Into The Woods
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No new disclaimer this time. Heh heh heh. But there is a cast list!
Cast List:
Narrators: Clear Shadow, Yume Tenshi, Sharpsnout and MereMew
Cinderella's Cast:
Cinderella's Stepmother: Irvine
Lucinda: Moonbay
Cinderella's Mother: Rudolf
Cinderella's Prince: Raven
Cinderella: Lilli
Florinda: Fiona
Cinderella's Father: Dr. D
Steward: Van
Baker's Cast:
Baker: Miroku
Baker's Wife: Chiyumi
Mysterious Man: Inuyasha
Little Red Ridinghood's Cast:
Little Red Ridinghood: Hibiki Miaka
Wolf: P-Chan
Granny: Mousse
Jack and the Beanstalk's Cast:
Jack: Himura Kenshin
Milky White (Called Yahiko-White for the sake of humor): Yahiko
Jack's Mother: Kamiya Karou
Rapunzel's Cast:
Rapunzel: Maxwell Duo
Witch: Maxwell Rina
Rapunzel's Prince: Hawk
New Faces:
Cinderella's Prince: Ashi
Rapunzel's Prince: Ty
Little Red Runningshorts: Hibiki Matiko
Giant: Sagara Sanosuke
Giant: Mizukagami Akemi
Baker and Baker's Wife's Baby: Ugami Amari
Rapunzel's Twins: Ugami Sakura and Ugami Nadeshiko
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Scene Two::Duo enters, sees Miroku, Chiyumi, the baby, Miaka and Lilli; he screams::
Rapunzel: Excuse me?
::Hysterical sobbing?::
Rapunzel: No.
Twin #1: ::Burps:: S'cuse me.
Clear Shadow: Why does that child look familiar?
Rapunzel: We Chibi-fied Sakura and Nadeshiko.
Clear Shadow: Does Ceres and Eriol know you Chibi-fied their children?
Rapunzel: It was their idea.
Twin # 2 (Nadeshiko): I like being a Chibi!
Twin #1 (Sakura): I don't. Someone is so dead when this is over.
Clear Shadow: ::Thinking about something:: Wait, is that why Chiyumi's baby looked familiar?
Rapunzel: It's Amari.
Sharpsnout: And he didn't say anything?
Twin #1: He thinks it's fun.
Twin #2: He's been begging Chichiri to teach how to go Chibi for forever.
::Yeah, so anyway, back to the play?::
All: Right.
::Duo screams. The others scream and exit. Kenshin wanders
in with Yahiko-White at his heels, Duo sees Kenshin and screams. Kenshin Oro's
loudly and exits. Duo plops down on the ground and proceeds to have a mental
breakdown. Rina enters::
Witch: ::urgent:: Duo!! Why the hell are you in the middle of the forest having
a breakdown? ::Duo whimpers:: What's the matter?
Rapunzel: Oh, nothing! You just locked me in a tower without company for
fourteen years, then you blinded my Prince and banished me to a desert where I
had little to eat, and again no company, and then bore twins!
Twin #2: I don't think he likes us.
Twin #1: It's just a part of the script.
Rapunzel: And on top of all that you chopped off my
beautiful hair!!!! Because of the way you treated me, I'll never, never be
happy! ::begins bawling::
Witch: ::defensive, yet sincere:: I was just trying to be a good mother… er
sister. Stay with me. There's a giant running about.
::Duo runs off; Rina gives chase::
Witch: What part of stay with me did you misinterpret?!?
::Hawk and Raven enter::
Rapunzel's Prince: No.
Clear Shadow: Not again. I'm not dealing with him. Sharpsnout he's yours you do it.
Sharpsnout: No what Hawk?
Rapunzel's Prince: There is no way in hell that I'm continuing with this part. What are people gonna think? I gave Duo twins! How is that even humanly possible?!
Cinderella's Prince: If he's not doing it then neither am I.
Clear Shadow: Awww…but you look so cute in your costume,
Princes: No.
Yume Tenshi: ::To Raven:: You get to make out with Chiyumi later on.
Cinderella's Prince: Who?
MereMew: You get to cheat on your wives with Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.
Rapunzel's Prince: ::Thinking…:: Who's playing Snow White?
Clear Shadow: Uhh……whomever we can get at the very last minute?
Cinderella's Prince: This is ridiculous. You people are complete idiots. I'm not a part of this anymore.
Clear Shadow: I had a feeling this would happen, and as I'm not prepared to sing anymore Shakira for all the nice readers out there I came up with a backup plan.
Everyone else: You did??
Clear Shadow: Yep. Understudies!! ::Whistles:: C'mere guys! ::Ty and Ashi walk in:: Ta daa!!
Rapunzel's Prince: You got Ty to do my part?!?
Cinderella's Prince: I'm fine with it. ::Shrugs and prepares to leave:: Oh, one thing. ::To Ashi:: Touch Lilli and you're dead fox boy. ::Exits::
Ashi: Yeah whatever.
Ty: So who's Rapunzel again?
Clear Shadow: Some guy named Duo.
Ty: You got a guy? Should Terr be doing this?
Clear Shadow: Do you want the damn part or not?
Ty: Ok, ok, ok.
Rapunzel's Prince: Ty acting. This I gotta see.
Clear Shadow: Again as the author of this fic I feel that I should inform you all that from now on when it says Rapunzel's Prince that means Ty and when it says Cinderella's Prince that means Ashi. I'm sorry if it gets confusing but what can you do?
Rapunzel's Prince: Good Brother! What a surprise!
Cinderella's Prince: Uhh…yeah… ::Grabs script handed to him
by Clear Shadow:: Thanx. Brother. How good to see you.
Rapunzel's Prince: What brinith you intoith the wood today?
Cinderella's Prince: ::Reading off script:: I am investigating news of a giant.
Clear Shadow: ::Smiling nervously as the other narrators
glare and Hawks starts to snicker::
Rapunzel's Prince: You? Investigatingith news of a giant? Father wouldsn't even
do that! That isith the business of your Steward...or less.
Cinderella's Prince: ::defensive:: Well what the hell are you here for?
Rapunzel's Prince: My Rapunzel has runith offith.
Clear Shadow: Um guys? Small favor?
Cinderella's Prince: What?
Clear Shadow: ::To Ashi:: You stop reading and act for cryin' out loud and you, ::To Ty:: One more "ith" at the end of a word and I'll kill you.
Rapunzel's Prince: Sorry.
Cinderella's Prince: Yeah ok.
Clear Shadow: Not asking much you know…………
Cinderella's Prince: Run off?
Rapunzel's Prince: She's suffering from post…birthing? Stress.
Cinderella's Prince: Huh?
Rapunzel's prince: Severe PMS.
Cinderella's Prince: HUH?!?
Sharpsnout: You know how Ceres can be?
Ceres: I heard that! I do not have severe PMS you little creep!
Cinderella's Prince: Still don't get it.
Clear Shadow: You know how girls go from happy to sad to homicidal
within moments? That's what Rapunzel's suffering from.
Cinderella's Prince: Wow that sucks.
Rapunzel's Prince: And Cinderella?
Cinderella's Prince: She's good, thanx..
Rapunzel's Prince: ::Nudge, nudge, wink, wink:: Really now? C'mon why are ya
really here?
Cinderella's Prince: ::Reading script:: Wait. There's a song with this job? No one said anything about that.
Clear Shadow: Ashi I am begging you. Please just sing the song. Look. I'll feed you for a week if you do.
Cinderella's Prince: Two months.
Clear Shadow: Month.
Cinderella's Prince: Deal. ::Clears throat:: HIGH IN A TOWER
LIKE YOURS WAS, BUT HIGHER...
A BEAUTY ASLEEP.
ALL ROUND THE TOWER
A THICKET OF BRIAR
A HUNDRED FEET DEEP
AGONY!
NO FRUSTRATION MORE KEEN.
WHEN THE ONE THING YOU WANT
IS A THING THAT YOU'VE NOT EVEN SEEN.
Rapunzel's Prince: I FOUND A CASKET
I THINK I CAN SELL IT… ::Ashi looks half interested::
AND, IT'S UNBREAKABLE
INSIDE...DON'T ASK IT...
A MAIDEN. ALAS.
JUST AS UNWAKEABLE... ::Ashi has now lost what little interest he held::
Sharpsnout: ::Whispering:: I don't think those are the right words.
Clear Shadow: ::Whispering:: They're not.
Hawk: ::whispering:: Just remember. It was your idea. Don't
blame me if props go missing.
Cinderella's Prince, Rapunzel's Prince: WHAT UNMISTAKABLE AGONY!
IS THE WAY ALWAYS BARRED?
Rapunzel's Prince: SHE HAS SKIN WHITE AS SNOW...
Cinderella's Prince: DID YOU LEARN HER NAME?
Rapunzel's Prince: NO.
THERE'S A
DWARF STANDING GUARD.
Cinderella's Prince, Rapunzel's Prince: AGONY
SUCH
THAT PRINCES MUST WEEP!
ALWAYS IN THRALL MOST
TO ANYTHING ALMOST,
OR SOMETHING ASLEEP.
Cinderella's Prince: IF IT WERE NOT FOR THE THICKET...
Rapunzel's Prince: A THICKET'S NO TRICK
IS IT
THICK?
Cinderella's Prince: REALLY THICK.
Rapunzel's Prince: THE QUICKEST IS
PICK IT
APART WITH A STICK...
