Chapter 6
Pick Up Sticks
Early June
The rain was lightly hitting the windshield as Eric and Donna were
driving to Point Place to see Kitty and Red. Kitty told Donna on the phone they needed to discuss something very important over Sunday dinner and it had nothing to do with the wedding or Steven and Eric.
"I've got a bad feeling about this,"
Eric said not meaning to quote Star Wars, but it was true he did have a bad feeling about this. With all of the planning Kitty and couldn't be bothered all he had to do was show up Red—and it had nothing to do with the futile plan of getting two former best friends back together—Eric did have a terrible feeling about the whole thing. —What if one of his parents was sick? The last time he saw them they looked fine—infact Red who was a few years older than Donna's Father looked younger and was more active. Kitty was still an active person, too—Granted neither one of them could climb Mount Everest but neither could he and Donna.
"What if there's something wrong with Mom or Dad?"
"Eric," Donna put her hand on his knee, "You have the knack to worry about things that aren't there. We just saw them last week and they were fine. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."
"Poor little naïve but super hot Donna," Eric sighed turning the steering wheel, "We're talking about Red and Kitty Forman when is there ever nothing to worry about?"
"I swear if he gets twitchy or cries I'm going downstairs to watch the James Bond marathon on TNT."* Red said frustrated.
"You'll do no such thing, Red." 'How can that possibly help his recovery?' Kitty thought.
Kitty and Red did not know about Eric and Hyde's fight in New York City nor Eric's relapse. Everyone thought it was best not to tell them. Red almost disowned his own son once and no one wanted to put Kitty through that heartache—but as a retired nurse she knew all about the possibility of Eric relapsing. Red's attitude concerning his son was not going to help in the matter.
"Recovery is bull****." Red definitely favored the foot in the ass approach whether he was shortchanged in the supermarket check out line or dealing with his dumb ass son who decided at age 38 to develop a Cocaine habit.
"And that's why your son barely talks to you about anything other than the weather or his job." Kitty fanned the magazines that no one was really going to read anyway on the coffee table as she waited for the kids to arrive.
This Town Holds No More For Me
Over the roast and potatoes Kitty decided to bring the subject up knowing that Red wouldn't handle it with tact and gentleness.
"What is it, Mom?" Eric asked pushing his plate away, he couldn't eat anymore.
At that moment even Donna had to admit this was going to be big news and maybe something to worry about after all.
"We're selling the house—" Kitty was relieved to get it out.
"What?!" Eric replied
"We're moving to Florida." Red added
"What?!" Eric asked again
Kitty and Red went into their reasons such, as they were both retired, no more harsh Wisconsin winters, and that he and Laurie were grown and with him in St Louis and Laurie a rare visitor they didn't need to be in Point Place anymore, and selling the house even if they had to take a loss would give them some extra money as social security and pensions were hardly a drop in the bucket in today's economy.
"That's just great," Eric stood up, "Really great." He went upstairs and into his old room.
"Eric," Donna opened the door, "It's not as bad as you think."
He was lying on the bed looking at the ceiling.
"It's not?" He didn't want to tell her that if there was a Coke line stretching from New York to LA and back again he'd have done it right then and there.
"If moving to Florida makes your parents happy maybe we should support them?"
"Donna-whose side are you on?"
"Eric, there's no sides to be on you're acting like a baby."
"That's so typical of you to say." 'Ouch, I shouldn't have said that' he thought.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You had your Father sell his house just to be vindictive." Eric sat up. He didn't want to fight with her.
"Excuse me?" Although it was true they weren't together then—but she wasn't doing it to be vindictive. She thought it would help the situation and expedite their divorce not to mention that Chicago had more senior citizen groups for her Father.
"Yeah?"
"I didn't have my Dad sell the house to hurt you more. I thought it would help matters and make our divorce go more smoothly. I love you, you jackass!"
Donna tried to remember they were getting remarried next month and she did love him skinny build, annoying Star Wars fetish, and all.
Eric faced her, "I love you, too, Donna! So why are we fighting?"
"Tell me, Eric."
"Lay with me," he asked—the urge there just waiting for one of his trigger points to completely go off like it did the last time. "I don't want to go back downstairs right now."
"Sure." Donna wondered was he fighting the urge to get high? She didn't want to bring the subject up if she didn't have to.
They fell asleep in each other's arms.
New York City
While Hyde was teaching Tiffany how to ride her bike in Central Park Jackie was trying to get to Donna on the phone. No answer.
"Hello, Donna. It's me Jackie, again. How can we plan this wedding properly if you aren't accepting calls? Tear yourself away from the scrawny boy for one second and call back when you can."
Jackie and Mrs. Forman were planning this wedding and Donna seemed to go along with their ideas. Except the dress she didn't know what she wanted to do with the dress-Donna only said she wanted it to be special. She went in the kitchen to get an iced tea and wait for Steven and Tiffany to come back. She would have went to the park with them but she wanted them to bond with each other. The first night when they were all back in the apartment after Jackie came back with Tiffany from St. Louis it was tense for the five year old. But Steven was patient and read to her that night and told her he would never do anything to frighten her again.
Her phone rang. Finally! It'd better be Donna.
"Hi, Jackie," Donna yawned she and Eric just woke up, it wasn't their intent to fall asleep it just sort of happened, "What did you want?"
"You sound tired."
"I am—but it's not because I'm 40."
"I got my new issue of Bride's magazine and I wanted to fax you some pictures—but your machine isn't on."
"Oh, sorry. Can't you just email them?"
"I tried that. Your mailbox was full—and I didn't want to send them to Eric's address because it'll ruin the surprise."
"We had a fight," Donna sighed, "But we're okay now." Eric was downstairs probably talking to his Mother about the move.
"What about?" It didn't take long for them two to fight. That made Jackie sad. It was one thing for them to have arguments over Eric's Coke dependence but over anything else and it worried her.
"Kitty and Red are selling the house and moving to Florida and Eric is pissed about it."
"I can understand that. There are a lot of memories attached to that house especially the basement, for all of us. Did you tell Eric that?"
"No." Donna didn't think she had to.
"Maybe you should. Guess who phoned me the other day?"
"Who?" Donna asked hoping the answer wasn't "Kelso".
"Pam Macy!" Point Place High's own resident sl**.
"Why?"
"Because she's lonely now, divorced with three kids living in Pittsburgh- and is under the impression we were friends. So, I'll send her some cosmetic samples to make her day. She told me Point Place High is going to be demolished and they're going to build a new modern high school not far from the interstate."
"Oh great—Eric's not going to take that well, either." Donna sighed.
"You knew Eric always had a sentimental side."
'When he wasn't being a sexist moron' Donna thought. "Yeah, I know— that's one of the traits I love about him. How are you and Hyde doing?"
Donna had to change the subject.
"Great. You'd have thought he'd have fought to keep us apart—like how he might have in the past, but he didn't. I do believe and you cannot tell another living soul this—I think Steven wanted to be rescued."
That was a difficult image for Donna to picture.
"Jackie, I have to go. Tell Hyde and Tiffany I said 'hi'. And when I get home I'll put my fax machine on. See ya."
