I'm sorry for tha lack of updates, but it took me a bit to get it done, then I sent it to m beta reader, who bless her soul was in summer courses. Then her laptop messed up, and she couldn't find the disk with the chapter on it. When she finally found it and got it back to me, I couldn't post it HTML, and trust me, this chapter has parts that will lose you if you can't tell what parts are thoughts. Like I said before, my dad was in the process of "updating" (aka "screwing up") all the computeres and deleted the only program I had that would save HTML..the reasons (all true BTW) go on for a while more, but I'll stop and let you read the story. Please forgive me? This chapter is really long.
As for "The Worst" story, read comments that I posted in the review part. Again, I'm sorry if it offended anyone (It really shouldn't have, all of you who write in this section are wonderful writers and I love you and your work to death {especially if you review mine *hint, hint*}!)
As always, I love on my wonderful reviewers, thank you for your imput, and an extra big hug and thanks to Brasenia for beta reading for me!
Disclaimer: Nita, Ronan, and Kit belong to the the wonderful and brilliant Diane Duane. Lexi and Peter are mine, all mine! *chuckles evily while the pair look terrified* All poetry, unless otherwise stated is mine, and is only temporarily loaned to Peter. *Peter pouts* Stop that, it was my muse, not yours...
~*~
Lexi looked up guiltily. She had been tuned out, thinking of the man who claimed to be her father again.
"I take it from that look that you were drifted off. Sure you don't want to talk about it?"
She sighed, "It's complicated."
"Give it a try," he suggested.
Lexi sighed again. "It's goes back to the long story of why I'm living with Nita."
"We have..." he checked his watch, "About an hour."
"Well..." Lexi started, "I suppose." She paused, closing her eyes, conjuring memories that she normally hid from the world, as well as things Nita had told her.
"My mother became pregnant with me when she was a teenager. Her father was a jerk, to put it bluntly. He thought my mother was getting too close to her boyfriend, so he got his job transferred. She responded by, well... doing what he feared was happening. In truth, they hadn't... done anything.... before he told my mother they were moving. After the moved, my mom found out she was pregnant. Since her father had told her he would disown her if she became pregnant as a teen, she didn't tell him. She hid her pregnancy from him for around seven months, using a family health center for medical purposes. Nita was good friends with her at this time. When my mother finally did tell her father she was pregnant with me, he threw her out like he had threatened. She then moved in with Nita and her parents.
"Shortly after I was born, my mother was in an accident, and was killed."
Peter made sounds of sympathy. "I'm sorry."
"Afterwards," Lexi continued, trying to choke back emotion, still raw even after all these years, "Nita convinced her father to let her raise me. Her mother died of brain cancer about the same time my mother died. Nita finished high school, and went to college. She majored in botany and does research and stuff on plant growth and disease at the Botanical Gardens. She a wizard when it comes to plants."
You don't know how close to the truth you are, thought Peter. Lexi continued,
"The only thing anyone will tell me about my father is that he left my mother as soon as he found out he had gotten my mother pregnant, and hadn't been heard from since. Until...
"I think I met him today."
"What?" asked Peter. "How would you know it was him?"
"Well, I was on my way to the bus stop, and suddanly, this man was right next to me and said just as suddanly, 'I'm your father.' I've been wondering all day whether, well, yeah."
What had Nita and Ronan said about anything or anyone suspicious? Peter pondered.
"What are you going to do?" he voiced.
"I don't know. I don't know what to do. That's the other thing I've been wondering all day. Nita doesn't exactly have fond feeling towards my father, nor do Ronan and Kit..."
"Kit?" asked Peter, mind searching for why that seemed important.
"Kit Rodriguez. Well, his real name's Christopher, but he goes by Kit."
Peter suddenly remembered why the name "Kit" struck a bell. He was the other half of the semi-famous duo.
"Anyway," Lexi got back on track, "Both of them don't like my father either. You are actually the only person I've told this to. Isn't that odd? Close friends I've had for years don't know most of the stuff I've said just now; yet while I've known you for years, we've never really talked, I mean, talked, until now."
"'Isn't it strange/That comfort lies/Not with in thine self/but in a stranger's eyes?'" Peter recited.
"What?" asked Lexi.
"It's from a poem I wrote once. It was called 'Solace'."
"Will you tell me the rest of it?" Lexi probed.
"I... I guess. If you want to hear it." He cleared his throat.
"Depression rages
In my soul.
No rescue in sight
From trouble my life may dole.
I can't do this,
Anymore all alone.
But not my problems,
I want sown.
A single person,
A kind word, a smile,
Lifts the spirit
For quite awhile.
Isn't it strange
That comfort lies
Not with in thine self
But in a stranger's eyes?
Solace is what I seek,
Solace I have found.
Though it was just a simple gesture,
Nothing very profound,
It gave me comfort.
Solace I have found."
Peter looked uncomfortable and awkward, like one does when cringing in anticipation for either praise or criticism, unsure which one will come.
"It really makes you think," Lexi finally said, thoughtful herself, "It was really good."
"It's not great. I've written much better." Peter said, then cringed, "I didn't mean for that to come out so... egotistical."
