Disclaimer: I own myself, and Mike (Insaneiac) owns himself. No, we don't own the WWE or its wrestlers, and we aren't even remotely close to becoming GMs. Our plan for world domination is still in the works, so you're gonna have to wait.
Insaneiac wrote the last chapter. Yes, he does update quickly. ^_^ As stated in the last couple of chapters, Mike is the new General Manager of Smackdown whereas I am the Raw GM. Also, the former GMs are now our personal servants; I have Stephanie while Mike has Eric. So while he got comfy over at Smackdown, I've gone ahead and prepared to announce to the Raw roster that the Era of Kylrane has arrived!! Dear me, do I sound like Jericho??
Oh yeah on behalf of Mike and myself I thank Gerrod Capps, Mr Diamond Dust, AzrAeL-v.1.3, Prime Time Mattitude, and iccess-america. Mr Diamond Dust, are you serious about your offer?? ^_^ Heheheh reviewers get rewarded...on RAW anyway... (ooh can't you see the rivalry brewing??)
******************************************************************************************
Chapter Two: The Era of Kylrane Commences
Most of the Raw roster were gathered in a large room, sitting impatiently. They had absolutely no idea why they had been told to meet here, and they weren't too happy about it. "Damnit, why the hell do I have to be stuck here with a bunch of assclowns?! The HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT has better things to do than sit around here next to Big Poppa Pump up the steriod dosage." Chris Jericho whined, propping his feet onto a table. Scott Steiner glared at Jericho and flexed his muscles menacingly at Jericho. "You have better things to do?? What better things to do? Stare at yourself in the mirror all night?"
Kane snorted. "Or give himself some 'manual loving', if you know what I mean." A bunch of people started cracking up, but Molly Holly didn't understand. "Kane, can you explain that to me, I didn't get it..." She said, trying to figure out what was so funny. The Hurricane tapped Molly's shoulder and shook his head. "Stay innocent, Citizen Molly, stay innocent."
Jericho sneered at Kane. "At least I get some loving unlike some burnt up freak I know." D-von Dudley rolled his eyes at Jericho. "You're one to talk about freaks, Jericho. What the hell do you use ass cream for?!" Jericho began to open his mouth, but Bubba shook his hands in fear. "WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW, JERICHO, NO NEED TO SHARE YOUR INTIMATE MOMENTS WITH US!!" Once again, people in the room burst out laughing. Jericho frantically pointed at his former tag team partner (they aren't teaming anymore, right?) Christian. "How many times to I have to explain to you idiots that it was Christian's ass cream??"
Christian immediately stood up, indignant. "Oh hell no, Jericho, don't you try and pin your ass cream on me! Look at this ass!" He proceeded to turn around and give everyone a good view of his ass. "Does this ass look like it NEEDS ass cream?! I have a sexy ass without any chemicals, this is 100% natural Canadian ass, ok, unlike that Has Been Kid Shawn Michaels!" Everyone turned to look at HBK, who had just entered the room. He raised his eyebrow at Christian. "Look, kid, I know I'm a sexy boy, but I'm married. Quit checking out my ass." That did it for everyone in the room. The place erupted in laughter. Stephanie McMahon and Kylrane, the new Raw General Manager, walked into the room completely unaware of what the hell was going on. "Someone found RVD's secret stash and passed it around...." Kylrane murmured to herself, carefully stepping over Booker T, who was on the floor clutching his sides.
"Um, excuse me? Hello? Anyone listening?" Kylrane called out to the roster. No one noticed the young girl of in the front of the room. "Hello? People? New GM trying to talk to you!" She tried once again. Fed up, she grabbed a steel chair and aimed at the person nearest to her, which was Lance Storm. Unfortunately, Storm saw it coming and ducked, so Triple H ended up receiving the chair shot to the head. Everyone shutup at the sound of steel hitting Triple H's head. "Whoops! No biggie!" Kylrane said, staring at the damage she had done. "It's not as if I'm too worried anyway...."
"What the hell was that for, kid?! You just knocked out the Champ!!" Ric Flair cried. He had turned red in the face and was ready to yell at Kylrane before Stephanie spoke up. "Hunter deserved it anyway, what's a chair shot or two going to do to him?" It was the first time anyone noticed that the billion dollar princess was present in the room. Stacy Keibler pointed a manicured finger at Stephanie. "You're not supposed to be here! Wait until Eric finds out!"
"Eric Bischoff won't be here tonight, or tomorrow night for that matter. In fact, I don't know how long he will be absent from Raw, because he's now the Smackdown GM's personal servant." Kylrane informed them. She looked amongst the people gathered in the room. "Where the hell is The Rock?! I DEMANDED that every single Raw superstar be here!!"
Jeff Hardy, who was all bandaged up from his previous collision with a lamp post, pointed at Kylrane. "SWEET GOD ALMIGHTY, IT'S THE DEMON CHILD!!" He yelled, shaking in fear. Kylrane shot him an icy glare which silenced him immediately. "That happened once Hardy. Once. Don't expect it to happen again." She said rigidly, obviously referring to earlier in the day when she had glomped him like a fangirl. "What won't happen again?? What did you do to my Jeffy-poo??" Trish cried, trying to calm Jeff down. "Forget that, who the hell are you and why are you here?!" Chief Morley demanded, ready with security guards. Kylrane smirked at Morley. "Leader of the Bischoff Administration, are you? Well, there IS no more Bischoff administration, and you are now stripped of your title of Chief of Staff. So there. Nyaah!"
"Who do you think you are, ordering people around like that?! I'd like to know!" Trish yelled. A few others cheered in agreement, or else they were just excited that her top was low cut today. Kylrane sighed. "Well I was going to get to that but so many damn people kept interrupting me...look, I'm the new General Manager of Raw. Stephanie McMahon is my personal servant. And I now own all of you. Simple as that."
