Ren and Chris trailed behind Gordie and Elizabeth that day after school as they all walked back to Elizabeth's house.
After a long period of silence, Chris asked her, "How's life?"
Ren gave him a small smile. "Alright, thanks."
Up ahead, Elizabeth was singing, "I have a new friend, I have a new friend, I have a new friend…"
Gordie was doing his best to shut her up.
"Did anyone really hassle you?" Chris asked.
Of course they had. Ren had almost cried a few times. It was the remarks that some people had made about her screwing Chris that had hurt the most. "No, nothing that I couldn't handle." She shrugged indifferently. "Did anyone bother you?"
"Well, besides the interesting rumour of me being the father of the twins you're carrying, not really." He grinned, and then abruptly moved to walk on the other side of her so that she was on the inside of the sidewalk. His mom had told him once that the guy should always walk on the outside when he was with a girl so that she didn't get hit by a car. At the time he thought it was funny, but that's because up until now there had never been a girl for him to really walk with.
"Good." Looking at Gordie and Elizabeth for awhile as they laughed hysterically together at a small dog with a bow tied up in someone's yard, Ren leaned over and whispered, "Am I the slowest person in the world or do they like each other?"
Chris laughed. "You're the slowest person in the world and yes, they like each other."
"That's cute. How old is Elizabeth?"
"Fifteen. Almost sixteen."
"So Gordie's a cradle robber?"
"She's only a year and a half younger than us." He smiled. "But we can call him that if you want, because the image of him lingering over cradles and robbing them is kind of funny."
She giggled. "How long have they liked each other for?"
"Hell, I don't even know. Forever. Or at least since she moved here. Ever since she got stuck in a bush."
"She got stuck in a bush?" Ren asked, laughing.
"She was trying to get her cat, and her pants got caught on a branch and tore a big hole in the back of them, so she was in there until Gordie heard her swearing and freed her." He laughed. "He still makes fun of the supposed 'granny panties' she was wearing when he wants to piss her off."
"Well, I don't know if that's a cute story or just kinda sad," Ren giggled. "She's not allowed to date or something?"
"Yeah, her dad's a total dictator. Very tyrannical." He considered for a moment. "Like Hitler. But not German."
"Ah, he just loves her and doesn't want some boy breaking her heart."
"You sounded somewhat sad saying that," he pointed out helpfully.
"Meh," she muttered. "I guess I kinda wish that my dad gave a flying crap about me."
"Well," Chris said, linking his arm playfully through hers. "At least now you've got friends that do give a crap about you."
"BABY!" Elizabeth squealed.
"Oh, God, brace yourself," Chris warned Ren. "This might get mushy."
"I missed you so much, did you miss me, aren't you just the sweetest thing in the world, yes I love you thiiiiis much!"
"Elizabeth, you're going to strangle that dog someday and it'll die and then you'll be really sad but I'll just say 'ha ha I told you so,'" Gordie said.
"I love him!" Elizabeth snapped. "You can't keep us apart! You don't understand!" She spotted Chris and Ren watching her reunion with her large German shepherd/border collie mix dog. "Hello! Ren, have you met my dog?"
"No."
"Would you like to?"
"Yes."
"Excellent! Ren, this is Nakoma, Nakoma this is Ren. I think you two will get along beautifully."
Nakoma appeared pleased to be meeting Ren. His butt was whipping back and forth as he wagged his tail enthusiastically.
"Watch your crotch," Gordie said. "He's a known crotch-diver."
"Gordie, that was crude," Elizabeth grumbled. "I'm trying to teach him to keep his nose to himself. And he only does that with guys anyway."
"Oh my," Ren said. "Too much information."
Later, they were up in Elizabeth's room. Elizabeth, however, was not present at the time, because Gordie had sent her on a mission to find food for them to eat.
"Gordo, what are you doing?" Chris asked.
Gordie was searching discreetly through her desk drawers. "Her diary, man, it's gotta be around here somewhere."
"Gordie," Ren laughed scoldingly. "You don't touch a girl's diary."
"But what if it has something about ME?" Gordie demanded. "I need to know!"
"Diaries are often filled with girly information you don't need to fill your mind with."
