This is actually the second version of this fic. The first one was okay, it was cute and what not, but it just wasn't... funny enough. So we re-wrote it from scratch and am much happier with it. ^^;;
******
Hakuba checked his pocketwatch and raised an eyebrow at the policemen staring at the elevator door. There was only one way in or out of the room they were currently in, and that was via the elevator on the far wall. According to their calculations, the Kid was due 3 minutes ago and the wait was making them jumpy.
According to his calculations however, taking into effect the fact that the trains usually ran late and he knew for a fact that a certain class clowns wrist watch ran a minute and 14 seconds behind, the Kid wasn't due for another 37 seconds. He failed to see what they were so nervous about.
On the other hand, it was somewhat amusing watching men over twice his age jumping at the slightest sound, like they were expecting the Boogie Man to jump out and grab them. Even Nakamori-keibu was starting to grind his teeth together.
29 seconds.
The insistent sound of a cell phone ringing made everyone jump. People automatically reached down to where ever their phones were usually stored.
"Moshi Moshi?"
The winner of the great ringing cell phone contest answered. People looked around in confusion as they realised that no one on the floor had the phone.
Hakuba looked up. There, clinging to the white ceiling like a gecko above the jewel they were supposed to be guarding with large suction cups on the inside of his knees and elbows, was the Kaitou Kid. Answering his cell phone.
He looked down (up?) at them with a near apologetic look. "Uh.. I'm kind of in the middle of something."
"GET HIM!!!" Nakamori howled as if he was un-leashing the hounds of hell themselves.
There was a brief scramble as everyone attempted to do so. Hakuba sweatdropped. It would take 2 men standing on each other's shoulders to touch the ceiling, and while a dog pile might work, it wasn't going to be of much help if the Kid moved. Which he undoubtedly would.
"No, I can't write it down right now..." The Kid seemed to ignore the crowd below him as he un-stuck himself from the ceiling and landed on the pedestal holding the gem. "Just tell me and I'll remember."
Hakuba realised he was the closest one to the Kid and reached out to grab him. The Kid blinked, looking past him with wide-eyes and pointed.
He turned to look.
And promptly cursed himself for a fool as he found himself out of the game early, tied up in ropes with a handkerchief around his mouth.
The Kid flashed him a wink and grabbed the jewel in his phone-free hand. Nakamori let out a sound like an enraged bull and charged at them, several men following. The Kid let out an 'Eep!' and jumped off the taller pedestal, flipping over their heads.
Hakuba wiggled, straining to get out of the ropes, watching as the Kid made his way to the elevator door, dodging flying policemen as he continued to talk on the cellphone.
"Potatoes-" Mid-air splits as 2 policemen collided face to face below him. "-Carrots-" A spin and duck past another officer "-Onion-" A flip over a couple more officers "-and Chicken..."
If the Kuroba family wasn't having curry for dinner that night, Hakuba reflected dryly, he would eat his deerstalker hat. With horseradish sauce.
The Kid paused as he realised that he was now half way between the pedestal and the elevator, and now completely surrounded by police officers. He did a quick double take then lifted the phone again. "Hold on for a second, I need my hands."
With that scant warning, he popped the jewel in his mouth, grabbed the phone with his teeth and jumped, using an officers head for a spring board back up to the ceiling, much like a startled squirrel avoiding a predator would.
"Get that out of your mouth!" Nakamori cursed, still following him. "You don't know where it's been!"
... Typical Parent, Hakuba noted as he got an arm free of the ropes.
Safe on the ceiling once more, the Kid spat out both the gem and the phone into his hand. "Can I pick up Ice cream?" The Kid asked eagerly, taunted the Inspector by waving the sparkling stone at him before making it disappear.
Nakamori growled. The Kid shrugged, then pulled the phone away for a moment to address the Inspector "Oi! Anything you need at the market while I'm there?"
The Inspector informed him just where he could shove several different kinds of vegetables. The Kid flinched and held the phone up to his ear again as he slithered his way across the ceiling. "Uh, can we take carrots off the list? ...No, that wasn't me."
Pause.
"That was Nakamori!"
Slight pause. "No, wrong Nakamori. I don't think you're allowed to wash Nakamori-keibu's mouth out with soap, he's bigger than you are."
The inspector turned a darker shade of red. Hakuba hid a grin. It was rather amusing, really.
"Fine. You can hold him down, -I'll- wash his mouth out with soap. And everyone can watch."
There was a faint cheer from some of the men.
"The Elevator, you idiots!" Nakamori roared. "Block the elevator!"
Too late, Hakuba commented to himself as he wrestled free from the last of the ropes. The Kid, even when slowed down by the cellphone and the suction cups, was still ungodly fast.
Right on cue, the elevator doors opened with a 'Ping'.
The Kid flipped off the ceiling, landing inside the open elevator. He grinned at them, hitting the 'close door' button.
"Mom says Hello!" He cheered.
"Hi, Mom!" A couple of people tiredly called back.
The doors pinged shut.
Hakuba shook his head, checking his watch. The entire incident, from phone ringing to the escape, had taken under 90 seconds. And not only had the Kid escaped again, for he doubted they would be able to track him down once he got into the ventilation systems, and gotten the jewel, but he had taken down a grocery list as well.
A doleful voice spoke up from somewhere underneath the dogpile. "Can we get ice cream too?"
