Ren walked into her house, a little paranoid that Ryder would be waiting to kick her ass around the corner. She moved her way apprehensively into the kitchen, where her mother was looking through the cupboards.

"Hi, Mama," she said quietly, a little surprised. Her mom hadn't made a meal for them in ages.

Miranda Rasmussen smiled, a little weakly. Her left eye was beginning to swell. Evidently, she'd gotten in her husband's way. "Hi Renny, how was your day?"

"Alright, thanks. What are you doing?"

"Thinking I'd like to make something for supper. Have you eaten yet? I know it's kind of late."

"No," Ren replied. "No. Do you want some help?"

Her smile grew sadder. She nodded. "I think I need some."

As she got closer to her, Ren noticed that she didn't smell alcohol on her breath for once. She looked around and saw four emptied wine bottles on the counter. Ren looked up at her, and wanted nothing more than to hug her. "Oh, thank you, Mama…"

Miranda gestured wildly, a tear slipping from her welted eye. "I was just thinking…you know…what kind of a mother am I? I don't even cook for them…so I wanted to make something for you tonight…"

"Mama, I'm proud of you," Ren murmured. "Here, let me get some ice for your eye, okay?"

"Thanks, sweetheart," she said. "You know, you've been so beautiful lately."

Dumping some ice cubes into a plastic bag, Ren smiled and handed the ice to her mom. "I never had a reason to be beautiful before."

Laughing breathily through her tears, Miranda said, "Oh, you're in love."

Ren tried not to giggle, but it didn't work. "Yeah, I guess."

"Who's the boy?"

She hesitated for a moment, but decided that her mother wouldn't react like her father would if she told the truth of who she was dating. "Chris Chambers. Do you know him?"

"I knew his mother. She was in grade twelve when I was in grade nine." She smiled. "You're dating her son?"

"Yeah." Ren shrugged. "No one's too happy about it."

"I can't imagine they would be," Miranda said truthfully. "Stigmas are hard to break."

"I know. I'm trying to break mine." She looked pleadingly at her mom. "Mama, Chris really is amazing. I don't get why everyone hates that I love him."

"Well, love's more powerful than hate, Renny. Just keep on loving him. I've never seen you shine like you do right now."

Ren squeezed her mom's hand. "Yeah, well, I never knew what you were worth before. I see now."

Later, around eleven, Ren sat cross-legged on her bed in her nightgown, leafing through an old photo album from her parents' wedding. Studying their smiles, she realized that neither of them looked really happy.

There was a knock on her door. She shoved the album under her bed--she wasn't supposed to have it in her room. Getting up, she crossed her room quickly and pulled open the door to see Ryder. "Fuck," she said, almost by way of greeting.

Ryder slipped past her into the room and shut the door behind him. "I'll say. Do you know how bad you pissed me off today, Ren?"

"Well, Ryder, it wouldn't have happened if you'd just let me pass," she shot back.

"Well, someone's gotta teach you a lesson."

She snorted incredulously and walked back to her bed, tired of talking to him.

"My own sister, fucking a Chambers," Ryder said, pushing her from behind. "You don't know how much just looking at you disgusts me because I can't help thinking how that low-life fuck's hands have been all over you--"

Ren whirled around, and pointed a shaking finger at him. Her voice seethed with anger. "Don't talk about him that way! And you're just jealous, Ryder!"

"What the hell does that mean?" he demanded.

"Ryder, I know why you've never had a girlfriend--"

"Shut up, Ren," he barked.

"--and I don't have a problem with it, I swear--"

"Shut up!"

"But it doesn't give you an excuse to be such an asshole!"

Ryder lunged at her, knocking her to the floor. When she hit the back of her head on her bedpost, she cried out and he scrambled away from her. He may have wanted to kill her a moment before, but she was still his sister.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." She rubbed her head, glaring at him viciously. "I'm sorry if the truth turns you rabid, but please don't touch me."

"I'm sorry."

They sat in silence, their backs resting against her bed.

Not looking at him, Ren said in a quick burst, "I don't care if you're gay."

Dismissing the idea of denying her words, Ryder shrugged.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of or anything," she told him, just wished he'd say something.

"That's easy for you to say. You're a girl; you're allowed to have a boyfriend." He rested his elbows on his knees and raked his hands through his soft dark hair. "I'm in high school. I can't be gay. When you're a teenager you gotta hide it and don't tell me you don't. In a small town like this, fags are fags, not real people. And I want to be somebody, Ren. I'm someone."

"Yeah, you're my brother," she said. "You're practically the other half of me."

"How did you know?" he wondered.

"Like I said, you're like the other half of me. I know you pretty well."

"Listen, Ren, I know I've been treating you like crap--"

She corrected, "You treat me like crap that's been rolled around in by a dog that just got pissed on by a larger, smellier dog."

"Granted," he admitted. "But you're not going to tell anyone, are you?"

"That would be awfully sweet revenge, wouldn't it?" She grinned at him. "Okay, I won't say a word, but on two conditions."

"Sure."

"You leave me and Chris alone. You hassle either one of us--if you even look at either of us wrong--word will spread so fast you'll have whiplash. Agreed?"

"Fine."

"Number two. You can't tell Dad about Chris."

Ryder shook his head. "I wasn't going to in the first place. He would kill you."

She nodded solemnly, knowing that that was true. If her father found out that she was going out with Chris, she would get the shit whaled out of her. "So we're good now, Ryder? It kinda sucks hating your twin."

"We're good, Ren." He smiled sardonically, and he put his head down quickly, but she still saw the tears form in his eyes. She didn't know why he was crying. She wouldn't ask. "Nothing like blackmail to mend the rifts between brother and sister."

Ren knew she still loved Ryder despite everything he did to people. He was insecure and his secret was eating him up. No wonder he believed their father when he told him he was a disappointment; Ryder thought there was something wrong with him. There was nothing wrong with him. Everything about him was what made him her brother, and she loved him for it.

She also knew that if she didn't hold his secret in her hand, he would continue hurting her. And if the tables were turned, and it was her that was trying to hide something, Ryder wouldn't hesitate to make sure the whole world could laugh at her.

However, he sat next to her, crying, and she laid his head down on her shoulder silently. They still loved each other.