~*~ When Fans Go Bad!: The Les Mis Version ~*~
(Or: A Game for Bored Young Girls to Play)

~*~ By Andikins and Morikins~*~

A/N: *ggwll* Gotta love Mori's scary subplots...anyway, I hope no one takes offense from my less-than-stellar portrayal of or attitude towards God. I know it's not something to be taken lightly and all, but it's a crazyfic...I'm abandoning all sense of belief and reason for purposes of insanity. ^^;; Enjoy!

IX. Chapter Seven, or: The "Losers" and What They Did

Andi was still running from Gavvie's Secret Police (Huh, who'd've thought that little brat was in cahoots with Javert?) when she ran right into Cosette.

"Ahhhh!! My dress, my lovely dress! It's wrinkled!!!" The girl sank to the ground and burst into loud tears.

Erf...sorry, Cosette... Andi bit her lip, knowing that she'd have to face two very angry people if the girl didn't shut up... Cosette, please shut up, please stop crying...

But it was too late.

"ANDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The author cringed, turning...

...to face Valjean and Fantine, standing behind a distraught Cosette, looking furious. Andi let out a groan, threw a marble on the ground, and leaped into the portal that opened rather than face Cosette's furious parents...

~

Mori groaned loudly. That's not fair at all. Why does Andi always get the important mission, while I get stuck with the losers?

"LOSERS?!" chorused Grantaire, Bahorel, Combeferre, and Joly.

Well... Mori surveyed her followers. With the exception of Combeferre, yes. Losers. She grinned, and gestured for them to follow. They followed. She lectured. We, now, are going to find a way to get back home. Out of this place, at least.

"Can't you just write us home?" Combeferre offered, frowning. "That's what authors are for, hm?"

"As long as there's some good absinthe...or Enjolras..." Grantaire growled, tossing aside an empty bottle, narrowly missing Joly. Joly screamed.

"Watch where you throw that thing! Knowing you, it's a breeding ground for bacteria..." He shuddered.

Mori cleared her throat. To answer Combeferre – no. If you were ordinary made-up characters, I could, but it's harder when I'm dealing with the likes of you. Noting some glares pointed her direction, she added, Already existing characters, I mean.

"You know, it makes me uncomfortable to be referred to as a 'character'," Bahorel said, "as if we were just fiction, or something."

Mori bit her tongue to keep from blurting out that they *were* fiction. Well, this way. She led them into a dark alley.

"Wait a second," Bahorel said, grabbing Mori's arm to stop her. "Why are you leading us? You don't know any more about this place than we do, and you're only a little girl."

...Little girl? *twitch*

"Just let her, Bahorel," Combeferre said. "Do not doubt the powers of an Author."

That's right. Let's go.

And they followed her into a trap.

~

Meanwhile, Andi and God were yelling at each other.

Look, God dude. I've got a mission here – I'm trying to get all the Amis together, so we can decide what to do with them, and then ship them back off to Les Mis to die and be cried over, etc., etc.

"DYING?" choked out Feuilly. "No one said anything about dying!!"

Enjolras glared at him. "You should be prepared to fight and die for your cause at any given time, citizen!"

"Who're you calling citizen, citizen?"

"How DARE you call me citizen, citizen?"

"I dare, citizen!"

Laigle and Jehan groaned.

Andi glared at Feuilly, shutting him up, and then at Enjolras, who simply glared back and pouted loftily.

God's booming voice was heard. I cannot allow you to take someone who has been punished from his punishment! He was sent away for refusing my orders – he must be punished!

But if you let me take him away from his punishment, I WILL punish him!

What punishment could you possibly do to punish him further than he has already been punished?

Andi thought quickly. I...once we leave, I'll stick him in a cage with rabid Enjolras fangirls!

Laigle, Feuilly, and Jehan all winced. "Oooohhh!"

I...I myself could never think of a worse punishment for someone who deserves to be punished s –

"Alright, enough with the punishment!!!" yelled Laigle in annoyance.

God gestured with his hand. You may take him away!

Awright! Thanks, God! Andi saluted cheerily, then called to the chars to go. However, as she was about to open the portal to Hell, she was confronted by Enjolras.

"How can you do this? You promised to torture Courfeyrac with the worst torture known to humankind...I thought you were coming to save him!"

Andi waved away his concern. Don't worry 'bout it, Enjie...I'll find a way around it. You think I'd really abandon 'Feyrac to fangirl hell? 'Course not...I'm not THAT evil! Winking, she pulled out another ring and made a portal. Once again, she tossed Laigle, Jehan, and Feuilly through it, then jumped with Enjolras.

Right about then, the world ended.

~

Joly stepped forward, and promptly ran into someone. Muttering an apology, he backed up, and fainted upon seeing who it was.

Bahorel, Grantaire, Combeferre, and Mori spun around. The first three screamed in horror, and the fourth screamed in delight. It's working! WORKING, I TELL YOUUU! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

Combeferre blinked.

Bahorel stared.

Joly snored.

Grantaire crawled into a corner with a bottle of absinthe.

Meanwhile, a glass cage appeared around the person-Joly-had-bumped-into. "What?! This isn't good for my sinuses! I'm going to suffocate!"

Mori motioned upward, indicating a row of breathing holes.

Another snore issued from Joly, and the caged-person looked down.

"LOOK DOWN! LOOK DOWN! DON'T LOOK 'EM IN THE EYE! LOOK DOWN! LOOK DOWN! YOU'RE HERE UNTIL YOU DIE!"

...Javert? What are you doing here? I thought you were dead.

Javert was surprised. "Dead? What gave you that idea?"

Erm...bridge? River? Do those words hold any meaning for you?

"The Amis aren't dead yet, are they?"

Mori shrugged and tossed Javert into a closet.

"Hey! I was doing something!" The caged-person said, crossing his arms.

"...That didn't come out right."

The caged person glared at Combeferre, and proceeded to look down, exclaiming in an over-exaggerated tone, "Look! It's me!" He attempted to point a finger at Joly, but succeeded in breaking it against the glass, instead. Whimpering, he sat down.

"WHAT?! IT'S YOU?!" chorused the remaining Mizzy characters.

Seriously, you didn't recognize him? Mori said, sweatdropping. What were you screaming for, then?

"His shoes clash," Bahorel said.

Caged-Joly attempted to cover a pair of neon orange shoes, protesting, "He got the good pair."

Joly woke up, blinked, caught sight of his double, and screamed. "I'm hallucinating! Someone slap me!" Four hands collided with his face, and he fell unconscious once again.

~

"What DID happen to him?" Courfeyrac inquired.

Mori groaned. Argh! Stupid memory-less Amis! If you can't even remember something you were THERE for...

"Er...Mori, hun...I WASN'T there. I was in Hell...remember?"

Mori sweatdropped and blushed. Oh. Right. Well, anyway, just keep listening, then...

"I wonder where Andi is," Combeferre commented.