Disclaimer: How many times must we state this? *sigh* Well, since we would
prefer not to get sued, Mike (Insaneiac) owns himself and I own myself. We
don't own the WWE, because if we did, I'd be a hell of a lot richer. And
because he is now something of his own entity, we don't own Jeff Hardy.
Yeah. Jeff's still going to be in this fic simply because Raw can't lose more superstars...Kylrane has to make a little money here. And sorry that this took so damn long to be updated, I really have to get my ass in gear...
To recap, in the last chapter, Mike, the Smackdown GM, began to form the "Insaneiac Administration". He hired Azrael, brought back Stone Cold Steve Austin, and has planned to make Broccoli Lesbian, ahem, excuse me, Brock Lesnar's life a living hell. Also in the administration is Eric Bischoff (just because he's Mike's personal servant), Kurt Angle, Matt Hardy, John Cena, and Rowdy Roddy Piper. Hmmph. And yes the rivalry is brewing, and it WILL BE UNMATCHED....ok maybe it will be matched but hey, hype it up while you can, right?
**************************************************************************** *************
Chapter 5: Raw Takes Off; Kylrane a Born Dictator?
The white fax machine on Kylrane's desk began to whirr, signifying some papers coming in. Stephanie stood over the desk, watching for whatever was being transferred to the GM's office. Speaking of the office, it was a pretty well organized place. The desk had everything in order, the black file cabinets were all labled for easy location, and there were still couches, this time a plush red, Raw's theme color. In one corner was an Asian-style changing screen, which Kylrane was behind. In the other corner was a bunch of bonsai trees, a small Sony stereo, TV, and a PS2. Present in the room, other than Kylrane and Stephanie McMahon, was Rico and Kylrane's other assistant, Mr Diamond Dust. In Rico's arms were an assortment of clothes, presumably for the young GM to try on.
"THAT FUCKING BASTARD!!! THAT BASTARD!!!" Stephanie suddenly shrieked. Kylrane stepped out from the screen in a red blouse and a flattering black skirt that ruffled at her knees. "I know! He freaking thinks he's going to get his hands on my Raw talent that fucking easily!! And damnit, getting to Rene and Sylvan when I already had scheduled an appointment like a proper businesswoman would!!" The older female turned to the GM with a pale face and the faxed picture. "I was talking about THIS." Stephanie showed the faxed photo to Kylrane. It was of McMahon's former office at Smackdown, now turned topsy turvey. "Looks like Mick Foley was his interior designer." Kylrane snickered, handing the paper to Mr Diamond Dust to see. "It's not funny!!" Stephanie shrieked, ready to pull her hair out in agony. She sat down in one of the couches and took several deep breaths to calm herself down. "I'm a McMahon, damnit. I'm a McMahon." She repeated to herself.
Rico stood up. "I really think you should go for a more Britney-esque look, I'm telling you, it would really appeal-" The fashion consultant was immediately silenced by Kylrane's icy death glare. "Those God awful outfits you've been presenting me were horrible enough, ok??? This thing," She motioned to the outfit she was currently wearing, "Was brought in by my older sister, ok?! Not your choice, and this is what I'm going to be stuck with because apparently I can't step out in front of the Raw audience looking like myself!!" Mr Diamond Dust got the clue to bring her over a cup of raspberry tea, which Kylrane took and began to sip.
"You said you wanted to look cute. Well, this IS cute!" Rico cried, holding up a very skimpy top. Kylrane made a face at it and turned away. "No, Rico, that's a napkin. Look, just leave, you're more a hazard than help. Go get ready for the show, ok? I appreciate you trying to offer your services, but that just isn't my style." The fashion guru got up quite angrily, with a miffed air. "BITCH!" He yelled as he walked down the hallways.
