Chapter 12 A/N: Vanessa here. Christy, where was Pippin in that chapter? Oh well, you know he'll be in this one! I'm really mad at my sister so my chapter is going to be weird. Disclaimer: Nope; still not ours. "Frodo!!" Sam and I screamed. "Help him, Strider!" I yelled as he pulled out his pretty little sword. (A/N: Ahhh...Viggo...I mean Billy! Because Viggo is older than my parents. Oh well.) Legolas was also helping with his bow and arrow (Thanks Leggy!) Christy, me, and the other hobbits were being held back by Boromir as the others battled with the Watcher. The Watcher cried out in agony and dropped Frodo (whom Strider caught [very sexily]) and we ran into the mine/tomb and the door crumbled behind them. We were all trapped inside. Oh well, more Pippin time! (If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this tread as I walk away! [That's by Weezer]) (Dang it! I can't get into the mood with the radio on! Good bye hot men voices.) We walked for days, months, years...years? That can't be right. Oh! Stupid watch. We've only been walking for a few hours. "Pippin? Pippin?" I thought he was behind me and to my right but I felt the hand which I had grabbed and it did not feel right. It felt...hairy. "Milady, I've been yelled at by your "boyfriend" for coming onto you. I'm sure he would not approve," Gimli said and blushed. "Eeppp!!!" I squealed. "You're not Pippin! Ahhh!!! I'm scarred for life! Waahhh!!!" I looked ahead of me and to my left. There was Pippin. "What's going on?!" he asked furiously. He looked at Gimli and saw his hand on my shoulder. "Get off of her!!" he screamed at the dwarf. "She grabbed my hand!" he pleaded. "Vanessa? Is this true?" he asked with a hurt look upon his fair face. "Honestly, I thought he was you. I thought you were behind me. It was a mistake! Do you think I wanted to touch him?" "Yes," Christy said with a laugh. "Christy, you're not helping!" I hissed at her. "Pip, I swear, I thought he was you and I grabbed his, hairy, hand." "Alright," he gave Gimli a disapproving glare, "Come walk up here with me then." He gently glided me up towards the head of the line. "I don' trust him," pippin said to me when we were out of earshot of the dwarf. "I don't like the way he looks at you." "What?! Like I do?!" _~~*~~_ When we came to the three doors (down! Sorry, I love that band) place, Gandalf did his little "I have no memory of this place" line and we all sat down. Merry and Pippin still did their "Are we lost?" thing and Christy and I broke out laughing. Gandalf finally made up his mind about which way they should go, blah, blah, blah. Then Gimli spotted Balin's tomb and started bawling like a baby. What a wuss. Gandalf noticed a hefty book in the hands of a corpse. He began reading it aloud and handed Pippin his hat and staff (bad idea, Gandy!). While he was reading I noticed that Pip had headed off towards a dead body sitting upon a well. Right before he twisted the arrow I remembered what happened in the movie. (Have you ever seen me shimmy? It's not pretty. Sorry, I'm sick at home and I'm watching Kim Possible) "Wai-!" was all I managed to get out. Too late. The head fell, clanging all the way down. "Whoops," Christy said. "Fool of a Took!" "Hey, hey, hey!" I said. "It was an accident. Besides, he's my 'Fool of a Took'." "You can keep him," Christy mumbled. Boromir heard this and snickered. I gave Christy a dark look. She just smiled innocently. (OMG! I'm watching E!, and on this Rank I'm watching, Elijah was #9 on Players or Played Out. Eeee!!! He's so cute. Of course, I love my Billy too, but he's not under 25. Sorry Billy.) The whole incident with the cave troll and the orcs happened and Frodo was "miraculously" saved. So we're jogging/running because the drums had sounded. So we're on our merry little way when the goblins surrounded us. "Oh great! We're surrounded by creepy little people with really bad dental hygiene," I said. "It could be worse," Gimli commented. "There could be a balrog that we awoke." Just then there was a weird growling/rumbling noise and the end of our pathway lit up. "Thanks a lot Gimli!" Christy said sarcastically and threw her hands up. So Gandalf