"Bye, Donna." Jackie noticed a worry in her voice that didn't seem to be there even when Eric relapsed. She hoped Donna was all right.
Donna went down the stairs as Eric was walking upstairs. He was carrying a folded newspaper under his arm.
"I'll spare you my melodramatics and won't tell you what I read in the paper." Eric walked by her and back to his room.
Which wouldn't be his room much longer. Even though he had his own apartment there was something comforting about knowing if God forbid something ever happened you had your safety net of your childhood bedroom. Kitty told Eric over marble cake and herbal tea that they weren't going to put the house on the market until after the wedding. That didn't make him feel better. What was happening to the little town he grew up in?
"Oh, you found out about Point Place High." Donna turned around and followed Eric back to his room.
"How did you find out?"
"Jackie told me on the phone just now. She found out from Pam Macy."
"I know you don't think it's a big deal, Donna—so I won't bother you by freaking out." He sat at his desk and unfolded the paper.
"Eric, it's not like I don't care. But these things happen."
Eric stood up, "These things happen? Maybe in other towns, but this is Point Place, Wisconsin. Our school is going to be torn down by a wrecking ball to build some ugly modernist structure off the interstate. Which makes me wonder what they are going to put in that empty lot? That's another reason why my parents have to sell—the property taxes are going up, The Hub is now a Starbucks, Pricemart is gone, Halverson's department store went out of business two years ago and is now a mini mall—and the crux of it all-Is that there never will be proof that the Forman's and Pinciotti's even lived next store. It will be as if WE never existed. Tell me that doesn't bother you, Donna."
Donna hugged Eric, "But we have each other," She kissed him lightly on the lips, "You have to remember the kids who hang at Starbucks to them that is their Hub. The first Freshman class to enter the new high school won't give a f*** about Point Place High—Come on, let's go for a drive. I brought my camera." She didn't want to tell Eric that it did sadden her about other people living in their houses. It still bothered her a bit about the new owners, but nothing could be done about it. It was hard to fathom this house not belonging to Kitty and Red Forman. With the sounds of Red yelling and the scents of Kitty's cooking. The basement—the circle: Eric, Donna, Hyde, Jackie, Kelso, and Fez.
"Fine. Make sure you take a picture of the Welcome to Point Place sign in the town center before they take that away, too." Eric replied sadly.
He Ain't Heavy
Jackie woke up to Hyde kissing her.
"Hey," She smiled, he tasted like chocolate ice cream, "How was your day?"
"Cool," Hyde replied letting himself be happy, Jackie was determined to knock down the rest of his Great Wall of Hyde, "Tiffany has a surprise for you."
"Close your eyes, Mommy!" She called from the next room
"Okay—what are you two up to?"
"You'll see." Hyde led her to the living room area
"Open them."
Jackie smiled when she saw Tiffany in a little made to order jean jacket and youth sized tinted sunglasses.
"You're so cute!" Jackie beamed
"Whatever," Tiffany replied giggling
Jackie picked her up and hugged her, "I thought you two were bike riding?"
"We were," Hyde replied, "Then I figured someone's got to teach this girl all about being Zen."
"That's cool." Tiffany said in her Mother's shoulder
Jackie smiled and kissed her on the head, "Why don't you go wash up, okay, sweetie?"
"Uh..okay, Mommy. But I like being dirty! It's fun!"
Jackie put her down so she could go to her room.
"You're awesome, Steven." She put her arms around him and pulled him close.
"Whatever."
"You're not doing that with me anymore." And she kissed him tight on the lips.
"I love you, Jackie." Hyde replied, whispering in her ear.
"I know. That's cool."
Eric's birthday (Author's note, I know the writer's made them one month apart but I'm changing it for the sake of the plot)
12:00 AM
"Wha-t the---" Eric woke up to the smell of honey and almonds on his face.
"Happy Birthday, Eric." Donna kissed him as she continued to massage the sticky scrub she purchased from Jackie on his face.
"Can I ask what you're doing?"
"Making you pretty," she laughed. She dipped a washcloth in a bowl of water that she had set on the end table.
"Hmm, being 40 isn't so bad." Eric replied as Donna wiped the sticky concoction off his face.
"Eric you ain't seen nothing yet!" Donna giggled as she kissed him full this time.
'Oh—my—she never—only twice in all the time------God' Eric's eyes fluttered as Donna gave him phase one of his birthday present.
12:40 AM
"I love you." Eric replied after his birthday sex. That wasn't the reason why he loved Donna—she knew that. She was the only constant he had.
"I love you, too. I guess we should go to bed now for real. If we're going to go to your parents house we're going to have to leave early."
"Are we taking your car this time?" Eric asked
"As a matter of fact we are." Donna tried to keep a straight face even though they were in the dark; she didn't want Eric to see her facial expression. It would ruin phase two of his birthday present.
"Good. Because I think my battery is going to die soon. The engines making noise."
"You can take it to the mechanic when we get back," Donna yawned, it was one fantastic yet tiring night. She put her head on Eric's chest.
"I hope you liked your birthday so far."
"Are you kidding? It is like the best fortieth birthday ever!" After all these years and their trials and tribulations he could still make her laugh.
She wondered why she almost let it all go before falling asleep, her head buried in his chest.
Later that day:
"Mom—you're crushing me." Kitty lavished Eric with hugs and kisses. Her baby was forty years old! She was happy and sad at the same time. She was grateful that he was here to celebrate it.
"It's not every day my baby turns forty!" Kitty gushed
It was just a small gathering in the Forman house-Kitty, Red, and
Donna. Laurie made an excuse but Kitty knew that's what it was an excuse. She probably protested not coming to Eric's birthday party because she was being forced to attend to the wedding.
"Congratulations, son." Red was going to shake his son's hand but wound up giving him a hug. Deep down he did love the dumbass after all. It was a given.
"Before we have our cake, I'd like everyone to go outside." Said Donna
"Oh, this is about your present!" Kitty smiled and clapped.
"Eric, close your eyes." Donna said, holding his hand leading him, Kitty, and Red to the backyard.
"I know what it is!" Kitty squealed—Red didn't, he fell asleep watching TV when it was delivered.
"Can I open my eyes now?"
Donna flicked the switch from the remote control as she told Eric to open his eyes as the garage door opened.
"Oh my god! Is this for me?!" It was a vintage 1987 navy blue Corvette. She threw him the keys.
"I love it, Donna!" He kissed her on the lips, "Come on, let's go for a drive around the block."
"I'll get the cake ready for when you two come back." Kitty replied.
"Very nice car, son." Red still missed his vintage Corvette. His son was one lucky bastard indeed.
"Wow! This car is awesome, Donna! You didn't have to---How much did this cost you---?"
"Eric, shut up and drive."
"My lady got me a Corvette! This is too cool!"
When they got to a stop sign, Eric noticed a brown envelope sticking out from the visor.
"What's this?"
"Phase three of your birthday present."
They had the road to themselves so no one cared how long they stayed at the stop sign.
"Donna, you didn't have to go to all this----"
"Eric, open it."
"Tickets? For the 1st annual Star Wars convention for the greater St. Louis area, I've always wanted to go to one of these! Donna, you rule!" He went to hug his fiancée and was pulled back by his seatbelt.
