owl Hedwig and our cat Crookshanks. Lily is already beginning to develop signs of being as powerful as her famous father. Harry Potter (AKA "The boy who lived") is considered to be one of the most powerful wizards of all times and he got this title at age one by fending off a death spell from one of the most evil beings ever, lord Voldemort.
Harry is as complicated as they get, but I don't blame him in the least. I mean, losing his parents when he was only a year old, being raised by a horrible family of muggles, learning his magical heritage at age 11 and having the responsibility of being the famous Harry Potter . . . any of those reasons is enough to make someone a little complex, but a combination of all of them? It's placed a huge weight on his shoulders. Some nights he sleeps like a baby and some nights he's plagued by nightmares, waking up screaming and sweating. All I can do is hold him until he stops shaking. I know what he's seeing (he only told me once, so I don't ask anymore). It's always the same thing: a peaceful family - a dark haired, dark-eyed man and a red-haired, green-eyed woman. They have a beautiful baby boy and the mother is putting him to bed when there is a scream from the man. The door is flung open the mother pleads to spare the baby. A green light engulfs her and the last thing Harry hears is her blood-curdling scream. I can't stand knowing that some nights he relives the horror of his parents' deaths. The dreams have slowed considerably since he finally defeated the dark lord for good, but they still haunt him occasionally. Harry is a ball of emotions (for good reason), but I think I can handle him.
He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I honestly do not know what I would do without him. He has given me a beautiful daughter and a perfect life together. That's all I need. I know I'll be able to deal with the day as long as I wake up and look into those emerald eyes. I love his eyes. Sometimes they can look so sad, but I love knowing that I can make them sparkle again. I also love seeing how great he is with our daughter. Lily is such a wonderful little girl and she loves her Daddy so much.
Lily Potter (the 2nd) is a perfect blend of her parents. She has Harry's deep green eyes and my light brown hair (the fact that it's unruly hair could have come from either of us). She is already a perfectionist like me, and she is just as shy as her father. Lily isn't fond of being singled out when she is in public (an unfortunate gift from her parentage). "Look! There's little Lily Potter! Harry and Hermione's girl!" She'll hide her face against Harry or me whenever someone wants to announce her presence. Harry's used to it. People will still almost break their necks to get a glimpse at the lightning bolt scar on his forehead left behind from fighting Voldemort at such an early age. And that was 24 years ago! But he doesn't think it is fair for his daughter to have to go through the same thing. I agree and I almost hate to take her out for that reason. But Harry and I have decided that we won't live like hermits just because we're a "famous family."
At the moment, I'm sitting on the floor with Lily while she plays with her toy wand. She's already trying to say some spells and charms that she has heard Harry and I use. "Umos! Aseeyo! Wigadia Weviosa!" she is yelling as she pointed the wand at nothing in particular.
"Lily, not quite, sweetie," I gently tell her. "It's 'Lumos,' 'Accio,' and 'Wingardium Leviosa.' You'll get it, pumpkin." I know I don't have to correct her; she's going to be a perfect witch. How can she not be? I don't mean to brag, but I was top in my class at Hogwarts and her father is "the boy who lived," so it's almost expected that Lily will be a powerful witch.
I can only smile as I watch the two most important people in my life - my daughter and my husband. Harry is such a perfect father. Despite the fact that he didn't grow in the ways of wizardry (being with those damn muggles), he knows exactly how to raise little Lily to be a proper witch, one that would be a good student at Hogwarts and a force of good in the world.
Harry is smiling at us both as he watches us play. These moments must be hard for him. I know he loves his family, but I think moments like these make him think of all he missed with his own parents since they were killed that night he became so famous defeating Voldemort.
"Are you ok?" I ask him.
"I'm fine. Just thinking," he says.
"Happy!" Lily cries as she pointed her wand at Harry.
"'Happy'? I'm not sure that's a real spell, princess, but I think it worked," he says as he joins us on the floor. "I'm happier already."
Lily gives him a kiss on the nose and goes back to "charming" things around her.
***
Sometimes I just sit back and think about how lucky I really am. I often think of all the turning points in our lives that brought us to where we are now.
There were so many times where I was sure that I would lose him. During our first year, it was so difficult to let him go on alone to the Sorcerer's Stone, but I knew it had to be him. I would have given anything to have gone with him, but there was only enough potion for him and I knew he'd never let me go anyway. For days, I worried that he wouldn't wake up in the hospital wing. I'd sneak up there and hold his hand, silently praying that he would open those green eyes and smile at me. Finally, after those days of torture, he found Ron and I and my face almost broke with happiness. He was alive! I still couldn't voice my feelings, but it was enough to know he was awake and well.
