centerChapter 1/centerP
There she was, like always. Sitting on that back porch, staring up at the
sky. He'd found her there every night. Sometimes she would talk to him.
Other times she would just let him sit with her and enjoy the silence.
These were the moments Spike craved. The moments he could actually pretend
that she might see him as more than a demon. She could see him as a friend.
As more than a friend.P
"Are you going to stand there all night?" Buffy asked making Spike smile. She wanted conversation tonight.P
Spike walked over and sat down on the other end of the steps. He never sat right beside her. She had granted him this small favor, put the little trust she had towards him and let him sit with her. He would not make her uncomfortable by turning this into a romantic thing. Unless she instigated it of course.P
"Don't you love the moon?" she asked after a couple minutes had gone by.P
"Sure, it's a pretty sight," Spike said wondering where tonight's conversation was headed. She always had an underlying meaning.P
"There was a full moon that night," Buffy said softly. "I remember sitting on that fresh grave staring at it. Merrick standing by the tree closest to it. He knew it was a fresh grave but didn't warn me."P
"The night you were called," Spike said realization dawning. "Must have been a pretty interesting night?"P
"Yeah, but it was also the best night of my life I remember thinking," Buffy said smirking at her stupidity. "Here I was, this cheerleader who had the brains of a rock, and I now had super powers. I was a super hero."P
Spike smiled at her. "Yeah, I remember Peaches talking about your cheerleading days. Said what you lacked in talent you made up in spirit."P
Buffy shook her head. "I didn't realize it until I watched my watcher die, that I was also still that girl, that cheerleader. I was so cocky, so sure of myself, I let my watcher die protecting me." She wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I'll never forget that night. It was the night before I quit cheerleading, quit my friends, quit my boyfriend. I gave up on having both worlds and became the Slayer."P
Spike leaned back against the top step. "Well, you were a better Slayer."P
Buffy turned to face him, tears in her eyes. "I shouldn't have been. I was sixteen years old Spike. I wasn't ready to be a Slayer. I wasn't ready to save the world. I watched my best friends die, I watched my watcher die and I couldn't do anything. I was a girl playing in a demon world. I'm still that girl, now I'm just more cynical."P
Spike sighed. "Pet, you are the best Slayer that they have ever had. The Watcher's council knows that. The demon's in the world know that. You are an amazing girl too. You can't separate the two Buffy. You are both. The Slayer and the Girl. But you make it work."P
"I don't want to," Buffy said so quietly nobody should have been able to hear her but Spike had exceptional hearing.P
"You can't quit luv, this world would die without you. Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, and myself included. It was bad enough when you died. For you to just quit now, that would break us."P
Buffy looked up at the sky again. "It was so peaceful up there. I want to go back. I need to go back. This place has gotten harder. I don't know if I can make it."P
"You can Buffy, you will," Spike said already hearing someone about to break up their happy conversation.P
"Buffy!" Xander called opening the back door. He stopped when he saw Spike sitting beside his best friend. "Is he bothering you Buf?"P
Spike stood up, his welcome was short lived already. He wasn't even welcome, Buffy had never told him she wanted him here. He just came and now it was time to go. But this time, he wouldn't stay and listen for her rejection.P
"He's not bothering me Xander," Buffy said her voice sounding cold even to Spike. "He's just being a friend, and I can never have enough of those."P
Xander saw Spike freeze and watched him turn to look at the Slayer. So the vampire still loved the Slayer. Well, if Buffy wanted to play with his feelings, he wasn't going to stop her. "We need you in the living room. Scooby meeting."P
Buffy nodded but it took her another moment to stand up. "Thank you Xander, I'll be inside soon. I just want a couple more minutes out here." She waited until he had gone inside. It was close to five minutes later before she made her way to the door. Spike still stood inside the yard, staring at her. When she opened the door he turned to go.P
"Aren't you coming?" she asked pausing.P
"These meetings are for you and the gang, I'm not cut out for that sort of thing. I'm not needed there." Spike made it to the end of the yard before he heard what she said.