He undid the belt and kissed her on the lips, "Thank you, Donna, this is one great birthday!"
"You're welcome, Eric." Donna undid her seatbelt and put her hands on his shoulders. "I wanted to make this day extra special because there was a chance we could've lost you."
"I know," Eric replied putting his head down, "I'm sorry."
Donna raised his chin with her hand, "I know."
"Hey, that's almost like Leia and Han---"
"Eric—NO MORE STAR WARS!" Donna pretended to be angry.
"You love it, Donna, or you wouldn't have purchased these tickets! Can I get you to dr---"
"No." He wanted them to dress up as Han Solo and Princess Leia for their first wedding. It took forever to talk him out of that one.
"Please?" He asked like he was four and wanted candy instead of 40 and wanting to dress up with his fiancée in Star Wars costumes at an actual Star Wars convention.
"No."
"Okay—if you repeat phase one of my birthday present!"
Donna laughed, "We'll see Eric, it depends on how naughty you are."
Another car was finally behind them at the stop sign and beeped its horn.
"Hey, who told that dill hole to come by and ruin our fun?" Eric mocked a disappointed face.
"Well, we should be getting back anyway, your Mom baked a cake for you."
Eric and Donna were a little disappointed to hear what was about to come out of the mouths of the younger driver and their adolescent passengers behind them.
"Come on, you OLD people, we haven't got all day!"
"When did we become old people?" Eric and Donna replied to themselves in unison.
Kids Today!
Two weeks later
Eric with one eye open hit the snooze bar and tried to go back to sleep but was distracted by Donna throwing things in a bag.
"Good you're up!" Donna said, kissing him on the cheek and going back to her packing.
"In more ways than one," Eric groaned, "Um—going somewhere?" Eric stretched in the bed. What time was it? He was never a morning person.
"Jackie called and wants me and your Mom to spend the day in New York. On the private jet—and Hyde has to work with some band that he "owed a favor to"—so Jackie wants to know will you babysit Tiffany?"
Eric wasn't in the mood today to be fun, cool "Uncle" Eric—but he did like Tiffany so he wasn't going to say no, but he hated how this came up at the last minute.
"Okay, what time do we leave for New York?" Eric sat up in bed.
"You don't leave for anywhere. Jackie's bringing Tiffany here." Donna playfully pushed him back down.
"Good. Then I'm going back to bed."
"Uh, you can't do that, Eric."
"Why?" he buried his head in his pillow.
"Because they're coming in like twenty minutes."
Eric forced himself up. "And when did you find out about all this?"
"Earlier this morning when Jackie woke ME up! I was nice letting you sleep."
"Donna—"
"What?"
He looked at her and she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him. The kind of beauty that inspired songs to begin with classic FM guitar riffs and end with an elegant, well designed piano end piece.
"I love you."
Donna kissed him on the lips, "That's sweet, now get dressed."
He could only smile back at her.
Later:
Jackie, Donna, and Kitty were having lunch at the Four Seasons hotel after a marathon session of shopping and dealing with wedding consultants. Donna didn't see a point with wedding consultants. Why did you need to pay someone else good money to tell you what you needed to make your wedding day special? She still didn't know what to do with her dress and didn't know why she was making it a big issue. A light rain was hitting the windows as the shoppers, famous people trying to go incognito in Ray-Bans, tourists with cameras draped over their necks, and homeless people begging for loose change across the street.
"Donna, hello! Did you hear any word I said?" Jackie asked putting her fork over her salad plate.
"No."
"What's wrong, dear? Did you and Eric have a fight?" Kitty asked getting quite relaxed on the chardonnay.
"No. Just wedding jitters, I guess."
"Wedding jitters? Donna this is your second time marrying Eric. How can you have jitters? Now—this is my first time marrying Steven...I should be the one---"
Donna rolled her eyes, not meaning to start an argument, "Jackie-Christ. The world does not revolve around you and Hyde."
Jackie looked back at her with hurt eyes.
"I'm sorry," Donna replied, "I didn't mean that."
"Okay...no fighting girls. It's bad enough my two boys won't speak to each other—The both of you are nervous. Hmm, this bottles empty. You'll have to order another one for the table, Jackie."
Donna thought that would have been funnier if it didn't hit her at that very moment where Eric got his addictive personality from.
"I think you had enough, Mrs. Forman." Donna said
"Let's get you some coffee." Jackie replied, trying not to let Donna's comment bother her, she did apologize after she said it, but it still hurt.
Back in St. Louis
"Were you scared?" Eric asked Tiffany after they went up the Gateway Arch.
"No! Were you scared, Eric?"
He laughed. "No," Then he thought if he was five, he might have been crying clinging to Kitty while Red yelled at him telling him to suck it up, be a man, and stop crying. "You want to buy some souvenirs for your Mommy?"
"Yeah!"
"The malls underground, it's really awesome."
"I have my own credit card!"
"You do?" Jackie's bank gave special junior credit cards for the children of wealthy and connected parents. It only had a credit limit of fifty dollars but when you are five years it old it feels like a million.
"Yeah—I have FIFTY dollars! Plus the paper money Mommy gave me!"
'Paper Money' laughed Eric. When he was five he was lucky if he had two shiny new quarters to rub together. Let alone a credit card with a fifty dollar limit and paper money. 'Money from your Grandmother...it's going right in the bank so you don't waste it on garbage!' Red would yell over the Christmas Yule log on television.
"Wow. Maybe, I should buy Donna a present, too?" Eric asked Tiffany, holding her hand in the crowd.
"Buy her a ring pop!" Tiffany suggested.
"That may not be a bad idea." Eric smiled like a five year old on a mission. It was at that moment that his cell phone rang it was probably Donna saying how much she missed his body.
A few hours later:
Hyde was on a plane back to New York City after having spent a wasted afternoon in Boston. He was a man of his word and was happy he only had to do one track instead of a whole album. He wanted to get away from the music business for awhile. Jackie left a message saying she was taking Donna and Mrs. Forman to a play and that Mrs. Forman had gotten a little tipsy at lunch and they had to pour the coffee in her. Hyde laughed, good for Mrs. Forman. She deserved to go off every once in awhile. He threw his keys on the desk and he felt that he wasn't alone in the apartment. Was Forman here with Tiffany? He knew Jackie went to St. Louis to drop Tiffany off earlier.
"Steven Hyde—" Enter a Fortune 500 man in a Seville Row suit putting his golf clubs against the wall.
'Oh f**' Hyde thought 'Jackie's ex-husband. Forman would have been better'.
"You are?"
"Bradley Worthington," he sized him up and couldn't believe Jackie loved this low-life. "Before you even think about marrying my ex-wife—we're going to have a little talk."
"Don't talk down to me you son of a bitch. "
"Dealing with people you don't like through violence--must have been that trailer park upbringing."
Hyde tried hard not to lose it for Jackie and Tiffany's sake.
"Say what you came to say then you can leave."
"You forget whose apartment this is. Jackie may have gotten it in the divorce settlement, but it's mine. And so is that private jet."
"Are you here to declare ownership?"
"As a matter of fact, I am."
"Go on." Hyde was losing his cool with every sentence.
