Into the Woods

by Clear Shadow

A mad mixture of anime and broadway. Includes Inuyasha, Ranma 1/2, Rorouni Kenshin, Zoids and Gundam Wing. I'm bad at summaries so please just read this and laugh. Act Two is up and finished! Hey that means that the entire fic is done!!!!!

5. Act One, Scene Five

Into the Woods

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For your convenience and in case you forgot, here's the cast list. Don't worry I'm putting it at the binging of every scene.

Cast:

Narrators: Clear Shadow, Yume Tenshi, Sharpsnout and MereMew

Jack: Himura Kenshin

Baker: Miroku

Cinderella's Stepmother: Irvine

Lucinda: Moonbay

Little Red Ridinghood: Hibiki Miaka

Cinderella's Mother: Rudolf

Wolf: P-Chan

Rapunzel: Maxwell Duo

Cinderella's Prince: Raven

Milky White (Called Yahiko-White for the sake of humor): Yahiko

Cinderella: Lilli

Jack's Mother: Kamiya Karou

Baker's Wife: Chiyumi

Florinda: Fiona

Cinderella's Father: Dr. D

Witch: Maxwell Rina

Mysterious Man: Inuyasha

Granny: Mousse

Rapunzel's Prince: Hawk

Steward: Van

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Scene Five

Yume Tenshi: And so the Mysterious Man died, having helped end the curse on his house. For the Baker, there would be no reunion with his father, and he and his wife, bewildered, returned home.

Baker: Let's go bear children.

Baker's Wife: Is that all you think about? ::They leave::

Sharpsnout: The Witch, who had been punished with age and ugliness—

Witch: Hey!

Sharpsnout: It's what the line is! Don't take it personally!

Witch: ::Grumble, grumble::

Sharpsnout: —that night when her beans were stolen and the lightning flashed was now returned to her former state of youth and beauty.

::Rina flashes twin peace signs and a happy smile at everyone then leaves::

MereMew: And Yahiko-White, after a night of severe indigestion…and embarrassment, was reunited with the now wealthy Jack. ::Kenshin, Karou, Yahiko-White and the harp all leave:: As for the Prince… ::Fanfare::….

Yume Tenshi: ….He began his search for the foot to fit the golden slipper. ::Raven and Van enter on Zoids:: When he came to Cinderella's house, Cinderella's stepmother took the slipper into Florinda's room.

::Fiona tries on the shoe, Irvine is helping, Moonbay watches::

Florinda: CAREFUL, MY TOE—!

Stepmother: DARLING, I KNOW—

Florinda: WHAT'LL WE DO?

Stepmother: IT'LL HAVE TO GO— ::Fiona looks shocked when Irvine pulls out a knife::

BUT WHEN YOU'RE HIS BRIDE

YOU CAN SIT OR RIDE.

YOU'LL NEVER NEED TO WALK! ::Nods encouragingly and Fiona holds out her foot. Irvine chops off her toe. Fiona bites back a squeal as fake blood squirts everywhere::

Sharpsnout: The girl obeyed, swallowing the pain, and joined the Prince to become his bride.

:: Raven and Fiona, on a Zoid arrive at Rudolf's tree::

Cinderella's Mother: LOOK AT THE BLOOD WITHIN THE SHOE:

THIS ONE IS NOT THE BRIDE THAT'S TRUE.

SEARCH FOR THE FOOT THAT FITS

::Raven Looks at Fiona's foot and sees the blood. They return to Cinderella's house::

MereMew: The Prince returned the false bride and asked the other sister to put on the shoe.

::Irvine tires to force the shoe on Moonbay's foot::

Lucinda: WHY WON'T IT FIT?

Stepmother: ::holding the knife with a slightly maniacal grin plastered across his face::

DARLING BE STILL

CUT OFF A BIT

OF THE HEEL AND IT WILL

AND WHEN YOU'RE HIS WIFE

YOU'LL HAVE SUCH A LIFE

YOU'LL NEVER NEED TO WALK!

::Looks at Moonbay who nods and holds out her foot with a grimace. Irvine cuts off her heel and Moonbay bites back a scream::

Clear Shadow: The girl obeyed and swallowed her pain. But once again the Prince noticed blood trickling from her shoe. ::Raven takes the shoe and pours blood from it::

Cinderella's Prince: Have you no other daughters?

Yume Tenshi: To which the woman replied:

Stepmother: No, only a little stunted kitchen wench which his late wife left behind, but she is much too dirty; she cannot show herself.

Cinderella's Prince: I insist.

Sharpsnout: And when Cinderella presented herself and tried on the blood-soaked slipper, it fit like a glove.

