Disclaimer: They don't belong to us! However, for long stretches of time they have been kidnapped by us and chained into our bathtubs. MMMM... Erik and Jareth showers... Lestat and Spike showers... YUM
And now without further adu, I present to you the insanity of:
CHEESE MADE US DO IT!
Claire struggled in Jareth's arms, "Let go of me you tights wearing wanker!"
Jareth turned her around so she was facing him.
"You're not British so you shouldn't be using British swears! How do you even know that word?"
"Spike."
"What do spikes have to do with this?" He grinned. "Are you trying to seduce me?"
"NO!" Claire said. "I watch Buffy. Spike is a character on the show."
"I do not know of this "Buffy". And what is Spike... a dog or something?"
"No, you stupid git, he's a vampire!"
"A vampire... like Lestat?"
"Sort of..."
He decided to change the subject. He lounged on his bed. "So tell me Claire... how are you enjoying my bedroom?"
Claire simply blushed remembering her comment from early.
He sat up and patted the spot next to him. "Sit, please. I don't bite... much."
Claire slowly sat down beside Jareth. "Just don't go Hannibal Lecter on me."
He looked confused, "Hannibal who?"
She shook her head, "Never mind."
"Oh, so Claire, can I ask you a question?"
She smirked, "You just did."
"Okay, I'll take that as a yes." He smiled at her and pressed a button making sixties music pop out of no where as he posed on his bed.
"DO I MAKE YOU HORNY?"
"RANDY?"
"DO I MAKE YOU HORNY BABY YEAH!"
Claire jumped off the bed and screeched. "Jareth! Jareth!" Finally she growled and said, "Not in a thousand years!"
"It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache."
Claire doesn't like how his mood has turned. Slowly she backs off.
"I know just the thing."
He pulls out a cocker. It is made of diamonds and he slips it around her neck. "This will insure that no one touches MY THINGS!"
***
Meanwhile, in the throne room, Madeline wakes up to find an extremely ticked off vampire and phantom glaring down at her.
"Uh- heh heh... hi?"
"I'll beat ya both apart! I'll tape ya back togeth-" A gloved hand slapped over her mouth.
"I guess she's okay" said Erik
Lestat simply nodded and looked her over. She was a fine young thing, thick red hair, smoldering dark eyes, heaving chest. In Erik's opinion, she looked like a singer. Lestat lowered his face to meet her's.
"Now, my dear," he whispered "Monsieur Erik is going to take his hand off your mouth and you will be calm. Understand?"
Mad nodded slowly and Lestat removed his hand. She sat up slowly.
"eeeee," an evil grin spread across her face.
"Goody-goody"
"Now you look here young miss! Just what are you
doing?" shouted Erik.
"Oh, this."
Mad had completely lost control and she pressed her mouth hard against his. Erik pulled away, astonished.
"Sac me bleu!"
Lestat laughed foppishly.
"Oh you'll get your turn." said Mad, rounding on him and kissing him hard. He, unlike Erik, liked that.
"Look." said Erik.
"I don't think you know what you are getting into."
"I DON'T!" screeched Mad.
"Hey" she said looking around "Where's Jareth and
Claire?"
"Why she's right here..." Jareth's voice said.
Claire comes out in the same exact outfit Satine is wearing in the play Spectacular Spectacular from Moulin Rouge. Her eyes are completely blank.
"Claire?" said Mad, concerned.
"Kiss... hand... diamonds best friend." Whispered Claire beneath her breath.
"What?" Erik said, confused.
"Kiss... grand... diamonds best friend."
"Uh oh..." Mad said. "This is bad."
"Man cold," Claire's eyes flickered to Jareth briefly who was smirking. "Girls old."
"And we all loose our charms... in the end..."
Claire started to do the vocalizations. Erik was mystified. Like the red-headed creature before him, this girl also had a wonderful voice. Although, he could tell, this girl had received less training.
Madeline was frantic. She had to wake Claire up from this trance. That's when she spotted the canter of water in the corner of the throne room. Running to retrieve it, she took it and chucked the water onto Claire.