Our next year was tougher on him. I didn't know what was going on since I was petrified. He told me much later that if I hadn't been cured, his life would have been over. But when he saw me running towards him in the Great Hall, it was like the flood gates had opened for each of us. We were only twelve, but it felt like I had loved him forever as he held me with happiness. It was awfully hard to let go after that, but embarrassment did kick in and we sat to eat.
***
When we were in our fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry and Ron were often talking in secret. They would shut up instantly when I would enter the room and begin again after I would be at the door. I knew what I wanted it to be about, but I doubted it was about me. I mean, why would the great Harry Potter want a Muggle-born girl like me?
One day, I finally cornered Ron in the Gryffindor common room.
"Ok, Weasley, spill. What are you and Harry talking about so much?" I asked.
"Hey! Why is he "Harry" and I'm "Weasley?" he replied, avoiding my question.
"Because I'm talking to you now. Trust me, later he will be "Potter" if need be."
"Look, he's my best friend and I promised that I wouldn't tell," Ron said.
"Ron, you're both my best friends, too. Why wouldn't Harry share the secret with me as well?"
Ron sighed heavily. "Come on, Hermione. Tell me you have some common sense along with your intellegence!"
"What?"
"Maybe he doesn't want you to know because it's about you! Normally, I would take the secret to my grave, but I'm tired of all of it. I want you two to be together because you are so bloody perfect together and he thinks, so too!"
I couldn't breathe for a moment. Harry did . . . like me?
"But, Ron," I began. "If Harry is interested in me, why doesn't he just say so?"
"Don't you think he wants to? Don't you think he's wanted to since our first year? He knows that life is dangerous around him. He's not sure why we're even friends with him. I mean, since we've known him, we've almost died how many times! He knows that there would be a gigantic responsibility to dating "the boy who lived" and not just the social one (though that would be heavy, too). Once it got out that you were dating, you could be a target to get to him. He's terrified of losing you because of his feelings for you."
I was taken aback by Ron's explanation. Ron was a man of few words and hearing this was strange. Not to mention the message of his words. Harry would sacrifice his own happiness for my safety. That was one of the most romantic (and idiotic) things I had ever heard.
"Ok, Ron. Where is Potter? I'm going to kick him in the-"
"Hermione!" Ron reprimanded. "Just remember, he's doing it because he loves you." And with that, Ron walked away.
I just stood there, in utter shock. The boy I had liked since our first year had liked me the whole time as well.
Now what?
*****
The night we finally confessed our feelings was a wonderful one. I tossed myself onto my bed. I just did not know how I got through my last study session with Harry. Transfiguration was my favorite subject and yet I just couldn't concentrate on the topic at hand. I knew why. It was the first time we had studied alone in ages. Since it was Valentine's Day, most of our house was at the ball. I blushed everytime he looked into my eyes. There was no use denying it, I was falling in love … with my best friend. I turned on the wizard wireless. The DJ announced the song as "Can't Fight This Feeling" by Muggles REO Speedwagon. I remembered this song from when I was younger.
I can't fight this feeling any longer
And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow
(I'm so afraid)
What started out as friendship has grown stronger
(I really think it has)
I only wish I had the strength to let it show
(Some Gryffindor courage, huh?)
I tell myself that I can't hold out forever
I say there is no reason for my fear
'Coz I feel so secure when we're together
(I've always felt secure with him - there's no place I feel safer)
You give my life direction, you make everything so clear
And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars forever
'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crashing through your door
(Yeah, Ron and company would love that)
Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore
My life has been such a whirlwind since I saw you
(Ever since I fixed his glasses on the Hogwarts Express)
I've been runnin' around in circles in my mind
And it always seems that I'm following you girl
'Cause you take me to the places that alone I'd never find
(He's been with me through all of my trials and tribulations)
And even as I wander I'm keeping you in sight
You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter's night
And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might
And I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for
It's time to bring this ship into the shore
(Yeah, it's time to end this)
And throw away the oars forever
'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I've started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crashing through your door
Baby I can't fight this feeling anymore
I couldn't believe it. One simple Muggle song summed it all up. I couldn't fight the feelings anymore and I didn't want to. Our friendship was more now.
I had to see him now! I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship, but I had to tell him. I had to see if he was in the Common Room.
When I got there, he was standing alone, looking so disappointed. Was it because I wasn't there? He suddenly turned to me and smiled.
"Harry, I heard this song on the wireless and I -" I began.
"Shh," he said as he placed a finger on my lips. "Just kiss me."
I nodded and he pulled me close. Suddenly, my lips were pressed to his. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced. Our friendship would never be the same but it wasn't a bad thing. Our friendship had blossomed into something beautiful.
