Greetings, and welcome to my wacky little world!!
So, yeah, like I don't own any of the characters that will be gracing this story . . . but at the next auction I hope to buy Chevron Guy!!
Warnings: Severe Out of Character-ness, little or no following of the time line . . . and little or no respect for the SGC . . . [grin] what can I say?
Dedication: When watching Stargate non-stop, eating much chocolate, and *trying* to figure out a plot for a Daniel/Sam fic, when very dedicated to Jack/Sam . . . they are MEANT to be together, besides . . . Daniel's married for crying out loud! . . . I lay blame for this ficlet *entirely* at Cucumber Faye The Paranoid One's feet!
"Speaking"
//Thinking//
*Emphasis/stressing*
~Flashback ~
--Dream--
~Sweet Dreams~
By Doctor Megalomania
Part One: Daniel's a little restless . . .
T'was the night before . . .
Daniel frowned, it wasn't exactly Christmas just yet, but the phrase did seem to set the right mood . . . Anyway, everywhere around SGC was quiet, not even a mouse stirred. Absolute quiet, even Chevron Guy was still in his seat, snoring quietly, his hands reaching out and grabbing at pretty much nothing.
Daniel, floating through out the multi-floor base, cocked an eyebrow. Damnit. He knew he was right all this time! Jack *so* owed him twenty bucks, Chevron Guy *never* left his seat!
He sighed, and continued to float around, thinking back to his conversation with Mother Nature. . .
~
"What do you mean you're bored? . . . already?! You've only been immortal for a couple of months now!"
"But . . . isn't there anything we can do that won't disrupt the very nature of the universe?"
". . . you want the Samantha Carter answer or the Jack O'Neill answer?"
"Is there a Teal'c option?"
"No, but I believe we are offering a Tok'ra non-answer, complete with authentic threat to the peaceful coalition between humans and the Tok'ra . . ."
"I'll take Jack."
"Okay, for cryin' out loud Daaaan-iel, there ain't nothing, not now, not ever, kappish? Over my dead, rotting body will anything ever be done, okay?! Got it? There, now be a good little happy camper, and read some ancient stuff."
". . . whoa . . . you're good."
"I try."
~
So.
So, here he was floating around SGC, looking for some one to try out the one interesting thing she had suggested . . . reading other people's minds, diving into their dreams, and basically using his supernatural powers to further the immortal realm knowledge of humankind, and what makes them tick . . .
As he came up to his first choice's door, he smirked –
~
"Isn't that just a another way of putting the fact that you're nosey as hell, and want the latest gossip so you can laugh and point at their puny little lives?"
She raised an eyebrow, "Yes . . . And your point is?"
Daniel shook his head slowly, "No, no point . . ."
~
-- Anyway, here he was now floating over General Hammond, at Twelve Twenty Five in the morning.
Daniel drew a deep breath and reached out, pressing his palm against the bald commander's forehead. He closed his eyes and—
-- opened them against the bright blue sky, and the wonderful warm sunshine. He looked around, and raised his eyebrows at the sight.
General Hammond was, uh . . . well, he was . . .
Daniel cocked his head, as if providing himself with another angle was going to explain things any clearer.
General Hammond was, erm . . . well, he was lounging. Daniel nodded, yes. . . yes indeed, Hammond was lounging. . . *naked*. . . on a big pile of blue jell-o. The bald man cooed happily and stuffed another handful into his mouth.
The unmistakeable sound of the rings descending behind him, made Daniel turn. Someone had rung down another pile of blue jell-o. Daniel felt a nerve under his eye twitch. A squeal of happiness from General Hammond, and the flash of Hammond's backside was enough to make Daniel—
--opened his eyes and stumbled back.
Hammond smiled gently in his sleep and rolled over. Daniel stared at him, gaping like a fish. He had known General Hammond was, uh, *fond* of Blue jell-o . . . but this . . . *this* was taking it a bit too far. . .
Daniel got to his feet, and walked very quickly out of the room . . . actually he phased through the floor into the room of Teal'c, but Sam wasn't here. He didn't *have* to use strict scientifically correct terms.
He found himself tense, and agitated as he approached Teal'c, what would Teal'c be dreaming of? If Hammond was dreaming of himself butt-naked in a field of Blue Jell-o, then what on earth . . . or indeed the universe would Teal'c dream of?
Drawing a deep breathe, Daniel reached out and—
--found himself staring at the dark walls of a broom closet.
"What in the hell. . .?!" Daniel sighed and clasped his hand over eyes. He drew another breath and prepared himself for whatever bizarreness Teal'c and a dark broom closet would muster. There was a distinctly unfamiliar giggle, and Daniel had to listen to it several times before he actually *believed* what he was hearing.
Teal'c was giggling.
Teal'c . . . Giggling.
If he hadn't suspected it before, Daniel knew for sure . . . yes, that nerve under his eye was indeed twitching.
Suddenly, without any warning Teal'c opened the door to the broom closet and was rewarded with a loud thump. The former First Class Jaffa poked his head around the door to see what, or rather who he had hit . . . Daniel poked his head through the door to see what Teal'c had hit.
Lt. Marvin Reed . . . who in real life had the unfortunate habit of slamming doors into Teal'c's face . . . lay sprawled out on the floor, clutching his nose and howling loudly, and satisfyingly, in pain.
Teal'c grinned – Daniel felt his heart skip a beat at that – and stepped over Lt. Reed. The former First Class Jaffa roared loudly with laughter as he stood and pointed at Lt. Reed's bleeding nose, and pain.
Daniel shook his---
-- head as he pulled his hand away.
Teal'c still heavily in his dream simply smirked that knowing little smile of his and slept away. Daniel concluded that Teal'c had a few rage issues . . .
"Rage issues?" The former human murmured as he floated out into the corridor, "I wonder . . ."
-------------------
And Now It's Time to LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!
DrM: [vaguely, distracted by Gundam Wing Manga] Welcome . . . welcome . . . come in, come in!!
Jack: [irate] What the--?! For cryin' out loud!! What the hell is this?!
Cucumber Faye: [brightly] It's a Stargate Fic!! Duh!
Jack: who the hell are you?!
C-Faye: Cucumber Faye . . . the Paranoid One . . . and DrM's supplier of all things Stargate!!
Jack: [pulls gun] so YOU are the one who turned her attention on us!! [Aims for C-Faye's Head] Any last words?!
C-Faye: [smiles wickedly] yes I have . . . [clicks fingers and grins as a faint noise starts up]
DrM: [looking up from manga] What's that noise, Faye-Faye?
C-Faye: That, Dr Meggie, that would be . . . [opens door] Death ooooorrr. . .
Urgo: mmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jack: Oh, for cryin' out loud . . . Hell . . . no . . . over my dead body . . . HELL NO!!!
C-Faye: URGO!!!
Urgo: CUCUMBER FAYE!!
DrM: READERS!!! Review please . . . it's nice to know there's people out there still!