"But--"
"Gordie, sit your ass down," she said. "If she comes in here and finds you searching for her diary, she's going to be pissed and then I won't find it enjoyable to watch you two be all cute with your repressed romantic feelings."
Chris grinned at her. "Always thinking, aren't you?"
"It can get annoying," she admitted.
Elizabeth kicked open the door. "I brought you a kitty!"
"To eat?" Gordie cried.
"No, you damn nimrod," she grumbled. "This is my kitty, Ren, his name is Neko. Actually, it's not, there's more to it, but I don't remember. All I remember is that it means psychotic kitty. Anyway, he is for you to play with." With a large smile on her face, she placed a small grey cat in Ren's arms and looked on them with impatience, waiting for them to bond.
"Uh, very nice--" Ren began uncertainly, but then Neko began to purr, and Ren melted. "Ooh, he loves me!"
"Yeah, I've got another cat around here somewhere named Felix," she said, flopping down on the bed next to Gordie. "But we hate each other. Actually, he hates everyone. One time he got stuck in a tree and so my brother climbed up to get him and then realized that he couldn't climb down with a cat in his hands so he yelled down to me to catch him and then he let Felix fall and then he zoomed right through my open arms to the cold hard ground and it was all very sad so Felix is traumatized and he needs therapy."
"I like Felix," Chris offered. "Felix likes me."
"Oh why don't you marry him then?" Elizabeth asked.
"I have the magic touch," Chris told Ren secretively. "I make tame stuff that's wild."
"Then what's with your hair?" Gordie asked.
"I'm just letting it grow out a little, bite me, Gordie."
"That reminds me. I'm hungry." He looked to Elizabeth expectantly. "Feed me?"
"Oh, I forgot about that." She looked bashful, and then went out into the hallway. She leaned over the banister and yelled, "ZEKE!"
"NEVER!" a voice from downstairs shouted back.
"BRING ME UP ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED A SMALL ARMY OKAY?"
"WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?"
"I WON'T HIRE ANYONE TO KILL YOU!"
Eventually, a boy about nineteen or so came into the room, and hurled a box of cereal at Elizabeth. "There you go, Sweetheart."
"Cereal? You forgot the milk and bowls and spoons."
"No, I didn't, you're just an idiot and I'm not your bitch."
Chris and Gordie were already devouring the dry cereal by the handful.
"Hello," the boy said, suddenly noticing Ren. "I don't know you." He grinned. "AWWW, Lizzybeth, did you make a new friend?"
"Yes, I made her. Just call me Dr. Frankenstein."
"You know that always back fires." He smiled at Ren. "I'm Zeke. Elizabeth might try and convince you that I'm her brother, but don't believe her. I disowned her a long time ago."
"You ARE my brother!" Elizabeth cried. "Why doesn't anyone want to be my relative?"
"Because you're a disgrace and you eat drywall," Zeke replied.
"I do not eat drywall!" she yelled. She turned to Ren. "I do not eat drywall."
"Well, you used to."
Ren smiled, and then looked at Zeke. "I'm Ren Rasmussen."
"You're a Rasmussen? What are you doing hanging out with my little sister? She's such a freak."
"I've decided to convert to freak as well," she laughed. "So you'll be seeing me around lots."
"Good." Zeke grinned and then left the room.
"Ooh, my brother was hiiiiitting on you," Elizabeth sang, doing a dance. She wrinkled her nose. "Ew! That's gross! Do you want to lie down? It must be very grisly and terrifying for you."
"I'll be fine," Ren giggled.
"Yeah, she's used to being hit on, aren't you?" Chris teased.
"Shut up," she laughed, and smacked him with a teddy bear.
"Barnaby! Unhand him at once!" Ren tossed the bear to Elizabeth, who held him tightly. "I have some sisters too. They also might hit on you, so maybe it would be best if you stayed away from them."
"Hey!" Gordie said. "Chloe loves me. I don't know about Leah though. I worry about her orientation issues."
After the cereal was gone, Ren decided that she should probably be going home. Chris thought that it was too dark for her to walk home alone, even though he didn't say so, but he did offer to walk her home.