We fell onto the couch and began kissing the first of a lifetime of kisses. Once we finally stopped for air, I found the courage to speak first.
"Did you hear the song, too?"
"Yeah, I did. I couldn't believe how well it said everything I wanted to say to you for so long now," Harry admitted.
"Oh, Harry. I've been dying to tell you. I just couldn't find the way to do it."
"It doesn't matter. I think we just told each other everything with that kiss," he said as I began to giggle. He smiled. I knew that smile would always be my weakness. If he was happy, then I would be happy.
"I love you, Harry Potter. Not for your past, not for that bloody scar, but for you. I love you for the way you make me feel. You don't care that I'm a Muggle-born and you never cared about the way I looked, even when it was really bad. I love you for those green eyes that look right through me. And I especially love you for our future together," I said blushing.
Harry took my face into his hands and looked right into my eyes. Oh, those green eyes of his. "And I love you, Hermione Granger. I love you for everything you are. I love you for your intelligence, your beauty, for the way you make me feel like I'm special just as me, not as the famous boy who lived. I can't believe I was so stupid to deny it in the past, but I'm smarter now and I'm telling you that I will love you forever."
We kissed again. This kiss lasted for quite a while until the flash of a camera interrupted us.
"FINALLY!" a chorus of Gryffindors yelled as Harry and I looked up and saw our audience. Colin Creevy had his camera out. He (of course) took the picture.
"Colin, I want a copy of that picture," I said. "It's going on our mantle someday," I said with a smile.
Harry smiled and pulled me close to a round of applause from our Housemates. Fred and George set off fireworks; Ron did a happy dance and even Professor McGonagall, who had come up to yell about the noise, was cheering with the Gryffindors.
True to my words, I still find myself dusting the mantle on which that picture and several others documenting Harry's life and mine sit, each telling a different chapter of our loving story.
***
When my 18th birthday approached, I knew Harry had something up his sleeve and this time, Ron wasn't talking.
"Ron! Just tell me! The suspense is killing me!" I whined.
"Hermione, can't you just deal with one little secret? Your birthday is a week away. Just wait!" he said, annoyed by my constant scrutiny.
"Fine, fine. I'll wait," I sighed.
A week later, Harry took me to a beautiful, candle-lit dinner. He had this nervous look on his face and I began to put the pieces together. He barely spoke through dinner and those eyes of his had a cover of mystery. I almost wondered if he put some spell on them to keep me from making any judgments about their appearance. If there was one thing I was good at, it was reading Harry through his eyes. Those eyes were a dead giveaway every time and he knew it.
Finally, once dinner was almost over, the eyes turned. The spell was lifted and all I saw was determination. I was a little confused at first because his face resembled the same expression he got right before capturing the Snitch in a Quidditch match. What on earth was going through his head? "Just please don't let it actually be Quidditch!" I thought to myself.
"Hermione?" he said in a squeaky voice.
"Yes, Harry?" I replied, hoping to retain some composure to help him keep his.
"I have something I need to ask you."
"Hmm, not 'want to ask you,' but 'need to ask you,'" I thought.
"Ok, ask away," I said.
"Well, you know how much I love you, right?"
"What a foolish question!" I thought again.
"Of course I do. And I love you more than anything," I said aloud.
He smiled apprehensively. "Well, that's why I want to ask you this." There was a long pause before he continued with, "Hermione, will you . . . what I mean is . . ."
His eyes flashed with that Quidditch look again and he stood up. He took a few steps to be closer to me and got down on one knee. He got a little box out of his pocket and showed me the ring inside. It was a beautiful diamond ring.
"Hermione, will you marry me?" he finished.
"Oh, Harry! Of course I will!" I said with tears flowing already.
He rose up and kissed me right there in the restaurant.
Once we regained our senses, we ordered dessert and stared into each other's eyes all night long.
***
Then of course was the day we made it official. Since we both had jobs at Hogwarts, we thought it would be more than appropriate to get married in the Great Hall with Dumbledore officiating. Harry had 7 groomsmen (Sirius and Ron - the best men, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred and George) and I had 7 bridesmaids (Ginny Weasley, Lavender Brown, Bill's wife Gabrielle, Alicia Spinnet, Penelope (Clearwater) Weasley, Angelina (Johnson) Weasley and Katie (Bell) Weasley).
Before the ceremony, I was much more calm than anyone expected. I personally expected to be bouncing off the walls looking for perfection, but I knew it would already be there. I was marrying Harry Potter, the man of my dreams, and that was all that mattered. If I had to make a guess, Harry was probably a wreck. It wasn't that I doubted his love for me; it was just that I knew that his shy and nervous nature was probably taking over. It made me giggle and calmed me down that last little bit.
