Chapter 16 A/N: Thanks a lot Christy! You hurt my feelings! Waaahhhh!! I need a shoulder to cry on. Oh Billy! If not, oh Elijah! If not, oh Viggo! OK, whatever. Onward ho! (Not like that!) Disclaimer: Yeah, I should hope that by now you can tell the difference between Tolkien's work and ours. I cleaned off Christy's "masterpiece" from my face with some water from a nearby creek. It really didn't want to come off, but I scrubbed. I'm like scrubbing bubbles! After I cleaned my face I headed back to camp. Strider and Christy snickered at me when I walked back. "What?" "You left the hair," she replied before bursting out laughing. "Oh. Haha. Very funny," I said sarcastically. I undid and redid my hair in a ponytail and sat down with everyone for breakfast. "That's better," Pippin said to me as I sat down next to him. "Yeah. No thanks to Christy." "What?! Merry said I didn't do it." "I'm watching you," I said and gave her the stink eye. She smiled at me and I gave her my now famous possessed chipmunk face. "I'm afraid to even ask," Strider commented next to me. I was quite happy with the placement of the guys; Pippin on my right, and Strider on my left. Life was good. "Smart choice. Very smart choice," I agreed. I looked up at Strider and he looked at me. Pippin coughed and put his arm around my waist. "When are we leaving?" "In a few hours so we can plan our trail," Boromir answered. I think he needs to take a bath. "Good. That will give us time to bathe," I said, looking at the man. He was dirty. We all finished breakfast (A/N: Stupid Daniel. He won't stop text messaging me! ) Pippin and I went on a walk. "We're getting pretty far away," I said. "Shouldn't we be heading ba-" I was cut off by Pippin's lips Twenty minutes later the others were getting worried because Pip and I still hadn't come back. "Go look for them," Strider said to Gimli. He grumbled about it but in the end he went in search of us. "Wait,' I said to Pippin. "I though I heard someone." "I'm sure you didn't," he answered and kissed me again. I pushed him away. "I think it's about time we left," I said uncertainly. "Huzzah!" Gimli yelled, jumping out from behind a bush. "Tis I! I have come to save you, young maiden." "Umm...thanks. But I don't need saving." "Not you! Him!" he shouted, pointing at Pippin. "Pip?!" I asked. "Sí, Señorita. Tis him I want." "Run Pippin! I think he's drunk!" He ran as fast as his short little legs would carry him back to the camp, with Gimli following the whole time. According to him, dwarves are deadly over short distances. Yeah, right, and I'm the devil. I walked back to camp alone and was surprised to find crawled up in the fetal position and Boromir was sitting on Gimli. "What happened?!" "It was horrible!" Pippin cried. "He...he...he...tried to kiss me!" "Eeewww!!! Gross!!! Poor baby. Are you OK?" I asked, running over to him and holding his hand. "I'm OK now," he said looking up at me. "I think I'm gonna hurl," Christy said. "Hey! That hairy/drunk/stoned dwarf just tried to kiss my hobbit. I gotta see if he's OK." "Yeah, sure, and I've never kissed Merry before," Christy replied sarcastically and rolled her eyes. "But...I saw you guys..." Boromir started. "Oh, right, I get it now." "Aren't you smart?" I sighed. "Where's my hobbit lass?!" Gimli wailed. "He's not right," Sam whispered to Frodo. Strider, who was getting fed up with the problems the dwarf was causing, got up and slapped him right in the face. Gimli slurred, blinked stupidly, and began to cry (quite loudly at that!). "Waahhh!! Nobody loves me!" "I wonder why," I whispered. "No one wants to love a short, hairy man. Not even Mummsie! She never loved me either! Waahhh!!" This time it was my turn to hit the dwarf. "Shut up you whiny baby!" He quit crying/blubbering immediately. "Are we ready to go?" I asked. Everyone was staring at me open-mouthed and gaping. "What?" "Nothing. Let's go," Strider said and smiled at me. So we continued up (or down) the river in the spiffy little boats. Everyone sat in the same boats with the same people. Nothing really interesting happened save the fact that Gimli, Legolas, and Boromir's boat tipped over (courtesy of the dwarf. Man, I really hate that guy!). We made camp that night on shore. Gimli kept making faces at me every time I came too near or touched Pippin. What a weirdo. It really wasn't that cold that night but Pippin insisted that we share a bed roll. Whatever. At least he's cute. We set up our bed a little ways away from the rest of the fellowship which I thought was odd because we wouldn't be as protected. When both of us were situated and comfortable, Pippin started kissing me (as if I could object!). "That guy, Gimli, really scares me," he said. "I don't like the way he looks at us. It's creepy." "Yeah, well, he's a creepy guy. I try just to ignore him." "Vanessa?" he asked me. "Why do you stare at Strider? He's much too old for you." "You sound like Christy. I don't know, I don't think I stare at him. I stare at you though," I grinned but he didn't return it. "Do you like him more than me?" "Of course not! Listen, don't worry about all those other guys. Just stop. Everything's fine," I said. "Good-night. It's late and we need to get some sleep." I turned away so I wouldn't have to look at him right then but he turned me back over. "Good-night, Vanessa," and he kissed me again. He held me close to him the whole night. It was nice but I wasn't cold. Plus it was impossible to think with arms around me like that. The next morning Christy came over to Pippin and my bedroll. "Ready to eat? Strider wants to leave early today." "Urr...yeah. I'm up. I'll get him up and ready too. Save us a plate please," I said, stretching. "Pip? Pip? Pip!" I pushed him but he didn't wake. "Let me do it," Merry said, walking over to his cousin holding a piece of bacon and waving it under his nose. "Mmmm...food." He jumped up, nearly stepping on me, and grabbing the bacon. "Thank you, Merry," I said as he walked of. A/N: There. Done. Your turn Christy. Sorry it was so long and boring but it's y'alls problem now. Have fun! Also, please don't forget to review. I almost had a heart attack when I saw how many favorites lists we were on. 4!! I couldn't believe it. Since we only have 7 reviews and all. Thank you guys so much for making that possible. Plus if any of you guys read romances (well, Legolas romances and soon to be a Haldir fic also) check out my stuff. My pen name is Tap-dancing Hobbit. Don't be a stranger y'all!! :P