"YOU own us? YOU, some shrimpy little adolescent pipsqueak owns wrestlers of the WWE?! I don't believe it at all!" Christopher Nowinski said. Kylrane gave him a death glare. "Don't you remember me? A few of you should. But the point is, with me in charge, there are going to be a few changes around here. I will be trading some of you off to Smackdown, so don't get too cozy around here. The Smackdown GM isn't going to be too easy on you chumps either. Also, I am reintroducing the Hardcore Belt to Raw, with the 24/7 rule in effect. Stop slacking and start working around here if you want to succeed at Raw, I'm going to turn this into the best damn ratings earner ever seen!! The Era of Kylrane has commenced!"
******************************************************************************************
Some left the meeting grumbling and complaining. Others left glad that Bischoff was no longer in power. And then there were some that left the meeting in fear of the new GM. "She acts like some scary dictator bitch!" Trish whined to Jeff. Jeff still shook from the encounter. Kane and RVD celebrated the departure of the Bischoff administration. Now they had a chance of getting booked in fair matches. Plus it helped that the new GM was a big Kananite.
Triple H was majorly pissed after getting hit with that steel chair. The big nosed jerk stormed into the GM's office, which was in the middle of being redecorated. "HEY KID!" He yelled to Kylrane, who was directing crew members as to where her desk should be put. "Maybe you're the GM, but remember, I'm THE GAME, you can't tell ME what to do, what to say, or when I will wrestle, damnit! I'm the CHAMP!" Triple H proceeded to flex his muscles at Kylrane and Stephanie McMahon, who both ignored him. "DAMNIT YOU LITTLE BITCH I AM-" He was interrupted by a slap from Stephanie. "Christ do you know when to shut the fuck up Hunter?! Do you?! Let me tell you something, when we were together, you weren't that damn good at all! In fact," Stephanie held her fingers in front of Triple H's face as she spoke, "you were THAT DAMN SMALL!" She held her fingers a centimeter apart for extra emphasis. Triple H glared at Stephanie and turned his attention back on the young General Manager. "Did you hear me, kid?! I'm THE GAME, you've got nuthin' on me!"
"Just perfect, guys, set it down easy. Thanks!" Kylrane said to the crew members as they positioned her desk. She then turned to Triple H. "You're THE GAME, huh? THE GAME! The freakin' GAME! Ooh eerie mystical doom awaits if one should cross THE GAME!!" Kylrane rolled her eyes at Hunter, who began to breathe heavily due to some new kid making fun of him. "Well guess what, Triple H, The Game! I AM....THE YAHTZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! AND I AM THAT DAMN GOOD AT SPITTING WATER!!! But on a serious note, get the hell out of my office, you didn't even bother to knock. You're nothing but a selfish jerk, Hunter, and guess what? If you think Stephanie's a bitch, I can be a bigger one. So watch yourself, you're not the one in power here." With that, Triple H walked out of the office, face red. "She is SO not The Yahtzee. The Yahtzee can't beat The Game, damnit!"
Kylrane popped her head into the hallway. "Triple H! Just for calling me a bitch, you're defending your title on Raw against...." She thought for a minute. Who deserved a title shot? "....ah, let's give Booker T one more shot, just to piss you off, huh?" Triple H stared angrily as she slammed the door shut. "DAMNIT!!!"
Kylrane looked over her newly decorated office. There now was a desk in the corner. There had not been one present while Bischoff was in power. She figured he never did any real work. The many pictures of the former GM had also been taken down. Kylrane wasn't vain enough to replace them with photos of her own, although Stephanie decided to put up the photo Vince had of her and Mike Baldo. "Why in the name of hell did I have to smile like that?! WHY?!"
As major preparations were being made for the next taping of Raw, a guy snuck through security to the locker rooms and knocked on the GM's door. Stephanie answered it and made a face at him. "Yes?"
"Hi. I'm Mr Diamond Dust, here to offer my services to the General Manager." the guy said, trying to enter the office. Stephanie didn't budge. "Your services? How did you get backstage anyway, huh? I bet you're just some crazy fan that-" Kylrane popped her head out the door. "Hi! Who are you?" Once again, Mr Diamond Dust introduced himself. "Services, huh?" Mr Diamond Dust nodded. "If you need an assistant, I'm your man!"
"You already HAVE an assistant, kid. Why would you need two?" Stephanie asked, rather miffed that Kylrane was willing to hire someone else. "Because you're a spoiled brat and you don't like the fact that right now I'm your boss. I need someone who doesn't mind working with me on the Kylrane Administration. Mr Diamond Dust, you're hired! Your first assignment is to arrange an appointment with those two French Canadian wrestlers Rene Dupree and Sylvan Grenier. I want them on Raw."
***********************************************************************************
Author's Note: Heheheheheheh, I think like a business person than anything else! [turns her head] Stephanie, get back to work! [turns back to the readers] We're mailing out letters to prospective WWE talent to come to Raw!!! Ehh, I don't think this chapter was the best I could put out, but the all the other stuff I wrote I didn't like. It'll get better once the actual shows start and Mike and I begin to argue over wrestlers. What will happen next? Will Triple H be successful in his title defense? Will Stephanie remain civilized as she continues to work as Kylrane's personal servant? Is Kylrane really THE YAHTZEE?! Will The Rock suffer the consequences of missing out on the meeting? Who really owns the ass cream? Why am I talking in questions? The answers to those and much more...later! ^_^
Now review! Please! [gives the readers money] C'mon, watch Raw and review! [gives a cheesy smile and peace sign]