"I need you," Buffy said softly.P center*****/centerP
"She's so different," Xander said pacing by the fire place. "She's out there sitting with Spike acting like he's a friend. He's a vampire!"P
"He did help us while she was gone though," Willow pointed out. "And Buffy is just getting use to being back. We don't know where she's been. She's probably still sorting through whatever hell dimension she was stuck in."P
"I don't know, Xander might have a point," Giles said agreeing with the young man. "Buffy is not who we remembered. It's like a part of her is missing. I want to research the spell you guys did, find out if she had to give something up to come back."P
Willow and Tara stood up and made their way to the bookcase that held the spell they had performed. They wouldn't tell him that they had already looked it over and couldn't find anything that would explain the Slayer's change.P
"Has she patrolled since she came back?" Anya asked curiously. Xander was going out every night still with Willow and she wanted her fiancé back.P
"No, I don't feel comfortable putting her out there without her being herself," Giles said.P
"Thank you for that," Buffy said standing in the doorway from the kitchen into the living room. Spike stood behind her looking unsure of himself, which was strange for the cocky vampire.P
"Buffy, we didn't know you were here, we were just discussing." Willow said looking at everybody for help to think up some excuse.P
"Me, yeah I heard." She walked into the room reaching behind her with one hand to make sure Spike was still behind her. "I can't explain why I'm different. I feel different inside. You don't know where I was. I can't describe it." She looked at Spike. "I wish it was different guys."P
"Buffy," Giles said staring at his slayer with concern. "You are like a daughter to me. I love you more than I love myself. You know this. I want to help you. But you have to talk."P
Buffy stood up and pursed her lips before continuing. "That's just it Giles, I don't want to talk. I want to.just let me.let me get use to being back on my own." When Xander opened his mouth to say something she shook her head at him. "I know it's been a month. But maybe I need two months."P
"If Buffy wants time, give her time," Dawn said staring at Buffy. "After all, it's her life." She stood up and smiled, but it was more like a sneer. "Right Buffy, it's your life, only yours."P
Buffy stared at her sister in shock. She didn't understand where all this hostility was coming from. "Dawn, what's wrong?"P
"Oh, like you care now," Dawn said her eyes tearing up. "You didn't care last week, or the week before. Don't you realize that I know you don't want to be here? That you would rather be with mom and Tara. I know you hate it here, so why bother at all. Just go die, okay, go!" Dawn backed up when Buffy moved towards her. "Just go!"P
Giles stood up when Buffy turned and walked out the door. "Dawn, that was uncalled for." He started chasing after her but Willow stopped him.P
"Dawn's right Giles." She looked at everybody else for support. "Buffy has been back and she is still pissed about us bringing her back. We all know, not just Dawn, that she doesn't want to be here. Dawn was just stating the truth."P
"Yes, I understand that," Giles said glaring at her. "But sending out Buffy, at nighttime, wasn't a good idea. Especially Dawn wishing her dead. Buffy doesn't need any encouragement on that part!"P
"You don't think," Willow said softly. "Nah, Buffy isn't that kind of person."P
"Buffy Summers wasn't, but this girl, just may be," Xander said thoughtfully.