I looked around my office. It was such a mess, and I could have used a simple charm to just make it clean itself, but I decided that maybe a little messy wasn't so bad. Look at Harry for example. He's probably one of the messiest people I know (just look at that hair - no magic will keep it down), but he's also perfection in my eyes. So, maybe a little mess isn't so bad after all. I stared at the pictures of us on my desk. There were two wizard-pictures of us and it was nice to see us moving and kissing in the pictures, but my favorite was a simple Muggle-picture my mother took of us. We were visiting my parents and were talking on the couch. I was curled up next to him and I just looked up at him. He put his fingers under my chin to lift me up for a kiss when my mother snapped a picture. It's the best picture of us. We just look so in love. And while it's nice to see moving pictures, laughing and smiling, this one simple moment in time is all I need to tell me that Harry is the love of my life.
I wonder what he's up to right now.
I can imagine him and Sirius kidding around in his office. Sirius is probably trying to tease him about his wedding night and Harry is probably 10 shades of red by now. I'm glad he has Sirius. I often feel so bad that he had to grow up with no father figure. Vernon Dursley is no more of a father figure than I am. Plus, until he was 13, he had no magical father figure either, aside from Dumbledore, but Sirius Black is so much more accessible. I'm happy that Harry has that connection now to someone. And it helps that that someone knew Harry's parents. He's constantly grilling Sirius for information about Lily and James and Sirius gladly talks for hours about them.
By now, they were probably talking about Harry's parents and how proud they must be. I know they are. How could they not be? I wish they could be here. He won't confess it, but it bothers him that they can't sit in the front row and watch the ceremony. He can't glance back and see James console Lily as she cries with happiness that her baby boy is getting married. The Weasleys are all he has for that and I know he loves them, but it just isn't the same. Nonetheless, I know that it's my responsibility to take care of him now and I can only hope that I can do James and Lily proud.
My mother walked over to me, but I didn't even notice since I was so deep in thought. She put her hand on my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin.
"Are you ready, sweetheart?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm completely ready. I'm just so happy," I said as the tears began to flow.
"Oh, honey," Mom said as she pulled me into a hug. "You two are going to have such a perfect life together. He loves you more than anything. I can see it in those eyes of his."
"I know, mom. Sometimes I think I can see forever in his eyes."
"You can. It's the forever that you both will share together," my father said as he walked into the room.
"Is it time, Daddy?" I asked.
"Yeah, time to go, princess," he replied.
So it was time to go . . . time to go become Mrs. Harry Potter.
It was a beautiful ceremony. The Great Hall was decked out in white, scarlet and gold -Gryffindors till the end. My father walked me down the aisle while my mother bawled. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley cried as well. It was as if one of their own sons were getting married (plus they were happy to actually have all of their children in one place for once). The Dursleys were not there. No one was surprised about their absence at all and we were actually less tense because of it.
After Dumbledore told Harry he could kiss the bride, I thought Harry was going to faint. A tear rolled down his cheek as he pulled me close to him. I reached up and wiped away the single tear as we shared the most gentle, yet most passionate, kiss of our lives. I knew that as long as he was beside me, my life would be perfect.
As the kiss ended, I looked out and saw all the Gryffindor banners that the first and second years had brought and heard all the cheering and crying. Professor McGonagall was even crying. Then Dumbledore cleared his throat, which always meant he was going to speak.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce the new Mr. and Mrs. Harry and Hermione Potter. Professor Potter, Professor Potter, congratulations," he said as he hugged us both.
"Mrs. Hermione Potter. You know, I think I could get used to that," I thought to myself, as I got lost in those damn green eyes of his.
***
That night was the most wonderful night of my life. It was awkward at times, sure. I mean, it was the first time for both of us and we laughed a lot. But that's what's so great about us. We can just laugh with each other, no matter what. I am so comfortable with him that even my hair getting stuck in his glasses during what should have been a very passionate moment, was fine. It was just the way Harry and I am. It didn't ruin the mood, it just made it lighter. I knew Harry was afraid of hurting me, but I simply asked him to go slowly and everything would be fine. That was the beauty of Harry. He would have stopped completely, right in the middle of everything, if I had asked him to. I wouldn't have asked him to though. Eleven years had brought us to this point and I wanted it as much as he did. After a night of lovemaking, I knew that I was complete. I had Harry by my side - my hero, my best friend, my lover, my husband. What more did I need?
I knew life would get dangerous. The dark lord was still out there then, but it didn't matter. We could handle whatever life threw at us. All I'll ever want is for him to be the last thing before I fall asleep and the first thing I see when I wake up. I could have shouted it from the roof of Gryffindor Tower. "I love Harry Potter and I always will!"