Greetings, and welcome to my wacky little world!!
So, yeah, like I don't own any of the characters that will be gracing this story . . . but at the next auction I hope to buy Chevron Guy!!
Warnings: Severe Out of Character-ness, little or no following of the time line . . . and little or no respect for the SGC . . . [grin] what can I say?
Dedication: When watching Stargate non-stop, eating much chocolate, and *trying* to figure out a plot for a Daniel/Sam fic, when very dedicated to Jack/Sam . . . they are MEANT to be together, besides . . . Daniel's married for crying out loud! . . . I lay blame for this ficlet *entirely* at Cucumber Faye The Paranoid One's feet!
"Speaking"
//Thinking//
*Emphasis/stressing*
~Flashback ~
--Dream--
~Sweet Dreams~
By Doctor Megalomania
Part Three: . . . And They Went On A Merry Adventure . . .
Jack coughed uncontrollably as he swiped away at the dusty smoke, "What's going on?!" He demanded, and approached the panels of the SGC. "Where's Carter?" He made a grab at the microphone, but gasped as his hand sailed right through it!
"Uh, Jack?"
Jack, stubborn mule that he is, tried again, and gave a growl of frustration as his hand went sailing through the microphone again and again. "Not now, Daniel!!"
Daniel nodded once and itched the side of his nose as he looked around.
"For crying out loud!" Jack growled aloud as his repeated attempts to grab the microphone failed, "What in the hell---?!"
"Uh, Jack, if you would---"
"For crying out loud, Daniel!!" Jack whirled around and shouted at Daniel, "Can't you see we've got a situation on our hands? The SGC is under attack!!"
"That's just my point . . ." Daniel scratched the side of his nose again, and shrugged, "This isn't the SGC . . ." Jack's brow folded into a deep frown, and a clear expression of 'Huh?'. The semi-all-seeing archaeologist sighed and glanced up, drawing a deep breathe before launching into his explanation. "Jack . . . this isn't real, remember? This is Chevron Guy's dream, okay?" Jack's frown grew deeper, as Daniel continued, "Just like you dreaming of a normal day in the cafeteria? . . . Like that Puppy-Man-Jonas-Guy and his dreams about fetching and retrieving for you . . . And like Teal'c and his hiding in cupboards, and smashing doors into people's faces . . ." A thin sliver of comprehension dawned on Jack's face, and Daniel could see the light, "Get it?"
"Yeah, I'm with you . . ." Jack stepped back and watched as the violent dream continued, before leaning over and whispering to Daniel, "Teal'c dreams of hiding in cupboards?"
"Let's just leave it at that." Daniel muttered as he watched Chevron Guy jump up from his seat, and yell something very rude at the invading aliens.
Jack frowned, and moved away only to lean back and murmur again, "Who else did you go to before you went to me?"
"Just Teal'c and General Hammond." Daniel looked a little flustered as he spoke. Chevron Guy, since now General Hammond was immobilised, was now the leader. Apparently in the dream, Chevron Guy was the only one left to command some very panicky ensigns . . . who all appeared to be beautiful young women who gazed at Chevron Guy with evident love and lust, and the other remaining officers on deck were impressionable young men, who were looking for a role model and a father figure.
"What did the General dream of?" Jack asked, as Chevron Guy grabbed a large gun and started to shoot at the invading aliens . . . which looked suspiciously like Klingons with tails.
"Eh . . ." Daniel hesitated, wincing slightly as a large explosion – caused by the handgrenade that Chevron Guy threw at the invading horde – rocked the Stargate room. "I don't actually . . . remember . . ."
"Was he dreaming about naked girls? What samurai naked girls?" Jack asked in amusement, picking up on Daniel's evasion instantly, hardly paying attention, as Chevron Guy rescued a hostage – a beautiful young ensign – and almost got shot in the back by an evil looking Klingon, but was saved by a hapless solider – a impressionable young man – who dived in the way of the rather slow moving energy shot.
"Not exactly . . ." Daniel looked away, his face beginning to turn redder and redder. Chevron Guy whipped around and shot the ruthless Klingon, and sank to his knees as the impressionable young man lay dying in a pool of his own blood. Chevron Guy looked grim as he spoke a few words of thanks, and the impressionable young man smiled, his life and death made worthwhile.
"Then what?" Jack continued to probe, as Chevron Guy shook his hands at the ceiling at the clear inhumanity of the impressionable young man's death and let out a gut-wrenching cry of: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"Just something that I . . ." Daniel squirmed uncomfortably, "look. I just don't remember!"
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"Aw, come on Daniel . . ." Jack's grey eyes took on a delighted twinkle, "tell me! "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"Jack, it's not something I *want* to remember, okay?!"