Spike walked out of the room and out the door. They could stand there and argue about Buffy, and her attitude all they want. He was going to go talk some sense into her, before she did do something stupid.PcenterChapter 1/centerP There she was, like always. Sitting on that back porch, staring up at the sky. He'd found her there every night. Sometimes she would talk to him. Other times she would just let him sit with her and enjoy the silence. These were the moments Spike craved. The moments he could actually pretend that she might see him as more than a demon. She could see him as a friend. As more than a friend.P
"Are you going to stand there all night?" Buffy asked making Spike smile. She wanted conversation tonight.P
Spike walked over and sat down on the other end of the steps. He never sat right beside her. She had granted him this small favor, put the little trust she had towards him and let him sit with her. He would not make her uncomfortable by turning this into a romantic thing. Unless she instigated it of course.P
"Don't you love the moon?" she asked after a couple minutes had gone by.P
"Sure, it's a pretty sight," Spike said wondering where tonight's conversation was headed. She always had an underlying meaning.P
"There was a full moon that night," Buffy said softly. "I remember sitting on that fresh grave staring at it. Merrick standing by the tree closest to it. He knew it was a fresh grave but didn't warn me."P
"The night you were called," Spike said realization dawning. "Must have been a pretty interesting night?"P
"Yeah, but it was also the best night of my life I remember thinking," Buffy said smirking at her stupidity. "Here I was, this cheerleader who had the brains of a rock, and I now had super powers. I was a super hero."P
Spike smiled at her. "Yeah, I remember Peaches talking about your cheerleading days. Said what you lacked in talent you made up in spirit."P
Buffy shook her head. "I didn't realize it until I watched my watcher die, that I was also still that girl, that cheerleader. I was so cocky, so sure of myself, I let my watcher die protecting me." She wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I'll never forget that night. It was the night before I quit cheerleading, quit my friends, quit my boyfriend. I gave up on having both worlds and became the Slayer."P
Spike leaned back against the top step. "Well, you were a better Slayer."P
Buffy turned to face him, tears in her eyes. "I shouldn't have been. I was sixteen years old Spike. I wasn't ready to be a Slayer. I wasn't ready to save the world. I watched my best friends die, I watched my watcher die and I couldn't do anything. I was a girl playing in a demon world. I'm still that girl, now I'm just more cynical."P
Spike sighed. "Pet, you are the best Slayer that they have ever had. The Watcher's council knows that. The demon's in the world know that. You are an amazing girl too. You can't separate the two Buffy. You are both. The Slayer and the Girl. But you make it work."P
"I don't want to," Buffy said so quietly nobody should have been able to hear her but Spike had exceptional hearing.P
"You can't quit luv, this world would die without you. Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, and myself included. It was bad enough when you died. For you to just quit now, that would break us."P
Buffy looked up at the sky again. "It was so peaceful up there. I want to go back. I need to go back. This place has gotten harder. I don't know if I can make it."P
"You can Buffy, you will," Spike said already hearing someone about to break up their happy conversation.P
"Buffy!" Xander called opening the back door. He stopped when he saw Spike sitting beside his best friend. "Is he bothering you Buf?"P
Spike stood up, his welcome was short lived already. He wasn't even welcome, Buffy had never told him she wanted him here. He just came and now it was time to go. But this time, he wouldn't stay and listen for her rejection.P
"He's not bothering me Xander," Buffy said her voice sounding cold even to Spike. "He's just being a friend, and I can never have enough of those."P
Xander saw Spike freeze and watched him turn to look at the Slayer. So the vampire still loved the Slayer. Well, if Buffy wanted to play with his feelings, he wasn't going to stop her. "We need you in the living room. Scooby meeting."P
Buffy nodded but it took her another moment to stand up. "Thank you Xander, I'll be inside soon. I just want a couple more minutes out here." She waited until he had gone inside. It was close to five minutes later before she made her way to the door. Spike still stood inside the yard, staring at her. When she opened the door he turned to go.P
"Aren't you coming?" she asked pausing.P
"These meetings are for you and the gang, I'm not cut out for that sort of thing. I'm not needed there." Spike made it to the end of the yard before he heard what she said.