"No- it didn't," Lexi assured, "I'd like to hear more of your poetry."
"You would?" Peter smiled a little.
"Sure. It not only is good, but means so much more when you read it yourself and can get the emotions, and-oh." Lexi had glanced at her watch and discovered the time. "I have to get back for dinner. Another day?"
" I will count the seconds/Until we meet again/ Fair maiden of pale beauty./ The seconds will take an eternity/For me, however./ Each one, an hour./Each hour, a day/ Each day, and endless array of time./ Don't leave me stranded/ Waiting for all eternity./Come back, my fair maiden of pale beauty." Peter stopped and looked at Lexi, "It's from 'Fair Maiden'."
She laughed, and then teased him, "Just what fair maiden did you quote these lines to last? Who inspired such words? Who's heart's affections were you trifling with last?"
He looked worried, upset, and apologetic for about 15 second. Then he noticed the impish grin twitching at her lips, and played along, composing on the spot, "She was a beauty/Far more than thee/And, O! what a personality./ She radiates a loveliness/Far past what Aurora can offer./Unlike the flat, bland/Cardboard copies that pass/For feminine beauty today./ Unlike thee, when compared to the heavens/She doesn't pale in comparison,/ She out shines them all."
"That's not funny," said Lexi, though she was trying not to laugh.
"Yes, it is." Peter laughed, then said, "It was a little rough, 'cause I just made it up, but I think it parallels you and her quite well." Lexi could tell he had joined in her teasing, and added in an indignant voice as they reached her driveway for the second time that day,
"I'm a cardboard copy? If that is your opinion, mister, you can just march your little poetic crap butt out of here, and out of my life." she stormed up the driveway, feigning anger.
"I jest, my lady/ Just a jest/ Accept thy soul's confessions/Know thee not my love for thee?/ Wherefore art thou angry still?/ Hath it not cooled towards/ A simple spinner of words?/ Thou must understand the sorrow of thy heart/ that beatith in anguish in thy chest/ When it knowth that thee no longer loves thy?"
Lexi had paused at the doorway, and was now fighting laugher. Before she burst into hysterics, she called, "Good riddance, not-so-good sir, good riddance!" she threw open the door, swept inside, and slammed the door.
Nita and Ronan stood there, slightly in shock. Lexi wasn't she how much they had heard, and that only made her laugh harder.
"What's wrong?" Nita immediately asked.
"Nothing." Lexi said, through tears of laugher. "I'd better go 'bid fare-thee-well' to Peter." She opened the door and ran on her toes down the drive, where still Peter stood, laughing himself.
"Could you tell we're on a Shakespeare chapter in English?" Peter asked, gasping for breath from lack of oxygen due to laugher.
"I never would have guessed," she said dryly. "See you tomorrow?"
"As sure as the moon shines."
"'Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon.'" Lexi quoted. In response to Peter's look, she insisted, "I've read Shakespeare, too, you know."
He held up his hands in mock surrender. "I'll just leave with a simple, 'See you tomorrow.' then."
"That works." She waved, then returned to the house.
***
A soft knock on the door surprised both Nita and Ronan, who sat in the living room talking.
"Who could it be at this hour?" Nita wondered out loud after glancing at the clock to discover it was after eleven.
"I don't know." Ronan responded as the pair made their way to the door. Carefully Nita peered out the peephole.
"It's that wizard boy Lexi was with- Peter," she said, surprised.
"What could he want?" Ronan asked.
"Well, let's open the door and find out." Nita answered simply, undoing the locks.
"Sorry to disturb you." Peter said immediately. "But I needed to talk to you guys."
"Come in. What's the matter?" Nita gestured him in.
"Maybe nothing. Maybe something important. Lexi's not up still, is she?" Peter glanced around.
"Uh, no. She went to bed sometime ago. What's the matter?" Nita repeated.
"It's something that's happened to Lexi this morning. I feel kind of... odd telling you this. I don't make a habit out of breaking people's confidences, even when they don't swear me to secrecy.... However you mentioned some circumstances...." Peter was rambling slightly, teetering on the edge between tell/don't tell. He drew in a breath.
"What happened? Peter?" Nita eyes grew wide and worried.
"Nothing happened, really. More like... the possibility of something further happening..." Peter was still contemplating whether this was the right move.
"Spit it out all ready." Ronan demanded, concerned eyes looking at Nita.
"Lexi thinks she might have met her father."
***
Lexi was thirsty.
She had gone to bed nearly an hour ago. She was exhausted from a day of worry and wondering, but her mind refused sleep, and only led her on another circle of questions about the one who claimed to be her father.
She decided to get up and get a glass of water. She slid out of bed, and shuffled out her door and down the hallway towards the kitchen. She heard voices in the living room; evidently, Ronan was still there. Not wanting to disturb, she quietly slipped into the kitchen, filled a glass, and headed back to her room unnoticed.
"But, why, Nita? Why?" Ronan voice broke through. Lexi hurried up, resisting the urge to eavesdrop. This discussion was none of her business.
"I've told you why a thousand times, Ronan. Please," Nita begged, "leave it at that."