"Diamonds are AAAAAAAAH!" She screeched, now soaking. "I'm wet!"
Claire was still dazed, so for good measure Mad slapped her. "OW!" Claire screeched. "I'm in pain, I'm wet," she glanced down at her dress and said, "And I'm Hysterical."
Mad went to hit her again and Claire yelled, "No! No, I'm okay and hitting me again will only make me far more hysterical than I all ready am."
Mad smiled, seeing her friend back to normal.
"Nice choker, where'd ya get it? K-mart?" Mad laughed.
"How dare you!" hissed Jareth. "I was saving it for my very special lady. But..." Jareth's voice trailed off.
"Well, while you were in there sinning away, WE were being defiled!" Erik snapped.
"Ah, we?" sneered Lestat. "YOU were being defiled! I," at this he looked Mad up and down, "was enjoying it."
Mad grinned. She knew a song that would uplift everyone. She grabbed a top hat out of thin air and twirled it around.
" The French, are glad to die for..." she placed that hat on her head "LOVE. They delight in fighting duels."
Claire joined in.
"But I prefer, a man who lives" she placed a top hat on her head. "And gives expensive..." and they whispered together
"Jewels!"
"AAAAAARRRRA!" rolled Mad. Claire started going around, high-fiving every-one. They disappeared behind a screen and reappeared in sparkly corsets and matching skirts.
"TIFFANY!" called Claire.
"CARTIER!" answered Mad.
Lestat seemed to be enjoying himself and was trying to grab one or both of the girls. Erik, on the other hand, was very confused. His left side was twitching a bit in confusion. Jareth didn't know what to make of his creation.
Mad smiled insanely and pounced on Erik, knocking him to the floor. She climbed on top of him and started to attempt to remove him of his clothing.
"Let's make love! You want to make LOVE to me! Free the tiger!" She growled, starting to strip him. Erik was struggling and almost managed to remove her when she smiled and said, "Oooooooh, big boy..."
Erik, mortified, threw Mad off of him. Blushing and furious, he reclothed himself.
Claire smiled and said, "He has a huge..." looks at Jareth staring at her with a passionate stare, "...talent."
"Is that all, my dear?" Jareth drawled.
Lestat snuck up behind Claire and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I can assure you I have a HUGE talent."
Claire elbowed him. "Not really my department, that's more Mad's area. Besides, you seem to be having some problems..." Claire stepped away.
Mad's eyes lit up. "Oh, I see. Let mommy help." She walked up to Lestat and grabbed his um... "Does this inspire y-" She felt around a bit.
"Wait a minute..."
Erik was looking on. "HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD? HERE IS A GIRL FEELING HIS CROTCH!"
Claire doubled over in laughter.
"Wait, Claire..."
"What?" Claire asked.
"You owe me ten bucks."
"WHAT?" Claire was outraged.
"Come over here and feel," Mad called.
Claire complied and felt a bit. "No, I don't believe it. Wait! I can still get my money back!"
Claire turned and stormed over to Jareth, determined. Quickly, she touched, checking. "HAH! See, I was right!"
"What the FUCK is going on?" Erik said.
"OoooooooOOOOOOH, Erik cursed!" Mad laughed.
"Would you please explain," Erik said, ignoring Mad.
"Well, see, Mad and I made a bargain. She thought Lestat stuffed and I thought Jareth stuffed. So we made a deal, ten bucks to the one who is correct." Claire felt around again. "And it seems we were both correct."
Lestat and Jareth both blushed. "However, Jareth uses a lemon."
"A lemon?" Mad asked, astonished.
Claire just nodded.
Erik burst out, "Well, I don't stuff!"
Both Mad and Claire turned to look at him. Then, they looked at each other with insane grins on their faces.
"Bad idea, mate," commented Jareth.
"Oh damn..." Erik said as Claire and Mad stalked up to him.
Both of them checked. "Wow..."
"Yeah..."