"So what are your plans for the show?" Mr Diamond Dust asked, flipping through the papers he had just been handed by a stage hand. The GM akwardly walked over to her desk and sat down in her chair. "I've got to introduce myself to the fans, of course. I'm also going to bring back the hardcore title. I'm so freakin' pissed about what's going on over at Smackdown though!! I was going to bring back the IC Championship too so that way the guys in the roster have a bit of a stepping stone before joining in the World Title pursuit. Not everyone on the roster is a main eventer." Kylrane put her head in her hands and sighed. Mr Diamond Dust thought for a moment. "You know, there is another title you could bring back that is sort of the equivalent to the Intercontinental Championship..." Stephanie and Kylrane listened closely as he began to propose his idea.
**************************************************************************** *************
The Raw roster was surprised to find out that some trades had already occurred without their knowledge. Booker T was complaining to Goldust about this. "Man, she's treatin' us like a bunch of suckas! We don't know who the hell's goin' to Smackdown and who's coming to Raw!!" Goldust nodded a little, shuddered involuntarily, and responded, "I just hope she isn't a lunatic fangirl that-that-that OOH! trades off people to gain cru-cru- crushes!! GAH GAH GAH!" Goldust proceeded to break into a fit, and people began to stare as they passed. Booker T shrugged it off and patted Goldust on the head. "You have to keep takin those vitamins, Goldie!" Unfortunately, that was when they were knocked to the ground by the Dudleys, who where running around for no particular reason.
"Sorry about that! We were running around for no particular reason!" D-von explained, helping Goldust up, who began to convulse even more. Bubba seemed upset, and told Booker T the bad news. "Dude, you've been traded to Smackdown."
"WHAT?!" Booker yelled, sending Goldust into a worse fit just when he seemed to be calming down. Bubba and D-von nodded. "Us two. Who knows what else is going to happen?"
"But I'm supposed to face Triple H in a match tonight for the title! If I win the damn thing, she'll just strip me of the title before I'm shipped off to Smackdown, damnit!" Booker cried, upset. D-von shrugged. "There's nothing you can do. Besides, there is no match. Kylrane had to cancel it because if you got injured before the trade, she would've gotten sued."
"DAMNIT!" Once again, Goldust began to violently shake.
**************************************************************************** *************
Jerry "the King" Lawler and Coach began to open up Raw, announcing the line up of matches for the night. Scott Steiner [A/N: If anyone noticed, I made an error here...I really need to start proofreading my stuff!] would be facing off against Chris Nowinski, and Trish had been put in a triple threat match against Victoria and Jazz. Meanwhile, cameras were being set up in Kylrane's office for a promo. The GM was on the phone with none other than Mike Baldo, Smackdown's GM.
"Yeah, Stephanie did freak...she's really upset about what you did to her office..."Kylrane told Mike, fidgeting nervously as she watched the match going on out in the ring via a monitor. She had gone ahead and allowed Teddy Long to continue his "Five Minute White Boy Challenges" so Rodney Mack could get some exposure on Raw. Hopefully nothing too controversial would transpire that night, she didn't need to be sued the first night on TV.
"Are you sure I can't trade anyone for The Rock?" Mike asked her, obviously trying to create another trade. Kylrane rolled her eyes. "You won't give me The Undertaker, Edge is out on injury, Kurt Angle is part of your little 'administration', and I will NOT trade The Rock off for some rookies that can't do shit." She took a sip of raspberry tea from a mug Mr Diamond Dust had quickly supplied. Mike snickered on the phone. "But you were willing to trade off Booker T for Brian Kendrick?"
"That's different! Booker T isn't progressing at all on Raw and I think he can do better on Smackdown. Despite his supposed arrogance, The Rock is probably one of the best guys out there in the business and I can't afford to trade him." Kylrane explained, twirling the telephone cord around her finger.
"The Dudleyz are one of the best tag teams in the business, but you traded them to me for Team Angle" Mike pointed out. Kylrane rolled her eyes again, annoyed that the Smackdown GM believed she had gotten the short end of the stick. "The trade is finalized, so just to let you know, the Dudleyz don't like authority. They don't like it at all. If they remained on Raw with that asshole Morley, all hell would have broken loose. Therefore, it's better if hell breaks loose over on your show while I get a strong tag team that is probably willing to be my personal bitches."
