A/N: I'm not sure why I'm posting this, but it just sort of spilled out of me one night, and I thought I'd stick it up here and see what happened.
Along with being a Lord of the Rings geek, I'm also obsessed with poetry. Why am I telling you this? Well, a lot of times people find that journalling is a good tool for their private devotional time. But when I journal, it always ends up coming out in a rather poetical way – I can't help it! So this is just what I spilled out to God one night. It may be melodramatic or cheesy, I don't know, but it's what came out…
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My heart is melting inside of me – I am no innocent
Dark shadows lace through my heart from all directions
You bring the light, but it frightens me
I blink, dazed, and scurry back into shadow…
I feel like a child of the night, and yet I hear Your gentle
Persistent voice calling me
You tell me that I am wrong – that the darkness cannot hold me
As long as You are with me.
But You cannot be with me unless I let You come near.
So funny; that my will should hold You back –
You, the creator of my will.
You stand there – patient, knocking
Waiting for Your sheep to hear Your voice
And there I am. The stupid sheep.
Bleating helplessly and not willing to move
For fear of falling.
But I have already fallen –
I've collapsed at Your feet
My only hope is to admit my own hopelessness.
I am so tired of trying to be brave
I know nothing and see nothing
I have propelled myself from a cliff since birth
And the only end in sight is the cold hard ground
And the expectation of oblivion…
Somone once told me that faith is jumping off a cliff
Knowing that You will either catch me
Or teach me how to fly
It will be a miracle either way
My wings are crumpled…
Please catch me
~Isaiah 40:31, "Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles…"~