"I found out that you plan on adopting Tiffany after you marry Jackie. You don't want to do that," 'He's going to buy me off' "I think this is a fair amount."
He presented Hyde a personal check for two hundred thousand dollars.
"I don't want your f***ing money!" Hyde ripped the check and threw it in Brad's face.
"Take the money or you will leave me with no alternative but to stop it legally. Because I'm not about to let my daughter become Tiffany Hyde."
"You don't love Tiffany. You might buy her expensive things, but you don't spend real time with her. You're a terrible influence on her and I have news for you if you think your money can buy your daughter's love. You are an arrogant son of a bitch."
"Jackie always had a penchant for low lives. I don't want you adopting my daughter---You are scum--if Jackie wants you, I could care less—infact the more I think about it the more I should file for custody of Tiffany that way you will have no influence on her at all."
"F*** you! Hyde would be a great Father!" 'Forman? Where did he come from?' Before anyone could react to anything Eric did the old Jeff Gillooly on Brad with one his precious five irons.
"Get up!"
"You bastard!" Brad looked up at Eric. Eric had received a phone call that he had to take Tiffany back on the private jet and he didn't want to put her on the plane alone even though there would be sweet attendant to make sure her every need would be taken care of. But not her emotional needs and Eric knew she'd have cried if he didn't accompany her. She wanted to sleep with her Barbie headphones on because Jackie wasn't there and didn't like her sleeping with headphones on—and Eric who felt so jet lagged fell asleep on the guest bed waiting for Donna, his Mother, and Jackie to return.
"No! You are the bastard! Hyde loves your daughter! You probably will shove her off to some Swiss boarding school. You are just jealous that he'll be the better Father—and that Tiffany loves him and doesn't love you!"
Forman defending Hyde? Did Hell suddenly freeze over? Were pigs flying?
"Brad, what in the hell are you doing here?" Jackie didn't help him up but noticed the golf club in Eric's hand.
"Eric, what the hell?" Donna said, trying to piece together why Jackie's ex-husband was on the floor clutching his knee and Eric was holding one Brad's golf clubs. Before throwing it down on the floor.
"He said some uncalled for things! I'm going for a walk." ('but I'm not going to get high' he whispered in Donna's ear.) Going right passed his Mother.
"What did you say, Bradley? Steven what's going on?" Jackie asked
Kitty noticed the torn check on the floor.
"I'll tell you in private." Hyde retreated to the kitchen.
"I should f***ing sue your friend!" No one was helping him up, even Kitty the retired nurse.
"I'm not chancing it, I'm going to catch up to Eric." Donna replied.
Eric got as far as the lobby.
"What happened?" asked Donna, happy that he wasn't wandering around aimlessly. She put her hand on his shoulder.
"Tiffany and I were having a good time. We went inside the Arch. and while we were on our way shopping I got a call from some guy named Phil from JFK—and---I really don't want to talk about this. I'm just glad Tiffany had her music on and didn't hear any of it. I got you a present."
Eric pulled a cherry ring pop out of his pocket.
"A ring pop? Wow! The last time you got me one, we were seven years old!"
"It was Tiffany's idea."
"Aw....How cute—Wait a minute---were you defending Hyde?"
Eric put his hands in his trouser pockets, "Donna—I don't---It just sort of happened—Hyde was just letting that pompous jerk talk down to him—and I—don't want to talk about this."
He turned to go back inside. His Mother was probably worried sick.
"He said what?! I should go in there and finish the other knee!" Jackie said. Brad had some nerve "and Eric---"
"I don't want to talk about it, Jackie." Hyde said finishing his beer.
"Oh, I left Mrs. Forman in the living room alone, I'm a bad host! We'll talk about this later, Steven you can bet on it." She kissed him on the lips, and he realized why he didn't hit the ass****.
"I'm going to you use your office for a bit, okay?"
"Steven, it's our office." Jackie reminded.
Brad made it to one of the chairs in the living room as Kitty came back from checking on Tiffany.
"You're leaving." Jackie said—she didn't know how they were going to do deal with the adoption situation but right now she wanted her ex out of her apartment.
"I'm in pain."
"Too bad. My attorney will call your attorney. Now get out!"
Donna and Eric were re-entering Jackie's apartment while she was kicking out Brad.
"You want me to throw him in the elevator?" Eric quipped.
"Do that and I will sue you, " Brad mumbled.
"Shut up!" Jackie said pushing him into the elevator. Let James the doorman handle throwing him in a taxi.
"Thank god that dill hole is gone." Eric replied sitting on the sofa.
"Are you all right, Eric?" asked Kitty
"Yes, I'm fine."
"Come on—Mrs. Forman and Donna lets go the pharmacy and gift shop downstairs."
'I know what you're doing. Please don't' Eric thought.
"Yes, that's a very good idea!" Kitty laughed as she kissed her son on the cheek.
'Well, I'm just going to stay here on the sofa'
"Yeah, we'll be back later." Donna kissed Eric to wipe the smirk off his face.
Twenty minutes later
Hyde poured the root beer over the vanilla ice cream and put a straw in the small Disneyworld mug for Tiffany.
"Thank you, Steven!"
"You're welcome."
"Doesn't Eric want a root beer float?" He was trying to do the New York Times crossword in ink.
"Why don't you ask him?" Hyde had trouble processing all this—what they were supposed to be friends now because Eric whacked Brad in the knee with a golf club and said he'd be a great Father?
"Okay," Tiffany left her mug on the counter and ran to the living room to Eric. "Hi, Eric."
"Hi."
"Do you want a root beer float? Steven made me one. They're good!"
"No thanks, sweetie." Eric could eat her up, she was so cute.
"Are you two still mad with each other? I hear Mommy talking to Donna on the phone!" She asked Eric with wide eyes. She liked Steven and Eric. She wanted them to be friends. Her Mommy showed her pictures of when they were all younger. She said Hyde and Eric were best friends, they knew each other before she knew them. That made Tiffany sad she wanted them to be best friends again.
Eric put the paper down and stood up, holding Tiffany's hand as they walked to the kitchen together. Hyde was checking his voice mail when Eric came in with Tiffany. She went back to her root beer float.
"Hyde," Eric began. He didn't know what he was going to say.
"Eric," Hyde interrupted him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what Eric had to say. He watched Tiffany take the straw out of her mug and took her spoon with her initial "T" engraved on the handle to scoop out the ice cream. She looked at them with hopeful eyes.
Eric went over the refrigerator and took out a can of soda. Unsure of what was going to happen between him and Hyde. He was only sure of one thing at the moment. "He," Eric started to say referring to Brad, he didn't want to say his name with Tiffany present. Thankfully she had her music on and didn't know what went on today.
He knew Donna, His Mom, and Jackie only went downstairs so they could make up. Guy's friendships were different than women's friendships it wasn't as simple as that-leave the room and come back and everything is fixed. It just wasn't as simple as that.
"He was out of line," Eric replied nervously as he lightly shook his soda can, "He was out of line about you. That's all." Eric walked back into the living room waiting for Donna to return.
"Do you like Eric now?" Tiffany asked, slurping the bottom part of the float with her straw.
"Remember what I taught you, Tiffany? Yeah, he's cool."