Cinderella's Prince: YES, BUT EVEN ONE PRICK
IT'S MY
THING ABOUT BLOOD.
Rapunzel's Prince: WELL IT'S SICK!
Cinderella's Prince: IT'S NO SICKER
THAN YOUR THING WITH DWARVES.
Rapunzel's Prince: DWARFS MORON.
Cinderella's Prince: DWARFS...
Rapunzel's Prince: DWARFS ARE VERY UPSETTING.
Cinderella's Prince, Rapunzel's Prince: NOT FORGETTING
THE TASKS UNACHIEVABLE,
MOUNTAINS UNSCALEABLE...
IF IT'S CONCEIVABLE
BUT UNAVAILABLE,
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH...
AGONY!
Cinderella's Prince: MISERY!
Rapunzel's Prince: WOE!
Cinderella's Prince, Rapunzel's Prince: NOT TO KNOW WHAT YOU MISS
Cinderella's Prince: WHILE THEY LIE THERE FOR YEARS...
Rapunzel's Prince: AND YOU CRY ON THEIR BIERS...
Cinderella's Prince, Rapunzel's Prince: WHAT UNBEARABLE BLISS!
AGONY
THAT CAN CUT LIKE A KNIFE!
AH WELL, BACK TO MY WIFE...
::we hear a wail in the distance::
Rapunzel's Prince: ::disappointed:: That'd be Rapunzel. Gotta go. See ya bro.
Cinderella's Prince: See ya.
::they exit in different directions::
Clear Shadow: They did all right I think.
Hawk: Just wait. It'll get worse.
Yume Tenshi: Wanna stick around?
Hawk: Sure why not?
::Miroku with a suitcase, Chiyumi with the baby, Miaka and
Matiko enter::
Baker: Are you certain this is the right direction?
Little Red Ridinghood: We went down the dell.
Baker's Wife: Perhaps the Hibiki curse is kicking in.
Little Red Ridinghood: Shut up! The path is straight.
Baker: Was straight. Now there is no path.
Little Red Ridinghood: ::increasingly upset:: Where's the stream? Where's the
lily pond? Where's Mousse-san?
Baker's Wife: Calm down. ::the baby starts to cry. To Miroku:: Maybe we should
turn back.
Little Red Ridinghood: No!
Baker: We're just gonna have to cut through the woods or something..
Little Red Ridinghood: ::crying:: But mom warned me never to stray from the
path!
Little Red Runningshorts: She also said never to leave the
house unless it's with her or one of out non-Hibiki-cursed relatives.
Baker: The path has strayed from you.
Little Red Ridinghood: Wait. That looks familiar. ::Points::
Little Red Runningshorts: The trees?
Little Red Ridinghood: Three large oak trees. Duh.
Little Red Runningshorts: Ohhh….
::we hear voices approaching::
Baker: Yes. I recognize...
Baker's Wife: Who might that be?
::Van with wicker satchel and staff, Irvine with umbrella, Dr. D with carpet
bag, Moonbay and Fiona with blind canes and dark glasses all enter and make
their way towards the group::
Baker: The Steward and the Royal Family. ::they bow:: What
brings you into the Woods?
Cinderella's Father: The castle has been set upon by a Giant.
Baker's Wife: Oh, shit...
Baker: ::to Van:: I warned you! Why didn't you do something?
Steward: I don't make the rules!!
Florinda: He just breaks them.
Steward: Fiona!
::Rina appears::
Witch: ::to Miroku:: And I warned you that you can't rely on the Royal
Family to solve your problems.
Baker's Wife: I think it best we go back to the village.
Witch: ::bitter chuckle:: I wouldn't be in such a rush if I were you. Guess
which path the giant took to the castle?
Baker's Wife: Oh shit again...
Little Red Runningshorts: You swear a lot.
Baker's Wife: I'm a half demon. I can.
Baker: What?
Witch: All that was left of my garden was a sack of beans...and there's not
much left of your house either.
Baker, Baker's Wife: Oh shit.
Baker: But I heard giants never strike the same house twice.
Baker's Wife: Who told you that crap?
::suddenly the ground begins to shake. a huge shadow of a person envelopes the
stage. the earth stops shaking and they look up in amazement::
Yume Tenshi: Sanosuke???
Clear Shadow: Sanosuke. He was all over the part.
Giant: Ha ha ha! I am humongous!
Clear Shadow: ::Cups hands over her mouth to amplify voice:: That doesn't mean you get to eat more!!
Giant: It doesn't?
Clear Shadow: No! I don't have that much food!!
Witch: ::total amazement:: The giant's a woman!
Baker: That size!
Giant: ::amplified from a specific spot:: Where is the lad who killed my
husband? Wait… I'm a woman?? ::Reaches down as the cast scatters and gently
picks up Clear Shadow:: You never said I was a woman.
Clear Shadow: ::Hands over her ears:: That hurts!! Please, not so loud.
Giant: Oh. Sorry. ::Whispers:: You never said I was a woman.
Clear Shadow: You never asked.
Giant: I'm not sure I like this part anymore.
Clear Shadow: I'm sorry.
Hawk: ::Yelling as loud as possible:: Wow, you're battin' a thousand today aren't you?
Clear Shadow: Would you rather someone else do it?
Giant: ::Nods, nearly taking Clear Shadow out with the oversized fish bone in his mouth::
Clear Shadow: ::Sighs:: Go get the other giant then. She'll do it without complaint.
Giant: ::grins at Clear Shadow and puts her back down, then walks off::
Clear Shadow: ::Grin apologetically:: Actors are so picky.
::The ground begins to rumble as the sound of running feet is heard. Akemi enters and skids to a stop just in front of the cast::
Giant: I'm here! I'm here!! ::Bows:: I'm sorry Sanosuke no baka put you through that.
Clear Shadow: No big deal. Just start the lines!
Giant: Ok!! Where's the lad who killed my husband?
::All lean back as Akemi speaks::
Steward: There is no lad here.
Baker: We haven't seen him.
Giant: I want the lad who climbed the beanstalk! Now!!
Witch: We'll get him for you right away. Don't move!
Giant: Ok!
::Miaka pulls a knife from beneath her cape and runs towards Akemi who looks
shocked. Miroku restrains her, but she threatens Akemi anyway::
Little Red Ridinghood: It was you who destroyed our house...not a great wind!
It's because of you I've no mother!
Little Red Runningshorts: ::Going to help his sister:: You
did this to our lives. You made it a disaster!! Because of you we have
seen HELL!! ::Whips out combat umbrella and begins whacking Akemi's
ankles:: Prepare to die!!
Giant: It's not my fault!! It's not, it's not!! That boy asked for shelter, and
then he stole our gold, our hen, and our harp. Then he killed my husband. I must
avenge the wrongdoings. Ow that hurts!!!
Baker's Wife: We are not responsible for him.
Witch: You are wasting your breath.
Steward: She's right. You can't reason with a dumb giant.
::the ground gives a mighty shake; leaves and twigs fall down::
Giant: ::Hurt:: I'm not dumb!! You're just mean!! ::Begins glowing blue and
suddenly transforms into Kaguya::
Clear Shadow: Dear readers, please don't ask. I haven't gotten to that part of "Mizu Kagami" Yet.
MereMew: When will you?
Clear Shadow: ::Shrugs:: I still have to work on "The Ties that Bind", "Soul of Magic", ::Hands clap over her mouth::
Baker: We get it, you're a busy lass.
Clear Shadow: ::Removes hands:: Still have enough time to bear your child!
Yume Tenshi: Yeah! And I'm not…that…busy.
MereMew: Oh god…
Sharpsnout: You two are…forget it. Guys just go on with the
play.
Little Red Ridinghood: Ok…we told you, he's not here.
Cinderella's Father: The girl is telling the truth!
Giant: I know he's there. And I'm going to wait right here until he's delivered
to me. ::plops down on the ground, making everything shake and crosses her
arms::
Yume Tenshi: The giant, who was nearsighted, remained convinced that she had
found the lad. There was no consensus among them as to which course of action
to take.
Baker's Wife: ::to Rina:: Put a spell on her.
Witch: I no longer have my powers. If I did, you think I'd be standing here
with all of you? ::indicates group; getting down to business:: Now, we'll have
to give her someone.
All Except Witch: Who?
Witch: The Steward. It's in his line of duty to sacrifice his life...
Steward: Don't be ridiculous! I'm not giving up my life for anyone!
Giant: I'm waiting! ::Takes out Katana::
Sharpsnout: You must understand, these were not people familiar with making
choices...their past experiences in the woods had in no way prepared them to
deal with a force this great.
Witch: Excuse me, but would you like a blind girl instead?
::Fiona and Moonbay scream::
Stepmother: How dare you!
Witch: Put them out of their misery.
Florinda, Lucinda: We're not that miserable!
Baker: What are you talking about?
Baker's Wife: She doesn't want a woman.
Witch: Fine. Then what do you suggest we do?
Giant: I'm still waiting!
MereMew: It is interesting to examine the moral issues at question here. The
finality of stories such as these dictates... ::The narrators turn upstage and
notice everyone looking at them. The cast moves towards them, as a group::
Sorry, we tell the story, we're not part of it.
Little Red Ridinghood: That's right. ::pulls out knife::
Little Red Runningshorts: You said it. ::Pulls out Combat
umbrella::
Witch: Not one of us!
Baker: You're always on the outside.
Clear Shadow: ::nervous:: That's our role. You must understand, there must
always be someone on the outside.
