Questions for the Birds and Bees
By: DekotaSkye
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, the Jim Henson Company does, and.whoever else. Just using them for a moment. FBF for her great suggestions and Beta.any other mistakes are mine. Rated: PG-shippy
Aeryn sighed and snuggled deeper into his side, her head half on his lap. He was sitting up in bed writing in his journal, which would later turn into a book and possibly a movie, he chuckled softly. After he took a nice long bath in the whirlpool---which he constantly tried to cajole Aeryn into join him---she teasingly shook her head and went to take a shower. Afterward she joined John in bed, she crawled naked under the covers next to him and promptly fell asleep.
Not even his soft chuckles had any effect on her. He just loved it when he could keep her up all night and the kids kept her busy in the daytime. The woman had stamina, but even the all might Peacekeepers had their limitations. He chuckled again.
John sighed as her soft forearm cradled his waist over the loose T-shirt he was wearing. She murmured something unintelligible just before the gentle puffs of air starting again, indicating she was once more in La-la-Land.
He gazed down at her. She was a physically stunning awake, but even more captivating asleep. That was when the sheer loveliness of her body could be appreciated simply for itself. Her long, thick lashes made a dark crescent on her high cheekbones. The straight, even nose and perfectly chiseled lips were the ideal foil for her beguiling dimple.Dimple? She must be dreaming of something very pleasing.
As if to give credence to his evaluation, she moaned softly in the back of her throat, exhaling steadily in her sleep. The small currents of her hot breath through the thin material of his T-shirt gave him goose bumps. He shook himself. No time for that; I have to work! So he went back to staring into space.
Soon he blithely wrote in his journal while his mind wandered on to more mundane topics. What if Aeryanna and Ian slip back into Pilot's Den to once more ask him about sex? He sniggered to himself. The embarrassment on Pilot's face had been too much. John looked down at the paper and frowned. His mind must have really been traveling, for his work had several misspelled words. Letters that didn't belong were popping up everywhere.
Shrugging, he fixed the mistakes and went back to writing, looking off into space every now and then as he thought of the children's 'Quest' according to Pilot's recordings.
************************
A small voice rose from behind Pilot's console. "Pilot, can I ask you a question?"
Pausing, he saw two pair of innocent eyes peeking up at him. 'Where did they come from?'
"Aeryanna. Ian. It is good to see you. Why aren't you in bed?"
"We're not sleepy. Pilot, can you tell Aeryanna what you told me?" Ian asked.
His mind raced over the many conversations he had with the children. A horrifying thought flickered across his mind. Looking over at the children, who had crawled onto his console, he wondered if he could comm someone to take them back to bed.
"What question would that be?" He asked hesitantly.
"Why does Daddy make Mommy scream?"
Aeryanna trained her full attention onto him. "Yeah, Ian said you told him it was interrelationship. What do you mean by that?"
Ian shot his sister an annoyed look. "No, he called it natural science."
"So it is the same difference," she snapped back.
"It's not."
"How would you know? You can't even say interrelationship. You don't have a clue what it means." She said with older-sister-superiority.
"You don't either!" He accused hotly.
"I do too."
"Do not."
"I do too."
"Do no."
Pilot eyes played back and forward growing dizzy over the hot exchange. Clearing his throat he said loudly.
"Aeryanna. Ian. Please, you had a question for me to answer did you not?"
Both children turned their eyes back to him sheepishly. Aeryanna bowed her head and said in a diminutive voice.
"I'm sorry, Pilot. Its just sometimes small brothers are a pain in the eema."
Ian jumped to his knees and pointed at Aeryanna. "I'm going to tell Mommy that you said a bad word."
"I didn't."
"Did too."
"Ian, ask me your question." Pilot got in before they started arguing again.
Ian sat back down, giving his sister a dirty look. "Why does Daddy make Mommy scream?"
It was, as he had feared; only now Aeryanna was here and he felt this situation was only going to get worse with questions from both. Moya felt Pilot's apprehension. She spoke to him giving him advice that in turn gave him some confidence.
Sighing, he said. "It's call the laws of nature as your father once described it to me."
Ian turned his head in puzzlement. "What is nature?"
"The living things."
"Such as us?" Aeryanna supplied with understanding.
"Yes."
"What does that have to do with Mommy screaming?" Ian asked again.
Aeryanna shot Ian an impatient look. "Let him finish." Turning her attention back to Pilot. "Okay, but what does that have to do with working out?"