"I don't want a flimsy excuse again, Nita. I want a good reason. If you have one, I'll stop bothering you. But, Nita, we've been dating for 14 years. We've never had a major problem, not one we couldn't work out eventually. I love you." Ronan's voice was raw with emotion, "I'm fairly certain you love me, too. Why can't we get married?" Lexi had been silently walking towards her room, trying to block out the conversation, but this brought her to a dead stop. Marriage was her business, as it would affect her greatly.
Lexi liked Ronan, however, and didn't think she'd mind living with him. And Nita deserved something for herself, after all she'd done for Lexi. Say yes, Nita. Lexi mentally urged, say yes!
"I do love you Ronan, you know that. But marriage... why should we mess up what we already have? Why fix something not broken?"
"We may not be broken, but that don't mean we are complete," Ronan said quietly.
"But where would we live, for one? I can't move to Ireland, not only do I have my job, and don't want to yank Lexi out of her school and country, but you know I'm a Senior and not aloud to move."
A senior? wondered Lexi, A senior what?
"You could apply for reassignment," Ronan suggested.
"Some already don't like the idea of Kit and I being Seniors, much less my being Area Advisory, because of our age. I was very fortunate to get this position, and I can't throw it away."
Advisory for what? Lexi thought.
"Who says you have to be the one to move, anyway?" Ronan asked. "I can get a job transfer- even though most of my 'business visits' are put-ons, the actual business trips are frequent."
Why would he pretend to be on a business trip? The only reason Lexi could think of was if they were an excuse to see Nita more often without her thinking he was going to unnecessary expenses to see her, but if Nita knew....
"But you have your other work that you can't just abandon!"
What other work?
"But it's not like I'm a Senior, or anything! Shaun still has that duty. I'm only in the middle of one thing, and I'm sure that I can finish it by the time we plan a wedding. And I could always Transit over there to tie up loose ends."
Who's Shaun? And is "Transit" some Irish phrase like "commute" or "travel"? Lexi was getting a little confused.
"Ronan, please. Don't do this. I love you. You know I do... it's just.... I... I don't know. What about Lexi?"
Don't worry about me, Nita. I'm all for it. Lexi desperately thought. Come on, Nita, don't.
"What about Lexi?" Ronan asked, "She wouldn't have to move, if I moved here. And she likes me, I'm pretty sure. Of course, if we decided we are going to get married, we'd have to talk to her about it, and if she'd dead set against it,"
I'm not, I'm not!
"Then we'd have to reconsider. But, first, and now, it is your decision, and has nothing to with Lexi. You took her in when you were only a teenager and raised her. You based you life around her. You got a job at 15 so you could afford to send her to that reduced-rate day care at the high school. You worked extra hard in school to get scholarships and then balanced a job and college so you could support her. I know you had your parents' help, but you raised her basically on your own, especially after your mother's death. You've also expended enormous amounts of energy for protection."
As Lexi wondered, What the heck is that supposed to mean?, Ronan cut Nita off as she opened her mouth in protest.
"Now don't you even pretend that those haven't had a drastic affect on you. I know you, Nita. There were times you could barely pull yourself out of bed after doing a big protection spell. Kit's noticed them, too. You'd never let me or Kit help, either. We'd've loaned you power, had you asked, and did a few times without your knowing when you were really low."
"What?!" asked Nita exclaimed, outraged. Lexi was silently echoing her words, though more in disarray than anger.
Ronan reached over and firmly put his hand on her shoulder, planting her to the couch, so she could not rise in anger. "We only did it because we cared about you. You were going to kill yourself. You've done things that have taken a drastic toll on you. No," he insisted again to quiet Nita. He moved his hand from her shoulder to trace her thin cheekbones. "Don't deny it either. Where'd you get these?" His hand lifted a section of her hair to reveal a few gray strands.
"I...uh... Hair does turn gray, Ronan." Nita answered.
"You're not even twenty-eight, Nita. Stop making excuses." Ronan repeated. "It's time to do something only for you. I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want to do, and if I honestly thought the reason you didn't want to marry me was because you didn't want to, then I'd leave it at that. But, I don't really think that's the reason. And until you can give me a real reason, I'm not going to leave you alone about it. We can drop the subject for now, but I'll bring it back up and keep bringing it back up until you can give me that reason."
"Oh, Ronan. I made a promise, though. I promised her I wouldn't let Him get her. I promised. If He's back...." Nita said, just barely audible to Lexi.
Promised who? My mother? Who were "him" and "he"? My father? Why...
As Ronan brushed the tears that were tricking down her cheek away and softly kissed her, Lexi quietly slipped back to her room.
The conversation she had overheard left her musing over just as much as the conversation with the man that claimed to be her father did. Lexi finally drifted into a restless sleep just as the sun began to peek on the horizon.
~*~
Seven... Seven.. Will anyone give me a seven? Seven! How about ten? Do I have a ten? Ten! Going once... going twice... SOLD! to all the readers for the bargain price of only ten reviews! That's a great deal on a brand-new, never before seen chapter!
(Okay, so Brasenia's seen it. But still, I think you get the point:
ten reviews before update!)