Steward: You are going to be on the inside now.
Yume Tenshi: You are making a big mistake.
Stepmother: Nonsense.
Sharpsnout: You need an objective observer to pass the story along.
Witch: Some of us don't like the way you've been telling it.
::They grab the narrators and begin to pull them upstage::
MereMew: If you drag us into this mess, you'll never know how your story ends.
You'll be lost.
Baker: ::to group:: Wait. They're the only ones who know the story.
Clear Shadow: Do you think it will be fun when you have to tell it yourselves?
Think of your baby.
Baker's Wife: Stop! She's right! Let them go! ::They let go. To Miaka and
Matiko:: Put that away!
Yume Tenshi: Now that's better. You don't want to live in a world of chaos.
::Narrators calm down and begins to inch away from them::
Clear Shadow: I made some of you.
Sharpsnout: And we feed you all!
MereMew: Besides there must always be an outside observ--
Witch: ::screaming; racing towards narrators:: Here's have a couple of lads!
::she suddenly pushes the narrators across the stage in the direction of
Kaguya. She blinks bemusedly and suddenly turns back into Akemi.
Giant: Ohayo! ::Gently picks up the narrators:: Whatever are
they doing to you?
Narrators: I'm out of here!! ::Wriggle out of the Giant's grasp, fall to the
floor, bounce twice and take off at full speed::
Giant: They're not the lad.
Witch: ::Shoves Hawk forward:: Here take this one!
Hawk: What?!? You traitor!! Sharpsnout, Yume, Shadow, MereMew!! Wait for meeee!!!! ::Takes off at full speed::
Giant: ::Sad:: That wasn't Master either…
Baker: ::to Rina:: Why did you push them into her arms?
Witch: You wanted to get rid of them, too.
Baker's Wife: We might have thought of something else.
Witch: If it were up to you, a decision would never be made.
Little Red Ridinghood: ::Looking at the direction that the narrators took,
panics:: Now that they're gone we'll never know what will happen next.
Baker's Wife: We'll manage.
Little Red Runningshorts: And Clear Shadow always gave me stuff
to burn too…
Giant: Must I search among you for the lad?
::Karou enters::
All: No!
Giant: ::Happy:: Karou-sama! Ohayo!
Jack's Mother: ::tough:: Jack is just a boy! We had no food
to eat and he sold his beloved cow in exchange for magic beans. If anyone is to
be punished, it's the man that made that exchange!
Little Red Ridinghood: That's right!
Little Red Runningshorts: Yeah!
Baker: Shhh.
Baker's Wife: Nonsense.
Giant: He was your responsibility! Now I must punish him for his wrongs! I will
make him eat your cooking!
Jack's Mother: WHY YOU LITTLE!!!! We've suffered too! Do you think it was a
picnic disposing of your husband's remains?
Giant: You are getting me angry! ::Begins glowing blue::
Jack's Mother: ::more worked up:: What about our anger? What about our loss?
Who has been flouncing through our kingdom?
Steward: Shhh. Be quiet.
Jack's Mother: I'll hide my son and you'll never find him!
Baker: ::through clenched teeth:: Don't upset her.
Jack's Mother: You'll never, never find him!
Giant: ::Growls::
Jack's Mother: ::out of control:: And if you don't go back this instant, we'll
get you for all you've done! We'll--
::Van comes from behind her and slams her over the head with his staff. She
staggers a moment, then stands motionless::
Giant: Where's Master, Karou-sama? ::Duo runs onstage weeping; she sees Akemi
and screams; Rina restrains her:: Is that him? I can't see from way up
here.
Witch: No. No. This is not the boy. ::to Duo:: Stay here!
Steward: The boy is hiding in the Steeple tower.
::Ty enters::
Rapunzel's Prince: ::To Rina:: Rapunzel!
Witch: I'm the Witch you stupid idiot. ::Throws Duo at him:: That's Rapunzel.
Rapunzel: Not by choice!!
Rapunzel's Prince: I thought you was a boy.
Rapunzel: I AM!!!
Stepmother: That's true.
Florinda, Lucinda: Yes...
Giant: If he is not, I will return and find you! ::Slightly whinny:: Master?
Master!
Rapunzel's Prince: Rapunzel!
::Akemi begins to exit, still calling for Kenshin. On the second footstep, Duo
runs towards her::
Rapunzel's Prince: Rapunzel, my…er… love, wait...
::Ty begins to follow her off stage::
Steward: No, don't step on...
::we hear a loud squish noise; the group winces; Ty returns, looking disgusted,
pauses near the edge of the stage then throws up::
Witch: Ty!! ::Runs over:: You ok?
Rapunzel's Prince: ::nods:: Give me a minute… ::Continues to throw up. Rina begins rubbing his back::
Witch: Clear Shadow should've warned you.
Rapunzel's Prince: She did….she just never said how real
it would look… ::Rina looks highly disgusted and backs off. Karou moans::
Baker: She's in poor condition.
Baker's Wife: Wake up. ::Light slap::
Jack's Mother: ::fighting for breath:: Don't let them get Jack.
Baker's Wife: We won't.
Jack's Mother: Promise me you let him be hurt. As I stand here at death's door.
Baker: I'll do all I can.
Jack's Mother: Promise! Promise!
Baker: Alright! I promise. Sheesh…
Baker's Wife: ::Hits him::
::Karou dies in true anime fashion. Miaka sidles beside her and stares Matiko's
right behind her::
Baker's Wife: No, no. Come away from there. ::pulls them away; to Van:: You
killed her! Bastard!
Steward: I was thinking of the greater good... or something like that. I dunno…
That's my job.
::The guys drag Karou offstage. She curses as they accidentally drop her. Rina
stands by herself, looking like a lost little girl::
Witch: ::looking offstage to where Duo was killed::
THIS WAS THE WORLD I MEANT,
COULDN'T YOU LISTEN?
COULDN'T YOU STAY CONTENT
SAFE BEHIND WALLS?
AS I COULD NOT?
NOW YOU KNOW WHAT'S OUT THERE IN THE WORLD
NO ONE CAN PREPARE YOU FOR THE WORLD
EVEN I
HOW COULD I WHO LOVED YOU AS YOU WERE
HOW COULD I HAVE SHIELDED YOU FROM HER?
OR THEM? ::Glares at the others
accusingly. They don't notice::
NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY,
CHILDREN WON'T LISTEN.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU KNOW
CHILDREN REFUSE TO LEARN.
GUIDE THEM ALONG THE WAY,
STILL THEY WON'T LISTEN.
CHILDREN CAN ONLY GROW
FROM SOMETHING YOU LOVE
TO SOMETHING YOU LOSE.
::The guys come back. Miroku is rubbing the side of his face
where there's a red handprint::
Stepmother: Life was so steady, and now this! When are things going to return
to normal?
Steward: We must be gone if we're to arrive before nightfall.
Baker: Where are you going?
Lucinda: We're off to a hidden kingdom.
Stepmother: Shhh. We can't take everyone.
Witch: ::Bitter and more than a little pissed:: Fools! Idiots!! There is
nowhere to hide!
Baker: You'll never get there. We have to stay and find our way out of this
together.
Stepmother: ::sincere:: Some people are meant to fight giants. I'm not one
of them. See ya. ::Gives an ironic salute:: 'Side all well's that ends well
right?
Baker: Not always.
::Irvine, Moonbay, Fiona, Dr. D and Van exit::
Little Red Ridinghood: ::Resentful:: I hope the giant steps on them all.
Little Red Runningshorts: ::Shocked:: Miaka!
Baker's Wife: You shouldn't say that!
::Rina, who has been quietly standing off to the side, turns around. She no
longer looks lost but rather very, very angry::
Witch: You were thinking the same thing.
Little Red Ridinghood: This is terrible. We just saw three people die!
Witch: ::bitter:: Since when are you so squeamish? How many wolves have you
carved up?
Little Red Ridinghood: A wolf's not the same.
Little Red Runningshorts: Not even a little similar.
Witch: Ask a wolf's mother!
Baker: Stop it!
Witch: I suggest that we find that boy now and give her what she wants.
Little Red Ridinghood: If we give her the boy, she'll kill him too.
Witch: And if we don't, she'll kill half the kingdom!
Baker's Wife: One step at a time. Maybe if he apologizes. Makes amends.
Baker: Yes! He'll return the stolen goods.
Little Red Ridinghood: Yes!
Little Red Runningshorts: A perfect plan!
Baker's Wife: He's really a sweet boy at heart. She'll see that.
Witch: You people are so blind! It's because of that boy that there's a giant
in our land! While you continue talking about this problem, I'll find the lad
and I'll serve him to the giant for lunch! ::she exits::
Little Red Ridinghood: Are we going to let her feed the boy to the giant?
Baker's Wife: No!
Baker: I'll have to find him first.
Baker's Wife: I'll go too.
Baker: No! Stay here with the baby.
Baker's Wife: We'll fan out. It will increase our chances of finding him.
Baker: What if one of us gets lost?
Baker's Wife: We'll count our steps from right here. ::Miaka and Matiko come
over:: No. You stay here with the baby. I do not want you roaming about the
Woods. You'll both get lost and your parents will kill us.
Baker: You would leave our child with them? He might set him on fire.
Baby (Amari): Cousin Matiko wouldn't do that, right?
Little Red Runningshorts: 'Course not.
Baker's Wife: The baby is asleep. He will be safe with these kids.
Baker: But what if the giant were to return here...!
