7th Heaven
"Attack of Flaming Boy"
(ANNIE and ERIC are sitting in the living room making out. So are the TWINS. MARY enters)
MARY: Has anyone seen my wallet?
(RUTHIE enters)
RUTHIE: (sniggers and then tries to look innocent.) No, I have not.
MARY: Oh no, I've lost my wallet!
ANNIE: (sighs heavily) Oh Mary, when will you ever learn?
MARY: What? What did I do?
ERIC: Look, somebody needs to stop you from going down this path of destruction and doom, young lady, before you wind up in trouble again.
RUTHIE: Yeah Mary, you're such a disappointment.
(MATT, SIMON & LUCY enter)
LUCY: What's going on?
ANNIE: We're sending your sister away to Buffalo—
RUTHIE: --before she gets into any more trouble.
MARY: Did I miss something?
EVERYONE ELSE: Mary we hate you! We hate you! We haaaaaaaaate you!
(Srg. Michaels bursts in and drags Mary [sobbing] away.)
RUTHIE: Well there goes another one. Better get cracking Mother and Father, if you know what I mean. (winks)
EVERYONE laughs
MATT: You're oh so precocious Ruthie!
SIMON: (mutters to Lucy) Ruthie's starting to get on my nerves.
LUCY: Tell me about it.
(Suddenly MIKE PIERCE flies into the room and kills RUTHIE. Hundreds of rapid Ruthie-haters run in and drag her body out, tearing it to bits.)
LUCY: Is that you Mike Pierce?
MIKE: Yes! On top of being an excellent conversationalist I am also a super hero! I am… (dundundundun) Flaming Boy!
SIMON: Flaming Boy I love you! (throws himself on MIKE and makes out with him passionately)
ANNIE: Simon, you're gay?
SIMON: Well… (sheepishly) yeeah.
ERIC: Well that's a-ok!
(EVERYONE gives the camera a thumbs up)
MIKE: Can I stay the night Mr. and Mrs. Camden?
ANNIE: Why of course!
MIKE: Are you sure it's not a bother?
ANNIE: Oh it's no bother!
SIMON: Here, let me show you to your—(blushes) our room.
(They exit)
ANNIE: Oh he's such a bother!
THE END