Mike snorted over the phone. "I thought Stephanie was already your personal bitch." Kylrane smirked at the remark and glanced over to the McMahon daughter, who was flipping through the pages of an issue of Vogue. Mr Diamond Dust gave her a dirty look as he tried to help out with everything. The GM sighed and responded, "Maybe a bitch, but a lazy ass bitch that won't do anything. I've already got Sean Morley walking around with an 'I'm Kylrane's Bitch' shirt on; I can add a few more. See, you call it an administration. I call it my band of bitches."
"Point taken. So, are you sure you won't trade Jeff, Jericho, Triple H, Kane...." Mike started. Kylrane slammed her fist on the desk. "No damnit, that's final! Jeff draws a big audience, Jericho's a funny loudmouth, Triple H is a big nosed selfish jerk, Kane is Kane...hold on...maybe we can work out something..."
"Excuse me, Miss, you're on in a few minutes." One of the camera guys told Kylrane. She nodded and told Mike, "Gotta go. We'll talk later." They hung up while Kylrane went over what she was going to say in her head. Soon, the cameras began rolling. The audience in the arena were confused as to who the hell was showing on the titan tron.
"Hello Birmingham, Alabama! (or wherever the hell they were that day, I don't know, I just chose that town at random) Welcome to the best damn show the WWE can offer, RAW!" The blatant suck up received some loud pops from the crowd. "You all might be wondering who the hell I am. Well, I'm the new General Manager of Raw! Yup, that's right, no more Eric Bitchoff ruining good TV!" That was followed by more cheers. "You see, Vince McMahon gave both Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff 'job evaluations' a few days ago and decided they would be suspended from their positions as General Managers of Smackdown and Raw indefinitely. But of course, Vince needed new GMs, so here I am! My name is Kylrane, and let me tell you RIGHT NOW that I'm extremely different from Eric Bischoff. First off, I'm rehiring Lita!!"
Mr Diamond Dust rushed to tell Kylrane that Lita hadn't been fired at all; postponing all these fics made her forget what happened when. Embarassed, the GM added, "I'm hiring Lita as...er, not only a commentator on Heat, but as a backstage interviewer!!" Kylrane gave Mr D an 'I-owe-you-one' look and continued to speak. "Also, I will be bringing back not one but TWO titles!" That brought cheers from the audience. "The first to be resurrected is...the HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!!! I'd bring back the Intercontinental Championship too but that damned new Smackdown General Manager not only stole that title but he stole RENE AND SYLVAN, LA RESISTANCE AWAY FROM ME!!!!" She proceeded to sob for a moment before composing herself. "Anyway, in the IC belt's place, I've decided to take the US Championship," pausing to hear cheering at the mention of US, "and bring it to Raw. Tonight there will be-"
Triple H suddenly burst into the room. The camera guy zoomed into the Champ's face, which had a disturbing smile on. "I heard you traded Booker T for that numb nut Spanky Kendrick."
Frowning, Kylrane responded, "He's not a numb nut you jackass!! Who the hell do you think you are barging in on my first ever introductory promo, huh?!" Hunter leaned forward intimidatingly, making Kylrane shrink back a little. "Booker T's no longer on the Raw roster, leaving no Number 1 Contender. That means I have no match tonight. Can I have off?"
Kylrane scowled at Hunter and flipped him the finger. "You can have THIS Trips. And what do you MEAN you have no match tonight? Because tonight, as my first televised action as Raw General Manager, I'm putting you in a match as our main event! It's going to be a no disqualification match like no other. I'm putting you in the ring with Kane, RVD, The Rock, Jeff Hardy, Christian, Chris Jericho, The Hurricane,. All at once. It's going to be for the Intercontinental Title, and the object is simple. First guy to get a pinfall or submission on you wins. That means you're going to have all those guys beat you to a pulp repeatedly. Oh yeah, and one more thing- the winner also faces off with you at Backlash next Sunday. So be off with you, there's an ass kicking awaiting."
Triple H gave Kylrane one last glare before storming out of the office. He glanced at Stephanie, who immediately made a face at him and crossed her legs. Mr Diamond Dust slammed the door for good measure. The cameras stopped filming, signifiying the end of the promo. The three in the office relaxed to enjoy the rest of the night.
