And here it is... the third part- wait or is it the forth? Or the 400th? And the 195857837th? uuuuuh... I can't remember.... BRAIN FART! Annnnyway, here it is for your reading pleasure. Be sure to have some rubberpants handy and some sewing materials nearby 'cause HERE WE GOOOOO!
Disclaimer: Erg.... well I don't own any of them.... Well, Jareth said I owned him last night... in bed... when we were..... never mind...
MAD: HEY! Graphics- graphics!
CS: Oh yeah, like the time you described how you and Lestat did *whispers in her ear* and a cow.
MAD: Well, sorrrrrry...
CS: We're taking up air space- er word space here... so READ THE STORY ALREADY!!!
Spike sent a helpless look over to the rest of the group as he attempted to get the girl off of him. Claire clung tight to his waist while she gushed.
"I love you!" Claire said, kissing him.
With a screech of rage, Jareth ripped Claire off of Spike and Claire yelped, protesting.
"HeeeeeeeeeeeEY! What do you think you're doing mister!"
Jareth flipped the struggling Claire over his knee and did the unexpected. He spanked her.
"YOOWWWCH!" Claire screamed. "HEY WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA- OW!"
Jareth kept hitting her. Lestat watched them, a strange gleam appearing in his eyes. Then he looked at Mad.
"I don't like it when you look at me like that…" Mad said.
"May I?" Lestat said as he held Mad close.
"May you what?" Mad said, confused.
"Doesn't it look like fun?" he motioned toward Jareth and Claire.
"GET OFF ME YOU TIGHT'S WEARING STUFFER!" Claire screamed, smacking Jareth.
"You must be punished, you naughty girl. You belong to ME!"
"OWWWWWCH!" Claire yelled. "I BELONG TO -OWCH- ME!"
"Er- no…" Mad said, backing away- or attempting to anyway.
"Oh come on Mad, you've been a very VERY naughty little girl…"
Erik stared in horror. What were these men doing?
"Ludicrous!" he hissed.
They all turned to him and stared. He was either very bold, or very stupid. Mad was first to react. She flung herself at him and cried.
"Save me from him….SAVE ME!! You won't let me go! Please help me!"
Claire then reacted by biting Jareth in the leg, falling off, and rolling onto Spike.
Lestat looked angrily at his girl. She was acting like that whore at the water-front.
Erik was enraged. He knocked Mad aside and grabbed the first person he saw. That was Lestat. He shouted in a rage and threw him against a wall. Lestat merely let out loud, foppish laughter.
"You fool! Try! But you can't kill me!"
Jareth rubbed his poor widdle thigh and looked to Claire who was laughing.
"Strong fella." Spike commented.
"HOW DARE YOU CALL YOURSELF FRENCH!" Erik bellowed.
Lestat ripped Erik off and dashed to Mad. Lightening fast, he pulled her hair to the side and brought his lips dangerously close to her throat.
Claire smiled evilly. She looked to Spike, lifted her arm, pulled her hair back, and arched her neck. "Want a taste?"
Meanwhile, Mad was laughing. " BITE ME!"
"With pleasure…" He went to sink his fangs into her throat when she elbowed him in the groin.
"It's an expression, you sock lover."
"Well, well, well… what have we here? She seeks the bite?" Spike commented, smelling her neck. "AB negative… haven't had that in a while… You're either very stupid or very desperate…"
"No!" Jareth cried. "SHE'S MINE!!!" He grabbed her right arm and tugged.
"Well, she's my snack!" Spike grabbed her left arm and tugged.
"MINE!" Jareth cried.
"MINE!" Spike roared.
"HEY I AM NOT A TUG-O-WAR ROPE!" Claire screeched in pain.
"SHUT UP!" they growled at her.
They continued to tug before Mad called out, "Do something!"
Erik, who was already pissed off, grabbed Spike a hurled him to one corner. Claire shoved Jareth away and jumped up. Everything froze as the camera did a slow 360 around Claire before she kicked Jareth square in the chest.
Both men hit the wall hard and grimaced.
Then Jareth and Spike stood back up and charged at her before a loud, high yell stopped them. "WAIT!"
They both stopped and looked at Mad. "Can't we settle this…? Here, I have an idea!" Mad reached off screen and pulls out- a sponge. "Here, have my special Masculine Sponge." Now this was not any ordinary sponge. This sponge is shaped like a part that only men have… (A/N: GO SEE DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES!)