Mad nodded, "He really does have a HUGE talent."
REVIEW PLEASE!
And now without further adu, I present to you the insanity of:
CHEESE MADE US DO IT!
Claire struggled in Jareth's arms, "Let go of me you tights wearing wanker!"
Jareth turned her around so she was facing him.
"You're not British so you shouldn't be using British swears! How do you even know that word?"
"Spike."
"What do spikes have to do with this?" He grinned. "Are you trying to seduce me?"
"NO!" Claire said. "I watch Buffy. Spike is a character on the show."
"I do not know of this "Buffy". And what is Spike... a dog or something?"
"No, you stupid git, he's a vampire!"
"A vampire... like Lestat?"
"Sort of..."
He decided to change the subject. He lounged on his bed. "So tell me Claire... how are you enjoying my bedroom?"
Claire simply blushed remembering her comment from early.
He sat up and patted the spot next to him. "Sit, please. I don't bite... much."
Claire slowly sat down beside Jareth. "Just don't go Hannibal Lecter on me."
He looked confused, "Hannibal who?"
She shook her head, "Never mind."
"Oh, so Claire, can I ask you a question?"
She smirked, "You just did."
"Okay, I'll take that as a yes." He smiled at her and pressed a button making sixties music pop out of no where as he posed on his bed.
"DO I MAKE YOU HORNY?"
"RANDY?"
"DO I MAKE YOU HORNY BABY YEAH!"
Claire jumped off the bed and screeched. "Jareth! Jareth!" Finally she growled and said, "Not in a thousand years!"
"It's not easy having a good time. Even smiling makes my face ache."
Claire doesn't like how his mood has turned. Slowly she backs off.
"I know just the thing."
He pulls out a cocker. It is made of diamonds and he slips it around her neck. "This will insure that no one touches MY THINGS!"
***
Meanwhile, in the throne room, Madeline wakes up to find an extremely ticked off vampire and phantom glaring down at her.
"Uh- heh heh... hi?"
"I'll beat ya both apart! I'll tape ya back togeth-" A gloved hand slapped over her mouth.
"I guess she's okay" said Erik
Lestat simply nodded and looked her over. She was a fine young thing, thick red hair, smoldering dark eyes, heaving chest. In Erik's opinion, she looked like a singer. Lestat lowered his face to meet her's.
"Now, my dear," he whispered "Monsieur Erik is going to take his hand off your mouth and you will be calm. Understand?"
Mad nodded slowly and Lestat removed his hand. She sat up slowly.
"eeeee," an evil grin spread across her face.
"Goody-goody"
"Now you look here young miss! Just what are you
doing?" shouted Erik.
"Oh, this."
Mad had completely lost control and she pressed her mouth hard against his. Erik pulled away, astonished.
"Sac me bleu!"
Lestat laughed foppishly.
"Oh you'll get your turn." said Mad, rounding on him and kissing him hard. He, unlike Erik, liked that.
"Look." said Erik.
"I don't think you know what you are getting into."
"I DON'T!" screeched Mad.
"Hey" she said looking around "Where's Jareth and
Claire?"
"Why she's right here..." Jareth's voice said.
Claire comes out in the same exact outfit Satine is wearing in the play Spectacular Spectacular from Moulin Rouge. Her eyes are completely blank.
"Claire?" said Mad, concerned.
"Kiss... hand... diamonds best friend." Whispered Claire beneath her breath.
"What?" Erik said, confused.
"Kiss... grand... diamonds best friend."
"Uh oh..." Mad said. "This is bad."
"Man cold," Claire's eyes flickered to Jareth briefly who was smirking. "Girls old."
"And we all loose our charms... in the end..."
Claire started to do the vocalizations. Erik was mystified. Like the red-headed creature before him, this girl also had a wonderful voice. Although, he could tell, this girl had received less training.
Madeline was frantic. She had to wake Claire up from this trance. That's when she spotted the canter of water in the corner of the throne room. Running to retrieve it, she took it and chucked the water onto Claire.