**************************************************************************** *************
After Rodney Mack successfully kicked the crap out of a random white boy, Test got a victory over Steven Richards, Nowinski got a DQ win against Scott Steiner, and Victoria got the win over Trish and Jazz, people were getting excited for the huge IC title match. But then Garbage's "Only Happy When It Rains" hit, with Kylrane prancing out onto the stage. There was a microphone in her hand.
"HEY! I look kinda tall in these heels...Anyway, I forgot to add something to my promo beforehand, so I might as well announce it now. I have several new additions to the Raw roster. [A/N: Goldberg wasn't part of Raw yet right?? ^_^ I forget...] First is GOLDBERG, who will be joined by..."
The words "SUCK IT!" echoed throughout the arena as the old Degeneration X theme hit. Goldberg was in DX garb, along with Shawn Michaels, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, and X-Pac. Shawn held the mic to Goldberg, who nodded towards a beaming Kylrane before speaking. "That's right, Triple H! DX is back! But with one minor adjustment - instead of a big nosed asshole jerk like you in it, they've got ME, BILL GOLDBERG!!!"
Kylrane went over to the announce table and put on a headset in order to commentate during the next match. DX took seats around the ring. Jonathan Coachman held out his hand for Kylrane to shake as he greeted her warmly, "Welcome to Raw, Kylrane." Kylrane shook his hand and turned her attention to the titantron as the wrestlers began to make their way to the ring.
"So, Kylrane, you're the new General Manager of Raw, huh?? Does that mean we're going to see some more puppies around here??" King asked excitedly. Kylrane narrowed her eyes as Jericho entered the ring, answering, "Don't overdose on your Viagra, King. Just because there's going to be a female in charge around here doesn't mean that you're going to have all the T&A matches you want. I'm here to make Raw the most successful show in sports entertainment!"
By the end of Coach and King introducing the advertisers, the match was ready to begin. The Hurricane decided to run at Triple H to try and tackle him but ended up flying through the ropes and out of the ring. "AHH! I guess the Hurricane can't fly!" King joked. Kane and RVD decided to double team against Chris Jericho and Christian while The Rock beat up on Triple H. [A/N: I apologize massively; I cannot write matches or battle sequences for my life.] However, there was a miscommunication between Kane and RVD when the latter kicked the Big Red Machine in the face by accident, causing Kane to kick RVD's ass. Chris Jericho went ahead in helping to kick Triple H's ass. Mayhem continued for about ten minutes [A/N: I TOLD YOU I CAN'T WRITE MATCHES!] until "The New DX" got impatient and began to kick the crap out of everyone in the ring.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THE CARNAGE!!" cried Coach. Kylrane merely shrugged. "They didn't clothesline Trips hard enough." Everyone was laid out on the mat except for one person, who was still outside the ring and had been outside since the beginning - everyone's favorite superhero, the Hurricane. He slowly climbed up onto the apron, lifted up Triple H, and pulled the Eye of the Hurricane on the Champion. The ref counted the 1-2-3, making the Hurricane the new IC Champ. Kylrane squealed with excitement as Raw went off air while the Hurricane made his way up the ramp, waving around his new belt. Goldberg held up a mic and pointed his finger to Triple H, who was starting to get up.
"This is just the beginning of your living hell, Hunter. Just the beginning!"
**************************************************************************** *************
Author's Note: Hope that was ok and I hope it kind of makes up for the long delay! ^_^ Insaneiac is much faster at updating than I am, so maybe he compensates for that. OOH I got DX *does dance* maybe I got more in store! ^_^ WATCH RAW! WATCH RAW!! Oh and Mr Diamond Dust, if you are still reading, I'll try to give you a bigger role. However, Mr Diamond Dust has had a "falling out" with Fanfiction.net regarding one of his fics so I may have to recruit another assistant.... I'll try and fit in other reviewers as I write...oh and Prime Time Mattitude, INSANEIAC'S NOT GETTING JEFFY!! NEVER!!! ^_^ Hahahah I still got Spanky anyway....
