Horribly, horrible terror on Hyrule
A/n: We dun own Zelda!
Chapter 12: Salt for the Ghandi
Ingo: DIE!
Navi: NO!
Ingo: YES!
Navi: Don't make me say, HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!
Ingo: AHHHHH! (Runs away)
Navi: Whew...
Malon: Sorry, but you can't have Epona then.
Link: Darn... (Walks away)
Navi: Wait for me!
Link: I'm not happy!
Navi: Why don't I make a sound of a horse?
Link: Ok...
Navi: (Grabs two halves of coconut and make it sound like hoofbeats)
(Dead Sea)
Link: LOOK! A guard!
Lakitu: Who goes there?
Link: Link, hero who will save hyrule.
Lakitu: Who's the other one?
Link: That's Navi, a fairy. We have ridden the lengths and breadths of the land in search of medallions. I must speak with you're lord and master.
Lakitu: What? Ridden on horse?
Link: YES!
Lakitu: You're using ummmmm... oranges! Wait, coconuts!
Link: What?
Lakitu: You've got two half empty coconuts and you're bangin' them together!
Link: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. Through the kingdom of Mercia, through.
Lakitu: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Link: I dunno. It found them.
Navi: HEY!
Lakitu: Found them? In Mercia the coconuts are tropical!
Link: What do you mean?
Lakitu: Well, this is a temperate zone!
Link: A swallow may fly south for the sun, or the house martin or the flubber seek warmer climbs in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Lakitu: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Link: Not at all, they could be carried.
Lakitu: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Link: It could grip it by the husk...
Lakitu: It's not a question of where it grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios! A 5 oz. bird could not carry a 1 lbs. coconut!
Link: Well it doesn't matter! Will you let me go through these gates so I could meet your boss!
Lakitu: Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
Link: PLEASE!
Lakitu: Am I right?
Link: SHUT UP!
(Scientist walks up)
Scientist: It could be carried by an African swallow.
Lakitu: Oh yes! An African swallows maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
Scientist: Oh yeah, I agree with that!
Link: ASK YOUR BOSS IF I CAN GO THROUGH!
Lakitu: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.
Scientist: Ah, Yeah.
(Link and Navi walk away)
Lakitu: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
Scientist: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together!
Lakitu: No.... they'd have to have it on a line.
Scientist: No! Simple! They'd just use a strand of tree bark!
Lakitu: What? Hold it under the dorsal guiding feather?
Scientist: Well, why not?
Lakitu: Uhhhh..... Got me there.
(Meanwhile...)
Link: Throw these coconuts away!
Navi: Fine.
Link: This place looks abnormally dry.
Navi: Of course! It's dead Sea!
Link: What ever.
(They spot Ghandi)
Link: Yo.
Ghandi: (Indian language) One does not speak such word.
Link: What?
Ghandi: What do you seek from me and the Salt March?
Link: Uhhhhh... Open that temple?
Ghandi: Never you speak about temple of the Islam.
Link: Uhhhhh... It's water.
Ghandi: Must you be one of these European trying to stop me.
Link: What's a European?
Ghandi: Don't question things you can't explain.
Link: Ok, dude-
Ghandi: One does not know that word.
Link: OK!
(Walks away)
Link: Let's see...
Shiek: Ow, shit.
Link: OY!
Shiek: RUN!
(Runs away)
Link: Oh no you don't!
Shiek: Please! Have mercy! I only wanted salt!
Link: Tell me where to go under that temple!
Shiek: I'll warp you there! Have Mercy! Have Mercy!
(Water Temple)
Link: I'll go to random door!
(Finds Ruto)
Link: I thought you were dead.
Ruto: No, I fainted!
Link: Oh...
Ruto: You got mom's precious!
Link: This? (Holds Zora's Sapphire)
Ruto: YEAH!
Link: But your father gave to me!
Ruto: You really think that fatso is MY father?
Link: Yeah?
Ruto: Well, still, it's MINE!
Link: Fine, then. (Throws it to Ruto and smashes into her head) I think I REALLY killed her now.
(Finds a random door)
Dark Link: None shall pass.
Link: What?
Dark Link: None shall pass.
Link: I have no quarrel with you, but I must cross this corridor!
Dark Link: I move, for no man.
Link: SO BE IT!