Baker's Wife: The giant will not harm them. I know.
Baker: How do you know?
Baker's Wife: I know!
Baker: But what if...
Baker's Wife: But what if! BUT WHAT IF! I'M GOING TO WHAT IF YOU!!! Will only a
giant's foot stop your arguing. One hundred paces...GO!
::pause. They stare at each other for a moment, then Miroku leans over and
kisses her::
Baker: Be careful.
::They leave in opposite directions Miaka and Matiko stay with the baby::
::Chiyumi is counting to herself and runs into Ashi
Baker's Wife: 81...82...83...84…::she sees Ashi and bows:: Hello, S— Ayashi?
What they hell are you doing here? I thought Raven was Cinderella's Prince.
Cinderella's Prince: I'm the understudy and don't call me that!!
Baker's Wife: Feh.
Cinderella's Prince: ::continuing to walk:: Hello.
Baker's Wife: You must be here to slay the giant.
Cinderella's Prince: No just walkin'. I mean! Yes, Yes I am here to slay the
giant.
Baker's Wife: Have you come upon her yet?
Cinderella's Prince: No. It's a her?
Baker's Wife: Yep. I saw her.
Cinderella's Prince: ::stops walking:: You have?
Baker's Wife: Yep.
Cinderella's Prince: Well, why are ya here by yourself?
Baker's Wife: I came with my husband. We were...well, it's a
long story.
Cinderella's Prince: ::Suspicious:: Who's dat?
Baker's Wife: ::Defensive:: Miroku-san.
Cinderella's Prince: He would let you roam alone in the
woods? Oh wait, he's probably groping
other members of the cast.
Baker's Wife: No, actually, it was my choice… though I think I'm regretting it
now. I'm looking for Chibi-Samurai-Kun.
Cinderella's Prince: ::moves closer:: Your choice? How brave.
Baker's Wife: ::Step back:: Brave?
Cinderella's Prince: ::next to her:: Yes.
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN THE WOODS
MAY I KISS YOU?
Baker's Wife: Excuse me?!?
Cinderella's Prince: ANY MOMENT WE COULD BE CRUSHED
Baker's Wife: Uh...
Cinderella's Prince: DON'T FEEL RUSHED
::He leans in, Chiyumi sticks a hand up and he winds up kissing her hand::
Baker's Wife: Are you nuts kid? Get back and get back now.
Cinderella's Prince: ::Just realizing what the hell is going on:: Wait a minute… ::Reading the script:: WHAT THE FREAKIN' HELL?!?!
Baker's Wife: Didn't you read the script before taking this on?!?
Cinderella's Prince: ::Shakes head, Chiyumi smacks him upside the head:: Don't do that!! CLEAR SHADOW!!!
Baker's Wife: They're not here.
Cinderella's Prince: How come?
Baker's Wife: Rina threw them at the Giant.
Cinderella's Prince: Good. I'm not continuing this song. Can we just go to the end?
Baker's Wife: Do the last couple of verses.
Cinderella's Prince: Why the hell should I?
Baker's Wife: I'll feed you.
Cinderella's Prince: ::Excited:: Ok! RIGHT AND WRONG DON'T MATTER IN THE WOODS.
ONLY FEELINGS.
LET US MEET THE MOMENT
UNBLUSHED.
LIFE IS OFTEN SO UNPLEASANT...
YOU MUST KNOW THAT AS A
PEASANT...
BEST TO TAKE THE MOMENT PRESENT
AS A PRESENT FOR THE MOMENT.
::As Ashi takes Chiyumi into the glade—::
Baker's Wife, Cinderella's Prince: WHAT?!?!?
::You take her into the glade to do some…how does Yume put it? Ah. Investigating. You two are investigating::
Baker's Wife: HE'S TEN YEARS OLD!!!! ::I didn't write it!!::
Cinderella's Prince: ::Panicked:: I don't think I like this!! ::Chill out. You just have to go offstage::
Baker's Wife: I'll never be able to face you again you realize that right?
Cinderella's Prince: Got it. ::They exit::
::Miroku encounters Lilli at her Mother's grave; the tree is shattered. she is weeping::
Cinderella: Weeping, weeping. Do I do anything else in this
goddamn play? ::No, not really:: Oh for crying out loud. This is ridiculous…
Baker: ::offstage, then entering:: Jack? Jack? JACK!!! 81...82...83... ::he sees Lilli:: What's
wrong Ma'am? May I be of some service? Will you bear my child?
Cinderella: The tree has fallen. Mother's grave, destroyed. Damn this sucks…
and no I will not.
Baker: Oh, I'm sorry.
Cinderella: My wishes have just been crushed.
Baker: Don't say that. ::Inches closer::
Cinderella: ::Inches away:: It's true. You wouldn't understand.
Baker: ::Inches closer:: Well you can't stay here. There's a giant on the
loose.
Cinderella: ::Inches away:: I'm certain the Prince will see to it that the
giant is rid from our land.
Baker: ::Inches closer:: There's no sign of the Prince. No doubt he's off
seducing some young maiden.
Cinderella: ::Inches away:: What?
Baker: ::Inches closer:: I understand it's what princes do.
Cinderella: No that's what you do. ::Inches away:: Now get back!
Baker: ::Sigh:: You look just like the Princess...only
dirty. You are the Princess.
::he drops as if bowing but in reality is looking up Lilli's dress::
Cinderella: Please. Get up. Get up! ::sees what he's doing and kicks him across
the stage:: Stop that!
::Miroku stands back up and hobbles back over::
Baker: What are you to do?
Cinderella: I must be on my way back to the castle.
Baker: You haven't heard? We came upon the Royal Family. The castle has been
set upon by the giant. The cowards have left.
Cinderella: Stupid son of a bitch. I'm going to kill them. And the Prince?
Baker: He was not with them. ::beat:: You must come with me. You shall be safe
in our company.
Cinderella: I think I'd feel safer in someone else's company.
Baker: ::sigh::
::They exit and we see Chiyumi and Ashi who are on the ground investigating::
Baker's Wife: WE ARE NOT INVESTIGATING!!! STOP SAYING THAT!!!
Cinderella's Prince: What exactly is investigating?
Baker's Wife: Nothing. Never mind.
::Question::
Baker's Wife: ::Tiredly:: What?
::What are you two doing?::
Cinderella's Prince: Blackjack!
Baker's Wife: Clear Shadow taught me how to play. It's great! ::Holds up a handful of papers:: See what I won from him?
::What?::
Baker's Wife: ::Leafing through the papers:: Phantom Hawk Gundam, Dan's racing broom, some of Kuduo's bandanas, Kasey's jewelry.
Cinderella's Prince: Stop, stop! They don't need to know alla that!!
Baker's Wife: You should've considered that before you bet other people's property.
Cinderella's Prince: Oh shut up…
::Can we continue?::
Baker's Wife: Yeah. Go 'head Ashi-kun. It's your line.
Cinderella's Prince: Yeah, yeah, yeah…I must leave you.
Baker's Wife: Why?
Cinderella's Prince: The giant, remember?
Baker's Wife: The giant. I had almost forgotten. Will we find each other in the
woods again?
Cinderella's Prince: THIS WAS JUST A MOMENT IN THE WOODS.
OUR MOMENT,
SHIMMERING AND LOVELY AND SAD.
LEAVE THE MOMENT, JUST BE GLAD
FOR THE MOMENT THAT WE HAD.
EVERY MOMENT IS OF THE MOMENT
WHEN YOU'RE IN THE WOODS...
::Music continues under::
Now, I must go off to slay the giant. Before I lose my shirt or something ::he gives her a quick kiss:: No! No kissing! ::How about a handshake?:: …………..Yeah alright. ::He shakes her hand:: I shall not forget you. How brave you are to be alone in the Woods. And how alive you've made me feel or something like that…I lost my script.
Baker's Wife: You should've had it memorized Ayashi-Chan.
Cinderella's Prince: Shut up Chiyumi. ::he exits::
Baker's Wife: ::sits stunned; music briefly, stops:: What was that? ::music
resumes::
WAS THAT ME?
WAS THAT HIM?
DID A PRINCE REALLY KISS ME?
AND KISS ME?
AND KISS ME?
AND DID I KISS HIM BACK?
WAS IT WRONG?
AM I MAD?
IS THAT ALL?
DOES HE MISS ME?
WAS HE SUDDENLY
GETTING BORED WITH ME? ::she stands::
WAKE UP! STOP DREAMING.
STOP PRANCING ABOUT THE WOODS.
IT'S NOT BESEEMING.
WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE WOODS? ::firm::
BACK TO LIFE, BACK TO SENSE,
BACK TO CHILD, BACK TO HUSBAND,
YOU CAN'T LIVE IN THE WOODS.
THERE ARE VOWS, THERE ARE TIES,
THERE ARE NEEDS, THERE ARE STANDARDS,
THERE ARE SHOULDN'TS AND SHOULDS.
WHY NOT BOTH INSTEAD? ::Dreamy expression::
THERE'S THE ANSWER, IF YOU'RE CLEVER;
HAVE A CHILD FOR WARMTH
AND A BAKER FOR BREAD
AND A PRINCE FOR WHATEVER...
NEVER!
IT'S THESE WOODS.
FACE THE FACTS, FIND THE BOY,
JOIN THE GROUP, STOP THE GIANT...
JUST GET OUT OF THESE WOODS.
WAS THAT HIM? YES IT WAS.