Stop listening to me and REVIEW!!! (Isn't that contradictory? LOL)
Yeah. Jeff's still going to be in this fic simply because Raw can't lose more superstars...Kylrane has to make a little money here. And sorry that this took so damn long to be updated, I really have to get my ass in gear...
To recap, in the last chapter, Mike, the Smackdown GM, began to form the "Insaneiac Administration". He hired Azrael, brought back Stone Cold Steve Austin, and has planned to make Broccoli Lesbian, ahem, excuse me, Brock Lesnar's life a living hell. Also in the administration is Eric Bischoff (just because he's Mike's personal servant), Kurt Angle, Matt Hardy, John Cena, and Rowdy Roddy Piper. Hmmph. And yes the rivalry is brewing, and it WILL BE UNMATCHED....ok maybe it will be matched but hey, hype it up while you can, right?
**************************************************************************** *************
Chapter 5: Raw Takes Off; Kylrane a Born Dictator?
The white fax machine on Kylrane's desk began to whirr, signifying some papers coming in. Stephanie stood over the desk, watching for whatever was being transferred to the GM's office. Speaking of the office, it was a pretty well organized place. The desk had everything in order, the black file cabinets were all labled for easy location, and there were still couches, this time a plush red, Raw's theme color. In one corner was an Asian-style changing screen, which Kylrane was behind. In the other corner was a bunch of bonsai trees, a small Sony stereo, TV, and a PS2. Present in the room, other than Kylrane and Stephanie McMahon, was Rico and Kylrane's other assistant, Mr Diamond Dust. In Rico's arms were an assortment of clothes, presumably for the young GM to try on.
"THAT FUCKING BASTARD!!! THAT BASTARD!!!" Stephanie suddenly shrieked. Kylrane stepped out from the screen in a red blouse and a flattering black skirt that ruffled at her knees. "I know! He freaking thinks he's going to get his hands on my Raw talent that fucking easily!! And damnit, getting to Rene and Sylvan when I already had scheduled an appointment like a proper businesswoman would!!" The older female turned to the GM with a pale face and the faxed picture. "I was talking about THIS." Stephanie showed the faxed photo to Kylrane. It was of McMahon's former office at Smackdown, now turned topsy turvey. "Looks like Mick Foley was his interior designer." Kylrane snickered, handing the paper to Mr Diamond Dust to see. "It's not funny!!" Stephanie shrieked, ready to pull her hair out in agony. She sat down in one of the couches and took several deep breaths to calm herself down. "I'm a McMahon, damnit. I'm a McMahon." She repeated to herself.
Rico stood up. "I really think you should go for a more Britney-esque look, I'm telling you, it would really appeal-" The fashion consultant was immediately silenced by Kylrane's icy death glare. "Those God awful outfits you've been presenting me were horrible enough, ok??? This thing," She motioned to the outfit she was currently wearing, "Was brought in by my older sister, ok?! Not your choice, and this is what I'm going to be stuck with because apparently I can't step out in front of the Raw audience looking like myself!!" Mr Diamond Dust got the clue to bring her over a cup of raspberry tea, which Kylrane took and began to sip.
"You said you wanted to look cute. Well, this IS cute!" Rico cried, holding up a very skimpy top. Kylrane made a face at it and turned away. "No, Rico, that's a napkin. Look, just leave, you're more a hazard than help. Go get ready for the show, ok? I appreciate you trying to offer your services, but that just isn't my style." The fashion guru got up quite angrily, with a miffed air. "BITCH!" He yelled as he walked down the hallways.
"So what are your plans for the show?" Mr Diamond Dust asked, flipping through the papers he had just been handed by a stage hand. The GM akwardly walked over to her desk and sat down in her chair. "I've got to introduce myself to the fans, of course. I'm also going to bring back the hardcore title. I'm so freakin' pissed about what's going on over at Smackdown though!! I was going to bring back the IC Championship too so that way the guys in the roster have a bit of a stepping stone before joining in the World Title pursuit. Not everyone on the roster is a main eventer." Kylrane put her head in her hands and sighed. Mr Diamond Dust thought for a moment. "You know, there is another title you could bring back that is sort of the equivalent to the Intercontinental Championship..." Stephanie and Kylrane listened closely as he began to propose his idea.
