+ Tittle Narcotic Love +
******************************
Written by PinkSpider
Notes: POC of Ran. Shounen ai, hints of sex between two male characters.
Pairing: BradxRan
******************************
If you really love someone
You'll set him free
Because you want him to be happy
To be able to search for his happiness
To find his own happiness
Because his happiness cannot be found in you.
--------------
Even with her eyes brimming with tears, she forces a smile, as if trying to convey her deepest and most sincere blessing. She gazes in my eyes, her sight lingering, wanting to have a moment more of remembrance, so that she will be able to at least take a part of me with her always. Her eyes are like sapphire, glittering with warmth under the setting sun of autumn. In any other situation, the scene would almost be romantic, with the falling of the leaves from the trees growing along the sidewalk. It is almost a pity it has to end this way.
" I wish you happiness."
With that, she turns her back to me, slowly walking away from me. Of course. There is no longer any reason for her to stay anyway. I really should be getting on my way. Things need to be done; the flowers have to be watered soon, Omi will be coming home from school, dinner needs to be prepared, the house needs tidying up, especially Ken's soccer den..
But somehow, I can't bring myself to move. So I just stand there, under the majestic tree which showers me with dried leaves, her last words still echoing in my head.
'I wish you happiness.'
Such noble words, but even from a distance, I can see her slight figure trembling with suppressed emotions, her long ebony hair flowing gracefully behind her as she starts from a walk, to a slow jog, to finally, a sprint; a sprint away from the heartbreaking reality.
For the first time in a very long time, I feel guilty. Guilty for making her fall in love with me, guilty for allowing her to think that I returned her feelings, guilty for rejecting her, guilty for breaking her heart. I had known of her feelings for me, and yet I allowed her to continue, to sink deeper in this impossible love. I suddenly realize how selfish I had been. Just because she looks like Aya-chan, just because she was there when I needed her, because she comforted me when I was feeling depressed. I realize I like her, like having her around, like hearing her voice, like hearing her voicing her thoughts. But I will never love her the way I do you, never feel nervous when she is around, never feel the same quickening of heartbeat when I am with you, never feel the same completeness when I am with you. Never desire, if not you.
So I stand under the tree of falling leaves, missing you. It has been a while since I last saw you. 3 months and 2 weeks to be exact. I have almost forgotten what your lips feel like, how your hands fit so perfectly with mine.
Gazing off into the horizon where she has disappeared, I can almost understand what she feels. Love, after all, is the most complex feeling any human can experience.
I wonder if I could be so generous and let you go when you cease loving me.
Closing my eyes, I turn away from the sight of the empty walkway, strolling slowly back to the koneko, where dinner is still waiting, and the flowers still need watering.
I will probably kill you, then kill myself, so that the promise that I have made to myself can be kept.
'I will love you till the day one of us die.'
So I will kill you to stop loving you. But I know I will still die in the end, because I can no longer live without you.
+Tsuzuku+
*******************************************************************
Gomen. I did not realize that writing would be so difficult these days. My tutors are squeezing my imagination and free time dry with all the crap about family essay. Just finished a GP essay today on "Technology has had a significant impact of the family. Discuss.". I would probably flunk it. I suck at writing arguments.
Argh. feeling stressed out. But know you guys had been waiting for a long time. Take it as a treat, or apology from me. ^__^'' It'll be a while before the next chapter though.
And yea, I'll be going clubbing tomorrow. Haha.
PinkSpider.
Thanks to all who had reviewed and hence, encouraged me to continue writing. ^__^
******************************
Written by PinkSpider
Notes: POC of Ran. Shounen ai, hints of sex between two male characters.
Pairing: BradxRan
******************************
If you really love someone
You'll set him free
Because you want him to be happy
To be able to search for his happiness
To find his own happiness
Because his happiness cannot be found in you.
--------------
Even with her eyes brimming with tears, she forces a smile, as if trying to convey her deepest and most sincere blessing. She gazes in my eyes, her sight lingering, wanting to have a moment more of remembrance, so that she will be able to at least take a part of me with her always. Her eyes are like sapphire, glittering with warmth under the setting sun of autumn. In any other situation, the scene would almost be romantic, with the falling of the leaves from the trees growing along the sidewalk. It is almost a pity it has to end this way.
" I wish you happiness."
With that, she turns her back to me, slowly walking away from me. Of course. There is no longer any reason for her to stay anyway. I really should be getting on my way. Things need to be done; the flowers have to be watered soon, Omi will be coming home from school, dinner needs to be prepared, the house needs tidying up, especially Ken's soccer den..
But somehow, I can't bring myself to move. So I just stand there, under the majestic tree which showers me with dried leaves, her last words still echoing in my head.
'I wish you happiness.'
Such noble words, but even from a distance, I can see her slight figure trembling with suppressed emotions, her long ebony hair flowing gracefully behind her as she starts from a walk, to a slow jog, to finally, a sprint; a sprint away from the heartbreaking reality.
For the first time in a very long time, I feel guilty. Guilty for making her fall in love with me, guilty for allowing her to think that I returned her feelings, guilty for rejecting her, guilty for breaking her heart. I had known of her feelings for me, and yet I allowed her to continue, to sink deeper in this impossible love. I suddenly realize how selfish I had been. Just because she looks like Aya-chan, just because she was there when I needed her, because she comforted me when I was feeling depressed. I realize I like her, like having her around, like hearing her voice, like hearing her voicing her thoughts. But I will never love her the way I do you, never feel nervous when she is around, never feel the same quickening of heartbeat when I am with you, never feel the same completeness when I am with you. Never desire, if not you.
So I stand under the tree of falling leaves, missing you. It has been a while since I last saw you. 3 months and 2 weeks to be exact. I have almost forgotten what your lips feel like, how your hands fit so perfectly with mine.
Gazing off into the horizon where she has disappeared, I can almost understand what she feels. Love, after all, is the most complex feeling any human can experience.
I wonder if I could be so generous and let you go when you cease loving me.
Closing my eyes, I turn away from the sight of the empty walkway, strolling slowly back to the koneko, where dinner is still waiting, and the flowers still need watering.
I will probably kill you, then kill myself, so that the promise that I have made to myself can be kept.
'I will love you till the day one of us die.'
So I will kill you to stop loving you. But I know I will still die in the end, because I can no longer live without you.
+Tsuzuku+
*******************************************************************
Gomen. I did not realize that writing would be so difficult these days. My tutors are squeezing my imagination and free time dry with all the crap about family essay. Just finished a GP essay today on "Technology has had a significant impact of the family. Discuss.". I would probably flunk it. I suck at writing arguments.
Argh. feeling stressed out. But know you guys had been waiting for a long time. Take it as a treat, or apology from me. ^__^'' It'll be a while before the next chapter though.
And yea, I'll be going clubbing tomorrow. Haha.
PinkSpider.
Thanks to all who had reviewed and hence, encouraged me to continue writing. ^__^