Title: His Smile
Author: nikki (nikkichan0829@yahoo.com)
Warning: YAOI, nothing graphic.
Disclaimer: Don't own Hunter x Hunter.
Author's notes: As I said in the warning, it's not graphic. Just fluff. If ever the "wife" (she knows who she is) sees this, this fic doesn't have Dancho in it (except for being mentioned in passing without any pairing for him at all). So that's a clue to everyone else too. For the pairing of this fic of course. This is the first time I actually made a fic with this pairing. Surprised myself too.^^;
The ones in italics is the POV of the other character.
~His Smile~
I look at my companion and sigh. He's so quiet. Too quiet. This date just isn't working out the way I planned. I mean, I took him to a small restaurant, got the movie tickets and the transportation (both stolen, of course) and even went as far as to use the over-used walk in the park routine!
What else could I have possibly missed?
We're seated on a bench in the more secluded part of the park... Uh oh. He's thrumming his fingers on the bench now. Is this date really that boring? I wonder what is wrong. I wish he'd tell me. His silence is unnerving.
We've known each other for years now. I don't think that would stop him from voicing out his opinions.
I mean, come on! If I were someone else, he's probably wring my neck with his bare hands... Scratch that. He'd torture me first, THEN, wring my neck.
He's cute when he's being such a little sadist. I wonder what his reaction would be if I tell him that. At the moment, I'm entertaining that notion. I'd do anything to get a reaction from him. (But I'm hoping for more of a smile, although that's wishful thinking on my part.) They come so rare for him especially when we're on a mission with Dancho. It's because of that damnable mask, of course!
Thank goodness for small favors that he's not wearing it right now. I could see his face clearly under the moonlight. Actually, he's not wearing his usual attire, just your ordinary casual wear: a plain shirt, jeans and sneakers. Makes him look younger despite the fact that he already looks too young for his age.
How long have I actually felt this way? For as long time now. We've always been together. He's always there when I need him and hopefully it's the same thing with him. Most people think he's just a cold-hearted sadist but sometimes, when you're not looking hard enough, you actually get a glimpse of another side of him, the side of him that actually has warmth.
I open my mouth to say something but the words just won't come out. I don't know how to say what I want him to know. I shut my mouth and look away. He looks just too... good. He's a temptation that's hard to resist. He makes me want to kiss him.
He sighs. Then he stands up. He puts his hands in his pockets.
"Baka."
Then he walks away, leaving me alone on the bench, staring at his back.
~~~~
By the time I got back to the apartment I'm staying at. (Literally threw the occupants into the garbage bin a few miles out of town.) I walk in to see him seated on the couch in the living room.
He had changed. He was wearing an oversized shirt and a pair of shorts. The shirt was slipping down to one side, exposing a shoulder. Those lean legs... Oh gods...
This is too much for me to take. How could I forget? We're staying here together. Just my luck...
He stares at me and I stare back. Only silence between us except for the television. I'm the first one to break away.
I trudge into my room. (It's a good thing we don't sleep in the same room.) I can still feel his eyes burning into my back as I close the door. My face feels too hot. Am I actually blushing?
I walk toward the mirror and stare at my face. Man, I look like a ripe tomato. Something else for him to look down on me for.
He's probably laughing at me as I think.
~~~~
I know I shouldn't be doing this. I mean, I'm not the type to go around sneaking into people's bedrooms and watch them as they sleep... Okay, okay, so I am. Sue me.
I sigh quietly as I recall outing he planned for us. Well, I guess I just didn't know what to say. I barely looked at him at all. How could I when all I could think of was kissing him?
At the park, he was about to say something. I guess I panicked, which is way out of character even for me. I tried to cover it up by calling him stupid with my usual tone of voice.
But the look on his face...
It actually made me feel guilty. Well, I shouldn't be when I kill people on a regular basis. Not just kill, I torture them when I can.
How long have I been actually delaying this? His confession... It would ultimately lead to mine. And for once, I'm actually scared to death.
It started out with just pretending not to know, pretending to be oblivious to it all. Then I deliberately misinterpreted him or completely ignoring the obvious. Lastly, I would just do anything to stop him from saying anything too serious.