"Diamonds are AAAAAAAAH!" She screeched, now soaking. "I'm wet!"
Claire was still dazed, so for good measure Mad slapped her. "OW!" Claire screeched. "I'm in pain, I'm wet," she glanced down at her dress and said, "And I'm Hysterical."
Mad went to hit her again and Claire yelled, "No! No, I'm okay and hitting me again will only make me far more hysterical than I all ready am."
Mad smiled, seeing her friend back to normal.
"Nice choker, where'd ya get it? K-mart?" Mad laughed.
"How dare you!" hissed Jareth. "I was saving it for my very special lady. But..." Jareth's voice trailed off.
"Well, while you were in there sinning away, WE were being defiled!" Erik snapped.
"Ah, we?" sneered Lestat. "YOU were being defiled! I," at this he looked Mad up and down, "was enjoying it."
Mad grinned. She knew a song that would uplift everyone. She grabbed a top hat out of thin air and twirled it around.
" The French, are glad to die for..." she placed that hat on her head "LOVE. They delight in fighting duels."
Claire joined in.
"But I prefer, a man who lives" she placed a top hat on her head. "And gives expensive..." and they whispered together
"Jewels!"
"AAAAAARRRRA!" rolled Mad. Claire started going around, high-fiving every-one. They disappeared behind a screen and reappeared in sparkly corsets and matching skirts.
"TIFFANY!" called Claire.
"CARTIER!" answered Mad.
Lestat seemed to be enjoying himself and was trying to grab one or both of the girls. Erik, on the other hand, was very confused. His left side was twitching a bit in confusion. Jareth didn't know what to make of his creation.
Mad smiled insanely and pounced on Erik, knocking him to the floor. She climbed on top of him and started to attempt to remove him of his clothing.
"Let's make love! You want to make LOVE to me! Free the tiger!" She growled, starting to strip him. Erik was struggling and almost managed to remove her when she smiled and said, "Oooooooh, big boy..."
Erik, mortified, threw Mad off of him. Blushing and furious, he reclothed himself.
Claire smiled and said, "He has a huge..." looks at Jareth staring at her with a passionate stare, "...talent."
"Is that all, my dear?" Jareth drawled.
Lestat snuck up behind Claire and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I can assure you I have a HUGE talent."
Claire elbowed him. "Not really my department, that's more Mad's area. Besides, you seem to be having some problems..." Claire stepped away.
Mad's eyes lit up. "Oh, I see. Let mommy help." She walked up to Lestat and grabbed his um... "Does this inspire y-" She felt around a bit.
"Wait a minute..."
Erik was looking on. "HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD? HERE IS A GIRL FEELING HIS CROTCH!"
Claire doubled over in laughter.
"Wait, Claire..."
"What?" Claire asked.
"You owe me ten bucks."
"WHAT?" Claire was outraged.
"Come over here and feel," Mad called.
Claire complied and felt a bit. "No, I don't believe it. Wait! I can still get my money back!"
Claire turned and stormed over to Jareth, determined. Quickly, she touched, checking. "HAH! See, I was right!"
"What the FUCK is going on?" Erik said.
"OoooooooOOOOOOH, Erik cursed!" Mad laughed.
"Would you please explain," Erik said, ignoring Mad.
"Well, see, Mad and I made a bargain. She thought Lestat stuffed and I thought Jareth stuffed. So we made a deal, ten bucks to the one who is correct." Claire felt around again. "And it seems we were both correct."
Lestat and Jareth both blushed. "However, Jareth uses a lemon."
"A lemon?" Mad asked, astonished.
Claire just nodded.
Erik burst out, "Well, I don't stuff!"
Both Mad and Claire turned to look at him. Then, they looked at each other with insane grins on their faces.
"Bad idea, mate," commented Jareth.
"Oh damn..." Erik said as Claire and Mad stalked up to him.
Both of them checked. "Wow..."
"Yeah..."
Mad nodded, "He really does have a HUGE talent."
REVIEW PLEASE!