~*~ When Fans Go Bad!: The Les Mis Version ~*~
(Or: A Game for Bored Young Girls to Play)

~*~ By Andikins and Morikins~*~

A/N: And the fic continues its downward spiral into the world of seriousness...*shrieks in horror* Don't worry, I'm doing my best to save it from THAT horrible fate...anyway, the nickname "Rei" comes from the name I originally got Andi from – Andorëiel. Mori calls me Rei ^.^

XI. Chapter Nine, or: Trouble with Said Author's Authorly Powers

Meanwhile, Andi, Rei, Enjolras, Jehan, Feuilly (both revived), and Laigle were walking over to the barricade chamber. It was apparently much further away than it looked, so they were walking for about 15 minutes. Laigle seemed extremely interested in the fact that Rei was from the future, and kept trying to ask her about what would happen, but said author was trying to figure out how to get back into her time.

"Hey, you're the author...can't you just write yourself back into your time?" inquired Enjolras, who had overheard the conversation.

Rei shook her head sadly. I wish...it's not that easy, not at all. Andi, explain to him, I'm busy.

Andi cleared her throat importantly and launched into a long, complicated lecture about authors and the way that they work that no one paid attention to. Anyway, what this means is we can decide the basic plots that occur, but if something random that we didn't plan happens, we're at its mercy just like everyone else. The rules are very complicated.

You know, you fanfic characters are extremely ungrateful and ununderstanding. We authors have lives just like you, and sometimes it's tough getting out of these random traps! It's just...so hard! We're normal people who just like writing, and sometimes we get stuck...and then we're bashed! We're just trying our best! Her chin trembling from trying not to cry, Rei turned away after her little speech.

Laigle and Feuilly both had tears in their eyes, and Jehan was sobbing his eyes out on Enjolras' shoulder. Even the Fearless Leader looked a bit moved. After sniffling over her misfortune, Rei went back to fiddling with her rings. Laigle gave Andi a questioning look.

There's one more twist, explained Andi, taking over again after wiping her eyes. She held up her own hand to show the rings there. These rings were given to me... er - She looked to Rei. To us... to me... us...me? Looking confused, she shook her head. Anyway, we've got them so that we can move from place to place easily. The places we go to are real, y'see, and looked over by God, so we need a slightly flashier way to get around. We can't simply write ourselves everywhere. And in Hell and Heaven, no writing can take place. We've simply got to live with everything like... She gulped. Like you guys.

Jehan looked terrified. "Y...Y'mean we're stuck in the worst possible place, the very center of torture, with two hopeless authors who can't help us at all?"

I resent that!!! Yes, pretty much, said Andi and Rei at the same time. Rei grinned and elaborated. Well, I wouldn't exactly go that far...we've still got our rings. But it's hard to work the ringspell in Heaven and Hell...and don't get me started on moving through times!

"Is that why it took you so long to get US over here?" inquired Enjolras.

Rei squealed and flung her arms around Enjolras' neck. The revolutionary winced. Yep, that was it, but it was sooo worth it, Enjie darling!

Andi glared at her double. Pulling Rei off of Enjie, she chided, Now get back to your ring problem, and proceeded to pounce on Enjie herself. Jehan and Laigle sweatdropped.

"Hoi, Andi?" Both Andi and Rei turned, Rei turning back to her rings when she noticed that Feuilly was talking to her double.

Yes, Feuilly?

"These rings...they're an author thing?" Andi nodded. "But Mori doesn't have them...if you get the rings as a power, what does Mori get?"

Rei snorted loudly at this, and Andi stifled a huge grin. Oh, you'll see...you must ask her about it sometimes!

~

"What IS your authorly power, then?" Courfeyrac asked curiously. "And where'd 'Ferre go?"

The latter went to look for Andi, but came back to hear about her group...he was here a few seconds ago, must have left to look for her again. Mori grinned secretly, brushing her hair from her face. And you'll see...just keep listening...

~

Mori sighed and put on a face of mock despair. Oh, please let me down. These ropes are cutting into my skin, and I won't be able to do anything if I'm bound.

"Alright," Combeferre said, getting up and cutting the ropes neatly with the knife. "We were planning to all along, anyway. What do you think the knives were for?"

You know me too well, Mori said coldly, rolling her eyes. Thank you. She reluctantly fished a key out of her pocket, and twisted it in a lock that hung from the glass cage. Joly #2, hands red from beating against the glass, stumbled out and fell upon the grass. The real Joly let out a scream and hid behind Bahorel, who grunted but did not move. Mori glared at Joly. We can't afford to have distractions now. Get used to it.

Joly #2 was staring at his hands in horror. "It'll get infected!...Mori? Mori?"

Said author groaned, and Joly #2's hands were back to normal in a matter of seconds. So, can we get down to business? There's something I haven't told you.

"What, you've secretly developed the black plague and are just waiting for the perfect moment to pass it on to the rest of us?" Joly asked sarcastically.

Exactly.

Joly screamed again.

Oh please, I was joking! One more scream, and you'll regret it for a year...

"Well, what is it?"

You see, there are certain powers bestowed upon the Authors. Mine is—

"WHAT?!?!?" Bahorel burst out. "We've been stuck here all this time, and you decide to tell us now?! You lying filth; if you didn't have the power to bring him—er, us home, you'd have been better off dead."

Mori crossed her arms and waited for Bahorel to calm down, before she continued. As I was saying, I have the power to... erm... well, my muse didn't tell me what it does. She produced an amulet from her pocket, a dull blood-red one that hung on two black twisted threads. Red, the blood of angry men! Black, the dark of ages past!

~

"I thought you didn't want any distractions," Courfeyrac snorted, patting Mori on the shoulder. Mori shoved his arm away good-naturedly.

Don't rob me of my crazy moments.

"As if you can't spare them – there's ever so many."

Mori grinned, stuck her tongue out, and turned back to the parchment.

~

"You mean you don't know?"

No, of course not. I'm not one to take advantage of my powers, and Second Authors are generally overlooked. No one ever tells me things.

"Awww, poor Mori!" Joly said, grinning, and gave her a hug.

She smirked. You know, what if I have the 'Foofoo disease'?

Joly let go of her as if she were a slice of moldy bread. "Why didn't you inform me of this?!" A memory struck him. "Wait— 'Ferre is ill!" He spun on said revolutionary. "What are you doing walking and living like a healthy man?! You're supposed to be in bed." Out of nowhere, a white hospital bed appeared, and Joly coaxed the very disturbed and protesting Combeferre ("I am a man! No worse than any man!") into it.

Unnerved by the apparent indifference of the hypochondriac, Combeferre persisted, "Joly, I tell you, I am well!" and clambered over the bed to hide behind a tree. The other Joly looked up from his pocket-mirror, dropped it, and jumped to his feet.

"Come back here! You shouldn't be running around."

Mori shrugged and tied the amulet around her neck. The only way to find out what it does is to test it out, eh? She sat down and buried her head in her arms, trying to free her mind of all the noise. After all, an author needs absolute concentration before using one of her Almighty Powers, lest it go wrong. Especially when she had no idea what was supposed to happen.

~

"In other words," inquired Enjolras, "you got stuck?"

No, of course not. I just don't like rushing things. Mori smiled.

"Well, look what it got us!" he gestured around him, at the bleak, grey place they were in.

Shh, don't give away the plot.

"What plot?"

Mori couldn't help but laugh. Actually, this is one of the first fics Andi and I have co-written that actually DOES have a plot. Traces of one, at least...