Cinderella's Prince: I found you!

MereMew: Much to the dismay of the stepmother and her daughters, he took Cinderella on his horse…er…Zoid and rode off.

::Raven and Lilli ride up to the grave::

Cinderella's Mother: NO BLOOD AT ALL WITHIN THE SHOE;

THIS IS THE PROPER BRIDE FOR YOU,

FIT TO ATTEND A PRINCE.

::during the following Duo wanders in, singing softly, and carrying twin babies. At the same time Hawk wanders in blindly

Clear Shadow: As for Rapunzel, she bore twins, and lived impoverished in the desert until the day her Prince, wandering aimlessly, heard a voice so familiar that he went towards it. And when he approached Rapunzel, overjoyed at seeing him, fell into his arms, weeping.

Rapunzel: One, if I fell into Hawk's arms I'd take him out. Two, I'm not weeping for anything!

Clear Shadow: ::Gritted teeth:: Fell into his arms weeping. Two of her tears wetted his eyes and their touch restored vision.

Rapunzel's Prince: ::sees Duo:: GYAAA!! Take back my vision! That's a freakin' nightmare!

Witch: ::appears from nowhere:: I was going to come fetch you as soon as you learned your less— WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU CARRYING TWINS FOR?!?!?

Rapunzel: I kinda gave birth to them…

Witch: YOU WHAT?!?!? How???

::Oh you know medical advances…::

Witch: That's not funny!!!

::Oh just get on with it.::

Rapunzel: ::Shrugs:: Who are you?

Witch: Surely you remember.

Rapunzel: Mother?

Witch: This is who I truly am. Come with me child. We can be happy as we once were. ::Offers Duo her hand::

Rapunzel's Prince: ::Shoves Duo forward:: Here take it!

Witch: Wait, that's not right…

Rapunzel: Take me home!!

Witch: That's really not right!

Rapunzel's Prince: Well? Do you want to take her with you or not??

Witch: ::Panicked:: That's not in the script!! I'm so confused! ::Tries to do a spell and is hurt by the collar:: Hey! Where'd the collar come from?! (AN: For more about the collar, read "Soul of Magic" since I'm not explaining it here)

Rapunzel: Wow, that sucks.

Witch: Take it off of me!

Rapunzel: No way! ::Runs::

Witch: ::Gives chase::

Rapunzel's Prince: Well I think we screwed that scene really well. You'd better just continue.

Yume Tenshi: Uhhh ok….As is often the way in these tales, in exchange for youth and beauty, the Witch lost her power over others.

Sharpsnout: When the wedding with the Prince was celebrated, Florinda and Lucinda attended, wishing to win favor with Cinderella and share in her good fortune…huh?

Clear Shadow: That means they went to mooch off of her.

Sharpsnout: Ohhh…..

::Lilli, in her wedding gown, and Raven enter with Moonbay and Fiona at their sides::

MereMew: But as the sisters stood by the blessed couple, pigeons swooped down upon them and poked out their eyes and punished them with blindness.

::Fiona and Moonbay are blinded by pigeons descending and stagger offstage, screaming::

MereMew: Damn that sucks.

::Fanfare::

::Chiyumi walks in, very pregnant::

Baker's Wife: I see Raven finally found you.

Cinderella: Yeah and he threatened to handcuff me to his Organiod if I run off again.

Cinderella's Prince: And don't think I won't either!

Baker's Wife: Um yeah. Thank you for the slipper. ::Pats her belly::

Clear Shadow: It tasted like chicken!!

Other Narrators: ::Sweatdrop, groan::

::Miroku enters::

Cinderella: I DIDN'T THINK I'D WED A PRINCE.

Cinderella's Prince: I DIDN'T THINK I'D EVER FIND YOU.

Clear Shadow: He does sing!!

Cinderella, Cinderella's Prince, Baker, Baker's Wife: I DIDN'T THINK I COULD BE SO HAPPY!...

::All come onstage::

Clear Shadow: And it came to pass, all that seemed wrong was now right, the kingdoms were filled with joy, and those who deserved to were certain to live a long and happy life.

Ever after...

All Except Narrator: EVER AFTER!

Sharpsnout: JOURNEY OVER, ALL IS MENDED,

AND IT'S NOT JUST FOR TODAY,

BUT TOMORROW, AND EXTENDED,

EVER AFTER!

All Except Narrator: EVER AFTER!

Yume Tenshi: ALL THE CURSES HAVE BEEN ENDED,

THE REVERSES WIPED AWAY.

ALL IS TENDERNESS AND LAUGHTER

FOR FOREVER AFTER!