Early June
The rain was lightly hitting the windshield as Eric and Donna were
driving to Point Place to see Kitty and Red. Kitty told Donna on the phone they needed to discuss something very important over Sunday dinner and it had nothing to do with the wedding or Steven and Eric.
"I've got a bad feeling about this,"
Eric said not meaning to quote Star Wars, but it was true he did have a bad feeling about this. With all of the planning Kitty and couldn't be bothered all he had to do was show up Red—and it had nothing to do with the futile plan of getting two former best friends back together—Eric did have a terrible feeling about the whole thing. —What if one of his parents was sick? The last time he saw them they looked fine—infact Red who was a few years older than Donna's Father looked younger and was more active. Kitty was still an active person, too—Granted neither one of them could climb Mount Everest but neither could he and Donna.
"What if there's something wrong with Mom or Dad?"
"Eric," Donna put her hand on his knee, "You have the knack to worry about things that aren't there. We just saw them last week and they were fine. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about."
"Poor little naïve but super hot Donna," Eric sighed turning the steering wheel, "We're talking about Red and Kitty Forman when is there ever nothing to worry about?"
"I swear if he gets twitchy or cries I'm going downstairs to watch the James Bond marathon on TNT."* Red said frustrated.
"You'll do no such thing, Red." 'How can that possibly help his recovery?' Kitty thought.
Kitty and Red did not know about Eric and Hyde's fight in New York City nor Eric's relapse. Everyone thought it was best not to tell them. Red almost disowned his own son once and no one wanted to put Kitty through that heartache—but as a retired nurse she knew all about the possibility of Eric relapsing. Red's attitude concerning his son was not going to help in the matter.
"Recovery is bull****." Red definitely favored the foot in the ass approach whether he was shortchanged in the supermarket check out line or dealing with his dumb ass son who decided at age 38 to develop a Cocaine habit.
"And that's why your son barely talks to you about anything other than the weather or his job." Kitty fanned the magazines that no one was really going to read anyway on the coffee table as she waited for the kids to arrive.
This Town Holds No More For Me
Over the roast and potatoes Kitty decided to bring the subject up knowing that Red wouldn't handle it with tact and gentleness.
"What is it, Mom?" Eric asked pushing his plate away, he couldn't eat anymore.
At that moment even Donna had to admit this was going to be big news and maybe something to worry about after all.
"We're selling the house—" Kitty was relieved to get it out.
"What?!" Eric replied
"We're moving to Florida." Red added
"What?!" Eric asked again
Kitty and Red went into their reasons such, as they were both retired, no more harsh Wisconsin winters, and that he and Laurie were grown and with him in St Louis and Laurie a rare visitor they didn't need to be in Point Place anymore, and selling the house even if they had to take a loss would give them some extra money as social security and pensions were hardly a drop in the bucket in today's economy.
"That's just great," Eric stood up, "Really great." He went upstairs and into his old room.
"Eric," Donna opened the door, "It's not as bad as you think."
He was lying on the bed looking at the ceiling.
"It's not?" He didn't want to tell her that if there was a Coke line stretching from New York to LA and back again he'd have done it right then and there.
"If moving to Florida makes your parents happy maybe we should support them?"
"Donna-whose side are you on?"
"Eric, there's no sides to be on you're acting like a baby."
"That's so typical of you to say." 'Ouch, I shouldn't have said that' he thought.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"You had your Father sell his house just to be vindictive." Eric sat up. He didn't want to fight with her.
"Excuse me?" Although it was true they weren't together then—but she wasn't doing it to be vindictive. She thought it would help the situation and expedite their divorce not to mention that Chicago had more senior citizen groups for her Father.
"Yeah?"
"I didn't have my Dad sell the house to hurt you more. I thought it would help matters and make our divorce go more smoothly. I love you, you jackass!"
Donna tried to remember they were getting remarried next month and she did love him skinny build, annoying Star Wars fetish, and all.
Eric faced her, "I love you, too, Donna! So why are we fighting?"
"Tell me, Eric."
"Lay with me," he asked—the urge there just waiting for one of his trigger points to completely go off like it did the last time. "I don't want to go back downstairs right now."
"Sure." Donna wondered was he fighting the urge to get high? She didn't want to bring the subject up if she didn't have to.
They fell asleep in each other's arms.
New York City
While Hyde was teaching Tiffany how to ride her bike in Central Park Jackie was trying to get to Donna on the phone. No answer.
"Hello, Donna. It's me Jackie, again. How can we plan this wedding properly if you aren't accepting calls? Tear yourself away from the scrawny boy for one second and call back when you can."
Jackie and Mrs. Forman were planning this wedding and Donna seemed to go along with their ideas. Except the dress she didn't know what she wanted to do with the dress-Donna only said she wanted it to be special. She went in the kitchen to get an iced tea and wait for Steven and Tiffany to come back. She would have went to the park with them but she wanted them to bond with each other. The first night when they were all back in the apartment after Jackie came back with Tiffany from St. Louis it was tense for the five year old. But Steven was patient and read to her that night and told her he would never do anything to frighten her again.
Her phone rang. Finally! It'd better be Donna.
"Hi, Jackie," Donna yawned she and Eric just woke up, it wasn't their intent to fall asleep it just sort of happened, "What did you want?"
"You sound tired."
"I am—but it's not because I'm 40."
"I got my new issue of Bride's magazine and I wanted to fax you some pictures—but your machine isn't on."
"Oh, sorry. Can't you just email them?"
"I tried that. Your mailbox was full—and I didn't want to send them to Eric's address because it'll ruin the surprise."
"We had a fight," Donna sighed, "But we're okay now." Eric was downstairs probably talking to his Mother about the move.
"What about?" It didn't take long for them two to fight. That made Jackie sad. It was one thing for them to have arguments over Eric's Coke dependence but over anything else and it worried her.
"Kitty and Red are selling the house and moving to Florida and Eric is pissed about it."
"I can understand that. There are a lot of memories attached to that house especially the basement, for all of us. Did you tell Eric that?"
"No." Donna didn't think she had to.
"Maybe you should. Guess who phoned me the other day?"
"Who?" Donna asked hoping the answer wasn't "Kelso".
"Pam Macy!" Point Place High's own resident sl**.
"Why?"
"Because she's lonely now, divorced with three kids living in Pittsburgh- and is under the impression we were friends. So, I'll send her some cosmetic samples to make her day. She told me Point Place High is going to be demolished and they're going to build a new modern high school not far from the interstate."
"Oh great—Eric's not going to take that well, either." Donna sighed.
"You knew Eric always had a sentimental side."
'When he wasn't being a sexist moron' Donna thought. "Yeah, I know— that's one of the traits I love about him. How are you and Hyde doing?"
Donna had to change the subject.
"Great. You'd have thought he'd have fought to keep us apart—like how he might have in the past, but he didn't. I do believe and you cannot tell another living soul this—I think Steven wanted to be rescued."
That was a difficult image for Donna to picture.
"Jackie, I have to go. Tell Hyde and Tiffany I said 'hi'. And when I get home I'll put my fax machine on. See ya."
