Chapter 5
Yes I am back to hunt your dreams and make fun of all of you out there. Ok so I am back to prove just how much the freak population is growing. Take my group of friends for example. We are Hannah, Chrissie (my siamese twin sister born a month after me), Haleigh (my cousin, sister-in- law, and sister), Sam, Gary, Grace (my partner in crime at the Tooth Fairy Network, and foster sister), Whitney (who names her boobs and "cheeks"), Nikky, Becky (although she is one of the normal humans), Ben (who is just a normal punk), and finally me. Well, my sophomore friend Airika, who considers herself the Chief-In-Command Fairy Prostitute, is in the Yearbook staff and she says that they are thinking of taking a picture of us at lunch-time because we are the craziest group of freaks they have ever seen. Isn't that awesome?! Comes to show just how crazy these people think we are!
Now I shall explain how my family works. This is something you might want to take notes for, because it is quite complicated. Ok let's start with me and my siamese twin sister Chrissie. Our mom was Lily Potter, and we know that because she had us months after she was dead. You see, the Ministry of Magic kept her at Mundungus Hospital because we were alive inside her tummy! So, after eight months passed, I was born on June 22, 1988. But since we were siamese sisters, I was just kinda hanging out there by my left foot (comes to explain why it is bigger than my right foot). Then, a month after, on July 30th, 1988 Chrissie was born. Our father was Lord Voldemort's dad, Tom Riddle, son of Marvolo Riddle. They were having an affair and we are the product of it. Now we are special because we are half Lord Voldemort's sisters and half Harry Potter's sister, so we are pretty powerful ourselves. We have this weird connection from Voldemort's brain, so we sorta share some of his neat powers! Yay!
Anyway, Grace comes next. We don't know exactly where she came from, but her parents must have been pretty crazy 'cause she is totally insane! She is our foster sister, for we adopted her, not our parents. I was brought up by different parents, apart from Chrissie's. We only just found out we were related a year ago! Anywho, next comes Ryan. He is our cousin, but has been married to Chrissie, Hannah, and me a bunch of times. They had 1000 children (born every eight minutes), 999 of them working at Burger King, and only one, smart enough to work at Apple's. But as for right now, we are all divorced, and I am the priestess who married them all, Chrissie is his sex slave (not really, don't think wrong of us!), and Hannah is just there.meh. He was supposed to be Dudley, except he lost a big amount of weight, and it turns out he was half Japanese, and he got a little bit too nasty minded. That's what happens when you find out you are related to a pair of mixed creepy families.*ahem*
Next comes my dear Haleigh. She is my sister in law because she married my newly found foster brother Freddie (otherwise known as Jade in the HP stories). They were pregnant, except she lost the baby so yeah. She is my cousin because she is Charity's cousin and Charity says I'm also her cousin. She is also my sister because she declares herself to be Chrisie's sister, so that makes us sisters as well, and also Grace's sister, which makes her Charity's step-cousin, or something like that. Grace and me are the Tooth Fairies that work at the Tooth Fairy Network (along with Airika) up in Rainbow Valley. My drunk grandma gave us our jobs so that's pretty clear. We steal people's teeth to later give them to Eminem, so that he can create his crazy band of fans, that will later on buy his c.d.'s and make him rich. I also own my own Tooth Paste Factory, which is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and once a month.
Our daily activities are as follows: When the lunch bell rings, we happily come forth for a fun time! We have our little audience, that like to throw pieces of chicken and carrots and maybe even some drinks at us, just for the sake of it. The only things we do is run around, screaming quite loudly, cause lots of attention, despair, chaos, and most of all fun. Without fun, we wouldn't exist, and without us our audience wouldn't be able to throw their food scraps at us. We are also part of the circle of mafias as well! I found the Italian Mafia, which now belongs to my dearest friend Diana. She is also head of the Sicilian Mafia and the French Mafia. I am head of the German Mafia, the Spanish Mafia, the British Mafia, and the Greek Mafia (kindly given to me by Diana). The rest of the people (excluding Grace, who is part of Diana's mafias and mine) are part of the Mozambican Mafia. Alas, I almost forgot! Sean is the Iceland Mafia, which likes to attack me with flying pink monkeys, and Gary is the Irish Mafia, which I don't like because he thinks he's better than my British Mafia (quite uncertain). As part of any of these mafias, you will kindly wear these messages: We aim to please, we arrange funerals for your friends, and we kill for your will.
To end this madness, I shall post a funny conversation I had with my dear friend Tyler, who resides in Washington (I like to call him Washington Apple.although he doesn't know this): T8y8: Are you well?
CykoKatz24: DADDY!!!!
CykoKatz24: you hate me, brother!
CykoKatz24: we're breaking up, I can't stand you anymore, Tyler!!
T8y8: I don't hate you
T8y8: ok
T8y8: I can accept that
CykoKatz24: I love you!!! NO!! yes!!! NO!!!
CykoKatz24: STOP IT STOP IT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!
CykoKatz24: *screams*
T8y8: ARE YOU OK???????????
CykoKatz24: *sips sulfur tea* oh yeah *shivers*
T8y8: ok
T8y8: Good
CykoKatz24: *screams* what am I drinking????