All Except Narrator: HAPPY NOW AND HAPPY HENCE

AND HAPPY EVER AFTER!

MereMew: THERE WERE DANGERS—

All Except Narrator: WE WERE FRIGHTENED—

Clear Shadow: AND CONFUSIONS—

All Except Narrator: BUT WE HID IT—

Yume Tenshi: AND THE PATHS WOULD OFTEN SWERVE.

All Except Narrator: WE DID NOT.

Sharpsnout: THERE WERE CONSTANT—

All Except Narrator: IT'S AMAZING—

MereMew: DISILLUSIONS—

All Except Narrator: THAT WE DID IT.

Clear Shadow: BUT THEY NEVER LOST THEIR NERVE.

All Except Narrator: NOT A LOT.

Narrators and Men: AND THEY/WE REACHED THE RIGHT CONCLUSIONS

Narrators and Women: AND THEY/WE GOT WHAT THEY/WE DESERVED!

All: NOT A SIGH AND NOT A SORROW,

TENDERNESS AND LAUGHTER.

JOY TODAY AND BLISS TOMORROW,

AND FOREVER AFTER!

::Fiona and Moonbay enter, blind and limping, and make their way to the front of the stage::

Florinda: I WAS GREEDY.

Lucinda: I WAS VAIN.

Florinda: I WAS HAUGHTY.

Lucinda: I WAS SMUG.

Florinda and Lucinda: WE WERE HAPPY.

Lucinda: IT WAS FUN.

Florinda: BUT WE WERE BLIND.

Florinda and Lucinda: THEN WE WENT INTO THE WOODS

TO GET OUR WISH,

AND NOW WE'RE REALLY BLIND.

::Rina enters::

Witch: I WAS PERFECT.

I HAD EVERYTHING BUT BEAUTY.

I HAD POWER,

AND A DAUGHTER LIKE A FLOWER,

IN A TOWER.

THEN I WENT INTO THE WOODS

TO GET MY WISH,

AND NOW I'M ORDINARY.

LOST MY POWER AND MY FLOWER.

Florinda and Lucinda: ::overlapping:: WE'RE UNWORTHY.

Witch, Florinda, and Lucinda: WE'RE/I'M UNHAPPY NOW, UNHAPPY HENCE,

AS WELL AS EVER AFTER.

HAD WE USED OUR COMMON SENSE,

BEEN WORTHY OF OUR DISCONTENTS—

All: TO BE HAPPY, AND FOREVER,

YOU MUST SEE YOUR WISH COME TRUE.

DON'T BE CAREFUL, DON'T BE CLEVER,

WHEN YOU SEE YOUR WISH, PURSUE.

IT'S A DANGEROUS ENDEAVOR,

BUT THE ONLY THING TO DO--

::in three groups::

THOUGH IT'S FEARFUL,

THOUGH IT'S DEEP, THOUGH IT'S DARK,

AND THOUGH YOU MAY LOSE THE PATH,

THOUGH YOU MAY ENCOUNTER WOLVES,

YOU MUSTN'T STOP,

YOU MUSTN'T SWERVE,

YOU MUSTN'T PONDER,

YOU HAVE TO ACT!

WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR WISH,

IF YOU WANT YOUR WISH,

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR WISH,

BUT YOU CAN'T JUST WISH--

NO, TO GET YOUR WISH

::in unison::

YOU GO INTO THE WOODS,

WHERE NOTHING'S CLEAR,

WHERE WITCHES, GHOSTS,

AND WOLVES APPEAR.

INTO THE WOODS

AND THROUGH THE FEAR,

YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE JOURNEY.

INTO THE WOODS

AND DOWN THE DELL,

IN VAIN PERHAPS,

BUT WHO CAN TELL?

INTO THE WOODS TO LIFT THE SPELL,

INTO THE WOODS TO LOSE THE LONGING.

INTO THE WOODS TO HAVE THE CHILD,

TO WED THE PRINCE,

TO GET THE MONEY,

TO KILL THE WOLF,

TO FIND THE FATHER,

TO CONQUER THE KINGDOM,

TO HAVE, TO WED,

TO GET, TO SAVE,

TO KILL, TO KEEP,

TO GO TO THE FESTIVAL!

INTO THE WOODS,

INTO THE WOODS,

INTO THE WOODS,

THEN OUT OF THE WOODS—

All Narrators: To be continued...

::a giant beanstalk emerges from the ground and stretches to the heavens; the characters are oblivious to its presence::

All:—AND HAPPY EVER AFTER!

::Everyone heads off to their respective homes::

END OF SCENE FIVE & ACT ONE