WAS THAT ME? NO, IT WASN'T,
JUST A TRICK OF THE WOODS.
JUST A MOMENT, ::Leans against a tree wistfully::
ONE PECULIAR PASSING MOMENT.
MUST IT BE EITHER LESS OR MORE
EITHER PLAIN OR GRAND?
IS IT ALWAYS "OR"?
IS IT NEVER "AND"?
THAT'S WHAT WOODS ARE FOR;
FOR THOSE MOMENTS IN THE WOODS...
OH, IF LIFE WERE MADE OF MOMENTS,
EVEN NOW AND THEN A BAD ONE...
BUT IF LIFE WERE ONLY MOMENTS,
THEN YOU'D NEVER KNOW YOU HAD ONE.
FIRST A WITCH, THEN A CHILD,
THEN A PRINCE, THEN A MOMENT...
WHO CAN LIVE IN THE WOODS?
AND TO GET WHAT YOU WISH,
ONLY JUST FOR A MOMENT...
THESE ARE DANGEROUS WOODS...
LET THE MOMENT GO...
DON'T FORGET IT FOR A MOMENT THOUGH.
JUST REMEMBERING YOU'VE AN "AND"
WHEN YOU'RE BACK TO "OR"
MAKES THE "OR" MEAN MORE
THAN IT DID BEFORE
NOW I UNDERSTAND... ::sighs, starts walking faster::
AND IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THE WOODS. ::Chiyumi finishes
the song and begins counting her steps offstage. She pauses and sniffs the air around her, then turns and takes off in another direction, pauses, sniffs and realizes that she's completely lost. Overhead are the sound of Akemi's footsteps and her plaintive calls for Kenshin. Chiyumi panics as the trees around her crash to the ground and runs blindly ion one direction. Trees fall around her and she disappears from view.
::set change. We see Miroku, Lilli, Miaka, Matiko sitting in
a circle playing "Crocodili Oh My"::
Baker: She should be back by now.
Little Red Ridinghood: She wouldn't get lost.
Cinderella: I'm sure she'll return.
Little Red Runningshorts: She's good at finding her way.
::Gets hands clapped by Miaka:: Oh! I lost!
Baker: No. I must go in search of her.
Little Red Ridinghood: We'll come too.
Baker: No. You stay here. You'll get lost. I'll count 100 paces. I shall return
soon. 1...2...3...
::Rina makes a noisy entrance with Kenshin in tow; she has a firm grip on him
and is telling him off for something. Kenshin drops Chiyumi's Shukusens as he
enters::
Witch: Look who I found!
Jack: Please don't let her give me to the giant!
Witch: It's not our fault the giant wants you!
::Miroku notices the Shukusens and picks them up::
Cinderella: Let go of him!
Little Red Ridinghood: Leave him alone!
Little Red Runningshorts: Yeah!
Baker: Where did you find this? ::Rina lets go of Kenshin:: Where is my wife?
Witch: She's dead.
Baker: ::he stops:: What?
Jack: ::Runs over to where the group is:: I'm sorry sir. I came upon her, that
I did. She was under a tree, that she was...
Witch: He was sobbing over her like she was his own mother!
Jack: She's a good person, that she is. I felt bad, that I
did.
Cinderella: How awful...
Baker: How could this happen? I should never have let her wander off alone.
Jack: I buried her in a footprint, that I did.
Baker: I should have insisted she stay at home.
Witch: Remorse will get you nowhere.
Baker: ::angry:: My wife is dead!
Witch: ::Equally angry:: Wake up! People are dying all around you. You are not
the only one to suffer a loss. When you're dead, you're dead. Now it's time to
get this boy to the giant before we're all so much dead meat. ::she grabs
Kenshin who struggles::
Cinderella: ::trying to free Kenshin:: Keep away from him!
Little Red Ridinghood: ::joining Lilli:: No!
Little Red Runningshorts: Leave him alone!
Witch: This is no time to be softhearted! He's going to the giant and I'm
taking him...
Baker: ::advancing, distraught:: Yes. He's the one to blame. ::to Kenshin::
It's because of you there's a giant in our midst and my wife is dead.
Jack: BUT IT ISN'T MY FAULT,
I WAS GIVEN THOSE BEANS!
::referring to Miroku::
YOU PERSUADED
ME TO TRADE AWAY MY COW FOR BEANS!
AND WITHOUT THOSE BEANS
THERE'D HAVE BEEN NO STALK
TO GET UP TO THE GIANT'S
IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Baker: WAIT A MINUTE, MAGIC BEANS
FOR A COW SO OLD
THAT YOU HAD TO TELL
A LIE TO SELL IT
WHICH YOU TOLD!
WERE THEY WORTHLESS BEANS?
WERE THEY OVER SOLD OH AND TELL US WHO
PERSUADED YOU
TO STEAL THAT GOLD?
Little Red Ridinghood: ::Shoves Kenshin:: SEE, IT'S YOUR
FAULT
Jack: NO!
Baker: SO IT'S YOUR FAULT
Jack: NO!
Little Red Runningshorts: ::shoves Kenshin:: YES, IT IS!
Jack: IT'S NOT!
Baker: IT'S TRUE
Jack: ::to Miroku:: WAIT A MINUTE...
THOUGH I
ONLY STOLE THE GOLD
TO GET MY COW BACK
FROM YOU!
Little Red Ridinghood: ::Shoves Miroku:: SO IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Jack: YES!
Baker: NO, IT ISN'T!
I'D HAVE KEPT THOSE BEANS,
BUT OUR HOUSE WAS CURSED ::pointing
at Rina::
SHE MADE US GET A COW
TO GET THE CURSE REVERSED!
Witch: IT'S HIS FATHER'S FAULT
THAT THE CURSE GOT PLACED
AND THE PLACE GOT CURSED
IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Little Red Ridinghood: OH, THEN
IT'S HIS FAULT!
Witch: SO?
Cinderella: IT WAS HIS FAULT...
Jack: NO.
Baker: YES, IT IS.
IT'S HIS
Cinderella: I GUESS...
Jack: WAIT A MINUTE, THOUGH...
I CHOPPED
DOWN THE BEANSTALK...
RIGHT, THAT'S CLEAR
BUT WITHOUT ANY BEANSTALK
THEN WHAT'S QUEER IS
HOW DID THE SECOND GIANT GET
DOWN HERE
IN THE FIRST PLACE ::confused::
SECOND
PLACE...
Cinderella: YES!
Little Red Runningshorts: HOW?
Baker: HMM...
Jack: WELL,
WHO HAD THE OTHER BEAN?
Baker: THE OTHER BEAN?
Cinderella: THE OTHER BEAN?
Jack: ::to Miroku:: YOU POCKETED THE OTHER BEAN
Baker: I DIDN'T.
YES, I DID.
Little Red Ridinghood: ::Going to shove him:: SO, IT'S YOUR F...!
Baker: NO, IT ISN'T,
'CAUSE I GAVE IT TO MY WIFE!
Little Red Runningshorts: SO, IT'S HER F...!
Baker: NO, IT ISN'T!!
Cinderella: THEN WHOSE IS IT?
Baker: WAIT A MINUTE! ::Advances on Lilli excitedly::
SHE EXCHANGED THAT BEAN
TO OBTAIN YOUR SHOE,
SO, THE ONE WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE BEAN IS YOU!
Cinderella: YOU MEAN THAT OLD BEAN...
THAT YOUR WIFE...? OH DEAR... ::as they all look at her::
BUT I NEVER KNEW,
AND SO I THREW...
WELL, DON'T LOOK HERE!
Little Red Ridinghood: ::shoves her:: SO, IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Cinderella: ::Shoves back:: BUT...
Jack: SEE, IT'S HER FAULT...
Cinderella: BUT...
Jack: AND IT ISN'T MINE AT ALL!
Baker: ::to Lilli:: BUT WHAT?
Cinderella: ::Shoves Kenshin, he falls over:: WELL, IF YOU HADN'T
GONE BACK UP AGAIN...
Jack: ::Gets back up:: WE WERE NEEDY...
Cinderella: ::Shoves him again, he falls down again:: YOU WERE GREEDY!
DID YOU NEED THAT
HEN?
Jack: ::Gets back up:: BUT I GOT IT FOR MY MOTHER...!
Little Red Ridinghood: SO, IT'S HER FAULT THEN!
Cinderella: ::Shoves him a third time, he falls:: YES, AND WHAT ABOUT THE HARP
IN THE THIRD PLACE?
Baker: The Harp, yes!
Jack: ::referring to Miaka:: SHE WENT AND DARED ME TO!
Little Red Ridinghood: I DARED YOU TO?
Jack: YOU DARED ME TO! to others::
SHE SAID
THAT I WAS SCARED TO.
SHE DARED ME!
Little Red Ridinghood: NO, I DIDN'T!
Jack: SO, IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Little Red Ridinghood: WAIT A MINUTE...!
Cinderella: IF YOU HADN'T DARED HIM TO...
Baker: ::to Kenshin:: ...AND IF YOU HAD LEFT THE HARP ALONE,
WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS TROUBLE
IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Little Red Ridinghood: ::to Lilli, overlapping. They begin to shove each other
back and forth as Matiko watches::
WELL, IF YOU
HADN'T THROWN AWAY THE BEAN
IN THE FIRST PLACE...!
IT WAS YOUR FAULT!
Cinderella: ::looking at Rina:: WELL, IF SHE HADN'T
RAISED THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE...!