"Bye, Donna." Jackie noticed a worry in her voice that didn't seem to be there even when Eric relapsed. She hoped Donna was all right.
Donna went down the stairs as Eric was walking upstairs. He was carrying a folded newspaper under his arm.
"I'll spare you my melodramatics and won't tell you what I read in the paper." Eric walked by her and back to his room.
Which wouldn't be his room much longer. Even though he had his own apartment there was something comforting about knowing if God forbid something ever happened you had your safety net of your childhood bedroom. Kitty told Eric over marble cake and herbal tea that they weren't going to put the house on the market until after the wedding. That didn't make him feel better. What was happening to the little town he grew up in?
"Oh, you found out about Point Place High." Donna turned around and followed Eric back to his room.
"How did you find out?"
"Jackie told me on the phone just now. She found out from Pam Macy."
"I know you don't think it's a big deal, Donna—so I won't bother you by freaking out." He sat at his desk and unfolded the paper.
"Eric, it's not like I don't care. But these things happen."
Eric stood up, "These things happen? Maybe in other towns, but this is Point Place, Wisconsin. Our school is going to be torn down by a wrecking ball to build some ugly modernist structure off the interstate. Which makes me wonder what they are going to put in that empty lot? That's another reason why my parents have to sell—the property taxes are going up, The Hub is now a Starbucks, Pricemart is gone, Halverson's department store went out of business two years ago and is now a mini mall—and the crux of it all-Is that there never will be proof that the Forman's and Pinciotti's even lived next store. It will be as if WE never existed. Tell me that doesn't bother you, Donna."
Donna hugged Eric, "But we have each other," She kissed him lightly on the lips, "You have to remember the kids who hang at Starbucks to them that is their Hub. The first Freshman class to enter the new high school won't give a f*** about Point Place High—Come on, let's go for a drive. I brought my camera." She didn't want to tell Eric that it did sadden her about other people living in their houses. It still bothered her a bit about the new owners, but nothing could be done about it. It was hard to fathom this house not belonging to Kitty and Red Forman. With the sounds of Red yelling and the scents of Kitty's cooking. The basement—the circle: Eric, Donna, Hyde, Jackie, Kelso, and Fez.
"Fine. Make sure you take a picture of the Welcome to Point Place sign in the town center before they take that away, too." Eric replied sadly.
He Ain't Heavy
Jackie woke up to Hyde kissing her.
"Hey," She smiled, he tasted like chocolate ice cream, "How was your day?"
"Cool," Hyde replied letting himself be happy, Jackie was determined to knock down the rest of his Great Wall of Hyde, "Tiffany has a surprise for you."
"Close your eyes, Mommy!" She called from the next room
"Okay—what are you two up to?"
"You'll see." Hyde led her to the living room area
"Open them."
Jackie smiled when she saw Tiffany in a little made to order jean jacket and youth sized tinted sunglasses.
"You're so cute!" Jackie beamed
"Whatever," Tiffany replied giggling
Jackie picked her up and hugged her, "I thought you two were bike riding?"
"We were," Hyde replied, "Then I figured someone's got to teach this girl all about being Zen."
"That's cool." Tiffany said in her Mother's shoulder
Jackie smiled and kissed her on the head, "Why don't you go wash up, okay, sweetie?"
"Uh..okay, Mommy. But I like being dirty! It's fun!"
Jackie put her down so she could go to her room.
"You're awesome, Steven." She put her arms around him and pulled him close.
"Whatever."
"You're not doing that with me anymore." And she kissed him tight on the lips.
"I love you, Jackie." Hyde replied, whispering in her ear.
"I know. That's cool."
Eric's birthday (Author's note, I know the writer's made them one month apart but I'm changing it for the sake of the plot)
12:00 AM
"Wha-t the---" Eric woke up to the smell of honey and almonds on his face.
"Happy Birthday, Eric." Donna kissed him as she continued to massage the sticky scrub she purchased from Jackie on his face.
"Can I ask what you're doing?"
"Making you pretty," she laughed. She dipped a washcloth in a bowl of water that she had set on the end table.
"Hmm, being 40 isn't so bad." Eric replied as Donna wiped the sticky concoction off his face.
"Eric you ain't seen nothing yet!" Donna giggled as she kissed him full this time.
'Oh—my—she never—only twice in all the time------God' Eric's eyes fluttered as Donna gave him phase one of his birthday present.
12:40 AM
"I love you." Eric replied after his birthday sex. That wasn't the reason why he loved Donna—she knew that. She was the only constant he had.
"I love you, too. I guess we should go to bed now for real. If we're going to go to your parents house we're going to have to leave early."
"Are we taking your car this time?" Eric asked
"As a matter of fact we are." Donna tried to keep a straight face even though they were in the dark; she didn't want Eric to see her facial expression. It would ruin phase two of his birthday present.
"Good. Because I think my battery is going to die soon. The engines making noise."
"You can take it to the mechanic when we get back," Donna yawned, it was one fantastic yet tiring night. She put her head on Eric's chest.
"I hope you liked your birthday so far."
"Are you kidding? It is like the best fortieth birthday ever!" After all these years and their trials and tribulations he could still make her laugh.
She wondered why she almost let it all go before falling asleep, her head buried in his chest.
Later that day:
"Mom—you're crushing me." Kitty lavished Eric with hugs and kisses. Her baby was forty years old! She was happy and sad at the same time. She was grateful that he was here to celebrate it.
"It's not every day my baby turns forty!" Kitty gushed
It was just a small gathering in the Forman house-Kitty, Red, and
Donna. Laurie made an excuse but Kitty knew that's what it was an excuse. She probably protested not coming to Eric's birthday party because she was being forced to attend to the wedding.
"Congratulations, son." Red was going to shake his son's hand but wound up giving him a hug. Deep down he did love the dumbass after all. It was a given.
"Before we have our cake, I'd like everyone to go outside." Said Donna
"Oh, this is about your present!" Kitty smiled and clapped.
"Eric, close your eyes." Donna said, holding his hand leading him, Kitty, and Red to the backyard.
"I know what it is!" Kitty squealed—Red didn't, he fell asleep watching TV when it was delivered.
"Can I open my eyes now?"
Donna flicked the switch from the remote control as she told Eric to open his eyes as the garage door opened.
"Oh my god! Is this for me?!" It was a vintage 1987 navy blue Corvette. She threw him the keys.
"I love it, Donna!" He kissed her on the lips, "Come on, let's go for a drive around the block."
"I'll get the cake ready for when you two come back." Kitty replied.
"Very nice car, son." Red still missed his vintage Corvette. His son was one lucky bastard indeed.
"Wow! This car is awesome, Donna! You didn't have to---How much did this cost you---?"
"Eric, shut up and drive."
"My lady got me a Corvette! This is too cool!"
When they got to a stop sign, Eric noticed a brown envelope sticking out from the visor.
"What's this?"
"Phase three of your birthday present."
They had the road to themselves so no one cared how long they stayed at the stop sign.
"Donna, you didn't have to go to all this----"
"Eric, open it."
"Tickets? For the 1st annual Star Wars convention for the greater St. Louis area, I've always wanted to go to one of these! Donna, you rule!" He went to hug his fiancée and was pulled back by his seatbelt.
