A.N.-Well this is my first fanfiction. Wow. Anyway, all the legal B.S.-I own nothing *cries* Feel free to flame or praise. Your choice kids. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
Brian takes another swig off the almost empty vodka bottle. Its been nearly two weeks since it all came to a crashing hault-- still rembering the blood covering his hands. He looks down to see if it is still there. It wasnt, but he felt it. He hasnt seen anyone for days. After Michael decided to leave for Portland with Dr. Dave, Brian shut himself away and hasnt been out since. Well he literally went out, you do have to restock your supply sometime, but only then did he leave. This all seemed too much for Brian, Justin in the hospital- not even consious, Michael two thousand miles away in Portland, his father dying of Cancer, all this emotion did not bode well with Brian. He couldnt handle it. When Brian Kinney doesnt want to think, he doesnt. Liquor and Drug made that alot more easy.
There were 25 messeges on Brians answering machine, presumably all from Michael. Who else cared enough to call him? Family wasnt family, friends certainly were not friends. He was all alone. Just as he was about to take some more sleeping pills the shrill sadness of the phone cut through his mind, interrupring the dream he had created.
"Brian! Its Michael, please pick up, something horrible happened, please Brian pick up. David's dead..." Brian heard Michael choke back a sob and almost picked up the phone, "BRIAN!," he screamed, "please pick up, well Im gonna be back in town in a few days, please call. I miss you, bye."
As the answering machine finally clicked off, Brian threw his head back and downed the three sleeping pills he had in his hand. He didnt want another thing to deal with.
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"So has anyone heard from Mr. Kinney?" Deb asked.
"No, noones heard from him since Michael left," ted annouced "and truthfully, who really cares? Hes a horrible person, he hasnt came to see Justin once, hes probly getting his cock sucked in the back of Babylon."
"Teddy dont say that, he cares, Im sure, he just has a hard time of showing it."
"Emmett dont try and defend him, hes a cold, heartless bastard who doesnt care about anyone but himself." Ted said.
"Well Michael comes back tommrow, mabye he can try and get ahold of Brian."
"Hell no, my poor boy already has enough to deal with, his boy dying and all, he doesnt need Brian messing with his mind and making him feel worse." Deb shouted angrily.
"Dont worry Deb, Brian can get over himself, by himself. He has made it clear he doesnt want our help with anything." Ted thought aloud..
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There was a loud pounding on the door. Brian pushed himself out of his bed and answered it, hoping it would make the pounding stop. When he pulled open the door, he suddenly wish he hadnt done so. Standing there was a teary eyed Michael.
"Brian where the hell have you been, why havent you returned my phone calls, what is your problem?!"
All Brian could do was shrug his shoulders and walk back to his bed, stopping to get some more sleeping pills on his way. Brian like sleeping. It provided him with an escape, a place to go where this pain and hurt didnt exsist, and he liked it. As Michael ranted Brian became aware that he really couldnt understand what Michael was saying, it were as if he was still in his dreams. He was brought out of his dream by a hand connecting with his face. As he dully looked up he saw Michael standing above him, bright red, and very mad.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Brian!"
"What?" Brian asked as his voice cracked. He idly though about when the last time he spoke was.
"I said what is wrong with you? You've shut everyone out, when is the last time you left your loft?"
All Brian could do was shrug.
"You're an asshole" Michael said whilst walking to the door. He would normaly have tried to help Brian out, but Michael already had enough to deal with. Between Dave dying and Justin in the hospital still in a coma, Michael was at his wits end. As he slamed the door, he thought back to all the time when Brian got like this, then it occured to him that Brian has never been like this. Brian never got this down, but Michael just didnt have it in him anymore to try and help.
Back in the loft, Brian felt his head spinning. This was new. Brian suddenly stood up and ran to the bathroom. After he threw up, Brian looked at himself in the mirrior and was disturbed to relize he didnt care what he looked like. He wanted to go back to his world. The one where this blackness didnt exsist. He couldnt go though. No matter how hard he tried to sleep he couldnt. He also need to go to the store. Sighing loudly, Brian got in the shower and changed.
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"Oh look who it is, the infamous Brian Kinney." Deb sarcastically announced for the entier Liberty Diner.
"black coffee to go please." Brian said quietly.
"Speak up now Mr. Kinney, who knows when we will hear that voice again."
Brian looked blankly at Deb. No smart mouthed comment, no witty retort. Just a stare.
"Brian, sweetie, you OK?"
"Coffee, black." was all he said.
"Well for not seeing any of us in two weeks you sure dont have alot to say."
"You're right, I dont, now can I have my fucking coffee or not?"
"No you cant till you explain where you have been"
"Where Ive been is frankly none of your fucking business Debbie."
"Dont you speak to me like that Mr. Kinney.!"
"Whatever, fuck the coffee, Im out of here."
"Brian! Dont speak to Deb like that, she just wanted to know where you've been"
"Mind your own fucking business Emmett!" Brian shouted.
"Brian, calm down, your making a scene!" Ted admonished.
"I dont care, fuck you, fuck all of this!" Brian walked out of the diner and onto the street. He needed to forget this.
"Where are you going?"
"Ugh, Michael, piss off"
"Brian whats going on with you, I was only gone for two weeks and you have completely changed!"
"It doesnt matter Mickey, it doesnt matter."
And with that Brian walked off, he was tired already. He could go home and go back into his own world. He could do all that after he stopped and got some supplies for the week. After this night, Brian wasnt leaving the house for a long long time. Brian pulled his jacket tighter around himself and quickly walked down the street.