Mad held it out to them. Jareth's head tilted as if he was considering. But Spike shook his head and said, "No thanks, mate. I go for women."
The sponge drooped, "AW…."
Lestat looked at Spike, then at Jareth before reaching out quickly and grabbing the sponge. He shoved it down his breeches then looked at everyone who, of course, was looking at him.
"What? WHAT?"
Jareth looked disappointed.
"I wanna man-sponge!" he yelped
Spike cracked up and almost choked. Erik was standing stiff as a board. And Claire started to scream with laughter. Lestat was embarrassed so he reached over, pulled Mad's hair up and ran his lips up and down her neck. He bared his fangs and bit her.
"FUCKATOTUM!!!" Claire screamed spontaneously. Mad was scared again. She was starting to feel weak and could barely hold herself up. Jareth stopped whining and looked slightly confused.
"What was that?" he asked Claire.
"Is that my new pet name?"
Spike sat up.
"I don't see how a dick shaped sponge can solve anything… On contrary to monkey-boy, something's CAN defeat the penis…" he grinned at Claire. "But not many."
Erik fell over.
Mad sank to the ground and gripped her neck. The punctures hurt and things were getting dark. Claire looked worried.
"What are you doing you korn-freaky-weaky?"
"I'm making her a vampire…" Lestat said, stating the obvious.
"No, you stupid blonde, you make her a vampire and I will make you wish you had a penis, do you understand?"
"Actually, no… I have a penis…" Lestat said, grinning. "It's hard to miss…"
Erik fell over again.
"Actually, you stuff…. Erik's is hard to miss…" Claire commented.
This time, Erik stayed on the floor.
"And anyway," Claire said, whipping out a harpy that was signed by Dr. Lecter. "I've always wondered what it would be like to castrate a conscious patient… Care to find out?"
All the men grimaced, grabbing their… toolbox… suddenly afraid of this girl.
Claire rushed over to the crying Mad. She had lost a lot of blood and might pass out.
"I know!" Claire cried, reaching off screen. She pulls out a suitcase in which she opens. "A transfusion!" Pulling a huge apparatus, which could not have possibly fit into the suitcase, out- she put one of the needles in Mad's arm.
"What is that… thing?" Erik asked, fascinated.
"Yeah, it looks like my Swedish penis enlarger," Jareth said.
Everyone looked at him and he blushed.
"What? WHAT?"
"It's an apparatus," Claire said, putting the other needle in her arm. Quickly, she turned the machine on.
"What a waste of good blood…" Spike pouted before shoving Lestat. "It's all your fault, Peaches."
"I like peaches…" Jareth commented.
"Is that a pet name?" Lestat questioned, wrapping his arms around Spike's waist. "Because I'm definitely interested…" and with that, he licked Spike's throat.
"UGH!" Spike threw Lestat away from him.
Suddenly, Mad went into seizures and Claire started gasping for breath.
"What is it? What's going on?" Jareth cried, screaming like a girl.
"It's Lestat, his ass is on the wire!" Erik yelled, tossing Lestat back toward Spike.
The two girls slowly went back to normal.
"Want to see what I'm reading?" Lestat said, leading Spike by the hand.
"But this isn't your house…" Spike said, confused.
"Yes, I know…"
"Then why is this here?" Spike said.
Lestat shrugged. "Because the authors deem it so!" He took out a book. "Here."
"We're here, We're dead, Get used to it."
"Wrong book."
"Sucking for dummies."
"What kind of sucking?" Jareth asked.
"Oh," Lestat looked at Jareth seductively. "All kinds…Anyway, wrong book."
"When love is inside you."
Lestat sighs. "Yes, read a bit from it…"
Suddenly Mad sits up and sings, "I ate his liver dun dun dun with some fava beans and a nice chianti…"
And Claire chimes in, "A nice chianti…"
They make a long slurping noise before they both collapse back onto the ground.
Erik looked on.
"That was uncalled for, and tonight, unnecessary."
"Hmph! Well? C'mon Spike! Read!!" squeaked Lestat
Luckily, both girls sat up. Spike threw the book and dashed to Claire, as did Jareth. Lestat, feeling dejected, went to Mad, who still had nice boobs anyways.
"What happened?" Mad asked?
Lestat just pulled her head to his chest and stroked her.