(Link and Dark Link unsheathes his sword)
Link: Hiya! (Chops Dark Link's arm off)
Link: Stand aside!
Dark Link: NO! This is nothing but a scratch!
Link: WHAT!
Dark Link: I had worse! Now come on!
Link: Grrr...(Chops other one off) Good fight, but you can't beat me!
(Dark Link kicks Link)
Link: OW!
Dark Link: COME ON!
Link: O.O;;
Dark Link: Had enough?
Link: But both of your arms off!
Dark Link: Yes, I do!
Link: LOOK!
Dark Link: It's just a cut!
Link: ;chops off one leg;
Dark Link: I'll do you for that!
Link: What? Bleed on me?
Dark Link: No, I'll kill you!
Link: Grrrrr... (Chops off other leg)
Link: Ok. I'll leave you like this. (Walks away)
Dark Link: Come on, WUSS! BASTARD! RUNNING AWAY? COME HERE AND I'LL BITE YOU TO HELL! WUSSES!
Link: That guy is on MY NERVE!
Navi: Funny. I though I was.
Link: ;throws Navi to Dark Link;
Navi: Mamamia! (Runs like an ant)
Dark Link: I'll ;chomp; get ;chomp; you!
Link: Ahhhhhh...
(Boss' Room)
Link: Come here and fight like a man, wussy! You can't beat me!
Morpha: DIE!
Link: Huh? It's just a Euglena! What could it possibly do?
(Throws him like hell)
Link: Ohhh... Pain... Truce! Truce!
Morpha: I like truce. So it's a deal!
Navi: I'LL SAVE YOU LINK! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!
Morpha: Ehhhhh.... (Dies)
(Ghandi rushes in)
Ghandi: WHAT IN THE F*** DID YOU DO? DID YOU KILL THE GOD MORPHA?
Navi: CRAP!
Ghandi: DIE!
POLLS
Have you seen Eight Legged Freaks?
YES!
Nope.
I LOVE IT!
I HATE IT!
I don't care.
Do you think I'm crazy?
YEAH! You're the most craziest person I know!
No, I saw someone crazier than you.
I don't give a damn.
A/n: We dun own Zelda!
Chapter 12: Salt for the Ghandi
Ingo: DIE!
Navi: NO!
Ingo: YES!
Navi: Don't make me say, HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!
Ingo: AHHHHH! (Runs away)
Navi: Whew...
Malon: Sorry, but you can't have Epona then.
Link: Darn... (Walks away)
Navi: Wait for me!
Link: I'm not happy!
Navi: Why don't I make a sound of a horse?
Link: Ok...
Navi: (Grabs two halves of coconut and make it sound like hoofbeats)
(Dead Sea)
Link: LOOK! A guard!
Lakitu: Who goes there?
Link: Link, hero who will save hyrule.
Lakitu: Who's the other one?
Link: That's Navi, a fairy. We have ridden the lengths and breadths of the land in search of medallions. I must speak with you're lord and master.
Lakitu: What? Ridden on horse?
Link: YES!
Lakitu: You're using ummmmm... oranges! Wait, coconuts!
Link: What?
Lakitu: You've got two half empty coconuts and you're bangin' them together!
Link: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land. Through the kingdom of Mercia, through.
Lakitu: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Link: I dunno. It found them.
Navi: HEY!
Lakitu: Found them? In Mercia the coconuts are tropical!
Link: What do you mean?
Lakitu: Well, this is a temperate zone!
Link: A swallow may fly south for the sun, or the house martin or the flubber seek warmer climbs in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Lakitu: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Link: Not at all, they could be carried.
Lakitu: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Link: It could grip it by the husk...
Lakitu: It's not a question of where it grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios! A 5 oz. bird could not carry a 1 lbs. coconut!
Link: Well it doesn't matter! Will you let me go through these gates so I could meet your boss!
Lakitu: Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
Link: PLEASE!
Lakitu: Am I right?
Link: SHUT UP!
(Scientist walks up)
Scientist: It could be carried by an African swallow.
Lakitu: Oh yes! An African swallows maybe, but not a European swallow, that's my point.
Scientist: Oh yeah, I agree with that!
Link: ASK YOUR BOSS IF I CAN GO THROUGH!
Lakitu: But then of course, African swallows are non-migratory.
Scientist: Ah, Yeah.
