Nametags are required

By Todd Fan

Disclaimer: "All Righty Then".

***

How about some completely random Todd Fan madness, mmmm?. I realised i had neglected the New Recruits, so decided to make a one-chapter random fic for them. You may recognise a few strains of the Friends episode 'TOW Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister'. Oh it took ALOT of work to figure out that damn Guthrie clan..there is rather alot of them....yep...i bet you know where my story's going now, huh? Tee hee.

****

Sam Guthrie watched with a raised eyebrow as the rest of the New Recruits smiled knowingly at him...they couldn't keep something on the Q-T if they TRIED. Most of the other X-Men had left for the day, the only other people besides the New Recruits in the house were Xavier and Logan, who also carried knowing smirks....quite frankly, it was making Sam nervous.

"So Sammy-boy!", said Ray, giving him a friendly punch in the arm, "how's it feel to be a year older?".

"Not that much different from last year", said Sam, then narrowing his eyes, "alright guys, what are ya'll up to?. If a'h find somethin' nasty in ma'h bed tonight...".

He was cut off by the sound of the doorbell.

"I WONDER who that could be", said Amara with an exicted giggle, "why don't you go and see, Sam".

Sam eyed her carefully, before standing up.

"Alright, a'hll bite", he said, "curse ma'h sense of curiosity".

He walked over to the door, watching as everyone kept smiling at him...man, they were getting creepy!. He opened the door and gave a yelp as several kids from various ages piled on him screaming 'Happy Birthday' in unison.

"Air", gasped Sam from underneath the pile of siblings.

"Wow...look at all the Guthrie's", mused Ray.

"I didn't know there would be so many", said Roberto, tilting his head to the side.

Meanwhile, the Guthrie clan had released their older brother, giving Sam enough time to stand up before his mother caught him in a bear-hug.

"Samuel Zachery Guthrie, happy birthday to you!", she said.

"Sam's middle name is Zachery?", said Jamie with a chuckle, only to find one of the Guthrie sisters, a blonde eleven year old, smiling at him.

"Hi, a'hm Peggy!", she said.

"Hi mom", said Sam hugging is mother back before smiling at the others, "man, a'h wasn't expecting you guys to bring ma'h family here!".

"Yeah, well, we couldn't get you Rahne, so we got this lot instead", said Logan with a chuckle, "don't say we don't give ya nothin'".

*****

A few hours later and Sam's birthday party was in full swing. Sam himself had been dragged off by a few of his siblings to show off the mansion.

"I've lost count of the Guthrie's", Bobby admited.

"Letsee", said Ray, pointing at a few teens and kids, "There's a Guthrie, and there's a Guthrie...and i'm pretty sure that one's a Guthrie too".

On the table sat some choclolate cakes which Kitty had made.She had gone overboard on the sugar, making the objects on the table a dentists worst nightmare. Ray looked at them for a second before grinning at Bobby.

"I dare you to eat all of them", he said.

Bobby looked at the cakes, then looked at Ray.

"What's it worth?".

"I'll do all your chores for a month", said Ray.

"And let me have your desert at dinner for three weeks?", tried Bobby.

"Two weeks".

"Done!".

Bobby walked over to the piled tray of sweetness and started to gorge.

****

"Do it AGAIN Mr Logan!".

Logan chuckled as Peggy and Lewis Guthire, two blonde haired twins, which had been pointed out as the youngest at eleven watched him in awe. He smirked.

SNIKT!

"Coooooooooool!", said the twins in unison.

Lucinda Guthrie chuckled at her offsprings antics.

"Thanks for letting us all come, Professor Xavier", she said, "a'h always love it to see ma'h family together".

"It's not problem, Mrs Guthire", said Xavier, "Sam's a fine lad, he deserved it".

"That he is", said Lucinda with a sigh, "if only his pappa were here, he'd be so proud".

Suddenly, Bobby skipped past them. He had done it, he had eaten Kitty's over-sugared snaks...and now was on a VERY big sugar-rush. He gave a thumbs up to the Guthrie with Red hair and glasses..what was his name? Jeb?...yeah, that was it!. Jeb looked at Bobby as if he had just escaped from a mental assylum before shrugging and walking off.

"Wow, this is a GREAT party, isn't it Robbie?!", he asked, throwing an arm around Roberto's shoulder.

"Haven't we already discussed how i don't like being called Robbie?", asked Roberto with a growl.

Bobby ignored his and began messing around with Roberto's mobile phone. He pressed a few buttons, somehow putting it on speaker-phone and accessing all his old messages.

"Hi Roberto", came the voice of a female teen, her accent showing she was from Brazil, "call me".

"Madre De Dios!", said Roberto, backpeadling away from the phone, "Juliana!".

"Who's Juilana?", asked a blonde haired female Guthrie, who Sam had introduced as Paige.

"Dead girlfriend", said Tabby simply, as if that explained everything, before going back to flirting with one of the male Guthrie's...she thought he was called Joshua...but she couldn't be sure.

"She's calling from beyond the grave to seek her revenge!!!", shouted Roberto before screaming and running off to hide in his bedroom.

"You know,....that's probably an old message", said Ray, "Roberto never clears his phone messages".

Bobby suddenly gave a manical laugh before running off again.