Jack: ::overlapping, to Rina:: YES, IF YOU HADN'T RAISED THEM
IN THE FIRST PLACE...!
Little Red Ridinghood, Baker: ::to Rina:: IT WAS YOU WHO RAISED THEM
IN THE FIRST PLACE...!
Cinderella: ::simultaneous:: YOU RAISED THE BEANS IN THE FIRST PLACE!
Jack: IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Little Red Ridinghood, Baker, Jack, Cinderella: YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE!
YOU'RE
THE ONE TO BLAME!
IT'S YOUR FAULT!
::Rina holds up a hand wearily::
Witch: IT'S THE LAST MIDNIGHT.
IT'S THE LAST WISH
IT'S THE LAST MIDNIGHT.
SOON IT WILL BE BOOM...
::stamps her foot::
SQUISH! ::squishes; squish sound. confronting each in turn::
TOLD A LITTLE LIE,
STOLE A LITTLE GOLD,
BROKE A LITTLE VOW
DID YOU?
HAD TO GET YOUR PRINCE,
HAD TO GET YOUR COW,
HAVE TO GET YOUR WISH,
DOESN'T MATTER HOW,
ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW!
IT'S THE LAST MIDNIGHT.
IT'S THE BOOM...
SPLAT! ::splat sound::
NOTHING BUT A VAST MIDNIGHT
EVERYBODY SMASHED FLAT!
NOTHING WE CAN DO.
NOT EXACTLY TRUE;
WE CAN ALWAYS GIVE HER THE BOY!
::they protect Kenshin as she reaches for him. She shrugs::
NO?
NO, OF COURSE WHAT REALLY MATTERS
IS THE BLAME,
SOMEBODY TO BLAME.
FINE IF THAT'S THE THING YOU ENJOY
PLACING THE BLAME
IF THAT'S THE AIM,
GIVE ME THE BLAME...
JUST GIVE ME THE BOY!
Little Red Ridinghood, Cinderella: No!
Witch: NO...
YOU'RE SO NICE
YOU'RE NOT GOOD,
YOU'RE NOT BAD,
YOU'RE JUST NICE.
I'M NOT GOOD
I'M NOT NICE
I'M JUST RIGHT!
I'M THE WITCH
YOU'RE THE WORLD.
I'M THE HITCH,
I'M WHAT NO ONE BELIEVES,
I'M A WITCH.
YOU'RE ALL LIARS AND THIEVES
LIKE HIS FATHER,
LIKE HIS SON WILL BE TOO... ::throws hands up::
OH, WHY BOTHER?
YOU'LL JUST DO WHAT YOU DO.
IT'S THE LAST MIDNIGHT.
SO, GOODBYE ALL.
COMING AT YOU FAST, MIDNIGHT...
SOON YOU'LL SEE THE SKY FALL. ::Rina begins to throw beans around throughout the next verse as everyone else tries to pick them up before they grow::
HERE, YOU WANT ANOTHER BEAN?
HAVE ANOTHER BEAN.
BEANS WERE MADE FOR MAKING YOU RICH!
PLANT THEM AND THEY SOAR...
HERE, YOU WANT SOME MORE?
LISTEN TO THE ROAR;
GIANTS BY THE SCORE...!
OH WELL, YOU CAN BLAME ANOTHER WITCH.
IT'S THE LAST MIDNIGHT,
IT'S THE LAST VERSE.
NOW, BEFORE IT'S PAST MIDNIGHT,
I'M LEAVING YOU MY LAST CURSE;
I'M LEAVING YOU ALONE.
YOU CAN TEND THE GARDEN, IT'S YOURS.
SEPARATE AND ALONE,
EVERYBODY DOWN ON ALL FOURS.
ALRIGHT MOTHER, WHEN?
LOST THE BEANS AGAIN!
PUNISH ME THE WAY YOU DID THEN!
GIVE ME CLAWS AND A HUNCH
JUST AWAY FROM THIS BUNCH
AND THE GLOOM
AND THE DOOM
AND THE BOOM
CRUNNNCH!
::she disappears::
Jack: Maybe I shouldn't have stolen from the Giant, that I shouldn't have.
Little Red Ridinghood: Maybe I shouldn't have strayed from the path...
Little Red Runningshorts: Or left home at all
Cinderella: Maybe I shouldn't have attended the ball...
Baker: Yes, maybe you shouldn't have.
::Miroku begins to exit::
Jack: Where are you going?
Baker: Away from here.
Little Red Ridinghood: But you said we had to find our way out of this
together.
Baker: It doesn't matter whether we're together or apart.
Jack: We need your help, we do.
Little Red Runningshorts: Yeah.
Baker: You don't understand. My wife was the only one who really helped. I
depended on her for everything. ::moves further::
Cinderella: You would leave your child?
Baker: ::sad:: My child will be happier in the arms of a princess.
::Miroku exits::
Cinderella: But wait...
Little Red Runningshorts: Is this bad?
Little Red Ridinghood: Yeah.
::Lilli, Kenshin, Miaka and Matiko exit::
::Miroku is walking morosely through the woods and is surprised by Inuyasha::
Baker: I thought you were dead.
Mysterious Man: Feh. Me?
Baker: As far as I'm concerned you are.
Mysterious Man: Feh.
Baker: It's because of you all this has happened.
Mysterious Man: I went into the damn garden to get somethin' for your mother,
and took the damn beans. How was I supposed to know what was gonna happen next?
Then when she croaked I took off. Ain't you doin' the same thing?
Baker: No.
Mysterious Man: Feh.
Baker: NO MORE QUESTIONS.
PLEASE.
NO MORE TESTS.
COMES THE DAY YOU SAY "WHAT FOR?"
PLEASE...NO MORE.
Mysterious Man: THEY DISAPPOINT,
THEY DISAPPEAR,
THEY DIE BUT THEY DON'T...
Baker: What?
Mysterious Man: THEY DISAPPOINT,
IN TURN, I FEAR.
FORGIVE, THOUGH, THEY WON'T...
Baker: NO MORE RIDDLES.
NO MORE JESTS.
NO MORE CURSES YOU CAN'T UNDO,
LEFT BY FATHERS YOU NEVER KNEW
NO MORE QUESTS.
NO MORE FEELINGS
TIME TO SHUT THE DOOR
JUST...NO MORE.
Mysterious Man: RUNNING AWAY...LET'S DO IT
FREE FROM THE TIES THAT BIND.
NO MORE DESPAIR,
OR BURDENS TO BEAR,
OUT THERE IN THE YONDER. ::Points into the distance::
RUNNING AWAY...GO TO IT.
WHERE DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?
HAVE TO TAKE CARE;
UNLESS THERE'S A "WHERE",
YOU'LL ONLY BE WANDERING BLIND.
JUST MORE QUESTIONS.
DIFFERENT KIND.
WHERE ARE WE TO GO?
WHERE ARE WE EVER TO GO?
RUNNING AWAY...WE'LL DO IT.
WHY SIT AROUND, RESIGNED?
TROUBLE IS, SON
THE FARTHER YOU RUN
THE MORE YOU FEEL UNDEFINED
FOR WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT UNDONE
AND, MORE, WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT BEHIND.
WE DISAPPOINT,
WE LEAVE A MESS
WE DIE BUT
WE DON'T...
Baker: WE DISAPPOINT
IN TURN, I GUESS.
FORGET, THOUGH, WE WON'T...
Baker, Mysterious Man: LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.
Baker: ::as Inuyasha disappears::
NO MORE GIANTS,
WAGING WAR. ::Gets more and more passionate::
CAN'T WE JUST PURSUE OUR LIVES
WITH OUR CHILDREN AND OUR WIVES?
TILL THAT HAPPY DAY ARRIVES,
HOW DO YOU IGNORE
ALL THE WITCHES,
ALL THE CURSES
ALL THE WOLVES
ALL THE LIES
THE FALSE HOPES, THE GOODBYES, THE REVERSES,
ALL THE WONDERING WHAT EVEN WORSE
IS STILL IN STORE?
ALL THE CHILDREN...
ALL THE GIANTS...
::after a moment's thought::
NO MORE.
::Miroku exits and returns to where he left the others. They are playing
"Crocodilli Oh My::
Cinderella: I knew you wouldn't give up.
Jack: He wouldn't leave his baby, that he wouldn't.
Little Red Ridinghood: It looked like he was going to. ::Slaps Matiko's hand::
Little Red Runningshorts: Again?!?
Baker: Give me my son. ::Miroku takes Amari, Amari begins to cry::
He always cries when I... ::Amari stops crying::
Baby: Why do I hafta cry?
Ceres: It's in the script kiddo.
Eriol: Gotta deal.
Baby: Oh…..
Cinderella: Now what are we going to do?
Baker: We must have a plan before the giant returns.
Jack: What?
Baker: We all have to think.
Jack: If there were just some way we could surprise her.
Little Red Ridinghood: She's too tall to surprise.
Little Red Runningshorts: And too bouncy.
::birds descend, twittering::
Cinderella: Oh, good friends, I need your help now more than ever. ::she
listens:: What of the Prince? ::she listens, glancing at Miroku as if he
understands the birds:: Stupid asshole!! I'll kill him!!!!! Ahem… what's
important now is that we find a way to kill the giant. How can you help? ::she
listens:: You could do that? ::She listens:: How can I ever thank you? ::birds
fly off as Lilli waves goodbye::
Little Red Ridinghood: You can talk to birds?
Cinderella: ::Shrugs:: I have many talents. The birds will help.