I know I can't keep this up forever. I know what I feel. But I don't know what to say. I don't want to disappoint.
I'm startled out of my thoughts when he suddenly snores and turns over. I smile. It seems strange to see him sleeping like this. He seems so innocent. Who doesn't? Oh yeah, Nobunaga wouldn't look innocent even if he was innocent.
"Why is it so hard to tell you how I feel?" I whisper, more to myself than him.
I give off another sigh and walk out of his room. I need some fresh air. I've been thinking too much. I'm too stressed out to bother changing my clothes to go out. The balcony will do.
I open the balcony door and step outside, letting the wind weave through me. It's relaxing.
I let my guard down so much that I never noticed that there was someone else behind me until... he wrapped his arms around me.
~~~~
I feel another presence in the room. It's him. What is he doing here?
I have to pretend to be still asleep. He can't know that I'm awake. I open my eyes, enough to make him think that I'm still asleep and enough for me to see him.
Wow... he just looks so wonderful, sitting on that chair... Is he staring at me? Why?
There's something in the way he looks that's different. It's his eyes... They're not narrowed down with only cold indifference in their icy depths like they usually are. There's traces of sadness, longing and something else I can't identify.
I pretend to snore... loudly and shift to a better position to look at him. A small smile tugs at his lips. I wonder what he's thinking right now to make him smile like that. But all too soon, the smile disappears and the sadness and longing in his eyes return.
"Why is it so hard to tell you how I feel?" he whispers. My heart skips a beat.
He sighs and leaves the room. I stare at his retreating back, mulling over what I just heard. Could it be possible that he... feels the same way too?
I get up from the bed, hearing the balcony door slide open. I walk out of the room, padding softly toward the balcony.
I pause by the balcony door, watching the peaceful expression on his face. His eyes are closed, the wind blowing through his hair, his lips curved into a slight smile... It was breathtaking.
I want to wrap my arms around him. His guard is down. Do I dare? I smile to myself.
I do.
I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around his slight form, uncaring that he might beat me to a pulp later on.
He tenses in my arms for a moment then surprisingly, he relaxes and leans into me.
"I love you, Feitan," I whisper.
He raises his hands and places them lightly on my arms. "I know," he whispers back.
He pulls out of my arms and smiles at me. My heart skips a few more beats than when he thought I was asleep. His smile is just... so beautiful. He grasps one of hands and gently kisses my palm.
"I feel the same way about you too."
~~~~
A FEW MONTHS LATER
Feitan sat on one of the fallen pillars outside their current hideout in York Shin. Ubo was loud as always. It never ceased to amaze him how painful a migraine you can get from the big guy.
Dancho was reading a book. Probably a new one. Hisoka was sitting in a corner alone. He never really understood why Dancho accepted the clown.
He looked up. The moon was already high up in the sky. The stars sparkled with life. In a way, it was peaceful despite Ubo. Not that he didn't like the guy. Hearing his voice was a reassurance of some sort that everything was fine. But too much of it was a pain.
He closed his eyes and sighed. "Phinx."
Phinx didn't say anything as he approached Feitan. Instead, he sat down next to him. He tugged the mask down to take a good look at him. It's been months since they last saw each other.
Feitan didn't protest to Phinx's actions. Taking one of the smaller hands into his, Phinx gently squeezed it.
It was a way of saying, "Don't worry. I'll be right here."
Feitan didn't resist the smile that graced his lips as he squeezed back.
//Arigato, I love you, too.//
Phinx smiled back. Maybe sometimes, silence isn't so bad when he's smiling like that.
~OWARI~
Author's notes: Err... Do they seem OOC to you? Oh well. This is my first time to write with this pairing. It's actually very, very, VERY rare to see this pairing. Surprisingly, it took me about an hour and a half to finish this. Started at 9:30 p.m. and ended at 11:00 p.m. of May 22, 2003. Anyway, I hope you guys liked it. Please review.
If you guys are looking for a good hxh fic, try KosagiNoLegion's "Amusing Interlude", lynlyn's "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken" or Cherrie's fics to name a few.^^;