Chapter Four - Time Is Never Wasted, It Drinks Responsibility.
Philosophy question of the week: If you fart in the middle of a wood and no one is there to smell it, is it still funny?
[Setting: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
[Monica is setting the table and Phoebe is looking out the window]
Phoebe: I miss ugly naked guy.
Monica: Yeah, it's just not a good evening without being made violently sick.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Monica : Are you sure this is going to work?
Phoebe: ...Uh-huh.
Monica: You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?
Phoebe: Uh-huh...no.
Monica: The prank?
Phoebe: Oh, the prank...
Monica: With the glue?
Phoebe: Ah, the glue...
Monica: Do you want me to tell you the prank, again?
Phoebe: No...yes.
Monica: We put glue on our chairs, the boys thinking the glue is on their chairs will switch them and hey presto! Sweet revenge.
Phoebe: That's a good prank.
Monica: You came up with it.
Phoebe: Man, I'm smart.
Monica: ...Yeah.
*****
[Setting: Joey's apartment]
[Chandler and Joey are watching television]
Joey: Do you ever wonder what it would be like to live inside the TV?
Chandler: ...No.
[Ross enters]
Ross: Hey.
Joey & Chandler: Hey!
Ross: What ya watching?
Chandler: We're not exactly sure but we think she is just about to take her clothes off.
Ross: ...Okay.
[All three watch the TV]
[Woman on the TV is shot]
[Ross, Chandler and Joey are shocked]
Joey: Oh man, now she's never going to take off her clothes. Unless...Nope, never.
Chandler: So what's up with you? Baby keeping you up at night?
Ross: No, that's Rachel.
Joey: Oh, really...
Ross: Not like that.
Joey: [Disappointed] Oh.
Ross: She never gets up during the night. It's always up to me.
Chandler: Have you tried pretending to be asleep?
Ross: That doesn't work, she just holds my nose until I choke.
Joey: How about just telling her it's her turn to get up?
Ross: Have you met Rachel?
Joey: Oh, yeah.
Ross: What should I do?
Chandler: I don't know...Maybe you go on a "business trip". That way Rachel would be forced to look after Emma.
Ross: Business trip? Hmm...I have been wanting to go see the digs at the Isle of Wight.
Joey: Isle of Wight? Yeah, that's a good one Ross.
Ross: No, it really does exist.
Joey: Yeah, sure it does. [Joey winks]
Ross: O...Kay...So, what have you two done today? Anything productive?
Chandler: Well, we were meant to do something but we couldn't remember what.
Joey: Yeah, so we just watched TV instead. Not one of the hot women took off their clothes though.
Ross: What about her?
[Ross pointed to the TV]
[Chandler and Joey turn round but just miss the naked lady shot]
Joey: Aww...come on!