Ren squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she knew where she was. Her eyes were tired and swollen from crying.

Ryder had offered to drive her to Portland, but then they discovered that their mom had taken the car. So they walked to the bus station and he made sure she got on a bus and gave her some money. He was scared to leave her alone, but she assured him she didn't want to hurt herself anymore, and she wasn't lying. That feeling had passed.

Currently she was sitting in a booth at a crusty old diner, hunched over and feeling impossibly small and vulnerable. She wasn't used to big cities like this.

"Can I get you something?"

Slowly shifting her gaze up, she saw a plump waitress standing above her. "Huh?" she murmured. "Oh. Can you bring me a cup of coffee please?"

She had never been so damn scared in all her life. Could she go back to Castle Rock? No, there was nothing there…everyone there either hated her or thought she was nuts because she'd tried to off herself. But what was she doing here? She was a fool to think she had a future waiting for her. The only thing that gave her any comfort was Chris. She tried not to think that he'd moved on to a new girl. She should have called.

Memories of him flowed passed her closed eyes. They were so alive she could almost feel his open palm pressed against her back, could almost taste him and smell him. She could almost see his blue eyes, and the way that they always looked so playful but serious. God, she loved that boy. She blinked rapidly to stop the tears from coming again.

Why had she let him go? None of this would have happened if she had just believed him when he promised he loved her. Why did she have to love hurting herself so much?

"Here you go, Miss. Anything else?" The waitress set a cup of coffee on the table in front of her.

"You wouldn't happen to have a cigarette on you, would you?" she asked abruptly. Ren had never smoked in all her life, but she was craving one right then.

"This is a non-smoking section, honey."

"Okay. Can I get a cigarette and a table in the smoking section?"

"Augh, it's the wolfman!"

"Huh?" Chris said, passing by Grace Reynolds on his way to his seat in his Poly Sci class.

"Oh, it's you. Hi Chris." She flashed him an innocently coy smile.

"Okay, so I have to shave, leave me alone," he laughed.

Grace was awfully cute. Her smile could light up an entire room, and the best part about her was that she didn't seem to know how pretty she was. Chris had been trying to work up the courage to ask her out, but hadn't yet. He still missed Ren. He was still waiting for her to call.

He knew she never would.

Today. Today he would ask Grace out. He hoped.

After seventy minutes of their prof's droning, Chris picked up his books, rehearsing what he was going to say in his mind.

"Hey, Chris?"

Startled, he looked up and saw Grace standing in front of him nervously. "Hi, Grace."

"You don't have to say yes, but um, do you want to go out for a cup of coffee with me tonight?"

He would have said yes until his gaze met her chocolate brown eyes and he realized how badly he wished they were like Ren's…beautiful, like caramel. He would never be able to look into Grace's eyes without wishing it was Ren looking back at him.

"Oh, um…" He coughed into his hand. "Um, I'm really sorry Grace, but I have a girlfriend."

"It's okay. Sorry." She looked down at the floor, disappointed.

"Thanks though. I have to go. See you around, alright?" He walked briskly from the room and angrily berated himself. You do not have a girlfriend, you asshole, she's gone.

He couldn't keep on waiting for Ren like this.