"I need you," Buffy said softly.P center*****/centerP
"She's so different," Xander said pacing by the fire place. "She's out there sitting with Spike acting like he's a friend. He's a vampire!"P
"He did help us while she was gone though," Willow pointed out. "And Buffy is just getting use to being back. We don't know where she's been. She's probably still sorting through whatever hell dimension she was stuck in."P
"I don't know, Xander might have a point," Giles said agreeing with the young man. "Buffy is not who we remembered. It's like a part of her is missing. I want to research the spell you guys did, find out if she had to give something up to come back."P
Willow and Tara stood up and made their way to the bookcase that held the spell they had performed. They wouldn't tell him that they had already looked it over and couldn't find anything that would explain the Slayer's change.P
"Has she patrolled since she came back?" Anya asked curiously. Xander was going out every night still with Willow and she wanted her fiancé back.P
"No, I don't feel comfortable putting her out there without her being herself," Giles said.P
"Thank you for that," Buffy said standing in the doorway from the kitchen into the living room. Spike stood behind her looking unsure of himself, which was strange for the cocky vampire.P
"Buffy, we didn't know you were here, we were just discussing." Willow said looking at everybody for help to think up some excuse.P
"Me, yeah I heard." She walked into the room reaching behind her with one hand to make sure Spike was still behind her. "I can't explain why I'm different. I feel different inside. You don't know where I was. I can't describe it." She looked at Spike. "I wish it was different guys."P
"Buffy," Giles said staring at his slayer with concern. "You are like a daughter to me. I love you more than I love myself. You know this. I want to help you. But you have to talk."P
Buffy stood up and pursed her lips before continuing. "That's just it Giles, I don't want to talk. I want to.just let me.let me get use to being back on my own." When Xander opened his mouth to say something she shook her head at him. "I know it's been a month. But maybe I need two months."P
"If Buffy wants time, give her time," Dawn said staring at Buffy. "After all, it's her life." She stood up and smiled, but it was more like a sneer. "Right Buffy, it's your life, only yours."P
Buffy stared at her sister in shock. She didn't understand where all this hostility was coming from. "Dawn, what's wrong?"P
"Oh, like you care now," Dawn said her eyes tearing up. "You didn't care last week, or the week before. Don't you realize that I know you don't want to be here? That you would rather be with mom and Tara. I know you hate it here, so why bother at all. Just go die, okay, go!" Dawn backed up when Buffy moved towards her. "Just go!"P
Giles stood up when Buffy turned and walked out the door. "Dawn, that was uncalled for." He started chasing after her but Willow stopped him.P
"Dawn's right Giles." She looked at everybody else for support. "Buffy has been back and she is still pissed about us bringing her back. We all know, not just Dawn, that she doesn't want to be here. Dawn was just stating the truth."P
"Yes, I understand that," Giles said glaring at her. "But sending out Buffy, at nighttime, wasn't a good idea. Especially Dawn wishing her dead. Buffy doesn't need any encouragement on that part!"P
"You don't think," Willow said softly. "Nah, Buffy isn't that kind of person."P
"Buffy Summers wasn't, but this girl, just may be," Xander said thoughtfully.
Spike walked out of the room and out the door. They could stand there and argue about Buffy, and her attitude all they want. He was going to go talk some sense into her, before she did do something stupid.P
"Are you going to stand there all night?" Buffy asked making Spike smile. She wanted conversation tonight.P
Spike walked over and sat down on the other end of the steps. He never sat right beside her. She had granted him this small favor, put the little trust she had towards him and let him sit with her. He would not make her uncomfortable by turning this into a romantic thing. Unless she instigated it of course.P
"Don't you love the moon?" she asked after a couple minutes had gone by.P
"Sure, it's a pretty sight," Spike said wondering where tonight's conversation was headed. She always had an underlying meaning.P
"There was a full moon that night," Buffy said softly. "I remember sitting on that fresh grave staring at it. Merrick standing by the tree closest to it. He knew it was a fresh grave but didn't warn me."P
"The night you were called," Spike said realization dawning. "Must have been a pretty interesting night?"P
"Yeah, but it was also the best night of my life I remember thinking," Buffy said smirking at her stupidity. "Here I was, this cheerleader who had the brains of a rock, and I now had super powers. I was a super hero."P
Spike smiled at her. "Yeah, I remember Peaches talking about your cheerleading days. Said what you lacked in talent you made up in spirit."P
Buffy shook her head. "I didn't realize it until I watched my watcher die, that I was also still that girl, that cheerleader. I was so cocky, so sure of myself, I let my watcher die protecting me." She wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I'll never forget that night. It was the night before I quit cheerleading, quit my friends, quit my boyfriend. I gave up on having both worlds and became the Slayer."P
Spike leaned back against the top step. "Well, you were a better Slayer."P
Buffy turned to face him, tears in her eyes. "I shouldn't have been. I was sixteen years old Spike. I wasn't ready to be a Slayer. I wasn't ready to save the world. I watched my best friends die, I watched my watcher die and I couldn't do anything. I was a girl playing in a demon world. I'm still that girl, now I'm just more cynical."P