He undid the belt and kissed her on the lips, "Thank you, Donna, this is one great birthday!"
"You're welcome, Eric." Donna undid her seatbelt and put her hands on his shoulders. "I wanted to make this day extra special because there was a chance we could've lost you."
"I know," Eric replied putting his head down, "I'm sorry."
Donna raised his chin with her hand, "I know."
"Hey, that's almost like Leia and Han---"
"Eric—NO MORE STAR WARS!" Donna pretended to be angry.
"You love it, Donna, or you wouldn't have purchased these tickets! Can I get you to dr---"
"No." He wanted them to dress up as Han Solo and Princess Leia for their first wedding. It took forever to talk him out of that one.
"Please?" He asked like he was four and wanted candy instead of 40 and wanting to dress up with his fiancée in Star Wars costumes at an actual Star Wars convention.
"No."
"Okay—if you repeat phase one of my birthday present!"
Donna laughed, "We'll see Eric, it depends on how naughty you are."
Another car was finally behind them at the stop sign and beeped its horn.
"Hey, who told that dill hole to come by and ruin our fun?" Eric mocked a disappointed face.
"Well, we should be getting back anyway, your Mom baked a cake for you."
Eric and Donna were a little disappointed to hear what was about to come out of the mouths of the younger driver and their adolescent passengers behind them.
"Come on, you OLD people, we haven't got all day!"
"When did we become old people?" Eric and Donna replied to themselves in unison.
Kids Today!
Two weeks later
Eric with one eye open hit the snooze bar and tried to go back to sleep but was distracted by Donna throwing things in a bag.
"Good you're up!" Donna said, kissing him on the cheek and going back to her packing.
"In more ways than one," Eric groaned, "Um—going somewhere?" Eric stretched in the bed. What time was it? He was never a morning person.
"Jackie called and wants me and your Mom to spend the day in New York. On the private jet—and Hyde has to work with some band that he "owed a favor to"—so Jackie wants to know will you babysit Tiffany?"
Eric wasn't in the mood today to be fun, cool "Uncle" Eric—but he did like Tiffany so he wasn't going to say no, but he hated how this came up at the last minute.
"Okay, what time do we leave for New York?" Eric sat up in bed.
"You don't leave for anywhere. Jackie's bringing Tiffany here." Donna playfully pushed him back down.
"Good. Then I'm going back to bed."
"Uh, you can't do that, Eric."
"Why?" he buried his head in his pillow.
"Because they're coming in like twenty minutes."
Eric forced himself up. "And when did you find out about all this?"
"Earlier this morning when Jackie woke ME up! I was nice letting you sleep."
"Donna—"
"What?"
He looked at her and she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him. The kind of beauty that inspired songs to begin with classic FM guitar riffs and end with an elegant, well designed piano end piece.
"I love you."
Donna kissed him on the lips, "That's sweet, now get dressed."
He could only smile back at her.
Later:
Jackie, Donna, and Kitty were having lunch at the Four Seasons hotel after a marathon session of shopping and dealing with wedding consultants. Donna didn't see a point with wedding consultants. Why did you need to pay someone else good money to tell you what you needed to make your wedding day special? She still didn't know what to do with her dress and didn't know why she was making it a big issue. A light rain was hitting the windows as the shoppers, famous people trying to go incognito in Ray-Bans, tourists with cameras draped over their necks, and homeless people begging for loose change across the street.
"Donna, hello! Did you hear any word I said?" Jackie asked putting her fork over her salad plate.
"No."
"What's wrong, dear? Did you and Eric have a fight?" Kitty asked getting quite relaxed on the chardonnay.
"No. Just wedding jitters, I guess."
"Wedding jitters? Donna this is your second time marrying Eric. How can you have jitters? Now—this is my first time marrying Steven...I should be the one---"
Donna rolled her eyes, not meaning to start an argument, "Jackie-Christ. The world does not revolve around you and Hyde."
Jackie looked back at her with hurt eyes.
"I'm sorry," Donna replied, "I didn't mean that."
"Okay...no fighting girls. It's bad enough my two boys won't speak to each other—The both of you are nervous. Hmm, this bottles empty. You'll have to order another one for the table, Jackie."
Donna thought that would have been funnier if it didn't hit her at that very moment where Eric got his addictive personality from.
"I think you had enough, Mrs. Forman." Donna said
"Let's get you some coffee." Jackie replied, trying not to let Donna's comment bother her, she did apologize after she said it, but it still hurt.
Back in St. Louis
"Were you scared?" Eric asked Tiffany after they went up the Gateway Arch.
"No! Were you scared, Eric?"
He laughed. "No," Then he thought if he was five, he might have been crying clinging to Kitty while Red yelled at him telling him to suck it up, be a man, and stop crying. "You want to buy some souvenirs for your Mommy?"
"Yeah!"
"The malls underground, it's really awesome."
"I have my own credit card!"
"You do?" Jackie's bank gave special junior credit cards for the children of wealthy and connected parents. It only had a credit limit of fifty dollars but when you are five years it old it feels like a million.
"Yeah—I have FIFTY dollars! Plus the paper money Mommy gave me!"
'Paper Money' laughed Eric. When he was five he was lucky if he had two shiny new quarters to rub together. Let alone a credit card with a fifty dollar limit and paper money. 'Money from your Grandmother...it's going right in the bank so you don't waste it on garbage!' Red would yell over the Christmas Yule log on television.
"Wow. Maybe, I should buy Donna a present, too?" Eric asked Tiffany, holding her hand in the crowd.
"Buy her a ring pop!" Tiffany suggested.
"That may not be a bad idea." Eric smiled like a five year old on a mission. It was at that moment that his cell phone rang it was probably Donna saying how much she missed his body.
A few hours later:
Hyde was on a plane back to New York City after having spent a wasted afternoon in Boston. He was a man of his word and was happy he only had to do one track instead of a whole album. He wanted to get away from the music business for awhile. Jackie left a message saying she was taking Donna and Mrs. Forman to a play and that Mrs. Forman had gotten a little tipsy at lunch and they had to pour the coffee in her. Hyde laughed, good for Mrs. Forman. She deserved to go off every once in awhile. He threw his keys on the desk and he felt that he wasn't alone in the apartment. Was Forman here with Tiffany? He knew Jackie went to St. Louis to drop Tiffany off earlier.
"Steven Hyde—" Enter a Fortune 500 man in a Seville Row suit putting his golf clubs against the wall.
'Oh f**' Hyde thought 'Jackie's ex-husband. Forman would have been better'.
"You are?"
"Bradley Worthington," he sized him up and couldn't believe Jackie loved this low-life. "Before you even think about marrying my ex-wife—we're going to have a little talk."
"Don't talk down to me you son of a bitch. "
"Dealing with people you don't like through violence--must have been that trailer park upbringing."
Hyde tried hard not to lose it for Jackie and Tiffany's sake.
"Say what you came to say then you can leave."
"You forget whose apartment this is. Jackie may have gotten it in the divorce settlement, but it's mine. And so is that private jet."
"Are you here to declare ownership?"
"As a matter of fact, I am."
"Go on." Hyde was losing his cool with every sentence.