yelled at us to run and we made our way to the bridge of Khazad- Dûm. Legolas jumped across first and helped everyone else across (save Frodo and Strider). We ran a little bit and then we met the Balrog. He was funny looking; even funnier than in the movie. Soon Gandalf was all "You shall not pass!' and the Balrog got mad, fell, and took Gandy with him. "No!!!" Frodo and I shouted. "Oh, sorry Frodo, that was your line." We made it out of Moria and we all (well, most of us) fell broke down and cried over the loss of our dear friend. I tried to comfort Pippin who was quite distraught over this loss of the Istari and Christy did the same with Merry. Since Strider is so mean (and sexy) he made us leave and we made our way swiftly to Lothlórien. (A/N: I don't know if any of you care, but my parents are in a HUGE fight downstairs. I'm gonna leave this here and come back when he's gone. There he goes. My father has stormed out of the house and slammed the door. So once he was gone I snuck back down, retrieved the spiral and am now writing. Oh no, here's my mom. I should try and type softly so she doesn't hear me. Ok, it's a new day and I've locked myself in my room with my neighbor's laptop. She doesn't know I have it so shh... I hope no one comes up here and bothers me. I'm sorry for taking up all this room with my family problems. You guys don't deserve this. So here, take the remainder of my chapter as a token of my deepest apologies.) "I don't wanna meet the evil witch person!" I whined. "I don't want her to read my mind." "You have to have a mind first," Christy said. "Hey! Butt-munch." "Yeah, butt-munch," Pippin repeated. I just looked at him, confusion clearly written upon my face. "What? You said it." "Nice hobbit," I said, patting his head. "That's my line!" we heard from behind us. "Oh, crap, wait, you didn't hear that." "Gollum's so funny," Christy laughed. (Once again, I have taken upon the duties to brighten everyone's day) So a little while later (well, a lot later) we make it into Lórien and blah, blah, blah. "Stay close young hobbits!" Gimli said. "I'm not a hobbit," Christy complained. "Yeah! And you spit on me, Hairy," I whined. "Hairy?" Merry asked. "Didn't you ever see Snow White and the Seven Dwarves?" When my only response was silence, I remembered who I was talking to. "Right. Ask her later," I said and pointed at Christy. Then Haldir and his (sexy) elves showed up. "Helllooo..." I said, scooting closer towards the newcomer and his mates. "How are you today?" I asked seductively. "Ness! You have Pip. And you also had some fun while you two were mad at each other. This one's mine!" Christy grinned. She bumped me out of my place dangerously close to Haldir and took my spot. How rude! A/N: I'm tired. I'm going to bed. I've had the spiral for far too long. Its evil is taking over me! Noo!!!! Hehehe. I'm n full attack hobbit mode! Grr... *Drools* Ok, now that's gross. Even for me! Your turn Christy! Go team! We rock! Uh-huh! *Shakes butt* Sorry, I won't torment you like that anymore. Oh, by the way, have you guys seen the June cover of YM? Orlando's on it, but he has the goatee thing that he can't pull off. It's too bad. He would have been totally hot had he not have had the goatee and the fag shoes on. I'm really sorry all you Orlando fans, but I don't like what he did to him self. It's looks as though he forgot to shave and forgot how to dress himself. I know, I know, you hate me now right? Well, I'm an Orli lover too but he just CANNOT pull off the goatee. Anyway, thank you for reading, and don't forget to review. Peace. Once again, my computer is stupid. I want a new one but me parents already said no. Who needs them anyway? Well, I guess I do. Anyway, do you see that pretty little blue/purple button? Why don't you push that and tell me what you think. If you hate my little Disclaimer skits, I'll quit. Well, maybe not, it all depends on you guys. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to read this meaningless fic. (And once again, I, Christy fixed it!! And the disclaimer skits had to be removed but if you want to see them just tell us in the review and we'll tell you how to find them.)