Spike sighed. "Pet, you are the best Slayer that they have ever had. The Watcher's council knows that. The demon's in the world know that. You are an amazing girl too. You can't separate the two Buffy. You are both. The Slayer and the Girl. But you make it work."P
"I don't want to," Buffy said so quietly nobody should have been able to hear her but Spike had exceptional hearing.P
"You can't quit luv, this world would die without you. Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, and myself included. It was bad enough when you died. For you to just quit now, that would break us."P
Buffy looked up at the sky again. "It was so peaceful up there. I want to go back. I need to go back. This place has gotten harder. I don't know if I can make it."P
"You can Buffy, you will," Spike said already hearing someone about to break up their happy conversation.P
"Buffy!" Xander called opening the back door. He stopped when he saw Spike sitting beside his best friend. "Is he bothering you Buf?"P
Spike stood up, his welcome was short lived already. He wasn't even welcome, Buffy had never told him she wanted him here. He just came and now it was time to go. But this time, he wouldn't stay and listen for her rejection.P
"He's not bothering me Xander," Buffy said her voice sounding cold even to Spike. "He's just being a friend, and I can never have enough of those."P
Xander saw Spike freeze and watched him turn to look at the Slayer. So the vampire still loved the Slayer. Well, if Buffy wanted to play with his feelings, he wasn't going to stop her. "We need you in the living room. Scooby meeting."P
Buffy nodded but it took her another moment to stand up. "Thank you Xander, I'll be inside soon. I just want a couple more minutes out here." She waited until he had gone inside. It was close to five minutes later before she made her way to the door. Spike still stood inside the yard, staring at her. When she opened the door he turned to go.P
"Aren't you coming?" she asked pausing.P
"These meetings are for you and the gang, I'm not cut out for that sort of thing. I'm not needed there." Spike made it to the end of the yard before he heard what she said.
"I need you," Buffy said softly.P center*****/centerP
"She's so different," Xander said pacing by the fire place. "She's out there sitting with Spike acting like he's a friend. He's a vampire!"P
"He did help us while she was gone though," Willow pointed out. "And Buffy is just getting use to being back. We don't know where she's been. She's probably still sorting through whatever hell dimension she was stuck in."P
"I don't know, Xander might have a point," Giles said agreeing with the young man. "Buffy is not who we remembered. It's like a part of her is missing. I want to research the spell you guys did, find out if she had to give something up to come back."P
Willow and Tara stood up and made their way to the bookcase that held the spell they had performed. They wouldn't tell him that they had already looked it over and couldn't find anything that would explain the Slayer's change.P
"Has she patrolled since she came back?" Anya asked curiously. Xander was going out every night still with Willow and she wanted her fiancé back.P
"No, I don't feel comfortable putting her out there without her being herself," Giles said.P
"Thank you for that," Buffy said standing in the doorway from the kitchen into the living room. Spike stood behind her looking unsure of himself, which was strange for the cocky vampire.P
"Buffy, we didn't know you were here, we were just discussing." Willow said looking at everybody for help to think up some excuse.P
"Me, yeah I heard." She walked into the room reaching behind her with one hand to make sure Spike was still behind her. "I can't explain why I'm different. I feel different inside. You don't know where I was. I can't describe it." She looked at Spike. "I wish it was different guys."P
"Buffy," Giles said staring at his slayer with concern. "You are like a daughter to me. I love you more than I love myself. You know this. I want to help you. But you have to talk."P
Buffy stood up and pursed her lips before continuing. "That's just it Giles, I don't want to talk. I want to.just let me.let me get use to being back on my own." When Xander opened his mouth to say something she shook her head at him. "I know it's been a month. But maybe I need two months."P
"If Buffy wants time, give her time," Dawn said staring at Buffy. "After all, it's her life." She stood up and smiled, but it was more like a sneer. "Right Buffy, it's your life, only yours."P
Buffy stared at her sister in shock. She didn't understand where all this hostility was coming from. "Dawn, what's wrong?"P
"Oh, like you care now," Dawn said her eyes tearing up. "You didn't care last week, or the week before. Don't you realize that I know you don't want to be here? That you would rather be with mom and Tara. I know you hate it here, so why bother at all. Just go die, okay, go!" Dawn backed up when Buffy moved towards her. "Just go!"P
Giles stood up when Buffy turned and walked out the door. "Dawn, that was uncalled for." He started chasing after her but Willow stopped him.P
"Dawn's right Giles." She looked at everybody else for support. "Buffy has been back and she is still pissed about us bringing her back. We all know, not just Dawn, that she doesn't want to be here. Dawn was just stating the truth."P
"Yes, I understand that," Giles said glaring at her. "But sending out Buffy, at nighttime, wasn't a good idea. Especially Dawn wishing her dead. Buffy doesn't need any encouragement on that part!"P
"You don't think," Willow said softly. "Nah, Buffy isn't that kind of person."P
"Buffy Summers wasn't, but this girl, just may be," Xander said thoughtfully.