CykoKatz24: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
CykoKatz24: *faints*
T8y8: now lie down on the couch and tell me what the problem began
CykoKatz24:
T8y8: *Grabs a bucket labeled 'in case of fainted patient*
T8y8: *throws cold water on Monica*
CykoKatz24: on floor?
CykoKatz24: *opens eyes as wide as able*
CykoKatz24: *floats*
CykoKatz24: *screams like banshee* I AM POSSESED BY THE DEVIL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
T8y8: ok
T8y8: Hypnosis
CykoKatz24: *turns to attack him*
CykoKatz24: *turns
CykoKatz24: *grabs neck*
CykoKatz24: *chokes*
T8y8: *swings pocket watch*
T8y8: You are getting sleepy
CykoKatz24: oohhh SHINY!!!
CykoKatz24: *grabs it*
T8y8: VERY sleepy!!!!!!
CykoKatz24: *pulls*
T8y8: NOW FALL ASLEEP!!!!!!!
CykoKatz24: *MINE!!!!!!*
CykoKatz24: *pulls clock*
T8y8: ASLEEP!!!
T8y8: ASLEEP!
T8y8: ASLEEP!! GOTO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CykoKatz24: MINE!!!!
CykoKatz24: MINE!!!!
T8y8: You are falling into a deep trance
T8y8: a very deep trace
CykoKatz24: MY WATCH
T8y8: you are becoming more relaxed
CykoKatz24: NO!!!
CykoKatz24: MY WATCH!!!
T8y8: There are weights tied to your eyes
T8y8: you cannot keep them open
CykoKatz24: *eyes widen*
T8y8: you are VERY relaxed
T8y8: you are so relaxed you are in a trance
CykoKatz24: *grabs his hair*
CykoKatz24: GIMME WATCH!!!
T8y8: Ok you can have it
CykoKatz24: YAY!!
CykoKatz24: *grabs it and stares at it, laughing*
CykoKatz24: shiny.....shiny.....shiny...oooohhhh...shiny.....
T8y8: ok
CykoKatz24: shiny........
CykoKatz24: *looks up*
T8y8: yes shiny
CykoKatz24: *eyes turn red*
T8y8: shiny
CykoKatz24: *shows fangs*
CykoKatz24: *jerks arm*
CykoKatz24: *grabs your leg and stays there*
CykoKatz24: ahhhh I have to go hell is calling me!!!!
T8y8: You need an actually trained psychologist
T8y8: guy person
CykoKatz24: *goes out of room screaming* BYE TYLER!!!! hahahahahaha
Yes I am back to hunt your dreams and make fun of all of you out there. Ok so I am back to prove just how much the freak population is growing. Take my group of friends for example. We are Hannah, Chrissie (my siamese twin sister born a month after me), Haleigh (my cousin, sister-in- law, and sister), Sam, Gary, Grace (my partner in crime at the Tooth Fairy Network, and foster sister), Whitney (who names her boobs and "cheeks"), Nikky, Becky (although she is one of the normal humans), Ben (who is just a normal punk), and finally me. Well, my sophomore friend Airika, who considers herself the Chief-In-Command Fairy Prostitute, is in the Yearbook staff and she says that they are thinking of taking a picture of us at lunch-time because we are the craziest group of freaks they have ever seen. Isn't that awesome?! Comes to show just how crazy these people think we are!
Now I shall explain how my family works. This is something you might want to take notes for, because it is quite complicated. Ok let's start with me and my siamese twin sister Chrissie. Our mom was Lily Potter, and we know that because she had us months after she was dead. You see, the Ministry of Magic kept her at Mundungus Hospital because we were alive inside her tummy! So, after eight months passed, I was born on June 22, 1988. But since we were siamese sisters, I was just kinda hanging out there by my left foot (comes to explain why it is bigger than my right foot). Then, a month after, on July 30th, 1988 Chrissie was born. Our father was Lord Voldemort's dad, Tom Riddle, son of Marvolo Riddle. They were having an affair and we are the product of it. Now we are special because we are half Lord Voldemort's sisters and half Harry Potter's sister, so we are pretty powerful ourselves. We have this weird connection from Voldemort's brain, so we sorta share some of his neat powers! Yay!
Anyway, Grace comes next. We don't know exactly where she came from, but her parents must have been pretty crazy 'cause she is totally insane! She is our foster sister, for we adopted her, not our parents. I was brought up by different parents, apart from Chrissie's. We only just found out we were related a year ago! Anywho, next comes Ryan. He is our cousin, but has been married to Chrissie, Hannah, and me a bunch of times. They had 1000 children (born every eight minutes), 999 of them working at Burger King, and only one, smart enough to work at Apple's. But as for right now, we are all divorced, and I am the priestess who married them all, Chrissie is his sex slave (not really, don't think wrong of us!), and Hannah is just there.meh. He was supposed to be Dudley, except he lost a big amount of weight, and it turns out he was half Japanese, and he got a little bit too nasty minded. That's what happens when you find out you are related to a pair of mixed creepy families.*ahem*
Next comes my dear Haleigh. She is my sister in law because she married my newly found foster brother Freddie (otherwise known as Jade in the HP stories). They were pregnant, except she lost the baby so yeah. She is my cousin because she is Charity's cousin and Charity says I'm also her cousin. She is also my sister because she declares herself to be Chrisie's sister, so that makes us sisters as well, and also Grace's sister, which makes her Charity's step-cousin, or something like that. Grace and me are the Tooth Fairies that work at the Tooth Fairy Network (along with Airika) up in Rainbow Valley. My drunk grandma gave us our jobs so that's pretty clear. We steal people's teeth to later give them to Eminem, so that he can create his crazy band of fans, that will later on buy his c.d.'s and make him rich. I also own my own Tooth Paste Factory, which is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and once a month.
