A child torn to nightmare in a rocking cradle
A child so frail and desperately unable
A thousand times a shadow in the corner which I stand
Under your gargantuan dreams, I feel unclean
To devour and tame my own bruised heart
Riddled and beaten with blooded butterfly wings
Blooded Butterfly Wings
Part 1
Live to Lose
How long?
The wall smelled like old paint.
How long?
She could feel her nose touching the wall.
How long?
The wall smelled like mildew.
Longer than all the years in the world.
Infinity, and then the void beyond that.
She had forgotten her name. She answered only to the name they called.
"Hey Red-Trash!"
Red.
Like her hair.
Like the dead.
Like Rei's eyes as she stared ahead.
Occasionally she laughed. She laughed while they beat her. Then they beat her more.
She worried they would kill her.
Then she would have no one to talk with.
Even the mentally disturbed can have conversation.
But she'd forgotten.
She'd forgotten to brush her hair again.
She'd forgotten it every day she lacked a brush to comb through it.
She'd forgotten to take a bath.
She'd forgotten it every day since that night.
She'd forgotten to change her clothes.
They still had the bloodstains on them.
The wall smelled like mold.
She could remember his name, though. The boy she had left behind. The boy they had shot while they made her watch. The boy they called the Devil's Son in all their references to her past. If he were still alive today, would he remember her name?
If she were still alive again, could she remember it herself?
The wall smelled like dirt.
They told her the only way to repent was to be taken from the sin, and to kill the other sinners. They told her he could not be saved. They told her he was evil. They told her that he was killing the art of God. They told her that she could repent. They told her that she could live, and he could die.
The room smelled like blood.
She remembered his name.
She remember it, because it was the last word she said.
It screamed over and over in her head.
His name. Shinji.
His blood on her dress.
She wasn't allowed to open her eyes, but she must stay awake. They wouldn't let her sleep. She could not cry. She knew she couldn't.
He pulled her hair.
"Hey Red-Trash! You hear me?"
Yes, David, I hear you.
"Answer me you little bitch!"
Oh, but David, don't you remember? I'm the little silent whore. The one you've taken to your bed many times. Oh, and we were caught. We, but it was blamed on me. I was the one beaten for the rape. I am the one who suffered ten-fold when you touched my breasts and opened my stained dress. I don't talk remember?
You don't remember my silence.
I don't remember my name.
His breath smelled of onions.
"Open your fucking eyes!"
She did. Oh, how she wished she hadn't. Behind her eyes, she could see a thousand worlds. She could see the table. She could see the dishes. She could see the shower and his bed on the floor where he slept. She could see the tiny headphones that were always in his ears. She could see the gleam off his hair.
But, here, she saw the horror. She saw the pain. The nightmare of this place could rupture a thousand hearts.
SHINJI!!
She continued to stare ahead in her fascination with the ugliness of this place.
SHINJI!! HELP ME!!
HELP ME PLEASE!!
"You are supposed to be reading, you little bitch!"
She felt the thick book hit her back. It pulled open the scabs and scars there. She felt the hot life flow down her shoulder blades and seep into the dress.
But it did not override his stains.
She touched the old blood once before she picked up the Bible.
SHINJI!!
She had struggled against their hands. She wanted to hold him, to make sure he knew before he left her alone. They didn't let her near him. Her whole form had been restrained, her arm broken in the process. They had never fixed it. It was slightly crooked, and it still hurt her.
The pain shot up her arm as she picked up the massive book. She did not wince. She had learned not to. She'd forgotten how to move her face. She'd forgotten how to speak.
She wished she'd forgotten his name as well.
For what is the use of knowing an angel when trapped in the fingers of Hell?
Wow, the first parts are always fun. Review me. I'll give you a cookie if you do…