Well thats chapter one. I plan to have chapter two up tommrow. I dont have a beta or anything, and my spelling and grammar are crap, but I will try and make it readable.
Brian takes another swig off the almost empty vodka bottle. Its been nearly two weeks since it all came to a crashing hault-- still rembering the blood covering his hands. He looks down to see if it is still there. It wasnt, but he felt it. He hasnt seen anyone for days. After Michael decided to leave for Portland with Dr. Dave, Brian shut himself away and hasnt been out since. Well he literally went out, you do have to restock your supply sometime, but only then did he leave. This all seemed too much for Brian, Justin in the hospital- not even consious, Michael two thousand miles away in Portland, his father dying of Cancer, all this emotion did not bode well with Brian. He couldnt handle it. When Brian Kinney doesnt want to think, he doesnt. Liquor and Drug made that alot more easy.
There were 25 messeges on Brians answering machine, presumably all from Michael. Who else cared enough to call him? Family wasnt family, friends certainly were not friends. He was all alone. Just as he was about to take some more sleeping pills the shrill sadness of the phone cut through his mind, interrupring the dream he had created.
"Brian! Its Michael, please pick up, something horrible happened, please Brian pick up. David's dead..." Brian heard Michael choke back a sob and almost picked up the phone, "BRIAN!," he screamed, "please pick up, well Im gonna be back in town in a few days, please call. I miss you, bye."
As the answering machine finally clicked off, Brian threw his head back and downed the three sleeping pills he had in his hand. He didnt want another thing to deal with.
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"So has anyone heard from Mr. Kinney?" Deb asked.
"No, noones heard from him since Michael left," ted annouced "and truthfully, who really cares? Hes a horrible person, he hasnt came to see Justin once, hes probly getting his cock sucked in the back of Babylon."
"Teddy dont say that, he cares, Im sure, he just has a hard time of showing it."
"Emmett dont try and defend him, hes a cold, heartless bastard who doesnt care about anyone but himself." Ted said.
"Well Michael comes back tommrow, mabye he can try and get ahold of Brian."
"Hell no, my poor boy already has enough to deal with, his boy dying and all, he doesnt need Brian messing with his mind and making him feel worse." Deb shouted angrily.
"Dont worry Deb, Brian can get over himself, by himself. He has made it clear he doesnt want our help with anything." Ted thought aloud..
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There was a loud pounding on the door. Brian pushed himself out of his bed and answered it, hoping it would make the pounding stop. When he pulled open the door, he suddenly wish he hadnt done so. Standing there was a teary eyed Michael.
"Brian where the hell have you been, why havent you returned my phone calls, what is your problem?!"
All Brian could do was shrug his shoulders and walk back to his bed, stopping to get some more sleeping pills on his way. Brian like sleeping. It provided him with an escape, a place to go where this pain and hurt didnt exsist, and he liked it. As Michael ranted Brian became aware that he really couldnt understand what Michael was saying, it were as if he was still in his dreams. He was brought out of his dream by a hand connecting with his face. As he dully looked up he saw Michael standing above him, bright red, and very mad.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Brian!"
"What?" Brian asked as his voice cracked. He idly though about when the last time he spoke was.
"I said what is wrong with you? You've shut everyone out, when is the last time you left your loft?"
All Brian could do was shrug.
"You're an asshole" Michael said whilst walking to the door. He would normaly have tried to help Brian out, but Michael already had enough to deal with. Between Dave dying and Justin in the hospital still in a coma, Michael was at his wits end. As he slamed the door, he thought back to all the time when Brian got like this, then it occured to him that Brian has never been like this. Brian never got this down, but Michael just didnt have it in him anymore to try and help.
Back in the loft, Brian felt his head spinning. This was new. Brian suddenly stood up and ran to the bathroom. After he threw up, Brian looked at himself in the mirrior and was disturbed to relize he didnt care what he looked like. He wanted to go back to his world. The one where this blackness didnt exsist. He couldnt go though. No matter how hard he tried to sleep he couldnt. He also need to go to the store. Sighing loudly, Brian got in the shower and changed.
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"Oh look who it is, the infamous Brian Kinney." Deb sarcastically announced for the entier Liberty Diner.
"black coffee to go please." Brian said quietly.
"Speak up now Mr. Kinney, who knows when we will hear that voice again."
Brian looked blankly at Deb. No smart mouthed comment, no witty retort. Just a stare.
"Brian, sweetie, you OK?"
"Coffee, black." was all he said.
"Well for not seeing any of us in two weeks you sure dont have alot to say."
"You're right, I dont, now can I have my fucking coffee or not?"
"No you cant till you explain where you have been"
"Where Ive been is frankly none of your fucking business Debbie."
"Dont you speak to me like that Mr. Kinney.!"
"Whatever, fuck the coffee, Im out of here."
"Brian! Dont speak to Deb like that, she just wanted to know where you've been"
"Mind your own fucking business Emmett!" Brian shouted.
"Brian, calm down, your making a scene!" Ted admonished.
"I dont care, fuck you, fuck all of this!" Brian walked out of the diner and onto the street. He needed to forget this.
"Where are you going?"
"Ugh, Michael, piss off"
"Brian whats going on with you, I was only gone for two weeks and you have completely changed!"
"It doesnt matter Mickey, it doesnt matter."
And with that Brian walked off, he was tired already. He could go home and go back into his own world. He could do all that after he stopped and got some supplies for the week. After this night, Brian wasnt leaving the house for a long long time. Brian pulled his jacket tighter around himself and quickly walked down the street.
Well thats chapter one. I plan to have chapter two up tommrow. I dont have a beta or anything, and my spelling and grammar are crap, but I will try and make it readable.