Disclaimer: We own absolutely nothing. Insaneiac owns himself and I
(Kylrane) own myself. Give us some time, sooner or later McMahon's going to
crack, and the WWE will be ours for the taking! MWAHAHAH!
Hey, do we look familiar? I'm Kylrane [waves], author of fics such as "Until Daddy Comes Back" and "The Doctor Is In"! My partner in crime is Insaneiac, author of "WWE Management Mayhem". And why the hell are we here to bug you? Because we got together and wrote a fic, silly! This is a joint effort between us two, and hopefully it's a good enough concept (I know it's been used in Mary Sues, but I don't think it's been put like this!). Read on, you know you want to!!
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It was obvious that Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff hated each other. What wasn't obvious was that they had accidentally booked the same private jet the WWE owned. The GMs walked towards the white jet with the huge WWE logo emblazoned on it, each not realizing who the other was. It wasn't until they walked up the little stairway to the entrance of the jet that they saw who they would be flying with. "YOU!!!" They yelled at each other, Stephanie's screech a little bit louder than Bischoff's. They stood outside the doorway, glaring at each other, before a flight attendant called their attention.
"I personally made sure I would be getting this jet, Bischoff! Get the hell out of my face!" Stephanie screamed, shoving her bags at some poor random attendant.
"I signed up for the jet to day, Stephanie! You have absolutely no right be here!!" Bischoff yelled, throwing a legal document in her face. It said that Vince McMahon granted Eric Bischoff permission to use the WWE jet that day. Stephanie pulled out her own document, identical to the one Bischoff had. They glanced at each other in horror. "We both signed up for it." They said in unison, groaning. Stephanie seated herself away from Bischoff, but keep in mind, it was a private jet. There isn't much 'away' room at all on those things. Stephanie ordered several strong drinks, while Bischoff just had a martini. For about fifteen minutes they sat in silence until the flight attendent came to them.
"Well, Miss McMahon, Mr. Bischoff, which movie would you prefer to see? We have Moulin Rouge, The Scorpion King, Kung Pow, Little Women..."
"Got any porn?" Bischoff asked. Stephanie stared at him, disgusted. "You pig. Shut the hell up before I have to personally kick your ass." Bischoff snickered at her. "Are you going to personally sleep with me for free or do I have to pay my two dollars?"
That was it. Stephanie lunged at Bischoff, who grabbed her breasts. Furious, she kneed him in the balls, grabbed a bottle of beer, and whacked it over his head. Bischoff threw Stephanie to the front of the jet and began to go through her carry on luggage, finding an assortment of lingerie and other personal items. Bischoff held up one bra and waved it at Stephanie. "Were these purchased before or after your implants?" Stephanie proceeded to grab a coffee pot and hurled it at Bischoff. She also threw the meal trays and blankets at him. After a good hour, the jet was completely trashed. Bischoff had a black eye and was clutching his arm. Stephanie's hair was all messed up, her make up was smeared, and her just manicured nails were broken. "DAMN YOU TO HELL BITCHOFF!!!" She screeched. "DAMN YOU TO HELL TOO!!" Bischoff yelled at her. Suddenly, the image of Vince McMahon appeared on the big screen before them.
"Daddy!" Stephanie cried. Vince didn't look happy at all. "I see you completely destroyed my jet. Do you have ANY IDEA how much that costs?! You ripped up the leather, spilled coffee on the carpets, broke a baggage compartment...." Vince shook his head. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"
Stephanie and Bischoff pointed at each other. "He/She started it!!"
Vince got his 'I'm pissed' look on. "DAMNIT YOU WILL PAY!!! I WILL MEET YOU AS SOON AS YOU LAND, PREPARE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES!!! I WILL BRING IN MY TWO MOST SECRET, POWERFUL, AND DEVASTATING WEAPONS YOU WILL EVER EXPERIENCE DAMNIT!!!!" He yelled. Stephanie sat back with a pout and mumbled, "Yes, daddy." Bischoff said nothing, but began to worry about what Vince had said. His two most powerful and devastating weapons??