Swallowing hard, Pilot resolved that no one was going to come and rescue him from these questions.
"Pilot, do you know about workouts?" Aeryanna asked.
"It has to do with the biology of a species."
"As in natural science?" Aeryanna asked. Perplexed the children looked at each other then back at him.
Ian screwed up his face taking a deep breath and asked. "I still don't understand about Daddy and Mommy screaming."
"Have you asked your parents?"
Pilot glanced down at his instruments hoping a Peacekeeper ship would come within range so he could alert the crew.
"Yeah, they said we were too young," Aeryanna bemoaned.
Pilot remained quiet hoping the children would grow tried and go back to their chambers. But it wasn't to be just as he feared.
"We asked Uncle D'Argo and he didn't know either. I think Chiana is trying teach him." Aeryanna brighten up. "Pilot, can Moya tell us?"
He froze; an astonished expression came on his face.
"Yeah, Pilot, she would know wouldn't she?" Ian brightened up too.
"Its not .she's not." Pilot stumbled trying not to panic.
Ian and Aeryanna grew concerned; each reached over and patted him on the arms.
"Its okay, Pilot, you don't have to ask her if you are too embarrassed."
Once more Aeryanna grew thoughtful. A smile came over her face. Silently Pilot moaned. His hands flew over the console faster pressing a series of controls hoping someone in the crew would understand his transmittance for help.
"Can you tell us scientifically about workouts?"
Ian not wanting to be left out spoke up. "What does workout mean in sciencey words?"
"I believe the word you are looking for is sex." He looked in between the two and said quickly. "It is a biological function for every species. It is the sum of the structural, functional, and behavioral characteristics of living things that are involved in reproduction."
The expression on Aeryanna made Pilot think of her father. Her thumb unconsciously went up to her chin as she thought on what he had said.
"What is it to be in a interrelationship?"
"Your parents have a mutual relationship."
"Do you mean because Daddy and Mommy like each other they like having sex?" Ian asked.
Pilot once more looked toward the doorway wondering why it was taking the crewmembers so long getting here. Not knowing what else to do he answered.
"Yes."
"What about physics?" Aeryanna inquired.
Confused Pilot remained quiet. Aeryanna was willing to explain further.
"Daddy was teaching Mommy a theory about physics."
"Yeah, Mommy screamed and Daddy laughed. Why?" Ian butted in.
"You're going to have to ask your parents. Each species are different." Pilot hastily said.
Looking disappointed they lapsed into silence. All of them heard the door open. Turning, they saw their father standing there with his hands on his hips. Sighing both of the children climbed down after saying goodnight to Pilot.
John wanted until they had filed past him that he looked back at Pilot. "Sorry about this Pilot and thanks for alerting me without them knowing. I'll see you in the morning to get a full report."
"No, problem, Commander. I'll send a DRD down to your quarters for you and Aeryn to review the situation. We hope you might be able to help Moya and I find better ways to handle these discussions."
A smile lurked on John's face. "Sure, but in the morning okay?"
"Of course."
After Crichton left, Pilot let his body sag with relief. Moya spoke softly to him with amusement. Pilot was confused. He just could not understand why she found this situation so amusing. When he inquired she remained silent forcing him to figure out about inquisitive children on his own.
*********************
John started to chuckle when he felt a sharp poke in his side. He shifted his focus to his innocently sleeping wife. A mischievous slender finger poked him again. 'Ah, you want to play.'
"Aeryn," he singsong tenderly.
She smiled into his midriff. "Whaaat?"
And here he'd thought she had been sleeping, he should have known better.
"Can't you sleep?" He asked innocently.
"Not when you shake the bed," she said, as an exasperated gust of air sailed past her lips. "What is so frelling funny anyway?"
"Aeryanna. Pilot. Ian. The birds and the bees." He said each word slowly.
"What do these birds and bees got to do with their sex talk.mpf!"
John grabbed her gorgeous face between his hands and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Just because.
She blinked slowly when he released her. "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining." She lifted her face, hoping for another serving.
"That is the question for the birds and bees." He planted second helping, which was eagerly received. "I love you."
Aeryn sucked in her breath. "Totally nonlinear, John," she breathed. "Now what do you mean question for the birds and bees?"
"Workouts, baby."
"Workouts?" Her lips twitched. "You mean the questions that the kids have been asking everyone? What do the birds and bees have to do with sex?"
"Oh, baby."