"YOU ARE TIRED! COME REST YOUR HEAD ON MY BREAST!"
Erik go down da hoooooooooooooole!
DUM DUM DUUUUM!!!!
Disclaimer: Erg.... well I don't own any of them.... Well, Jareth said I owned him last night... in bed... when we were..... never mind...
MAD: HEY! Graphics- graphics!
CS: Oh yeah, like the time you described how you and Lestat did *whispers in her ear* and a cow.
MAD: Well, sorrrrrry...
CS: We're taking up air space- er word space here... so READ THE STORY ALREADY!!!
Spike sent a helpless look over to the rest of the group as he attempted to get the girl off of him. Claire clung tight to his waist while she gushed.
"I love you!" Claire said, kissing him.
With a screech of rage, Jareth ripped Claire off of Spike and Claire yelped, protesting.
"HeeeeeeeeeeeEY! What do you think you're doing mister!"
Jareth flipped the struggling Claire over his knee and did the unexpected. He spanked her.
"YOOWWWCH!" Claire screamed. "HEY WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA- OW!"
Jareth kept hitting her. Lestat watched them, a strange gleam appearing in his eyes. Then he looked at Mad.
"I don't like it when you look at me like that…" Mad said.
"May I?" Lestat said as he held Mad close.
"May you what?" Mad said, confused.
"Doesn't it look like fun?" he motioned toward Jareth and Claire.
"GET OFF ME YOU TIGHT'S WEARING STUFFER!" Claire screamed, smacking Jareth.
"You must be punished, you naughty girl. You belong to ME!"
"OWWWWWCH!" Claire yelled. "I BELONG TO -OWCH- ME!"
"Er- no…" Mad said, backing away- or attempting to anyway.
"Oh come on Mad, you've been a very VERY naughty little girl…"
Erik stared in horror. What were these men doing?
"Ludicrous!" he hissed.
They all turned to him and stared. He was either very bold, or very stupid. Mad was first to react. She flung herself at him and cried.
"Save me from him….SAVE ME!! You won't let me go! Please help me!"
Claire then reacted by biting Jareth in the leg, falling off, and rolling onto Spike.
Lestat looked angrily at his girl. She was acting like that whore at the water-front.
Erik was enraged. He knocked Mad aside and grabbed the first person he saw. That was Lestat. He shouted in a rage and threw him against a wall. Lestat merely let out loud, foppish laughter.
"You fool! Try! But you can't kill me!"
Jareth rubbed his poor widdle thigh and looked to Claire who was laughing.
"Strong fella." Spike commented.
"HOW DARE YOU CALL YOURSELF FRENCH!" Erik bellowed.
Lestat ripped Erik off and dashed to Mad. Lightening fast, he pulled her hair to the side and brought his lips dangerously close to her throat.
Claire smiled evilly. She looked to Spike, lifted her arm, pulled her hair back, and arched her neck. "Want a taste?"
Meanwhile, Mad was laughing. " BITE ME!"
"With pleasure…" He went to sink his fangs into her throat when she elbowed him in the groin.
"It's an expression, you sock lover."
"Well, well, well… what have we here? She seeks the bite?" Spike commented, smelling her neck. "AB negative… haven't had that in a while… You're either very stupid or very desperate…"
"No!" Jareth cried. "SHE'S MINE!!!" He grabbed her right arm and tugged.
"Well, she's my snack!" Spike grabbed her left arm and tugged.
"MINE!" Jareth cried.
"MINE!" Spike roared.
"HEY I AM NOT A TUG-O-WAR ROPE!" Claire screeched in pain.
"SHUT UP!" they growled at her.
They continued to tug before Mad called out, "Do something!"
Erik, who was already pissed off, grabbed Spike a hurled him to one corner. Claire shoved Jareth away and jumped up. Everything froze as the camera did a slow 360 around Claire before she kicked Jareth square in the chest.
Both men hit the wall hard and grimaced.
Then Jareth and Spike stood back up and charged at her before a loud, high yell stopped them. "WAIT!"
They both stopped and looked at Mad. "Can't we settle this…? Here, I have an idea!" Mad reached off screen and pulls out- a sponge. "Here, have my special Masculine Sponge." Now this was not any ordinary sponge. This sponge is shaped like a part that only men have… (A/N: GO SEE DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES!)
Mad held it out to them. Jareth's head tilted as if he was considering. But Spike shook his head and said, "No thanks, mate. I go for women."