Spike walked out of the room and out the door. They could stand there and argue about Buffy, and her attitude all they want. He was going to go talk some sense into her, before she did do something stupid.PcenterChapter 1/centerP There she was, like always. Sitting on that back porch, staring up at the sky. He'd found her there every night. Sometimes she would talk to him. Other times she would just let him sit with her and enjoy the silence. These were the moments Spike craved. The moments he could actually pretend that she might see him as more than a demon. She could see him as a friend. As more than a friend.P
"Are you going to stand there all night?" Buffy asked making Spike smile. She wanted conversation tonight.P
Spike walked over and sat down on the other end of the steps. He never sat right beside her. She had granted him this small favor, put the little trust she had towards him and let him sit with her. He would not make her uncomfortable by turning this into a romantic thing. Unless she instigated it of course.P
"Don't you love the moon?" she asked after a couple minutes had gone by.P
"Sure, it's a pretty sight," Spike said wondering where tonight's conversation was headed. She always had an underlying meaning.P
"There was a full moon that night," Buffy said softly. "I remember sitting on that fresh grave staring at it. Merrick standing by the tree closest to it. He knew it was a fresh grave but didn't warn me."P
"The night you were called," Spike said realization dawning. "Must have been a pretty interesting night?"P
"Yeah, but it was also the best night of my life I remember thinking," Buffy said smirking at her stupidity. "Here I was, this cheerleader who had the brains of a rock, and I now had super powers. I was a super hero."P
Spike smiled at her. "Yeah, I remember Peaches talking about your cheerleading days. Said what you lacked in talent you made up in spirit."P
Buffy shook her head. "I didn't realize it until I watched my watcher die, that I was also still that girl, that cheerleader. I was so cocky, so sure of myself, I let my watcher die protecting me." She wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I'll never forget that night. It was the night before I quit cheerleading, quit my friends, quit my boyfriend. I gave up on having both worlds and became the Slayer."P
Spike leaned back against the top step. "Well, you were a better Slayer."P
Buffy turned to face him, tears in her eyes. "I shouldn't have been. I was sixteen years old Spike. I wasn't ready to be a Slayer. I wasn't ready to save the world. I watched my best friends die, I watched my watcher die and I couldn't do anything. I was a girl playing in a demon world. I'm still that girl, now I'm just more cynical."P
Spike sighed. "Pet, you are the best Slayer that they have ever had. The Watcher's council knows that. The demon's in the world know that. You are an amazing girl too. You can't separate the two Buffy. You are both. The Slayer and the Girl. But you make it work."P
"I don't want to," Buffy said so quietly nobody should have been able to hear her but Spike had exceptional hearing.P
"You can't quit luv, this world would die without you. Dawn, Willow, Xander, Giles, and myself included. It was bad enough when you died. For you to just quit now, that would break us."P
Buffy looked up at the sky again. "It was so peaceful up there. I want to go back. I need to go back. This place has gotten harder. I don't know if I can make it."P
"You can Buffy, you will," Spike said already hearing someone about to break up their happy conversation.P
"Buffy!" Xander called opening the back door. He stopped when he saw Spike sitting beside his best friend. "Is he bothering you Buf?"P
Spike stood up, his welcome was short lived already. He wasn't even welcome, Buffy had never told him she wanted him here. He just came and now it was time to go. But this time, he wouldn't stay and listen for her rejection.P
"He's not bothering me Xander," Buffy said her voice sounding cold even to Spike. "He's just being a friend, and I can never have enough of those."P
Xander saw Spike freeze and watched him turn to look at the Slayer. So the vampire still loved the Slayer. Well, if Buffy wanted to play with his feelings, he wasn't going to stop her. "We need you in the living room. Scooby meeting."P
Buffy nodded but it took her another moment to stand up. "Thank you Xander, I'll be inside soon. I just want a couple more minutes out here." She waited until he had gone inside. It was close to five minutes later before she made her way to the door. Spike still stood inside the yard, staring at her. When she opened the door he turned to go.P
"Aren't you coming?" she asked pausing.P
"These meetings are for you and the gang, I'm not cut out for that sort of thing. I'm not needed there." Spike made it to the end of the yard before he heard what she said.