Finis
By: DekotaSkye
DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters, the Jim Henson Company does, and.whoever else. Just using them for a moment. FBF for her great suggestions and Beta.any other mistakes are mine. Rated: PG-shippy
Aeryn sighed and snuggled deeper into his side, her head half on his lap. He was sitting up in bed writing in his journal, which would later turn into a book and possibly a movie, he chuckled softly. After he took a nice long bath in the whirlpool---which he constantly tried to cajole Aeryn into join him---she teasingly shook her head and went to take a shower. Afterward she joined John in bed, she crawled naked under the covers next to him and promptly fell asleep.
Not even his soft chuckles had any effect on her. He just loved it when he could keep her up all night and the kids kept her busy in the daytime. The woman had stamina, but even the all might Peacekeepers had their limitations. He chuckled again.
John sighed as her soft forearm cradled his waist over the loose T-shirt he was wearing. She murmured something unintelligible just before the gentle puffs of air starting again, indicating she was once more in La-la-Land.
He gazed down at her. She was a physically stunning awake, but even more captivating asleep. That was when the sheer loveliness of her body could be appreciated simply for itself. Her long, thick lashes made a dark crescent on her high cheekbones. The straight, even nose and perfectly chiseled lips were the ideal foil for her beguiling dimple.Dimple? She must be dreaming of something very pleasing.
As if to give credence to his evaluation, she moaned softly in the back of her throat, exhaling steadily in her sleep. The small currents of her hot breath through the thin material of his T-shirt gave him goose bumps. He shook himself. No time for that; I have to work! So he went back to staring into space.
Soon he blithely wrote in his journal while his mind wandered on to more mundane topics. What if Aeryanna and Ian slip back into Pilot's Den to once more ask him about sex? He sniggered to himself. The embarrassment on Pilot's face had been too much. John looked down at the paper and frowned. His mind must have really been traveling, for his work had several misspelled words. Letters that didn't belong were popping up everywhere.
Shrugging, he fixed the mistakes and went back to writing, looking off into space every now and then as he thought of the children's 'Quest' according to Pilot's recordings.
************************
A small voice rose from behind Pilot's console. "Pilot, can I ask you a question?"
Pausing, he saw two pair of innocent eyes peeking up at him. 'Where did they come from?'
"Aeryanna. Ian. It is good to see you. Why aren't you in bed?"
"We're not sleepy. Pilot, can you tell Aeryanna what you told me?" Ian asked.
His mind raced over the many conversations he had with the children. A horrifying thought flickered across his mind. Looking over at the children, who had crawled onto his console, he wondered if he could comm someone to take them back to bed.
"What question would that be?" He asked hesitantly.
"Why does Daddy make Mommy scream?"
Aeryanna trained her full attention onto him. "Yeah, Ian said you told him it was interrelationship. What do you mean by that?"
Ian shot his sister an annoyed look. "No, he called it natural science."
"So it is the same difference," she snapped back.
"It's not."
"How would you know? You can't even say interrelationship. You don't have a clue what it means." She said with older-sister-superiority.
"You don't either!" He accused hotly.
"I do too."
"Do not."
"I do too."
"Do no."
Pilot eyes played back and forward growing dizzy over the hot exchange. Clearing his throat he said loudly.
"Aeryanna. Ian. Please, you had a question for me to answer did you not?"
Both children turned their eyes back to him sheepishly. Aeryanna bowed her head and said in a diminutive voice.
"I'm sorry, Pilot. Its just sometimes small brothers are a pain in the eema."
Ian jumped to his knees and pointed at Aeryanna. "I'm going to tell Mommy that you said a bad word."
"I didn't."
"Did too."
"Ian, ask me your question." Pilot got in before they started arguing again.
Ian sat back down, giving his sister a dirty look. "Why does Daddy make Mommy scream?"
It was, as he had feared; only now Aeryanna was here and he felt this situation was only going to get worse with questions from both. Moya felt Pilot's apprehension. She spoke to him giving him advice that in turn gave him some confidence.
Sighing, he said. "It's call the laws of nature as your father once described it to me."
Ian turned his head in puzzlement. "What is nature?"
"The living things."
"Such as us?" Aeryanna supplied with understanding.
"Yes."
"What does that have to do with Mommy screaming?" Ian asked again.
Aeryanna shot Ian an impatient look. "Let him finish." Turning her attention back to Pilot. "Okay, but what does that have to do with working out?"