**************************************************************************** *************
The Raw roster was surprised to find out that some trades had already occurred without their knowledge. Booker T was complaining to Goldust about this. "Man, she's treatin' us like a bunch of suckas! We don't know who the hell's goin' to Smackdown and who's coming to Raw!!" Goldust nodded a little, shuddered involuntarily, and responded, "I just hope she isn't a lunatic fangirl that-that-that OOH! trades off people to gain cru-cru- crushes!! GAH GAH GAH!" Goldust proceeded to break into a fit, and people began to stare as they passed. Booker T shrugged it off and patted Goldust on the head. "You have to keep takin those vitamins, Goldie!" Unfortunately, that was when they were knocked to the ground by the Dudleys, who where running around for no particular reason.
"Sorry about that! We were running around for no particular reason!" D-von explained, helping Goldust up, who began to convulse even more. Bubba seemed upset, and told Booker T the bad news. "Dude, you've been traded to Smackdown."
"WHAT?!" Booker yelled, sending Goldust into a worse fit just when he seemed to be calming down. Bubba and D-von nodded. "Us two. Who knows what else is going to happen?"
"But I'm supposed to face Triple H in a match tonight for the title! If I win the damn thing, she'll just strip me of the title before I'm shipped off to Smackdown, damnit!" Booker cried, upset. D-von shrugged. "There's nothing you can do. Besides, there is no match. Kylrane had to cancel it because if you got injured before the trade, she would've gotten sued."
"DAMNIT!" Once again, Goldust began to violently shake.
**************************************************************************** *************
Jerry "the King" Lawler and Coach began to open up Raw, announcing the line up of matches for the night. Scott Steiner [A/N: If anyone noticed, I made an error here...I really need to start proofreading my stuff!] would be facing off against Chris Nowinski, and Trish had been put in a triple threat match against Victoria and Jazz. Meanwhile, cameras were being set up in Kylrane's office for a promo. The GM was on the phone with none other than Mike Baldo, Smackdown's GM.
"Yeah, Stephanie did freak...she's really upset about what you did to her office..."Kylrane told Mike, fidgeting nervously as she watched the match going on out in the ring via a monitor. She had gone ahead and allowed Teddy Long to continue his "Five Minute White Boy Challenges" so Rodney Mack could get some exposure on Raw. Hopefully nothing too controversial would transpire that night, she didn't need to be sued the first night on TV.
"Are you sure I can't trade anyone for The Rock?" Mike asked her, obviously trying to create another trade. Kylrane rolled her eyes. "You won't give me The Undertaker, Edge is out on injury, Kurt Angle is part of your little 'administration', and I will NOT trade The Rock off for some rookies that can't do shit." She took a sip of raspberry tea from a mug Mr Diamond Dust had quickly supplied. Mike snickered on the phone. "But you were willing to trade off Booker T for Brian Kendrick?"
"That's different! Booker T isn't progressing at all on Raw and I think he can do better on Smackdown. Despite his supposed arrogance, The Rock is probably one of the best guys out there in the business and I can't afford to trade him." Kylrane explained, twirling the telephone cord around her finger.
"The Dudleyz are one of the best tag teams in the business, but you traded them to me for Team Angle" Mike pointed out. Kylrane rolled her eyes again, annoyed that the Smackdown GM believed she had gotten the short end of the stick. "The trade is finalized, so just to let you know, the Dudleyz don't like authority. They don't like it at all. If they remained on Raw with that asshole Morley, all hell would have broken loose. Therefore, it's better if hell breaks loose over on your show while I get a strong tag team that is probably willing to be my personal bitches."