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Vince paced in is office in front of Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon. His effort to cool himself down just made him more angry. He was extremely red faced and desparately trying not spout out four letter words. Finally, Stephanie spoke up. "You're going to punish me, aren't you daddy?" She asked, with her best pout. Vince stopped pacing and stared at Stephanie. "Damn right I'm going to punish you!! I'm going to punish you both!! Do you know how much money you have cost me with that little fight on the jet?!"
Bischoff sighed and leaned back in the leather chair he sat it. "Mr. McMahon, you mentioned two devastating weapons earlier on. What did you mean by that? Did you mean Shane McMahon and David Flair? Sting and Jeff Jarrett?? Or the NWO and WCW??" Bischoff asked, figuring it couldn't get any worse. Vince glared at Bischoff. "The AUDACITY of you demanding to know what the fuck I was talking about!!!" McMahon roared at Bischoff. Vince got a file from his drawer and pulled out a picture of two people, each slightly familiar to Stephanie and Eric. It was of a guy and a girl, each teenagers. The frowning guy was obviously a Matt Hardy fan, due to his Matt Hardy Version 1 shirt and the Mattitude sign he made with his hand. The girl seemed a little less threatening, with a cheesy smile, blue tinted sunglasses, and a peace sign. Stephanie took the photo and examined it more closely. She pointed at the guy. "Insaneiac. Jack Baldo's son Mike. Whenever the hell he manages a Smackdown superstar, I always have to talk to him and he can't see past my breasts!!"
Bischoff shrugged. "With things that big, how can anyone see anything else?" He received a hard slap from Stephanie for that comment. While rubbing his cheek, Eric asked, "So how is Insaneiac one of your most devastating weapons?? Sure, his dad was once a WWE Manager and he's following in his footsteps, but there isn't much that I can think of that a teenager can do." Vince McMahon stared coldly at Eric Bischoff. "Do not judge a book by its cover. I told you there would be harsh consequences, don't underestimate them."
"Who's the cheeseball??" Stephanie asked, indicating the girl doing the peace sign. Vince sighed. "I state once again, do NOT underestimate them. That's Roy's daughter, Kylrane. She has a much darker demeanor than of that which is displayed in the picture." Bischoff raised an eyebrow. "Roy's daughter? Roy, who takes care of all the insurance and stock market mumbo jumbo for the company?" Vince nodded. "That very Roy."
"Well, daddy, I don't understand how these two kids can affect us so much. What does this have to do with our punishment?" Stephanie asked. Vince smirked evilly and pressed a button on his speaker, located on his desk. "Lori, could you send those two up please? Thanks."
"Vince, I don't like beating around the bush. Could you just be straight forward so we can get on with this??" Bischoff whined. Vince swiveled his head to the Raw GM and roared "NO YOU SON OF A BITCH I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER!!!"
There was a knock on the door, and the guy from the photograph stuck his head into Vince's office. "Are we interrupting something, because we don't give a damn if we are." He wore jeans and a shirt with the slogan "Keep It Insane" on the front. He turned to open the door all the away and allowed his counterpart inside the office. She wore a red rugby shirt and black pants, her face no longer all smiles. "Insaneiac, Kylrane, come in!" Vince said. Kylrane rolled her eyes at him. "We ARE in, isn't it obvious?"
Stephanie slammed her hands on her father's desk. "That's IT!! What the fuck are two smart asses going to do to US, Daddy?! We're the General Managers of Raw and Smackdown while they can't even drink yet!" Vince stared at his daughter, red faced and furious. "Because these are two smart asses will be your bosses INDEFINITELY UNTIL I DECIDE YOU DESERVE YOUR JOBS BACK! THEY WILL BE TAKING OVER AS GENERAL MANAGERS!!!"
"That is, of course, if we accept the position, McMahon." Insaneiac said. Vince glared at Insaneiac. "You signed a contract that says you are mine, free of charge, and you can't leave until I fire you! So do whatever the fuck I say!!" Insaneiac grumbled in response to this, but knew it was true. He had done so when he had to be Chris Jericho's manager; he wasn't thinking straight when McMahon had told him to sign the dotted line. Vince then looked to Kylrane, who seemed to be thinking about this in her head. "What's your answer?"