Swallowing hard, Pilot resolved that no one was going to come and rescue him from these questions.
"Pilot, do you know about workouts?" Aeryanna asked.
"It has to do with the biology of a species."
"As in natural science?" Aeryanna asked. Perplexed the children looked at each other then back at him.
Ian screwed up his face taking a deep breath and asked. "I still don't understand about Daddy and Mommy screaming."
"Have you asked your parents?"
Pilot glanced down at his instruments hoping a Peacekeeper ship would come within range so he could alert the crew.
"Yeah, they said we were too young," Aeryanna bemoaned.
Pilot remained quiet hoping the children would grow tried and go back to their chambers. But it wasn't to be just as he feared.
"We asked Uncle D'Argo and he didn't know either. I think Chiana is trying teach him." Aeryanna brighten up. "Pilot, can Moya tell us?"
He froze; an astonished expression came on his face.
"Yeah, Pilot, she would know wouldn't she?" Ian brightened up too.
"Its not .she's not." Pilot stumbled trying not to panic.
Ian and Aeryanna grew concerned; each reached over and patted him on the arms.
"Its okay, Pilot, you don't have to ask her if you are too embarrassed."
Once more Aeryanna grew thoughtful. A smile came over her face. Silently Pilot moaned. His hands flew over the console faster pressing a series of controls hoping someone in the crew would understand his transmittance for help.
"Can you tell us scientifically about workouts?"
Ian not wanting to be left out spoke up. "What does workout mean in sciencey words?"
"I believe the word you are looking for is sex." He looked in between the two and said quickly. "It is a biological function for every species. It is the sum of the structural, functional, and behavioral characteristics of living things that are involved in reproduction."
The expression on Aeryanna made Pilot think of her father. Her thumb unconsciously went up to her chin as she thought on what he had said.
"What is it to be in a interrelationship?"
"Your parents have a mutual relationship."
"Do you mean because Daddy and Mommy like each other they like having sex?" Ian asked.
Pilot once more looked toward the doorway wondering why it was taking the crewmembers so long getting here. Not knowing what else to do he answered.
"Yes."
"What about physics?" Aeryanna inquired.
Confused Pilot remained quiet. Aeryanna was willing to explain further.
"Daddy was teaching Mommy a theory about physics."
"Yeah, Mommy screamed and Daddy laughed. Why?" Ian butted in.
"You're going to have to ask your parents. Each species are different." Pilot hastily said.
Looking disappointed they lapsed into silence. All of them heard the door open. Turning, they saw their father standing there with his hands on his hips. Sighing both of the children climbed down after saying goodnight to Pilot.
John wanted until they had filed past him that he looked back at Pilot. "Sorry about this Pilot and thanks for alerting me without them knowing. I'll see you in the morning to get a full report."
"No, problem, Commander. I'll send a DRD down to your quarters for you and Aeryn to review the situation. We hope you might be able to help Moya and I find better ways to handle these discussions."
A smile lurked on John's face. "Sure, but in the morning okay?"
"Of course."
After Crichton left, Pilot let his body sag with relief. Moya spoke softly to him with amusement. Pilot was confused. He just could not understand why she found this situation so amusing. When he inquired she remained silent forcing him to figure out about inquisitive children on his own.
*********************
John started to chuckle when he felt a sharp poke in his side. He shifted his focus to his innocently sleeping wife. A mischievous slender finger poked him again. 'Ah, you want to play.'
"Aeryn," he singsong tenderly.
She smiled into his midriff. "Whaaat?"
And here he'd thought she had been sleeping, he should have known better.
"Can't you sleep?" He asked innocently.
"Not when you shake the bed," she said, as an exasperated gust of air sailed past her lips. "What is so frelling funny anyway?"
"Aeryanna. Pilot. Ian. The birds and the bees." He said each word slowly.
"What do these birds and bees got to do with their sex talk.mpf!"
John grabbed her gorgeous face between his hands and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Just because.
She blinked slowly when he released her. "What was that for? Not that I'm complaining." She lifted her face, hoping for another serving.
"That is the question for the birds and bees." He planted second helping, which was eagerly received. "I love you."
Aeryn sucked in her breath. "Totally nonlinear, John," she breathed. "Now what do you mean question for the birds and bees?"
"Workouts, baby."
"Workouts?" Her lips twitched. "You mean the questions that the kids have been asking everyone? What do the birds and bees have to do with sex?"
"Oh, baby."
Finis