Mike snorted over the phone. "I thought Stephanie was already your personal bitch." Kylrane smirked at the remark and glanced over to the McMahon daughter, who was flipping through the pages of an issue of Vogue. Mr Diamond Dust gave her a dirty look as he tried to help out with everything. The GM sighed and responded, "Maybe a bitch, but a lazy ass bitch that won't do anything. I've already got Sean Morley walking around with an 'I'm Kylrane's Bitch' shirt on; I can add a few more. See, you call it an administration. I call it my band of bitches."
"Point taken. So, are you sure you won't trade Jeff, Jericho, Triple H, Kane...." Mike started. Kylrane slammed her fist on the desk. "No damnit, that's final! Jeff draws a big audience, Jericho's a funny loudmouth, Triple H is a big nosed selfish jerk, Kane is Kane...hold on...maybe we can work out something..."
"Excuse me, Miss, you're on in a few minutes." One of the camera guys told Kylrane. She nodded and told Mike, "Gotta go. We'll talk later." They hung up while Kylrane went over what she was going to say in her head. Soon, the cameras began rolling. The audience in the arena were confused as to who the hell was showing on the titan tron.
"Hello Birmingham, Alabama! (or wherever the hell they were that day, I don't know, I just chose that town at random) Welcome to the best damn show the WWE can offer, RAW!" The blatant suck up received some loud pops from the crowd. "You all might be wondering who the hell I am. Well, I'm the new General Manager of Raw! Yup, that's right, no more Eric Bitchoff ruining good TV!" That was followed by more cheers. "You see, Vince McMahon gave both Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff 'job evaluations' a few days ago and decided they would be suspended from their positions as General Managers of Smackdown and Raw indefinitely. But of course, Vince needed new GMs, so here I am! My name is Kylrane, and let me tell you RIGHT NOW that I'm extremely different from Eric Bischoff. First off, I'm rehiring Lita!!"
Mr Diamond Dust rushed to tell Kylrane that Lita hadn't been fired at all; postponing all these fics made her forget what happened when. Embarassed, the GM added, "I'm hiring Lita as...er, not only a commentator on Heat, but as a backstage interviewer!!" Kylrane gave Mr D an 'I-owe-you-one' look and continued to speak. "Also, I will be bringing back not one but TWO titles!" That brought cheers from the audience. "The first to be resurrected is...the HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!!! I'd bring back the Intercontinental Championship too but that damned new Smackdown General Manager not only stole that title but he stole RENE AND SYLVAN, LA RESISTANCE AWAY FROM ME!!!!" She proceeded to sob for a moment before composing herself. "Anyway, in the IC belt's place, I've decided to take the US Championship," pausing to hear cheering at the mention of US, "and bring it to Raw. Tonight there will be-"
Triple H suddenly burst into the room. The camera guy zoomed into the Champ's face, which had a disturbing smile on. "I heard you traded Booker T for that numb nut Spanky Kendrick."
Frowning, Kylrane responded, "He's not a numb nut you jackass!! Who the hell do you think you are barging in on my first ever introductory promo, huh?!" Hunter leaned forward intimidatingly, making Kylrane shrink back a little. "Booker T's no longer on the Raw roster, leaving no Number 1 Contender. That means I have no match tonight. Can I have off?"
Kylrane scowled at Hunter and flipped him the finger. "You can have THIS Trips. And what do you MEAN you have no match tonight? Because tonight, as my first televised action as Raw General Manager, I'm putting you in a match as our main event! It's going to be a no disqualification match like no other. I'm putting you in the ring with Kane, RVD, The Rock, Jeff Hardy, Christian, Chris Jericho, The Hurricane,. All at once. It's going to be for the Intercontinental Title, and the object is simple. First guy to get a pinfall or submission on you wins. That means you're going to have all those guys beat you to a pulp repeatedly. Oh yeah, and one more thing- the winner also faces off with you at Backlash next Sunday. So be off with you, there's an ass kicking awaiting."
Triple H gave Kylrane one last glare before storming out of the office. He glanced at Stephanie, who immediately made a face at him and crossed her legs. Mr Diamond Dust slammed the door for good measure. The cameras stopped filming, signifiying the end of the promo. The three in the office relaxed to enjoy the rest of the night.