"I want to make at least 60 thousand dollars per year. Also, I want all expenses covered by the company. Any law suits WILL be handled by you yourself, Vince, not me, and on Backlash, a birthday cake must be presented to me. In the ring." Stephanie, Vince, and Eric ogled the girl in awe. She was demanding THIS MUCH from Vince McMahon?? "Now you see here, missy, you will NOT be bossing Vincent Kennedy McMahon around-" Vince's words were cut short when Kylrane frowned and raised her eyebrow, much like The Rock. McMahon immediately cowered and nodded. Insaneiac tapped Kylrane on her shoulder.
"Why do you want a birthday cake at Backlash??" he asked. Kylrane shrugged. "Backlash is on my birthday. Therefore, as an employee with a high position in the company, I demand to have a birthday cake on my birthday. Preferrably chocolate." Insaneiac scractched his head. "Oh. Thought there was more to it than that."
Eric burst out in anger. "These kids will have absolutely NO IDEA what the fuck it takes to be GMs, Vince!! You're NUTS for employing them!!" Insaneiac grabbed a paperweight on Vince's desk and chucked it at Eric. "Shutup, Bisch, no one cares what you think!" Before more items could be thrown across the room, Vince spoke. "OK! So Kylrane and Insaneiac are now the General Managers of Raw and Smackdown. And by the way, you two will NOT be getting off that easy." Vince smirked at Stephanie and Eric. "You will be slaves to whichever GM chooses you until I say so."
Eric and Stephanie's jaw dropped in horror while Kylrane and Insaneiac grinned. "I call Bischoff!" Insaneiac exclaimed. Kylrane nodded. "That's fine with me. Good luck, Bisch." Eric Bischoff scowled at her, but kept his mouth shut. Vince shooed them out of the office and sat back in his leather chair, grinning evilly.
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So...that's the first chapter. I, Kylrane, will be Raw's GM, while Mike (Insaneiac) is going to be Smackdown's GM. We have a few things to sort out (like certain superstars we want on our respective shows), but we promise, things will be good! Review now, please, so we know there are people out there reading this crud!!
REVIEW...........REVIEW NOW.........
Hey, do we look familiar? I'm Kylrane [waves], author of fics such as "Until Daddy Comes Back" and "The Doctor Is In"! My partner in crime is Insaneiac, author of "WWE Management Mayhem". And why the hell are we here to bug you? Because we got together and wrote a fic, silly! This is a joint effort between us two, and hopefully it's a good enough concept (I know it's been used in Mary Sues, but I don't think it's been put like this!). Read on, you know you want to!!
****************************************************
It was obvious that Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff hated each other. What wasn't obvious was that they had accidentally booked the same private jet the WWE owned. The GMs walked towards the white jet with the huge WWE logo emblazoned on it, each not realizing who the other was. It wasn't until they walked up the little stairway to the entrance of the jet that they saw who they would be flying with. "YOU!!!" They yelled at each other, Stephanie's screech a little bit louder than Bischoff's. They stood outside the doorway, glaring at each other, before a flight attendant called their attention.
"I personally made sure I would be getting this jet, Bischoff! Get the hell out of my face!" Stephanie screamed, shoving her bags at some poor random attendant.
"I signed up for the jet to day, Stephanie! You have absolutely no right be here!!" Bischoff yelled, throwing a legal document in her face. It said that Vince McMahon granted Eric Bischoff permission to use the WWE jet that day. Stephanie pulled out her own document, identical to the one Bischoff had. They glanced at each other in horror. "We both signed up for it." They said in unison, groaning. Stephanie seated herself away from Bischoff, but keep in mind, it was a private jet. There isn't much 'away' room at all on those things. Stephanie ordered several strong drinks, while Bischoff just had a martini. For about fifteen minutes they sat in silence until the flight attendent came to them.
"Well, Miss McMahon, Mr. Bischoff, which movie would you prefer to see? We have Moulin Rouge, The Scorpion King, Kung Pow, Little Women..."
"Got any porn?" Bischoff asked. Stephanie stared at him, disgusted. "You pig. Shut the hell up before I have to personally kick your ass." Bischoff snickered at her. "Are you going to personally sleep with me for free or do I have to pay my two dollars?"