-fin-
Poor Hakuba, falling for the old 'Look! What's that?!' ploy... Ah, well. Turn about is fair play, he's usually the one trying to jump the Kid to get handcuffs on him. *snickers*
******
Hakuba checked his pocketwatch and raised an eyebrow at the policemen staring at the elevator door. There was only one way in or out of the room they were currently in, and that was via the elevator on the far wall. According to their calculations, the Kid was due 3 minutes ago and the wait was making them jumpy.
According to his calculations however, taking into effect the fact that the trains usually ran late and he knew for a fact that a certain class clowns wrist watch ran a minute and 14 seconds behind, the Kid wasn't due for another 37 seconds. He failed to see what they were so nervous about.
On the other hand, it was somewhat amusing watching men over twice his age jumping at the slightest sound, like they were expecting the Boogie Man to jump out and grab them. Even Nakamori-keibu was starting to grind his teeth together.
29 seconds.
The insistent sound of a cell phone ringing made everyone jump. People automatically reached down to where ever their phones were usually stored.
"Moshi Moshi?"
The winner of the great ringing cell phone contest answered. People looked around in confusion as they realised that no one on the floor had the phone.
Hakuba looked up. There, clinging to the white ceiling like a gecko above the jewel they were supposed to be guarding with large suction cups on the inside of his knees and elbows, was the Kaitou Kid. Answering his cell phone.
He looked down (up?) at them with a near apologetic look. "Uh.. I'm kind of in the middle of something."
"GET HIM!!!" Nakamori howled as if he was un-leashing the hounds of hell themselves.
There was a brief scramble as everyone attempted to do so. Hakuba sweatdropped. It would take 2 men standing on each other's shoulders to touch the ceiling, and while a dog pile might work, it wasn't going to be of much help if the Kid moved. Which he undoubtedly would.
"No, I can't write it down right now..." The Kid seemed to ignore the crowd below him as he un-stuck himself from the ceiling and landed on the pedestal holding the gem. "Just tell me and I'll remember."
Hakuba realised he was the closest one to the Kid and reached out to grab him. The Kid blinked, looking past him with wide-eyes and pointed.
He turned to look.
And promptly cursed himself for a fool as he found himself out of the game early, tied up in ropes with a handkerchief around his mouth.
The Kid flashed him a wink and grabbed the jewel in his phone-free hand. Nakamori let out a sound like an enraged bull and charged at them, several men following. The Kid let out an 'Eep!' and jumped off the taller pedestal, flipping over their heads.
Hakuba wiggled, straining to get out of the ropes, watching as the Kid made his way to the elevator door, dodging flying policemen as he continued to talk on the cellphone.
"Potatoes-" Mid-air splits as 2 policemen collided face to face below him. "-Carrots-" A spin and duck past another officer "-Onion-" A flip over a couple more officers "-and Chicken..."
If the Kuroba family wasn't having curry for dinner that night, Hakuba reflected dryly, he would eat his deerstalker hat. With horseradish sauce.
The Kid paused as he realised that he was now half way between the pedestal and the elevator, and now completely surrounded by police officers. He did a quick double take then lifted the phone again. "Hold on for a second, I need my hands."
With that scant warning, he popped the jewel in his mouth, grabbed the phone with his teeth and jumped, using an officers head for a spring board back up to the ceiling, much like a startled squirrel avoiding a predator would.
"Get that out of your mouth!" Nakamori cursed, still following him. "You don't know where it's been!"
... Typical Parent, Hakuba noted as he got an arm free of the ropes.
Safe on the ceiling once more, the Kid spat out both the gem and the phone into his hand. "Can I pick up Ice cream?" The Kid asked eagerly, taunted the Inspector by waving the sparkling stone at him before making it disappear.
Nakamori growled. The Kid shrugged, then pulled the phone away for a moment to address the Inspector "Oi! Anything you need at the market while I'm there?"
The Inspector informed him just where he could shove several different kinds of vegetables. The Kid flinched and held the phone up to his ear again as he slithered his way across the ceiling. "Uh, can we take carrots off the list? ...No, that wasn't me."
Pause.
"That was Nakamori!"
Slight pause. "No, wrong Nakamori. I don't think you're allowed to wash Nakamori-keibu's mouth out with soap, he's bigger than you are."
The inspector turned a darker shade of red. Hakuba hid a grin. It was rather amusing, really.
"Fine. You can hold him down, -I'll- wash his mouth out with soap. And everyone can watch."
There was a faint cheer from some of the men.
"The Elevator, you idiots!" Nakamori roared. "Block the elevator!"
Too late, Hakuba commented to himself as he wrestled free from the last of the ropes. The Kid, even when slowed down by the cellphone and the suction cups, was still ungodly fast.
Right on cue, the elevator doors opened with a 'Ping'.
The Kid flipped off the ceiling, landing inside the open elevator. He grinned at them, hitting the 'close door' button.
"Mom says Hello!" He cheered.
"Hi, Mom!" A couple of people tiredly called back.
The doors pinged shut.
Hakuba shook his head, checking his watch. The entire incident, from phone ringing to the escape, had taken under 90 seconds. And not only had the Kid escaped again, for he doubted they would be able to track him down once he got into the ventilation systems, and gotten the jewel, but he had taken down a grocery list as well.
A doleful voice spoke up from somewhere underneath the dogpile. "Can we get ice cream too?"
-fin-
Poor Hakuba, falling for the old 'Look! What's that?!' ploy... Ah, well. Turn about is fair play, he's usually the one trying to jump the Kid to get handcuffs on him. *snickers*