Jack: How?
Cinderella: When the giant returns, they'll attack her and peck out her eyes 'til
she's blind.
Baker: What good will that do?
Cinderella: Then you can surprise her. Strike her...or whatever you do to kill
a giant.
Baker: Once she's blinded she'll stagger about.
Jack: She'll get scared, she will.
Little Red Ridinghood: And she'll crush us.
Little Red Runningshorts: And that'll suck.
Baker: Smear the ground with pitch.
Cinderella: What?
Baker: We'll lure her to an area smeared with pitch.
Cinderella: Her shoes will stick, and she won't be able to move.
Jack: And I will climb a tree and strike her from behind, I will. ::Sighs::
Poor Akemi-Chan isn't going to like this at all, she won't.
Baker: I will climb a tree too. It will take two mighty blows.
Little Red Ridinghood: I'm excited.
Little Red Runningshorts: I'm hungry…
Jack: I'm going to kill another giant, I am.
Baker: Quick. It will be dark soon. We must find the pitch.
Little Red Ridinghood: There's some at Mousse-san's.
Baker: ::hands the baby to Lilli:: The baby will be safe here with you. This
will take no time.
::The others exit. Amari begins to cry::
Cinderella: Oh no. Now, now, don't cry little one. I know you want your mother.
::Amari begins to calm down. Ashi bounds onstage; he doesn't recognize Lilli,
nor Lilli him::
Cinderella's Prince: Hello.
Cinderella: Hi. Who're you?
Cinderella's Prince: The Prince apparently.
Cinderella: What? I thought that, that boy was the new Prince. The one who threw up earlier.
Cinderella's Prince: I'm Cinderella's Prince.
Cinderella: You are?? Oh then you're the one who—Oh so Raven didn't—I'm so relieved!!
Cinderella's Prince: Uhh sure lady. Whatever.
::he begins to cross the stage to exit::
Cinderella: The Giant went in that direction.
Cinderella's Prince: ::realizing it must be Cinderella:: My darling. I did not
recognize you. What are you doing in those old clothes? And with a child? Is
that supposed to mine or somethin'?!? You must go back to the castle at once.
There's a giant on the loose.
Cinderella: The Giant has been to the castle.
Cinderella's Prince: No! Are you alright? ::Lilli nods and walks away:: My
love, why so cold?
Cinderella: Maybe it's because I am not your only love. Am I?
Cinderella's Prince: ::beat:: I love you. I do. ::pause:: But yes, it's true.
Cinderella: Why, if you love me, would you have strayed?
Cinderella's Prince: I thought if you were mine, then I couldn't wish for more.
And part of me is cool with that. But there remains a part that continually
needs more. ::Looks happy that he
remembered his lines so well::
Cinderella: I have, on occasion, wanted more. But that doesn't mean I went in
search of it. If this is how you behave as a Prince, what kind of King will you
be?
Cinderella's Prince: I was raised to be charmin', not sincere. I didn't ask to
be born a king, and I'm not perfect. I am only human.
Offstage:: A-HEM!!!
Cinderella's Prince: Half human. Whatever.
Cinderella: ::after a pause:: I think you should go.
Cinderella's Prince: Leave? But I do love you. And food. Food is always good.
Cinderella: Consider that I have been lost. ::Bitter:: A victim of the Giant.
Cinderella's Prince: Is that what you really want?
Cinderella: My father's house was a nightmare. Your house was a dream. Now I
want something in between. Please go.
::Ashi begins to exit::
Cinderella's Prince: I'll always love the runaway girl.
Cinderella: And I the faraway Prince.
::Ashi exits. Another moment then Miaka and Matiko enter::
Little Red Ridinghood: They're almost finished. You see over there between
those two trees? When the giant comes, we are to send her over there.
Cinderella: Good.
Little Red Runningshorts: I wanted to climb the tree too.
Cinderella: I am glad that you are here to help me. ::Miaka begins to cry;
music begins::
What's wrong?
Little Red Ridinghood: Mousse-san's gone.
Cinderella: Oh no. I'm so sorry.
Little Red Ridinghood: I think my cousin and my mother would be very angry with
us.
Cinderella: Why?
Little Red Runningshorts: They said to always make them proud. And here we are
about to kill somebody.
Cinderella: Not somebody. A giant that has been doing harm.
Little Red Ridinghood: But the Giant's a person. Aren't we to show forgiveness?
Mother would be very unhappy with these circumstances.
Cinderella: MOTHER CANNOT GUIDE YOU.
NOW YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.
ONLY ME BESIDE YOU,
STILL, YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
NO-ONE IS ALONE, TRULY.
NO-ONE IS ALONE.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE LEAVE YOU,
HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD
OTHERS MAY DECEIVE
YOU,
YOU DECIDE WHAT'S
GOOD.
YOU DECIDE ALONE.
BUT NO-ONE IS ALONE.
Little Red Ridinghood, Little Red Runningshorts: I WISH...
Cinderella: I KNOW...
::The kids move closer to Lilli as the scene moves to Miroku and Kenshin::
Jack: Wait until Miss Karou hears I've slain the Giant. She'll be most upset
that I clubbed Akemi-Chan over the head, that she will.
Baker: Jack. Your mother is dead.
Jack: ::stunned:: Dead? Was she stepped on?
Baker: She was arguing with the Giant...trying to protect you...and she was
struck a deadly blow by the Prince's Steward.
Jack: Oh no. Why would he do that?
Baker: He was afraid she was provoking Akemi.
Jack: Can no one bring her back?
Baker: No one.
Jack: That Steward will pay for this, that he will. After we slay the Giant, I
will see to it, I will.
Baker: You will do nothing of the kind!
Jack: But he shouldn't have killed my mother, he most certainly shouldn't have.
Right?
Baker: I guess not.
Jack: Then he must pay.
Baker: Well, no.
Jack: ::getting worked up:: Why not?
Baker: Because that would be wrong.
Jack: But what he did was wrong. He should be punished, he should.
Baker: He will be, somehow.
Jack: How?
Baker: I don't know! ::angry:: Stop asking me questions I can't answer.
Jack: I'm going to kill him.
Baker: Then kill him. ::pause:: No, don't kill him. You'll regret it and scare
Akemi.
Cinderella: ::to Miaka and Matiko:: MOTHER ISN'T HERE NOW
Baker: ::to Kenshin:: WRONG THINGS, RIGHT THINGS...
Cinderella: WHO KNOWS WHAT SHE'D SAY?
Baker: WHO CAN SAY WHAT'S TRUE?
Cinderella: NOTHING'S QUITE SO CLEAR NOW...
Baker: DO THINGS, FIGHT THINGS...
Cinderella: FEEL YOU'VE LOST YOUR WAY?
Baker: YOU DECIDE, BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Cinderella: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
BELIEVE ME.
NO ONE IS ALONE.
Baker: NO ONE IS ALONE,
BELIEVE ME.
Cinderella: TRULY...
Cinderella, Baker: YOU MOVE JUST A FINGER,
SAY THE
SLIGHTEST WORD
SOMETHING'S BOUND TO LINGER,
BE HEARD.
Baker: NO ONE IS ALONE.
CAREFUL, NO ONE IS ALONE.
Cinderella, Baker: PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES.
Baker: FATHERS.
Cinderella: MOTHERS.
Cinderella, Baker: PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES,
HOLDING TO THEIR OWN,
THINKING
THEY'RE ALONE.
Cinderella: HONOR THEIR MISTAKES...
Baker: FIGHT FOR THEIR MISTAKES...
Cinderella, Baker: ONE ANOTHER'S TERRIBLE MISTAKES
WITCHES
CAN BE RIGHT.
GIANTS
CAN BE GOOD.
YOU
DECIDE WHAT'S RIGHT
YOU
DECIDE WHAT'S GOOD.
Cinderella: JUST REMEMBER:
Baker: JUST REMEMBER:
Cinderella, Baker: SOMEONE IS ON YOUR SIDE
Jack, Little Red Ridinghood, Little Red Runningshorts: OUR SIDE.
Cinderella, Baker: OUR SIDE...SOMEONE ELSE IS NOT.
WHILE
WE'RE SEEING OUR SIDE...
Jack, Little Red Ridinghood, Little Red Runningshorts: OUR SIDE...
Cinderella, Baker: OUR SIDE...
Cinderella, Baker, Jack, Little Red Ridinghood, Little Red Runningshorts: MAYBE
WE FORGOT:
THEY ARE NOT ALONE
NO ONE IS ALONE
Cinderella: HARD TO SEE THE LIGHT NOW
Baker: JUST DON'T LET IT GO
Cinderella, Baker: THINGS WILL TURN OUT RIGHT NOW.
WE CAN MAKE IT SO.
SOMEONE IS ON YOUR...
Little Red Ridinghood: Here she comes.
Cinderella: Remember. Don't let her know our plan. ::ground trembles; shadow is
cast, cheerful singing is heard::
Giant: Where is the boy?
Little Red Ridinghood: We don't know.
Cinderella: Yes we do! We can't go on hiding him any longer. He must pay the
price for his wrongs.
Giant: Quick. Tell me where he is.
Little Red Runningshorts: ::points:: Over there.
Cinderella: See that tree where the birds are clustered? Jack is in that tree,
hiding.
Giant: Thank you. Now justice will be served and I shall leave your kingdom.
::Akemi turns to head that way then freezes::
Cinderella: What's wrong?
Giant: ::Silence::
Little Red Ridinghood: I think she has stage fright.
