Without Him

Rating- G- minor angst, nothing big

Dis.- Hmmm….I OWN LOTR! Mwahahaha! Actually, no.

A/N- This IS NOT the sequel to Why. It just happens to have something to do with it. So it will help to read it. Actually, you really do need to. Otherwise, you won't get this.

Timeframe- 10 years after Why, at the time of the joining of the Fellowship.

Why

Part 1

"Let it be so then. You shall go, said Elrond, and he sighed. "Now the tale of the Nine is filled. In seven days the company must depart."

Legolas sighed.

*Aragorn would've come. But he can't. And neither can I.*

Lenwe smiled as she saw her brother and twin. They met in the hall and walked to Legolas' rooms.

"So, what happened?" Lenwe smiled to cheer her tired brother.

Legolas dull silver eyes stared at the stone wall, unseeing.

"I was called on to join the Fellowship of the Ring. We leave in seven days."

"Who are your companions?" Lenwe struggled to keep the worry out of her voice. She hoped that someone she knew was traveling with Legolas. He still blamed himself for Aragorn's death, unwilling to completely move on. He was stuck in the nightmare.

"Four Hobbits, one was called Frodo. The others I cannot remember."

"Who else?" Lenwe tried to remain calm, but she needed to know.

"A Gondorian named Boromir, and Mithrandir."

*Mithrandir. That's good. He knows of Legolas' condition.*

Legolas caught his breath and continued.

"A Dwarf, Gimli. And one more, Laswe. An Elf from Lothlorien."

Lenwe glanced at her twin. Once, he had been the mirror image of herself. Now he was pale and thin, and while the healers said he was in top physical condition, he didn't look it at all.

"You don't want to go," Lenwe said.

"No." Legolas stared at the floor.

"Legolas, why?"

Legolas, still staring, answered.

'At night I dream. I see Aragorn, fighting the orcs, other times sitting by a fire. The dreams, they haunt me. But then…then…" He broke off, trembling.

He took a deep breath and continued.

"He looks up at me, glares at me, hates me. He jumps to kill me. But then…I…" he stopped again.

"Go on." Lenwe barely had the strength to say those two words. She could feel her twin's pain.

"I kill him."

And all emotion left him. He dropped his eyes back to the floor.

***

The next day

"Elrond, please. Legolas is not well. You cannot ask him to journey with the Fellowship," Lenwe begged. Legolas had refused to rise from bed. His eyes were dull and full of pain.

"Aragorn."

The Elf lord faced the window, staring as Legolas did so often now.

"You worry for him. You are afraid he will collapse one day and refuse to stand. You know he has tried to kill himself before."

"You are afraid to leave him."

Lenwe looked at the back of the great Elf lord and knew. Elrond was wasting away.

"Elrond, he needs rest. We must find someone else." Lenwe begged, the need apparent in her eyes.

"I miss him too." Elrond sighed.

"Find a replacement and I will consider it."

"I already have."

"Who?"

"Me."