It was still early in the morning when RS and Bigg clambered into
Bigg's beat-up '86 Chevy Gallante. "Jesus Bigg- when the hell are you going
to clean out this thing?" RS asked, noting the trash strewn all over the
floor. "Clean out my car? Why not just ask me to put the seat down too?"
Bigg replied. "Well, it would be nice to NOT sit in a bowl of toilet water
every morning," RS muttered. Suddenly, a ball of golden fur darted from the
back seat and onto Bigg's lap. "Mornin' Skooge," Biggs said, petting the
blond kitten as he started the car. "Mroow!" Skooge meowed happily,
nuzzling Bigg's stomach.
"Can we go already?" RS yelled. "Fine, fine, Mr. McBossy," Bigg muttered. Skooge hissed at RS as they pulled out of the driveway. After a few minutes, the small houses were replaced by large buildings as they entered the down town district. They pulled up next to a fairly large apartment complex. Bigg started beeping the horn in an odd sequence. "HEY- WILL YOU SHUT UP!!?" A voice roared from across the street. Bigg stopped beeping the horn and yelled back "WHAT?!" "STOP BEEPING THE DAMN HORN YOU IDIOTIC YAHOO!!" The stranger yelled back. "WHY DON'T YOU COME DOWN AND MAKE ME, OLD MAN!!?" Bigg challenged. The guy disappeared from the window. "I showed him, didn't I Skooge?" Bigg asked, rubbing his nose against Skooge's.
"In retrospect, that might not have been the best course of action," RS said. "Eh? How so?" Bigg asked. RS pointed across the street at the man who was now approaching the car with a baseball bat. "Oh crap," Bigg squeaked as the man came closer. On the other side of the car, Faye was stepping out her front door. She was a petite girl with short black hair, light blue eyes and freckles. She looked quizzically at the man with the baseball bat as RS screamed, "FAYE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET IN THE CAR!!" Faye frantically scrambled into the back seat and Bigg pushed on the gas hard. The man with the baseball bat jumped out of the way to avoid getting hit. RS hooted as they sped onto the empty freeway.
"Must you bother my neighbors every time you guys come to my house? My landlord got eight petitions on the last month to ban both of you from the apartment complex!" Faye said, giggling slightly. "No offense, but your neighbors are idiots," Bigg said. "Says the man who Eskimo-kisses his cat every five minutes," RS replied. "Hey- there is NOTHING wrong with showing your affection for a loved one. Isn't that right, Skooge?" Bigg retorted as Skooge purred deeply. "So what's the itinerary for the trip?" Faye asked. "Well, I figure if we make one stop in about an hour and have light traffic, we can make it there at about 11:30," RS said. "Yeah. Then we change at the convention and wait around for Isaac so we can get his autograph," Bigg finished. "Are you still going to try to hit on Mia?" Faye asked RS. "Yeah, but I need a good pick-up line.." RS said. "How about 'do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes'," Bigg suggested. "How about that's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard in my life?" RS retorted.
"Why don't you try 'Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day!'," Faye asked. "Ok, THAT'S the cheesiest thing I've ever heard," RS said. "You must be Jamaican, 'cause Jamaican me crazy!" Bigg recommended. "No," RS replied. "If you were words on a page, you'd be FINE PRINT!" Faye yelled. "Oh God no," RS sighed. "If you were a laser, you'd be set on 'stunning'," Bigg yelped. "I'm thinking.. no," RS said. "Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle!" Faye hooted. "You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King- you treat me right, and I'll do it your way!" Mr. Bigg hollered. "Did the sun come out, or did you just smile?" Faye suggested. "No, no, and... Actually, that last one might work," RS said. "Ha-ha. I won," Faye said to Bigg. "Yeah, well NYAHHHH!"Bigg said, sticking out his tongue. "Can we try to stay serious here?! We got a convention to get to!" RS yelled. "Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow (Oscar Wilde)," Faye said. "Yes, but Only the shallow know themselves (also Oscar Wilde)," RS replied. The three stared at each other and broke down laughing as they sped along the horizon.
"Can we go already?" RS yelled. "Fine, fine, Mr. McBossy," Bigg muttered. Skooge hissed at RS as they pulled out of the driveway. After a few minutes, the small houses were replaced by large buildings as they entered the down town district. They pulled up next to a fairly large apartment complex. Bigg started beeping the horn in an odd sequence. "HEY- WILL YOU SHUT UP!!?" A voice roared from across the street. Bigg stopped beeping the horn and yelled back "WHAT?!" "STOP BEEPING THE DAMN HORN YOU IDIOTIC YAHOO!!" The stranger yelled back. "WHY DON'T YOU COME DOWN AND MAKE ME, OLD MAN!!?" Bigg challenged. The guy disappeared from the window. "I showed him, didn't I Skooge?" Bigg asked, rubbing his nose against Skooge's.
"In retrospect, that might not have been the best course of action," RS said. "Eh? How so?" Bigg asked. RS pointed across the street at the man who was now approaching the car with a baseball bat. "Oh crap," Bigg squeaked as the man came closer. On the other side of the car, Faye was stepping out her front door. She was a petite girl with short black hair, light blue eyes and freckles. She looked quizzically at the man with the baseball bat as RS screamed, "FAYE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET IN THE CAR!!" Faye frantically scrambled into the back seat and Bigg pushed on the gas hard. The man with the baseball bat jumped out of the way to avoid getting hit. RS hooted as they sped onto the empty freeway.
"Must you bother my neighbors every time you guys come to my house? My landlord got eight petitions on the last month to ban both of you from the apartment complex!" Faye said, giggling slightly. "No offense, but your neighbors are idiots," Bigg said. "Says the man who Eskimo-kisses his cat every five minutes," RS replied. "Hey- there is NOTHING wrong with showing your affection for a loved one. Isn't that right, Skooge?" Bigg retorted as Skooge purred deeply. "So what's the itinerary for the trip?" Faye asked. "Well, I figure if we make one stop in about an hour and have light traffic, we can make it there at about 11:30," RS said. "Yeah. Then we change at the convention and wait around for Isaac so we can get his autograph," Bigg finished. "Are you still going to try to hit on Mia?" Faye asked RS. "Yeah, but I need a good pick-up line.." RS said. "How about 'do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes'," Bigg suggested. "How about that's the cheesiest thing I've ever heard in my life?" RS retorted.
"Why don't you try 'Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day!'," Faye asked. "Ok, THAT'S the cheesiest thing I've ever heard," RS said. "You must be Jamaican, 'cause Jamaican me crazy!" Bigg recommended. "No," RS replied. "If you were words on a page, you'd be FINE PRINT!" Faye yelled. "Oh God no," RS sighed. "If you were a laser, you'd be set on 'stunning'," Bigg yelped. "I'm thinking.. no," RS said. "Let's make like a fabric softener and snuggle!" Faye hooted. "You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King- you treat me right, and I'll do it your way!" Mr. Bigg hollered. "Did the sun come out, or did you just smile?" Faye suggested. "No, no, and... Actually, that last one might work," RS said. "Ha-ha. I won," Faye said to Bigg. "Yeah, well NYAHHHH!"Bigg said, sticking out his tongue. "Can we try to stay serious here?! We got a convention to get to!" RS yelled. "Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow (Oscar Wilde)," Faye said. "Yes, but Only the shallow know themselves (also Oscar Wilde)," RS replied. The three stared at each other and broke down laughing as they sped along the horizon.