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"But it's going to be funny!!" He grabbed Daniel's arm, "isn't it?! "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"Trust me it isn't, now shut up!" Daniel wrenched his arm from Jack's grasp, "and watch the damn dream! "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"Y'know something, I think I preferred you when you were less ascended . . . you're a complete jerk now. "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"I am not! "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"Are too! "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"Am NOT!! "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"ARE TOO!! "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"
"AM NOT!! "
"--OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Chevron Guy's cry started to fade, as Jack and Daniel continued to bicker. He gathered the Impressionable Young Man's body into his arms and whispered fiercely that his death would not go unavenged. That said, he promptly dropped the body – which conveniently disappeared – and Chevron Guy and all the Beautiful Young Women – all the other impressionable young men having popped out of existence – started dancing happily, as in something out of a really bad sixties super hero program.
"Am not."
"You are so too, it's unbelievable you haven't crossed over to three years old yet!"
Daniel felt his eyes cross, "Jack . . . you won't believe how bad that was . . ."
"I could believe it a hellava lot more if you would tell me what Hammond was dreaming of . . ." Jack groused as they past the women's quarters. He paused, "How about . . .?"
"Jack, no!"
"Why not?!" Jack started to grin, "Don't you wanna know what . . . all those Samurai naked girls dream about?"
Daniel flushed, "Jack, it's . . ."
"Not ethical, not moral, not nice . . . screw being nice, where did nice ever get us?!" Jack started to pace forward, and disappeared into the darkness of the corridor. Daniel, also a stubborn mule, stood rock still and refused to move for a few moments before jogging after Jack.
They paused outside Doctor Fraiser's room.
"Ya think we . . .?" Daniel made a motion toward the room. Jack nodded, glancing down the corridor, keeping a look out. Daniel sighed, and popped his head through the wall. Jack waited a couple of seconds, and raised an eyebrow as Daniel hastily beat a retreat and squeaked.
"What?" Jack hissed at his partner in crime.
"She w-wa-was . . ." Daniel composed himself in an instant, although his cheeks were tinged bright red. "She was in a state of undress . . ."
"She was naked?" Daniel couldn't help but nod at this, as Jack glanced at Fraiser's door again, "I wonder why?"
"Maybe she's a nudist at heart?" Daniel licked his lips nervously, "Let's move on, shall we?"
Jack nodded, and moved silently along the corridor until he got to Sam's door. He reached out to grab Daniel's arm, but thought better of it and chose instead to hiss out, "Jackson!"
Daniel turned, and glanced at the door. Samantha Carter's room.
"Jack . . .?"
Jack glanced down the corridor again, "What?"
"We shouldn't . . ."
"Why not?"
". . ." Daniel frowned, he couldn't actually think of a good reason. "Uh, Sam will kill you if she finds out . . ."
"What about you?" Jack hissed back, "Why does she always go after me?"
"Uh, she couldn't kill me, Jack . . ." Daniel corrected slowly, "Because I'm already dead."
As Daniel poked his head through the wall, Jack took a moment to indulge in a fairly well deserved . . .
"D'oh!"
-------------------
And Now It's Time to LEAVE IT TO DOCTOR MEGALOMANIA!!!
DrM: [grins] that's one thing I love about you Jack . . . you love the Simpsons.
Jack: and as a fellow Simpsons fan, it would only be right to lay off Stargate and return to the depths of hell you came from right?
DrM: Aw, Hell no. [grins brighter] just gives me more material to work with . . .
Jack: [growls to self] Damnit it all to hell!
C-Faye: [nudges DrM] don't forget to plug your other story . . .
DrM: [slaps forehead] how could I forget?!
Jack: [sulking] because you're stupid. . . and mean, and crappy . . .
DrM: [ignoring him] Okay, so yeah . . . the whole reason this story got started was because Cucumber Faye, also known as theparanoidone here at ff.net, look up her story, and demand she continue it! [grins] anyway, she challenged me to write a fic where Sam, or Daniel confided in Jacob about their feelings for one another—
Jack: SAY WHAT?!
DrM: [ignoring Jack] well, it was hard enough 'cause I'm a Jack/Sam girl myself . . . but finally I have done it, so keep your eyes out for 'Midnight Musings'.
Jack: YOU DID WHAT?!
DrM: [wide grin] I wrote a Sam/Daniel fic, called 'Midnight Musings'. I would love it if people not only reviewed that . . . but this too!
Jack: [shakes head] that was a shameless story plug DrM, I'm ashamed of you . . . bad evil overlord, bad! [turns to reader] don't encourage her to write more . . . she's a bad evil overlord, don't review!!
DrM: [baps Jack with a pillow] Shhh . . . you're not supposed to say that!! What if people take you seriously!?!
Jack: I *AM* being serious!!