~*~ When Fans Go Bad!: The Les Mis Version ~*~
(Or: A Game for Bored Young Girls to Play)

~*~ By Andikins and Morikins~*~

AN: Whee, chapter five! *happy grin* This one's VERY odd, and ends with something of a cliffhanger. Anyway, about the "Foofoo disease"...on the site Mori and I are on, the LOTR Plaza, Elves are called "foofoo", for some odd reason. We're viewed as hyper, odd beings, that glomp and poke everything in sight (hence, Joly thinking that 'Ferre had it when he poked R). Very sad, really. -_-;; And don't ask about the "little brown jug of absinthe". You're better off not knowing that. ^^;;;

VII. Chapter Five, or: Finding the Others (and laughing at them)

Enjolras was thinking up a plan. Of course. He was ALWAYS thinking up plans.

Anyway, said blonde student was sitting on one of the sofas, in deep thought. Andi was sitting next to him, staring at him and randomly letting out dreamy sighs. Combeferre raised an eyebrow, and Jehan sighed, too.

"Awww...isn't it sweet, Joly?"

"Eh?" Joly looked up from where he had been filing his nails, searching for dangerous bacteria. "Er, yeah, sure, whatever."

Meanwhile, Grantaire had passed out...again. Mori and Combeferre were discussing their issues (mainly, annoying/irritating best friends) in a deep heart-to-heart.

"I'm serious, he's so cold sometimes...I think he needs to get out more." Combeferre sighed. "I've tried to introduce him to some nice girls, but no, he gives me his speech on how he's not aware of the existance of a creature called woman." He shook his head. "Stubborn."

Well, at least you're not stuck with a constant bubblegummer...day and night, all I hear about is Enjie, Enjie, Enjie. I mean, I like Enjie too, but can we say 'obsessed'?

"What's bubblegum?" Combeferre asked curiously.

Er…*sweatdrop* Nevermind.

"I have it!!" Enjolras shot to his feet in triumph.

"Have what?" Joly looked up, alarmed. "Chicken pox, salmonella, malaria?" He proceeded to hide under the couch. "Noooo! Noooo! I'm going to dieeeee!"

Combeferre groaned.

Enjolras, looking lofty and slightly annoyed, continued. "No, I have come to a conclusion on our situation."

"And that is...?" offered Jehan.

Enjolras cleared his throat importantly. "I have no idea where the hell we are."

Everyone facefaulted.

Well, anyway... Andi said, looking half-disappointed, half-amused. I suppose we could try one of the Almighty Authorly Writingly Things We Do...

We could, mused Mori. But anything could go wrong. Take our current situation, for example.

"It's not as if it's helping just sitting around here," Enjolras said, impatiently. He sprung up, throwing a fist into the air. "Let's gooooo!"

...Calm down, Enjie. We need a sign! To rally the people, to call them to arms, and to bring them in line!

Mori blinked. ...Er, Andi, a sign?

A plan.

"No stealing my liiiiiiiiines!" Enjolras whined.

Grantaire woke up, alarmed. "Did Enjolras have too much to drink?"

"He had *nothing* to drink," Combeferre said, poking Grantaire.

Joly gasped.

...What?

"'FERRE HATH CAUGHT THE FOO FOO DISEASE!"

...How could *you* know about the Foofoo disease? Andi asked, raising an eyebrow.

Mori gave an exasperated sigh. Who CARES?! We have to go find the others! She jumped on the couch and began to sing Red and Black, very loudly, earning annoyed stares from the others present. She sweatdropped and got down.

Enjolras cleared his throat. "Well. Anyway. She's right! Let's go!"

Suddenly a 2000-ton anvil dropped from the sky and knocked everyone out.

~

"About time..." Enjolras grumbled.

Well, it was your fault, Mori snorted. So don't complain.

Enjolras frowned indignantly. "And how exactly was it my fault?"

What were you smoking?

"Stop trying to change the subject."

I'm not!

"Just get on with the story!" Enjolras shook his head in exasperation.

Now who's trying to change the subject?

"...Shut up."

~

When they woke up, they noticed strange - frilly things - dancing around them and singing something about "hearts" and "love". Enjolras blinked. What did these words mean? But never mind, they strove towards a larger goal. Their little lives didn't count at aaaall!

Slowly, everyone began to take in their surroundings, gagging the appropriate amounts. Andi began sighing and looking at Enjie pointedly, while said Enjie loked a bit confused/nervous, Mori rolled her eyes, and Jehan sighed.

"Joly, isn't it romantic?"

"Eh?" Joly looked up, from where he was studying Combeferre's tongue, despite the student's protests that "I don haf de Hoohoo disheash, Sho'ee!". "Er, yeah, sure, whatever."

Grantaire had, as usual, managed to find some absinthe, and was now singing absently ("Weeee're all...*hic* drooooowning in a...*hic* liiiiiiittle brown jug...*hic*...of absinthe!!! *hic*"). Enjolras, meanwhile, has noticed that the "frilly things" were, in fact...

"Bahorel!! Laigle!! Feuilly!!!" The revolutionary shot to his feet. "Where have been, what are you doing here, and...what in the name of the Republic are you WEARING!??!"

All three men flushed in embarrassment. "Er..." Everyone but Grantaire and Joly turned to look at the red-faced man, the bald man, and the rather nondescript fan-maker, and nearly threw up in disgust. All three were clad in very short pink, lacy, heart-stamped togas.