( a THOSE WHO HUNT ELVES fic )
by
Rod G.
DISCLAIMER : I do not own TWHE.I expect no profit whatsoever.
Ritsuko couldn't believe that she left her guns behind at the T-74 tank.Airi reassured her that it
was all right.Meanwhile,Junpei was staring through binoculars at something.Judging from the
rather creepy expression on his face,it was a sure bet that he found whatever it was he was
looking at rather interesting in a salacious way.
"Hey,Junpei,whatcha watchin'?"Ritsuko asked.
Junpei did not reply but instead started to drool.
"I can just imagine,"said Airi as she snatched the binoculars from Junpei and looked through
them.She was staring a more than a dozen female elves,all naked as jaybirds and all frolicking
in a rather large lake not far from the hill that the three elf-hunters were on.
"Let me guess,"Ritsuko said."Elves,right?"
"Right.But,apparently,none of them seem to have any spell tattoos on their bodies."
"So,stripping them would be a waste of time?"Ritsuko asked.
"Afraid so.Tough luck,Junpei."Airi said.
"The hell it is.I wanna watch!"Exclaimed Junpei."C'mon,Airi!Gimme back the binoculars!"
"Oh,honestly,"was Airi's only reply."We've got things to do and I hardly think that elfin
girl watching is high on our list of priorities."
This particular argument went on for over fifteen minutes more or less,with neither Airi nor
Junpei giving in,while all Ritsuko did was watch the two of them go at it.Eventually,Ritsuko told
Airi,"Hey,just let him watch for a couple of minutes."
After a minute or so of pondering,Airi said,"Oh,all right,if it means that much to you,here."
The binoculars were back in Junpei's hand.
"Hey,thanks,"he said with a grin.He then proceeded to watch the lake as before,however
something was different about the lake,something he couldn't put his finger on.Junpei wound
up rubbing his eyes,unsure of what had happened.
"What's the matter,Junpei?"Asked Airi.
"Here.Tell me what you see,"Junpei said as he handed the binoculars to Airi.As she looked
through them she exclaimed,"The elves . . . they . . . they're not there!"
"What?"Ritsuko asked.
"You heard me.They just vanished."
"Ahhh,this is just too friggin' swell!"Junpei exclaimed.
"Wait a minute!"Ritsuko said."Call me crazy,but I think we're being . . . watched."
"Watched?"Junpei asked."What the hell are you talkin' about?"
It was then that a rustling noise was heard.
"Oooooohh . . . and me without my guns!"Ritsuko said."Why did I forget to bring 'em?"
All of a sudden,they surrounded.They emerge from behind the trees,the female elves they saw
earlier,only now they were all clad in white short tunics with stiff leather breastplates,boots and
wristguards.They were all armed with spears.There was no escape.Junpei tried to nab one of
the elves,but she gave him a swift kick in the crotch,causing him to wince and collapse.
"Junpei!"Airi and Ritsuko both yelled out.
All of a sudden,a rather statuesque elfin woman with flowing platinum hair with a streak of green
who happened to be the leader of these elfin 'amazons' was in front of the trio.
"So,"she said,"these are the infamous Those Who Hunt Elves we've heard so much about,huh?"
Airi and Ritsuko were wondering what would happen next.As for Junpei,he was still in too much
pain as he put his hands over his crotch.
"Perhaps we should deal with these three in a very interesting fashion.You might say,in the name
of all the elves they've . . . handled,a little retribution is in order."
Airi,Junpei and Ritsuko did not like the sound of those words.They liked the sight of the elves
pointing their spears at them even less.
Celcia was waiting by the T-74 tank.Ever since a certain botched spell caused her to be stuck in
the form of a dog,she often wondered what exactly did she do to deserve all that had happened
to her.She then saw three figures headed her way.Three figures that she recognized.As they
came closer,however,she noticed something . . . odd . . . about them.Airi and Ritsuko had their
arms over their breasts and crotch area.As for Junpei,his hands were covering his genitalia.
"What happened to you three?"Celcia asked.
"It's . . .it's a long story,but . . . " an embarassed Ritsuko said.Junpei,for his part,could not take it
anymore.
"We got stripped."He muttered.
"What?"Celcia asked.
"We got stripped ! WE GOT STRIPPED BY ELVES ! GODDAMMIT ALL TO HELL ! WE GOT STRIPPED BY
GODDAMN ELVES !"
END
AUTHOR'S NOTE : Having only seen a few episodes of THOSE WHO HUNT ELVES,I am not certain
if this particular scenario or something even remotely close to it had ever come to pass in the
course of the series.But you have to admit,it IS an interesting notion.Thank you for your time.