(Link and Navi walk away)
Lakitu: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway.
Scientist: Wait a minute! Supposing two swallows carried it together!
Lakitu: No.... they'd have to have it on a line.
Scientist: No! Simple! They'd just use a strand of tree bark!
Lakitu: What? Hold it under the dorsal guiding feather?
Scientist: Well, why not?
Lakitu: Uhhhh..... Got me there.
(Meanwhile...)
Link: Throw these coconuts away!
Navi: Fine.
Link: This place looks abnormally dry.
Navi: Of course! It's dead Sea!
Link: What ever.
(They spot Ghandi)
Link: Yo.
Ghandi: (Indian language) One does not speak such word.
Link: What?
Ghandi: What do you seek from me and the Salt March?
Link: Uhhhhh... Open that temple?
Ghandi: Never you speak about temple of the Islam.
Link: Uhhhhh... It's water.
Ghandi: Must you be one of these European trying to stop me.
Link: What's a European?
Ghandi: Don't question things you can't explain.
Link: Ok, dude-
Ghandi: One does not know that word.
Link: OK!
(Walks away)
Link: Let's see...
Shiek: Ow, shit.
Link: OY!
Shiek: RUN!
(Runs away)
Link: Oh no you don't!
Shiek: Please! Have mercy! I only wanted salt!
Link: Tell me where to go under that temple!
Shiek: I'll warp you there! Have Mercy! Have Mercy!
(Water Temple)
Link: I'll go to random door!
(Finds Ruto)
Link: I thought you were dead.
Ruto: No, I fainted!
Link: Oh...
Ruto: You got mom's precious!
Link: This? (Holds Zora's Sapphire)
Ruto: YEAH!
Link: But your father gave to me!
Ruto: You really think that fatso is MY father?
Link: Yeah?
Ruto: Well, still, it's MINE!
Link: Fine, then. (Throws it to Ruto and smashes into her head) I think I REALLY killed her now.
(Finds a random door)
Dark Link: None shall pass.
Link: What?
Dark Link: None shall pass.
Link: I have no quarrel with you, but I must cross this corridor!
Dark Link: I move, for no man.
Link: SO BE IT!
(Link and Dark Link unsheathes his sword)
Link: Hiya! (Chops Dark Link's arm off)
Link: Stand aside!
Dark Link: NO! This is nothing but a scratch!
Link: WHAT!
Dark Link: I had worse! Now come on!
Link: Grrr...(Chops other one off) Good fight, but you can't beat me!
(Dark Link kicks Link)
Link: OW!
Dark Link: COME ON!
Link: O.O;;
Dark Link: Had enough?
Link: But both of your arms off!
Dark Link: Yes, I do!
Link: LOOK!
Dark Link: It's just a cut!
Link: ;chops off one leg;
Dark Link: I'll do you for that!
Link: What? Bleed on me?
Dark Link: No, I'll kill you!
Link: Grrrrr... (Chops off other leg)
Link: Ok. I'll leave you like this. (Walks away)
Dark Link: Come on, WUSS! BASTARD! RUNNING AWAY? COME HERE AND I'LL BITE YOU TO HELL! WUSSES!
Link: That guy is on MY NERVE!
Navi: Funny. I though I was.
Link: ;throws Navi to Dark Link;
Navi: Mamamia! (Runs like an ant)
Dark Link: I'll ;chomp; get ;chomp; you!
Link: Ahhhhhh...
(Boss' Room)
Link: Come here and fight like a man, wussy! You can't beat me!
Morpha: DIE!
Link: Huh? It's just a Euglena! What could it possibly do?
(Throws him like hell)
Link: Ohhh... Pain... Truce! Truce!
Morpha: I like truce. So it's a deal!
Navi: I'LL SAVE YOU LINK! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!
Morpha: Ehhhhh.... (Dies)
(Ghandi rushes in)
Ghandi: WHAT IN THE F*** DID YOU DO? DID YOU KILL THE GOD MORPHA?
Navi: CRAP!
Ghandi: DIE!
POLLS
Have you seen Eight Legged Freaks?
YES!
Nope.
I LOVE IT!
I HATE IT!
I don't care.
Do you think I'm crazy?
YEAH! You're the most craziest person I know!
No, I saw someone crazier than you.
I don't give a damn.