Our daily activities are as follows: When the lunch bell rings, we happily come forth for a fun time! We have our little audience, that like to throw pieces of chicken and carrots and maybe even some drinks at us, just for the sake of it. The only things we do is run around, screaming quite loudly, cause lots of attention, despair, chaos, and most of all fun. Without fun, we wouldn't exist, and without us our audience wouldn't be able to throw their food scraps at us. We are also part of the circle of mafias as well! I found the Italian Mafia, which now belongs to my dearest friend Diana. She is also head of the Sicilian Mafia and the French Mafia. I am head of the German Mafia, the Spanish Mafia, the British Mafia, and the Greek Mafia (kindly given to me by Diana). The rest of the people (excluding Grace, who is part of Diana's mafias and mine) are part of the Mozambican Mafia. Alas, I almost forgot! Sean is the Iceland Mafia, which likes to attack me with flying pink monkeys, and Gary is the Irish Mafia, which I don't like because he thinks he's better than my British Mafia (quite uncertain). As part of any of these mafias, you will kindly wear these messages: We aim to please, we arrange funerals for your friends, and we kill for your will.
To end this madness, I shall post a funny conversation I had with my dear friend Tyler, who resides in Washington (I like to call him Washington Apple.although he doesn't know this): T8y8: Are you well?
CykoKatz24: DADDY!!!!
CykoKatz24: you hate me, brother!
CykoKatz24: we're breaking up, I can't stand you anymore, Tyler!!
T8y8: I don't hate you
T8y8: ok
T8y8: I can accept that
CykoKatz24: I love you!!! NO!! yes!!! NO!!!
CykoKatz24: STOP IT STOP IT YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!!
CykoKatz24: *screams*
T8y8: ARE YOU OK???????????
CykoKatz24: *sips sulfur tea* oh yeah *shivers*
T8y8: ok
T8y8: Good
CykoKatz24: *screams* what am I drinking????
CykoKatz24: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
CykoKatz24: *faints*
T8y8: now lie down on the couch and tell me what the problem began
CykoKatz24:
T8y8: *Grabs a bucket labeled 'in case of fainted patient*
T8y8: *throws cold water on Monica*
CykoKatz24: on floor?
CykoKatz24: *opens eyes as wide as able*
CykoKatz24: *floats*
CykoKatz24: *screams like banshee* I AM POSSESED BY THE DEVIL!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
T8y8: ok
T8y8: Hypnosis
CykoKatz24: *turns to attack him*
CykoKatz24: *turns
CykoKatz24: *grabs neck*
CykoKatz24: *chokes*
T8y8: *swings pocket watch*
T8y8: You are getting sleepy
CykoKatz24: oohhh SHINY!!!
CykoKatz24: *grabs it*
T8y8: VERY sleepy!!!!!!
CykoKatz24: *pulls*
T8y8: NOW FALL ASLEEP!!!!!!!
CykoKatz24: *MINE!!!!!!*
CykoKatz24: *pulls clock*
T8y8: ASLEEP!!!
T8y8: ASLEEP!
T8y8: ASLEEP!! GOTO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CykoKatz24: MINE!!!!
CykoKatz24: MINE!!!!
T8y8: You are falling into a deep trance
T8y8: a very deep trace
CykoKatz24: MY WATCH
T8y8: you are becoming more relaxed
CykoKatz24: NO!!!
CykoKatz24: MY WATCH!!!
T8y8: There are weights tied to your eyes
T8y8: you cannot keep them open
CykoKatz24: *eyes widen*
T8y8: you are VERY relaxed
T8y8: you are so relaxed you are in a trance
CykoKatz24: *grabs his hair*
CykoKatz24: GIMME WATCH!!!
T8y8: Ok you can have it
CykoKatz24: YAY!!
CykoKatz24: *grabs it and stares at it, laughing*
CykoKatz24: shiny.....shiny.....shiny...oooohhhh...shiny.....
T8y8: ok
CykoKatz24: shiny........
CykoKatz24: *looks up*
T8y8: yes shiny
CykoKatz24: *eyes turn red*
T8y8: shiny
CykoKatz24: *shows fangs*
CykoKatz24: *jerks arm*
CykoKatz24: *grabs your leg and stays there*
CykoKatz24: ahhhh I have to go hell is calling me!!!!
T8y8: You need an actually trained psychologist
T8y8: guy person
CykoKatz24: *goes out of room screaming* BYE TYLER!!!! hahahahahaha