The sponge drooped, "AW…."
Lestat looked at Spike, then at Jareth before reaching out quickly and grabbing the sponge. He shoved it down his breeches then looked at everyone who, of course, was looking at him.
"What? WHAT?"
Jareth looked disappointed.
"I wanna man-sponge!" he yelped
Spike cracked up and almost choked. Erik was standing stiff as a board. And Claire started to scream with laughter. Lestat was embarrassed so he reached over, pulled Mad's hair up and ran his lips up and down her neck. He bared his fangs and bit her.
"FUCKATOTUM!!!" Claire screamed spontaneously. Mad was scared again. She was starting to feel weak and could barely hold herself up. Jareth stopped whining and looked slightly confused.
"What was that?" he asked Claire.
"Is that my new pet name?"
Spike sat up.
"I don't see how a dick shaped sponge can solve anything… On contrary to monkey-boy, something's CAN defeat the penis…" he grinned at Claire. "But not many."
Erik fell over.
Mad sank to the ground and gripped her neck. The punctures hurt and things were getting dark. Claire looked worried.
"What are you doing you korn-freaky-weaky?"
"I'm making her a vampire…" Lestat said, stating the obvious.
"No, you stupid blonde, you make her a vampire and I will make you wish you had a penis, do you understand?"
"Actually, no… I have a penis…" Lestat said, grinning. "It's hard to miss…"
Erik fell over again.
"Actually, you stuff…. Erik's is hard to miss…" Claire commented.
This time, Erik stayed on the floor.
"And anyway," Claire said, whipping out a harpy that was signed by Dr. Lecter. "I've always wondered what it would be like to castrate a conscious patient… Care to find out?"
All the men grimaced, grabbing their… toolbox… suddenly afraid of this girl.
Claire rushed over to the crying Mad. She had lost a lot of blood and might pass out.
"I know!" Claire cried, reaching off screen. She pulls out a suitcase in which she opens. "A transfusion!" Pulling a huge apparatus, which could not have possibly fit into the suitcase, out- she put one of the needles in Mad's arm.
"What is that… thing?" Erik asked, fascinated.
"Yeah, it looks like my Swedish penis enlarger," Jareth said.
Everyone looked at him and he blushed.
"What? WHAT?"
"It's an apparatus," Claire said, putting the other needle in her arm. Quickly, she turned the machine on.
"What a waste of good blood…" Spike pouted before shoving Lestat. "It's all your fault, Peaches."
"I like peaches…" Jareth commented.
"Is that a pet name?" Lestat questioned, wrapping his arms around Spike's waist. "Because I'm definitely interested…" and with that, he licked Spike's throat.
"UGH!" Spike threw Lestat away from him.
Suddenly, Mad went into seizures and Claire started gasping for breath.
"What is it? What's going on?" Jareth cried, screaming like a girl.
"It's Lestat, his ass is on the wire!" Erik yelled, tossing Lestat back toward Spike.
The two girls slowly went back to normal.
"Want to see what I'm reading?" Lestat said, leading Spike by the hand.
"But this isn't your house…" Spike said, confused.
"Yes, I know…"
"Then why is this here?" Spike said.
Lestat shrugged. "Because the authors deem it so!" He took out a book. "Here."
"We're here, We're dead, Get used to it."
"Wrong book."
"Sucking for dummies."
"What kind of sucking?" Jareth asked.
"Oh," Lestat looked at Jareth seductively. "All kinds…Anyway, wrong book."
"When love is inside you."
Lestat sighs. "Yes, read a bit from it…"
Suddenly Mad sits up and sings, "I ate his liver dun dun dun with some fava beans and a nice chianti…"
And Claire chimes in, "A nice chianti…"
They make a long slurping noise before they both collapse back onto the ground.
Erik looked on.
"That was uncalled for, and tonight, unnecessary."
"Hmph! Well? C'mon Spike! Read!!" squeaked Lestat
Luckily, both girls sat up. Spike threw the book and dashed to Claire, as did Jareth. Lestat, feeling dejected, went to Mad, who still had nice boobs anyways.
"What happened?" Mad asked?
Lestat just pulled her head to his chest and stroked her.
"YOU ARE TIRED! COME REST YOUR HEAD ON MY BREAST!"
Erik go down da hoooooooooooooole!
DUM DUM DUUUUM!!!!