That was it. Stephanie lunged at Bischoff, who grabbed her breasts. Furious, she kneed him in the balls, grabbed a bottle of beer, and whacked it over his head. Bischoff threw Stephanie to the front of the jet and began to go through her carry on luggage, finding an assortment of lingerie and other personal items. Bischoff held up one bra and waved it at Stephanie. "Were these purchased before or after your implants?" Stephanie proceeded to grab a coffee pot and hurled it at Bischoff. She also threw the meal trays and blankets at him. After a good hour, the jet was completely trashed. Bischoff had a black eye and was clutching his arm. Stephanie's hair was all messed up, her make up was smeared, and her just manicured nails were broken. "DAMN YOU TO HELL BITCHOFF!!!" She screeched. "DAMN YOU TO HELL TOO!!" Bischoff yelled at her. Suddenly, the image of Vince McMahon appeared on the big screen before them.
"Daddy!" Stephanie cried. Vince didn't look happy at all. "I see you completely destroyed my jet. Do you have ANY IDEA how much that costs?! You ripped up the leather, spilled coffee on the carpets, broke a baggage compartment...." Vince shook his head. "What do you have to say for yourselves?"
Stephanie and Bischoff pointed at each other. "He/She started it!!"
Vince got his 'I'm pissed' look on. "DAMNIT YOU WILL PAY!!! I WILL MEET YOU AS SOON AS YOU LAND, PREPARE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES!!! I WILL BRING IN MY TWO MOST SECRET, POWERFUL, AND DEVASTATING WEAPONS YOU WILL EVER EXPERIENCE DAMNIT!!!!" He yelled. Stephanie sat back with a pout and mumbled, "Yes, daddy." Bischoff said nothing, but began to worry about what Vince had said. His two most powerful and devastating weapons??
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Vince paced in is office in front of Eric Bischoff and Stephanie McMahon. His effort to cool himself down just made him more angry. He was extremely red faced and desparately trying not spout out four letter words. Finally, Stephanie spoke up. "You're going to punish me, aren't you daddy?" She asked, with her best pout. Vince stopped pacing and stared at Stephanie. "Damn right I'm going to punish you!! I'm going to punish you both!! Do you know how much money you have cost me with that little fight on the jet?!"
Bischoff sighed and leaned back in the leather chair he sat it. "Mr. McMahon, you mentioned two devastating weapons earlier on. What did you mean by that? Did you mean Shane McMahon and David Flair? Sting and Jeff Jarrett?? Or the NWO and WCW??" Bischoff asked, figuring it couldn't get any worse. Vince glared at Bischoff. "The AUDACITY of you demanding to know what the fuck I was talking about!!!" McMahon roared at Bischoff. Vince got a file from his drawer and pulled out a picture of two people, each slightly familiar to Stephanie and Eric. It was of a guy and a girl, each teenagers. The frowning guy was obviously a Matt Hardy fan, due to his Matt Hardy Version 1 shirt and the Mattitude sign he made with his hand. The girl seemed a little less threatening, with a cheesy smile, blue tinted sunglasses, and a peace sign. Stephanie took the photo and examined it more closely. She pointed at the guy. "Insaneiac. Jack Baldo's son Mike. Whenever the hell he manages a Smackdown superstar, I always have to talk to him and he can't see past my breasts!!"
Bischoff shrugged. "With things that big, how can anyone see anything else?" He received a hard slap from Stephanie for that comment. While rubbing his cheek, Eric asked, "So how is Insaneiac one of your most devastating weapons?? Sure, his dad was once a WWE Manager and he's following in his footsteps, but there isn't much that I can think of that a teenager can do." Vince McMahon stared coldly at Eric Bischoff. "Do not judge a book by its cover. I told you there would be harsh consequences, don't underestimate them."
"Who's the cheeseball??" Stephanie asked, indicating the girl doing the peace sign. Vince sighed. "I state once again, do NOT underestimate them. That's Roy's daughter, Kylrane. She has a much darker demeanor than of that which is displayed in the picture." Bischoff raised an eyebrow. "Roy's daughter? Roy, who takes care of all the insurance and stock market mumbo jumbo for the company?" Vince nodded. "That very Roy."
