Death to Jaken!

by DVL

Now my characters have decided to kill Jaken, because he annoys them. Of course, the way they are it will be very painful for him. The PG is for a little violence.

Now to kill Jaken...this is somewhat odd...

This comes after the Gundam Wing fic "Death to Relena!" It's the same idea. It has three of my characters killing Jaken. Don't steal my characters. Especially DVL because she is me and I belong to myself.

That sounded funny.

Also, I did something in here that is really part of my friend's story. Two of her characters (call them T and C) have a really weird method of arguing. It goes like this: "Yes!" "No!" "Yes!" "No!" "Yes!" "No!" "Yes yes yes!" "No no no!" Something like that. Is that right, Rimley13? I know they have to do that triple thing at the end. Anyway, my characters almost did that a few times.

OK, you can stop listening to me now.

~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~

*In DVL's room*

DVL, Blaze, and Wreck are watching Inuyasha DVDs.

Blaze: Why does Fluffy put up with Jaken?

DVL: Sesshomaru.

Blaze: Same thing.

DVL: Is not.

Blaze: Is too.

DVL: Is not!

Blaze: Is too!

Wreck: Shut up! You can't do that, it's T and C's thing.

DVL: Eew, I can't believe we almost did that! EEW!

Blaze: ANYWAY, why does he? Jaken is annoying.

DVL: I have no idea.

Wreck: He's not useful for anything.

DVL: No.

(all deep in thought)

Blaze: Maybe we should go in and find out.

DVL: NO! Remember what happened last time we went into an anime?

Blaze and Wreck: (thought bubble forms above heads as they remember)

DVL: (pops bubble) Hello!!!

Wreck: *mournful* You popped my bubble...

DVL: *mad face* WOULD YOU STOP ACTING STUPID?!?

Wreck: Um...I'll try.

DVL: (groans)

Blaze: Oh come on, it wasn't that bad. Relena IS dead.

DVL: And what do you think that will do to Gundam Wing?!?

Blaze: Make it less mushy and with more blood?

DVL: *extremely mad face* NO!!!

Blaze: (shrinks away) Uh...I'm sorry...

Wreck: (bangs DVL on head) For all the times you did that to me.

DVL: *dizzy/swirly eyes*

Blaze: You know, we could just go and kill Jaken and do everyone a favor.

Wreck: FUN!!!

Blaze: Except...(kicks DVL) She needs to be awake to get us into it.

Wreck: Crap.

Blaze: DVL...WAKE UP!!!

DVL: Oh FINE, fine. We can go into InuYasha.

Wreck: Yay!!! (hugs DVL)

DVL: GET OFF OF ME!!!

*Later, in IY*

Blaze: Let me guess. Jaken is within a mile of here.

DVL: Yep.

Blaze: And you don't know when this is.

DVL: Yep.

Blaze: Why do you always do that?

DVL: Not my fault. And it's your problem. YOU find Jaken.

Blaze: OK then. (sets fire to surrounding forest so she can see, then points to Jaken after it has burned down) There he is!

DVL and Wreck: *sweat drop*

Blaze: What?

(Sesshomaru and Jaken come over)

Sessho: Why did you do that?

Blaze: We were looking for Jaken. Now we found him. Would you mind if we killed him?

Jaken: Ahh!!!

Sessho: Not really.

Wreck: Yay yay YAY!!! (grabs scythe and attacks Jaken)

Jaken: (runs away)

Wreck: Oh, come back here!!! I'm not gonna hurt you, I just wanna cut you up into little tiny pieces!!!

Jaken and Wreck run around in a circle.

DVL: (sighs) Well aren't you gonna help?

Blaze: I'll wait for her to wear him out.

Blaze grabs popcorn and sits on the ground to watch.

Sessho: Who are you?

DVL: We're from a different plane. Jaken annoys us. Can I fight you? I always wanted to. PLEASE?

((Plane means world, in case anyone didn't get that.))

Sessho: Uh...I suppose.

((He doesn't normally get these kind of requests.))

DVL: Yay! (grabs enormous axe and attacks Sessho)

Sessho: (dodges)

Blaze: (watches DVL and Sessho fight) I guess that was why she agreed to bring us here...Are you done yet, Wreck?

Wreck: (finally catches Jaken) Now I am. Don't set me on fire.

Blaze: OK. (sets Jaken on fire)

Jaken: (screams)

Wreck: (drops Jaken onto ground) This is fun! Got anymore popcorn?

Blaze: Yeah.

Blaze and Wreck eat popcorn and watch Jaken's agony.

Blaze: So, do you think Dev or Fluffy will win?

Wreck: Sesshomaru.

Blaze: It's FLUFFY.

Wreck: Sesshomaru!

Blaze: Fluffy!

Wreck: Sesshomaru!!!

Blaze: Fluffy!!!

DVL: (still fighting Sessho) SHUT UP!

Wreck: Oops.

DVL: (throws Sessho into ground making a big crater)

Blaze: Hey! You can't do that!

DVL: (busy laughing maniacally and not paying attention)

Blaze: (sighs)

Wreck: (pokes Jaken, who is completely burnt) He's cooked now. Can I eat him?

Blaze: ARE YOU SICK?!?

Wreck: I'm HUNGRY.

Blaze: But you just ate all of my popcorn!

Wreck: I'm HUNGRY.

Blaze: (groans) Dev! Can we go now?!?

DVL: (still not paying attention)

Blaze: (groans)

*Later, back in DVL's room*

Wreck: That was fun!!!

Blaze: Yes. Let's never do it again. You're both crazy.

Wreck and DVL: Are not!

~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~

Let's end that before it gets any weirder...Review please!