Little Red Runningshorts: Naw. I think she knows what's coming.
Giant: ::Miserable:: I do and I don't want to go over there. Kenshin-sama's gonna bash me on the head.
Cinderella: ::Trying to adopt a soothing tone:: No he won't that's why these two and I have a running commentary. To make it seem like they're beating you up. See?
Giant: Really?
Little Red Runningshorts: You bet!
Giant: ::Runs in direction of trees as Lilli, Miaka and
Matiko watch::
Cinderella: Good birds!
::cry from Akemi::
Little Red Ridinghood: She doesn't look happy.
Little Red Runningshorts: ::Wince:: Owchie.
::we then hear Akemi pounded on the head; another cry::
Cinderella: ::grimace:: Ouch!
::another cry from Akemi::
Little Red Ridinghood: ::disgusted:: The club is stuck in her head!
Little Red Runningshorts: ::Makes a face::
Cinderella: But they've done it. She's swaying.
Little Red Ridinghood: She's bleeding all over!
Cinderella: She's beginning to fall!
Little Red Ridinghood: ::panicked:: She's beginning to fall this way!
Little Red Runningshorts: TIM—BER!!
::they back off the stage quickly, as the loudest noise of all resounds. Akemi
skips onstage, once again her scant four feet eleven inches and bows for the
nice readers::
Giant: Hee hee! I'm ok!! Nothing bad happened!!
::The following enter and give their moral and exit. Those
killed appear as ghosts::
Jack's Mother: The slotted spoon can catch the potato...
Mysterious Man: Every knot was once straight rope...
::Princes enter, Ty with Terr (Snow White) and Ashi with Hoshi (Sleeping
Beauty)::
Cinderella's Prince, Rapunzel's Prince: The harder to wake, the better to have.
Snow White, Sleeping Beauty: ::yawn:: Excuse me.
Steward: The greater the good, the harder the blow...
Stepmother: When going to hide, know how to get there.
Cinderella's Father: And how to get back...
Florinda/Lucinda: And eat first...
Granny: The knife that is sharp today may be dull by tomorrow...
Rapunzel: AH-AH-AH-AH-AH...
Giant: ::Waves cheerfully and skips offstage::
::Kenshin, Miroku, Lilli, Miaka, and Matiko enter from upstage::
Baker: Now we can return home and let us hope there will be no more killing.
Jack: Where am I to go? I have no one to take care of me, I don't.
Baker: You'll have to take care of yourself now Jack. It's time.
Little Red Ridinghood: No, it's not. I'll take care of him.
Jack: You will?
Little Red Ridinghood: Yes. I'll be your mother now.
Jack: I don't want another mother. I want a friend. And a pet.
Yahiko-White: ::Comes running onstage:: Ha ha! Thought I was
gone for good did you?!? ::laughs:: Well I am back!!!!
Little Red Ridinghood: ::Sweatdrop:: Of course, we have nowhere to go, so we'll
move in with you.
Baker: Oh no.
Little Red Runningshorts: It'll be fun!
Baker: My house is a shambles and there is hardly room for— ::he stops mid
sentence:: Of course you can come home with us.
Jack: ::to Lilli:: And you shall join us too, that you will.
Baker: You'll not return to the castle?
Cinderella: I'll gladly help you with your house. There are times when I
actually enjoy cleaning.
Baker: How proud my wife would have been of us. And how sad it is that my son
will never know her. Maybe I just wasn't meant to have children—
Baker's Wife: ::enters as ghost:: Don't say that! Of course you were meant to
have children!
Baker: But how will I go about being a father with no one to mother my child?
::Amari cries::
Baker's Wife: ::Puts one hand on Amari and the other on Miroku's cheek:: JUST
CALM THE CHILD.
Baker: ::attempting to do so:: YES. CALM THE CHILD.
Baker's Wife: LOOK, TELL HIM THE STORY
OF HOW IT ALL
HAPPENED
BE FATHER AND
MOTHER
YOU'LL KNOW WHAT
TO DO.
Baker: ALONE...?
Baker's Wife: SOMETIMES PEOPLE LEAVE
YOU
HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD.
DO NOT LET IT GRIEVE YOU
NO ONE LEAVES FOR GOOD.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
NO ONE IS ALONE.
HOLD HIM TO THE LIGHT NOW,
LET HIM SEE THE GLOW.
THINGS WILL BE ALRIGHT NOW.
TELL HIM WHAT YOU KNOW... ::Amari cries::
Baker: Shhh...Once upon a time...in a far off
Kingdom...lived a young maiden...a sad young lad...and a childless baker...with
his wife. ::Chiyumi gives Miroku a
parting kiss on the cheek and leaves Rina enters::
Witch: ::simultaneously with Miroku.:: CAREFUL THE THINGS YOU SAY,
CHILDREN WILL LISTEN.
CAREFUL THE THINGS YOU DO CHILDREN WILL SEE
AND LEARN.
GUIDE THEM ALONG THE WAY
CHILDREN WILL LISTEN
CHILDREN WILL LOOK TO YOU
FOR WHICH WAY TO TURN
TO LEARN WHAT TO BE
CAREFUL BEFORE YOU SAY
"LISTEN TO ME!"
CHILDREN WILL LISTEN.
Company: ::during the following verse, the remainder of the Company (I.e., Ceres, Eriol, Hawk, Raven, Sakura and Nadeshiko) enter::
CAREFUL THE WISH YOU MAKE,
WISHES ARE CHILDREN.
CAREFUL THE PATH THEY TAKE...
WISHES COME TRUE,
NOT FREE.
CAREFUL THE SPELL YOU CAST,
NOT JUST ON CHILDREN.
SOMETIMES THE SPELL MAY LAST
PAST WHAT YOU CAN SEE
AND TURN AGAINST YOU...
Witch: CAREFUL THE TALE YOU TELL.
THAT IS THE SPELL
CHILDREN WILL LISTEN...
Company: ::in three groups:: THOUGH IT'S FEARFUL,
THOUGH IT'S DEEP, THOUGH IT'S DARK
AND THOUGH YOU MAY LOSE THE PATH,
THOUGH YOU MAY ENCOUNTER WOLVES,
YOU CAN'T JUST ACT,
YOU HAVE TO LISTEN.
YOU CAN'T JUST ACT,
YOU HAVE TO THINK.
THERE ARE ALWAYS WOLVES,
THERE ARE ALWAYS SPELLS,
THERE ARE ALWAYS BEANS
OR A GIANT DWELLS THERE.
SO INTO THE WOODS YOU GO AGAIN...
YOU HAVE TO EVERY NOW AND THEN
INTO THE WOODS, NO TELLING WHEN,
BE READY FOR THE JOURNEY.
INTO THE WOODS, BUT NOT TOO FAST
OR WHAT YOU WISH YOU LOSE AT LAST.
INTO THE WOODS, BUT MIND THE PAST.
INTO THE WOODS, BUT MIND THE FUTURE.
INTO THE WOODS,
BUT NOT TO STRAY
OR TEMPT THE WOLF,
OR STEAL FROM THE GIANT...
THE WAY IS DARK,
THE LIGHT IS DIM,
BUT NOW THERE'S YOU,
ME, HER AND HIM
THE CHANCES LOOK SMALL,
THE CHOICES LOOK GRIM,
BUT EVERYTHING YOU LEARN THERE
WILL HELP WHEN YOU RETURN THERE.
Baker, Cinderella, Jack, Little Red Ridinghood: THE LIGHT IS
GETTING DIMMER...
Baker: I THINK I SEE A GLIMMER...
Company: INTO THE WOODS, EACH TIME YOU GO
THERE'S MORE TO LEARN OF WHAT YOU KNOW.
INTO THE WOODS, BUT NOT TOO SLOW...
INTO THE WOODS, IT'S NEARING
MIDNIGHT...
INTO THE WOODS
TO MIND THE WOLF,
TO HEED THE WITCH,
TO HONOR THE GIANT,
TO MIND,
TO HEED,
TO FIND,
TO THINK,
TO TEACH,
TO JOIN,
TO GO TO THE FESTIVAL!
INTO THE WOODS
INTO THE WOODS
INTO THE WOODS
THEN OUT OF THE WOODS...
AND HAPPY EVER AFTER!
Cinderella: I WISH...
::Blackout::
END OF SCENE TWO
END OF ACT TWO
Clear Shadow: I can't believe Rina threw us at the giant. I'm going to kill her.
Yume Tenshi: Yeah really and after all the time it took for you to get this thing together.
Sharpsnout: Research—
MereMew: Typing—
Yume Tenshi: Editing.
Clear Shadow:::Growling::
::Cast enters, laughing and talking. They see the four authors and stop dead in their tracks::
Witch: Oh…hi guys…heh heh…
::The rest of that cast step back from Rina as if she had the black plague::
Witch: Oh come on you're not mad about me throwing you at the giant are you? You are. Ah crap.
Clear Shadow: You'd better start running Rina.
Witch: ::Backs up slowly then slowly turns and bolts::
Clear Shadow: And the rest of you! Letting her do that!!
Baker: I had no part in it M'lady Shadow and might I say that you and Lady Tenshi are looking practically lovely and will you bear my child?
Everyone else: ::Is surprised that Miroku can talk that fast::
Clear Shadow, Yume Tenshi: Of course we'll bear your child!! ::Take Miroku's arms and lead him off::
Baker's Wife: ::Growls:: Miroku….
THE END