"I found out that you plan on adopting Tiffany after you marry Jackie. You don't want to do that," 'He's going to buy me off' "I think this is a fair amount."
He presented Hyde a personal check for two hundred thousand dollars.
"I don't want your f***ing money!" Hyde ripped the check and threw it in Brad's face.
"Take the money or you will leave me with no alternative but to stop it legally. Because I'm not about to let my daughter become Tiffany Hyde."
"You don't love Tiffany. You might buy her expensive things, but you don't spend real time with her. You're a terrible influence on her and I have news for you if you think your money can buy your daughter's love. You are an arrogant son of a bitch."
"Jackie always had a penchant for low lives. I don't want you adopting my daughter---You are scum--if Jackie wants you, I could care less—infact the more I think about it the more I should file for custody of Tiffany that way you will have no influence on her at all."
"F*** you! Hyde would be a great Father!" 'Forman? Where did he come from?' Before anyone could react to anything Eric did the old Jeff Gillooly on Brad with one his precious five irons.
"Get up!"
"You bastard!" Brad looked up at Eric. Eric had received a phone call that he had to take Tiffany back on the private jet and he didn't want to put her on the plane alone even though there would be sweet attendant to make sure her every need would be taken care of. But not her emotional needs and Eric knew she'd have cried if he didn't accompany her. She wanted to sleep with her Barbie headphones on because Jackie wasn't there and didn't like her sleeping with headphones on—and Eric who felt so jet lagged fell asleep on the guest bed waiting for Donna, his Mother, and Jackie to return.
"No! You are the bastard! Hyde loves your daughter! You probably will shove her off to some Swiss boarding school. You are just jealous that he'll be the better Father—and that Tiffany loves him and doesn't love you!"
Forman defending Hyde? Did Hell suddenly freeze over? Were pigs flying?
"Brad, what in the hell are you doing here?" Jackie didn't help him up but noticed the golf club in Eric's hand.
"Eric, what the hell?" Donna said, trying to piece together why Jackie's ex-husband was on the floor clutching his knee and Eric was holding one Brad's golf clubs. Before throwing it down on the floor.
"He said some uncalled for things! I'm going for a walk." ('but I'm not going to get high' he whispered in Donna's ear.) Going right passed his Mother.
"What did you say, Bradley? Steven what's going on?" Jackie asked
Kitty noticed the torn check on the floor.
"I'll tell you in private." Hyde retreated to the kitchen.
"I should f***ing sue your friend!" No one was helping him up, even Kitty the retired nurse.
"I'm not chancing it, I'm going to catch up to Eric." Donna replied.
Eric got as far as the lobby.
"What happened?" asked Donna, happy that he wasn't wandering around aimlessly. She put her hand on his shoulder.
"Tiffany and I were having a good time. We went inside the Arch. and while we were on our way shopping I got a call from some guy named Phil from JFK—and---I really don't want to talk about this. I'm just glad Tiffany had her music on and didn't hear any of it. I got you a present."
Eric pulled a cherry ring pop out of his pocket.
"A ring pop? Wow! The last time you got me one, we were seven years old!"
"It was Tiffany's idea."
"Aw....How cute—Wait a minute---were you defending Hyde?"
Eric put his hands in his trouser pockets, "Donna—I don't---It just sort of happened—Hyde was just letting that pompous jerk talk down to him—and I—don't want to talk about this."
He turned to go back inside. His Mother was probably worried sick.
"He said what?! I should go in there and finish the other knee!" Jackie said. Brad had some nerve "and Eric---"
"I don't want to talk about it, Jackie." Hyde said finishing his beer.
"Oh, I left Mrs. Forman in the living room alone, I'm a bad host! We'll talk about this later, Steven you can bet on it." She kissed him on the lips, and he realized why he didn't hit the ass****.
"I'm going to you use your office for a bit, okay?"
"Steven, it's our office." Jackie reminded.
Brad made it to one of the chairs in the living room as Kitty came back from checking on Tiffany.
"You're leaving." Jackie said—she didn't know how they were going to do deal with the adoption situation but right now she wanted her ex out of her apartment.
"I'm in pain."
"Too bad. My attorney will call your attorney. Now get out!"
Donna and Eric were re-entering Jackie's apartment while she was kicking out Brad.
"You want me to throw him in the elevator?" Eric quipped.
"Do that and I will sue you, " Brad mumbled.
"Shut up!" Jackie said pushing him into the elevator. Let James the doorman handle throwing him in a taxi.
"Thank god that dill hole is gone." Eric replied sitting on the sofa.
"Are you all right, Eric?" asked Kitty
"Yes, I'm fine."
"Come on—Mrs. Forman and Donna lets go the pharmacy and gift shop downstairs."
'I know what you're doing. Please don't' Eric thought.
"Yes, that's a very good idea!" Kitty laughed as she kissed her son on the cheek.
'Well, I'm just going to stay here on the sofa'
"Yeah, we'll be back later." Donna kissed Eric to wipe the smirk off his face.
Twenty minutes later
Hyde poured the root beer over the vanilla ice cream and put a straw in the small Disneyworld mug for Tiffany.
"Thank you, Steven!"
"You're welcome."
"Doesn't Eric want a root beer float?" He was trying to do the New York Times crossword in ink.
"Why don't you ask him?" Hyde had trouble processing all this—what they were supposed to be friends now because Eric whacked Brad in the knee with a golf club and said he'd be a great Father?
"Okay," Tiffany left her mug on the counter and ran to the living room to Eric. "Hi, Eric."
"Hi."
"Do you want a root beer float? Steven made me one. They're good!"
"No thanks, sweetie." Eric could eat her up, she was so cute.
"Are you two still mad with each other? I hear Mommy talking to Donna on the phone!" She asked Eric with wide eyes. She liked Steven and Eric. She wanted them to be friends. Her Mommy showed her pictures of when they were all younger. She said Hyde and Eric were best friends, they knew each other before she knew them. That made Tiffany sad she wanted them to be best friends again.
Eric put the paper down and stood up, holding Tiffany's hand as they walked to the kitchen together. Hyde was checking his voice mail when Eric came in with Tiffany. She went back to her root beer float.
"Hyde," Eric began. He didn't know what he was going to say.
"Eric," Hyde interrupted him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what Eric had to say. He watched Tiffany take the straw out of her mug and took her spoon with her initial "T" engraved on the handle to scoop out the ice cream. She looked at them with hopeful eyes.
Eric went over the refrigerator and took out a can of soda. Unsure of what was going to happen between him and Hyde. He was only sure of one thing at the moment. "He," Eric started to say referring to Brad, he didn't want to say his name with Tiffany present. Thankfully she had her music on and didn't know what went on today.
He knew Donna, His Mom, and Jackie only went downstairs so they could make up. Guy's friendships were different than women's friendships it wasn't as simple as that-leave the room and come back and everything is fixed. It just wasn't as simple as that.
"He was out of line," Eric replied nervously as he lightly shook his soda can, "He was out of line about you. That's all." Eric walked back into the living room waiting for Donna to return.
"Do you like Eric now?" Tiffany asked, slurping the bottom part of the float with her straw.
"Remember what I taught you, Tiffany? Yeah, he's cool."