**************************************************************************** *************
After Rodney Mack successfully kicked the crap out of a random white boy, Test got a victory over Steven Richards, Nowinski got a DQ win against Scott Steiner, and Victoria got the win over Trish and Jazz, people were getting excited for the huge IC title match. But then Garbage's "Only Happy When It Rains" hit, with Kylrane prancing out onto the stage. There was a microphone in her hand.
"HEY! I look kinda tall in these heels...Anyway, I forgot to add something to my promo beforehand, so I might as well announce it now. I have several new additions to the Raw roster. [A/N: Goldberg wasn't part of Raw yet right?? ^_^ I forget...] First is GOLDBERG, who will be joined by..."
The words "SUCK IT!" echoed throughout the arena as the old Degeneration X theme hit. Goldberg was in DX garb, along with Shawn Michaels, Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, and X-Pac. Shawn held the mic to Goldberg, who nodded towards a beaming Kylrane before speaking. "That's right, Triple H! DX is back! But with one minor adjustment - instead of a big nosed asshole jerk like you in it, they've got ME, BILL GOLDBERG!!!"
Kylrane went over to the announce table and put on a headset in order to commentate during the next match. DX took seats around the ring. Jonathan Coachman held out his hand for Kylrane to shake as he greeted her warmly, "Welcome to Raw, Kylrane." Kylrane shook his hand and turned her attention to the titantron as the wrestlers began to make their way to the ring.
"So, Kylrane, you're the new General Manager of Raw, huh?? Does that mean we're going to see some more puppies around here??" King asked excitedly. Kylrane narrowed her eyes as Jericho entered the ring, answering, "Don't overdose on your Viagra, King. Just because there's going to be a female in charge around here doesn't mean that you're going to have all the T&A matches you want. I'm here to make Raw the most successful show in sports entertainment!"
By the end of Coach and King introducing the advertisers, the match was ready to begin. The Hurricane decided to run at Triple H to try and tackle him but ended up flying through the ropes and out of the ring. "AHH! I guess the Hurricane can't fly!" King joked. Kane and RVD decided to double team against Chris Jericho and Christian while The Rock beat up on Triple H. [A/N: I apologize massively; I cannot write matches or battle sequences for my life.] However, there was a miscommunication between Kane and RVD when the latter kicked the Big Red Machine in the face by accident, causing Kane to kick RVD's ass. Chris Jericho went ahead in helping to kick Triple H's ass. Mayhem continued for about ten minutes [A/N: I TOLD YOU I CAN'T WRITE MATCHES!] until "The New DX" got impatient and began to kick the crap out of everyone in the ring.
"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THE CARNAGE!!" cried Coach. Kylrane merely shrugged. "They didn't clothesline Trips hard enough." Everyone was laid out on the mat except for one person, who was still outside the ring and had been outside since the beginning - everyone's favorite superhero, the Hurricane. He slowly climbed up onto the apron, lifted up Triple H, and pulled the Eye of the Hurricane on the Champion. The ref counted the 1-2-3, making the Hurricane the new IC Champ. Kylrane squealed with excitement as Raw went off air while the Hurricane made his way up the ramp, waving around his new belt. Goldberg held up a mic and pointed his finger to Triple H, who was starting to get up.
"This is just the beginning of your living hell, Hunter. Just the beginning!"
**************************************************************************** *************
Author's Note: Hope that was ok and I hope it kind of makes up for the long delay! ^_^ Insaneiac is much faster at updating than I am, so maybe he compensates for that. OOH I got DX *does dance* maybe I got more in store! ^_^ WATCH RAW! WATCH RAW!! Oh and Mr Diamond Dust, if you are still reading, I'll try to give you a bigger role. However, Mr Diamond Dust has had a "falling out" with Fanfiction.net regarding one of his fics so I may have to recruit another assistant.... I'll try and fit in other reviewers as I write...oh and Prime Time Mattitude, INSANEIAC'S NOT GETTING JEFFY!! NEVER!!! ^_^ Hahahah I still got Spanky anyway....
Stop listening to me and REVIEW!!! (Isn't that contradictory? LOL)