A/N: Thanks to everyone that reviewed. I really appreciate knowing that
you like it and I hope I don't disappoint. Also vamprincess1986 Buffy will
remember him. Spike will be the only one who can't remember anything.
A/N 2: By the way I will usually be alternately chapters between Spike and Buffy plus the gang until they meet. So the next chapter will be about Spike.
Chapter 2
Buffy felt numb. She didn't understand why this keeps happening to her. She tells a man she loves him and something bad always happens. She preferred to think of it this way then to have to go down the road that this was the right thing for Spike to do. She didn't want it to be the right thing. Why couldn't they have gotten out of there in the nick of time and lived happily ever after? Oh well that's obvious she is Buffy after all and men and her are non-mixy.
Buffy was pulled abruptly out of her thoughts by someone yelling at her, "Buffy hello? Are you okay?" After staring at her for a few seconds Buffy realized that it was Willow in front of her. Buffy nodded slowly and then looked down at her hands in her lap.
"Good. For a second there I was worried that you'd gone catatonic again. Um... Buffy do you want to talk about it? Because if you do I'm here. I'll listen I promise. and no judging. I'm non-judgy!" Willow babbled trying to get some reaction out of her. Buffy looked up for a second and gave her a tiny smile before locking her gaze on her hands again.
"Um... I guess that's a no. Well don't forget that I'm here." Willow tried again with the only reaction this time being a slight nod.
Buffy felt relieved. Now she could mourn Spike in peace. She just wished that she had told him earlier, but she hadn't expected him to die. He wasn't supposed to die! Oh God got to think of something else. Think of who you're not alone anymore. Think of all the slayers that are in the world and how you must train them. Yeah that's a good way to go, Buffy! You've graduated from Slayer to Watcher, but I doubt that Watchers sit around talking to themselves in their heads though.
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Willow walked over to where Xander was sitting and sat gingerly down beside him. She was after all still a little achy from the big spell she had preformed.
"So did she say anything?" Xander prodded her as soon as she sat down.
"No I guess Spike's death hit her harder than I thought it would." Willow replied.
"I thought that she had feelings for him, but with the way she's acting it's almost as if..." he trailed off. "As if she loved him," Willow finished for him.
"Yeah. How ironic is it that in the past year we've all lost someone we loved? You lost Tara, I lost Anya, and Buffy lost Spike. But that's not even the major irony; out of all of them I never would have expected Spike to be the one to save the world. He was always so evil and I always felt that I should hate him. But now..."
"Now he does something wonderful and you don't know what to think or even what to say to her."
"Yeah you know if you keep that up I might think that you're reading my mind again."
"Don't worry I don't think I'll be able to do spells for another millennium."
"Oh well that's good then."
"Yeah it's all good."
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Dawn was still sitting staring out the back of the bus as they raced down the road to LA. She was trying not to cry because she was still trying to hold onto the notion that Spike didn't deserve her tears. That he didn't deserve her love because he had hurt her sister. She knew that Buffy had forgiven him, but she felt like she had to protect her sister since said sister wasn't going to protect herself from him. But Dawn had loved him first and it was so hard not caring about his death. It was hard not to be in awe of the sacrifice that he had made when he could have had Buffy if they had found some other way to save the world. If not then they all would've been dead so she was glad that he had such a beautiful soul that compelled him to save the world.
"Hey Dawn whatcha doin'?" Andrew said cheerfully.
Dawn just glared at him she wasn't feeling up to dealing with him right now. She was thinking actual deep thoughts!
"Dontcha think that ..." he started to say.
"Andrew if you didn't understand my glare it meant that I don't want to talk to you right now. So if you want to be smart you would go away." Dawn yelled as loud as she could at a whisper.
"Fine!" Andrew pouted running off to sit by Giles at the front of the bus.
Dawn sighed and went to follow him because after all he wasn't that bad a guy and she didn't mean to take out her depressing thinking on him.
A/N 2: By the way I will usually be alternately chapters between Spike and Buffy plus the gang until they meet. So the next chapter will be about Spike.
Chapter 2
Buffy felt numb. She didn't understand why this keeps happening to her. She tells a man she loves him and something bad always happens. She preferred to think of it this way then to have to go down the road that this was the right thing for Spike to do. She didn't want it to be the right thing. Why couldn't they have gotten out of there in the nick of time and lived happily ever after? Oh well that's obvious she is Buffy after all and men and her are non-mixy.
Buffy was pulled abruptly out of her thoughts by someone yelling at her, "Buffy hello? Are you okay?" After staring at her for a few seconds Buffy realized that it was Willow in front of her. Buffy nodded slowly and then looked down at her hands in her lap.
"Good. For a second there I was worried that you'd gone catatonic again. Um... Buffy do you want to talk about it? Because if you do I'm here. I'll listen I promise. and no judging. I'm non-judgy!" Willow babbled trying to get some reaction out of her. Buffy looked up for a second and gave her a tiny smile before locking her gaze on her hands again.
"Um... I guess that's a no. Well don't forget that I'm here." Willow tried again with the only reaction this time being a slight nod.
Buffy felt relieved. Now she could mourn Spike in peace. She just wished that she had told him earlier, but she hadn't expected him to die. He wasn't supposed to die! Oh God got to think of something else. Think of who you're not alone anymore. Think of all the slayers that are in the world and how you must train them. Yeah that's a good way to go, Buffy! You've graduated from Slayer to Watcher, but I doubt that Watchers sit around talking to themselves in their heads though.
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Willow walked over to where Xander was sitting and sat gingerly down beside him. She was after all still a little achy from the big spell she had preformed.
"So did she say anything?" Xander prodded her as soon as she sat down.
"No I guess Spike's death hit her harder than I thought it would." Willow replied.
"I thought that she had feelings for him, but with the way she's acting it's almost as if..." he trailed off. "As if she loved him," Willow finished for him.
"Yeah. How ironic is it that in the past year we've all lost someone we loved? You lost Tara, I lost Anya, and Buffy lost Spike. But that's not even the major irony; out of all of them I never would have expected Spike to be the one to save the world. He was always so evil and I always felt that I should hate him. But now..."
"Now he does something wonderful and you don't know what to think or even what to say to her."
"Yeah you know if you keep that up I might think that you're reading my mind again."
"Don't worry I don't think I'll be able to do spells for another millennium."
"Oh well that's good then."
"Yeah it's all good."
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Dawn was still sitting staring out the back of the bus as they raced down the road to LA. She was trying not to cry because she was still trying to hold onto the notion that Spike didn't deserve her tears. That he didn't deserve her love because he had hurt her sister. She knew that Buffy had forgiven him, but she felt like she had to protect her sister since said sister wasn't going to protect herself from him. But Dawn had loved him first and it was so hard not caring about his death. It was hard not to be in awe of the sacrifice that he had made when he could have had Buffy if they had found some other way to save the world. If not then they all would've been dead so she was glad that he had such a beautiful soul that compelled him to save the world.
"Hey Dawn whatcha doin'?" Andrew said cheerfully.
Dawn just glared at him she wasn't feeling up to dealing with him right now. She was thinking actual deep thoughts!
"Dontcha think that ..." he started to say.
"Andrew if you didn't understand my glare it meant that I don't want to talk to you right now. So if you want to be smart you would go away." Dawn yelled as loud as she could at a whisper.
"Fine!" Andrew pouted running off to sit by Giles at the front of the bus.
Dawn sighed and went to follow him because after all he wasn't that bad a guy and she didn't mean to take out her depressing thinking on him.