"Well, daddy, I don't understand how these two kids can affect us so much. What does this have to do with our punishment?" Stephanie asked. Vince smirked evilly and pressed a button on his speaker, located on his desk. "Lori, could you send those two up please? Thanks."
"Vince, I don't like beating around the bush. Could you just be straight forward so we can get on with this??" Bischoff whined. Vince swiveled his head to the Raw GM and roared "NO YOU SON OF A BITCH I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER!!!"
There was a knock on the door, and the guy from the photograph stuck his head into Vince's office. "Are we interrupting something, because we don't give a damn if we are." He wore jeans and a shirt with the slogan "Keep It Insane" on the front. He turned to open the door all the away and allowed his counterpart inside the office. She wore a red rugby shirt and black pants, her face no longer all smiles. "Insaneiac, Kylrane, come in!" Vince said. Kylrane rolled her eyes at him. "We ARE in, isn't it obvious?"
Stephanie slammed her hands on her father's desk. "That's IT!! What the fuck are two smart asses going to do to US, Daddy?! We're the General Managers of Raw and Smackdown while they can't even drink yet!" Vince stared at his daughter, red faced and furious. "Because these are two smart asses will be your bosses INDEFINITELY UNTIL I DECIDE YOU DESERVE YOUR JOBS BACK! THEY WILL BE TAKING OVER AS GENERAL MANAGERS!!!"
"That is, of course, if we accept the position, McMahon." Insaneiac said. Vince glared at Insaneiac. "You signed a contract that says you are mine, free of charge, and you can't leave until I fire you! So do whatever the fuck I say!!" Insaneiac grumbled in response to this, but knew it was true. He had done so when he had to be Chris Jericho's manager; he wasn't thinking straight when McMahon had told him to sign the dotted line. Vince then looked to Kylrane, who seemed to be thinking about this in her head. "What's your answer?"
"I want to make at least 60 thousand dollars per year. Also, I want all expenses covered by the company. Any law suits WILL be handled by you yourself, Vince, not me, and on Backlash, a birthday cake must be presented to me. In the ring." Stephanie, Vince, and Eric ogled the girl in awe. She was demanding THIS MUCH from Vince McMahon?? "Now you see here, missy, you will NOT be bossing Vincent Kennedy McMahon around-" Vince's words were cut short when Kylrane frowned and raised her eyebrow, much like The Rock. McMahon immediately cowered and nodded. Insaneiac tapped Kylrane on her shoulder.
"Why do you want a birthday cake at Backlash??" he asked. Kylrane shrugged. "Backlash is on my birthday. Therefore, as an employee with a high position in the company, I demand to have a birthday cake on my birthday. Preferrably chocolate." Insaneiac scractched his head. "Oh. Thought there was more to it than that."
Eric burst out in anger. "These kids will have absolutely NO IDEA what the fuck it takes to be GMs, Vince!! You're NUTS for employing them!!" Insaneiac grabbed a paperweight on Vince's desk and chucked it at Eric. "Shutup, Bisch, no one cares what you think!" Before more items could be thrown across the room, Vince spoke. "OK! So Kylrane and Insaneiac are now the General Managers of Raw and Smackdown. And by the way, you two will NOT be getting off that easy." Vince smirked at Stephanie and Eric. "You will be slaves to whichever GM chooses you until I say so."
Eric and Stephanie's jaw dropped in horror while Kylrane and Insaneiac grinned. "I call Bischoff!" Insaneiac exclaimed. Kylrane nodded. "That's fine with me. Good luck, Bisch." Eric Bischoff scowled at her, but kept his mouth shut. Vince shooed them out of the office and sat back in his leather chair, grinning evilly.
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So...that's the first chapter. I, Kylrane, will be Raw's GM, while Mike (Insaneiac) is going to be Smackdown's GM. We have a few things to sort out (like certain superstars we want on our respective shows), but we promise, things will be good! Review now, please, so we know there are people out there reading this crud!!
REVIEW...........REVIEW NOW.........