"This...is going to be a looong party", said Amara.

****

The next day, Sam had gone to see his family off at the airport with Logan. The New Recruits were gathered around the table when a very ill looking Bobby plodded in. He sat down at the table and blinked.

"Ugh", he said, before promptly banging his head on the table with a thud.

"Got a thick head after eating all that chocolate?", teased Amara, "serves yoouuu riiight!".

Roberto was snoring from where his head rested on the table, according to Jamie, he had been awake all night screaming about 'zombie girlfriends' and slipping out of English regularly.

"What did you DO man?", asked Ray, "we didn't see you after the whole... p- h-o-n-e incident".

"I can spell, Ray", came Roberto's voice before looking at Bobby for an answer.

Bobby narrowed his eyes, trying to remember.

"I put some of Jean's underwear in Kurt's room", he said, "and..then i...i met a Guthrie sister and".

His eyes went wide.

"Uh oh".

"Oh no, Bobby, you didn't!", said Tabby.

"I think i..may have", said Bobby.

"You didn't..well", started Amara.

"No, i just kissed her", said Bobby, running a hand through his hair.

"Hope you have a good gravestone handy", said Ray, leaning back in his chair, "'cause Sam's gonna kill you".

"That's not the worst part", said Bobby, "i...can't remember which Guthrie it was!".

"That's.....really bad", said Tabby, "are you sure?".

"I know it was a sister....that's it!".

"What was the did she look like?", asked Amara suddenly.

"I can't remember!", snapped Bobby, "besides, thay all look alike! All his sisters are tall and they are either blondes or brunettes".

"Well..that's a start", said Tabby, "was she a blonde or brunette?".

"I...can't remember!!!!".

"Well....nice knowing you", said Ray, "send us a postcard from Hell".

"Come on guys, help me out here!", said Bobby.

"Okay, i'll give you a list of their names, then you see if you recognise any of them", tried Amara, "Paige, Joelle, Elizabeth, Sue-Anne, Peggy".

Bobby narrowed his eyes.

"I want to say Elizabeth...but i'm not sure.....".

"Bobby?", said Jamie.

"What?".

"Can i have your stereo?".

"Hey! That's wrong Jamie!", said Ray, before crossing hs arms, "i got dibs on the stereo!".

"Awww, Sam's a nice guy!", said Bobby, "he wouldn't really kill me.....would he?".

"Have you SEEN how protective he is of his family?", asked Roberto, "after his dad died, he took over the head-of-the-house role...he's gonna skin you alive!".

"Not if i avoid him for the rest of my life!", said Bobby, suddenly getting up and running out of the house.

"Who wants his snowboard?", asked Tabby.

******

A few hours later, Bobby returned to the kitchen of the Institute. He'd been wandering Bayville all day, but the fact remained, he had to come home sometime. He had come to the conclusion that there was no way to avoid someone who lived in the same house as you, even if it was a mansion. He would just come clean to Sam, and wait for the worst. Yep, that's what he'd do!

"Ahem".

Bobby screamed and leapt three feet in the air, before turing around to see Sam sitting by the kitchen table, drumming his fingers on the table. He did NOT look happy. To see a scowl on the most friendly person in the house terrifed Bobby to his very core.

"Hi Sam!", he squeaked, "fancy seeing you here...heh heh heh...you know, don't you?".

"A tip fer ya'll Bobby, girls talk", said Sam, "especially about guys they kissed at a party".

"Are you going to kill me?", asked Bobby wincing.

Sam pondered this.

"A'hm gonna let this slide IF ya'll can tell me which of ma'h sisters you kissed", said Sam, leaning back casually and crossing his arms, "ya'll have ten seconds. Tick, tick, tick, tick tick".

'Random Guthrie name, random Guthrie name!', Bobby's mind screamed.

"Err....Joelle?".

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"And what colour is her hair?"

Bobby winced.

"Err...Blondette?".

"Ya'll have no idea who she was, do you?", asked Sam.

"No", replied Bobby honestly, "You're going to hit me...aren't you?".

"A'h'd start runnin' if a'h were you".

******

A few hours later, Bobby found himself scowling at Tabby as she poked his semi-closed up eye.

"Yep, that's gonna be a brusier!", said Tabby, "who knew Sammy boy had it in him?".

"Ow", said Bobby as Amara gave it a poke, "don't poke it!"

"Hey, Bobby, you want some ice for that?", asked Ray, causing the room to errupt into laughter.

"I hate you all", said Bobby.

"Who was it, anyway?", asked Amara.

"Sue-Anne", muttered Bobby.

Suddenly, there was a screaming from upstairs.

"Kurt?!!!!", came Jean's voice, "why do you have my underwear?!!!!!".

Bobby smirked.

"Good to know i'm not the only one that's gonna end up with a black eye", he said smugly as he heard Kurt beg for forgivness for a crime he didn't commit.

*******

There we go, did you find that random insanity enjoyable? I did, yup. Okay, all the Guthrie's but 'Sue-Anne' and 'Peggy' are the true Guthrie names, the other two i named myself, as these were two of the Guthrie clan whom were never named. Juliana was Roberto's girlfriend in the comics, who died a nasty death..yep. Please do review, maybe one day, i'll do more pointless insanity with the New Recruits.