"I need you," Buffy said softly.P center*****/centerP
"She's so different," Xander said pacing by the fire place. "She's out there sitting with Spike acting like he's a friend. He's a vampire!"P
"He did help us while she was gone though," Willow pointed out. "And Buffy is just getting use to being back. We don't know where she's been. She's probably still sorting through whatever hell dimension she was stuck in."P
"I don't know, Xander might have a point," Giles said agreeing with the young man. "Buffy is not who we remembered. It's like a part of her is missing. I want to research the spell you guys did, find out if she had to give something up to come back."P
Willow and Tara stood up and made their way to the bookcase that held the spell they had performed. They wouldn't tell him that they had already looked it over and couldn't find anything that would explain the Slayer's change.P
"Has she patrolled since she came back?" Anya asked curiously. Xander was going out every night still with Willow and she wanted her fiancé back.P
"No, I don't feel comfortable putting her out there without her being herself," Giles said.P
"Thank you for that," Buffy said standing in the doorway from the kitchen into the living room. Spike stood behind her looking unsure of himself, which was strange for the cocky vampire.P
"Buffy, we didn't know you were here, we were just discussing." Willow said looking at everybody for help to think up some excuse.P
"Me, yeah I heard." She walked into the room reaching behind her with one hand to make sure Spike was still behind her. "I can't explain why I'm different. I feel different inside. You don't know where I was. I can't describe it." She looked at Spike. "I wish it was different guys."P
"Buffy," Giles said staring at his slayer with concern. "You are like a daughter to me. I love you more than I love myself. You know this. I want to help you. But you have to talk."P
Buffy stood up and pursed her lips before continuing. "That's just it Giles, I don't want to talk. I want to.just let me.let me get use to being back on my own." When Xander opened his mouth to say something she shook her head at him. "I know it's been a month. But maybe I need two months."P
"If Buffy wants time, give her time," Dawn said staring at Buffy. "After all, it's her life." She stood up and smiled, but it was more like a sneer. "Right Buffy, it's your life, only yours."P
Buffy stared at her sister in shock. She didn't understand where all this hostility was coming from. "Dawn, what's wrong?"P
"Oh, like you care now," Dawn said her eyes tearing up. "You didn't care last week, or the week before. Don't you realize that I know you don't want to be here? That you would rather be with mom and Tara. I know you hate it here, so why bother at all. Just go die, okay, go!" Dawn backed up when Buffy moved towards her. "Just go!"P
Giles stood up when Buffy turned and walked out the door. "Dawn, that was uncalled for." He started chasing after her but Willow stopped him.P
"Dawn's right Giles." She looked at everybody else for support. "Buffy has been back and she is still pissed about us bringing her back. We all know, not just Dawn, that she doesn't want to be here. Dawn was just stating the truth."P
"Yes, I understand that," Giles said glaring at her. "But sending out Buffy, at nighttime, wasn't a good idea. Especially Dawn wishing her dead. Buffy doesn't need any encouragement on that part!"P
"You don't think," Willow said softly. "Nah, Buffy isn't that kind of person."P
"Buffy Summers wasn't, but this girl, just may be," Xander said thoughtfully.
Spike walked out of the room and out the door. They could stand there and argue about Buffy, and her attitude all they want. He was going to go talk some sense into her, before she did do something stupid.P