This fic is dedicated entirely to Kimie .. love your fics! but your not updating! (and I have a right to say that now cos I've finally posted this fic. Ha!) oh okay so you updated one of them... update again!
Disclaimer; actually, yes, Saiyuki is mine now you ask, and, yes, I am married to the King of Spain. And, no, Heero Yuy is not a fictional character ...don't know what they mean when they say I'm a compulsive liar.
Warning; I don't think this is anywhere near as funny as it's first part so your really going to have to tell me straight
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Goku pinched his nose to stop the blood. He tried to unbutton his trousers with one hand, it was useless but it didn't matter anyway, the trousers fell apart of their own accord.
Earlier that week there had been a minor incident involving Harkuryuu, bad parking and some Very Inconveniently Placed Thorny Bushes that had left both Goku's and Gojyo's trousers in shreds.
Sanzo, at the time, had not minded in the least ( this information was passed on to us by his libido, Sanzo would never admit to it) until he'd realised that he wasn't the only one watching Goku's scantily clothed legs. Jealousy began to take over and Hakkai was beginning to tire of trying to remove nosebleed induced stains from their clothes. This drove Sanzo to entrust his Shiny Magical Credit Card of Gold to Gojyo ( despite his better reasoning).
A now highly fluffyfied Kappa had proceeded to drag Goku off to the shops, forcing the poor saru into; Kai's Korner of Kinky Kit, Spandex delights ( Heero buys stuff there! ^ ^: ); Hot sex in my leather trousers and the perverse constricting clothes filled shop formally known as Pris, a widely recognised brand name, it was here where Gojyo had asked Goku what he thought of the trousers he was wearing which had landed the golden eyed boy hiding in the dressing room with a nosebleed, Gojyo had then tossed a pair of trousers over telling him to try them on.
"Hentai ero baka kappa" (what a mouthful)
After a 15 minute struggle Goku now, finally, had his legs in bright red leather, far too tight to be legal.
" Baka! You got them on?"
" Ah.. Yeah"
Out of nowhere Gojyo appeared behind the younger boy.
//Wait... I locked the door//
Frozen from shock Goku said nothing as Gojyo ran his hands up the saru's thighs and purred. The ero kappa disappeared before Goku managed to make a strange gurgling noise of protest.
Another pair of trousers landed on the boy's head.
" Try them on!"
" Uhuh"
Of course, Gojyo still loved Hakkai, almost every night in fact, but after spending a week watching Goku's legs he wasn't going to let them pass so easily
// I am the Ero Kappa!// (course you are Gojyo ^ ^)
Yup it was in his rights (not to mention his contract...)
Finally deciding on the fawn coloured ones for himself he went back to picking out Goku's.
//Now the red ones were ok but the black ones looked good too .. I wonder what the white ones look like//
" Oi! Baka! You done?"
" Yeah"
Goku shyly sidled out of the cubical.
// Definitely the white// was the only thought that managed to surface in the red head's mind before his nose seemingly exploded spraying the floor with blood.
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He placed the glass down on the table silently observing the stains and scratches that ran along it. The man across from him sighed and scratched his groin. Grunting slightly the renown landlord look his hand out of his black silk pants.
Looking up from the table stains to the face of his best friend the man smiled.. best friends indeed! they had even discovered Lycra together!.. and now he needed his help.
Ima Lumberjack ( and he's okay) was currently making another attempt at readjusting his women's knickers, he'd been sweating all day, looking after the inn, and that had made the silk slide around a lot and the pants were beginning to emigrate towards his anus
"Of course I'll help, my friend! I understand how you feel"
Daisy wiped away the tears
"With your help my friend, my vengeance shall fall apon them with great fury"
The bigger, heavier man, still with his hands in his pants, nodded.
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Trying his best to not look at the saru's legs Sanzo tried his best to look dignified with a loo roll up each nostril. Goku was self-consciously trying to pull his shirt down to cover himself, Gojyo was drooling and Hakkai was having another sexual fantasy that included Gojyo, leather and a jar of honey ( Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask)
The burly landlord watched as the Sanzo ikkuo packed up and got ready to leave
//Time to start the pogo plan//
The big sweaty man searched through his grubby flannel shirt. He pulled out a small Hello Kitty purse that had beads and sequins sewn to it, placing 4 glasses on the bar, the man The man took a pinch of the bright violet powder and sprinkled it into 3 of the glasses, grinning towards the young men.
"Here! On the house!... as a last farewell"
triumphantly he pushed the drinks towards the young men.
The man grinned at the group, only to find that both Hakkai and Sanzo had gone out to load Harkuryuu... correction, Hakkai went out to load the jeep, Sanzo merely sat and waited ( Hey, I mentioned Harkuryuu! he didn't appear in the last one!)
The kappa and the saru however downed the drinks offered to them and marched out. The jeep started up and they drove off, then the jeep stopped, Hakkai got out, puked and they started off again.
Ima Lumberjack ( and he's still ok) arched his fingers and smiled towards the man sat in the shadows in a corner of the bar room.
"Well it seems only two of them drank it "
"No matter Ima, we'll get the other"
" Can I keep the three once we're done?"
" All of them except the monk, the monk is mine"
And Daisy's eyes misted over at the thought
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Spring was in the air, the flowers were blooming, the light breeze filling the sky and littering the ground with their petals, the soft scent of wild roses covered the area. Bird song accompanied the scene and a loud sound retching broke through the wind. Stopping the jeep once more, Hakkai leant over the side of Harkuryuu and hurled again.
Carefully inclining over Hakkai's shoulder, Goku sympathetically remarked.
" I've seen cars that colour "
" Aye, cars and chickens" Replied Gojyo
Goku turned and nodded at said kappa.
" Blue?"
" Hakkai's puke is blue?!"
" noooo, chickens are"
" URUSAI!!!!"
" yes Sanzo-sama" was replied in unison
Sanzo glanced nervously at Hakkai, who shrugged at the strange occurrence and gracefully resumed his task of throwing up. Once finished, the jeep remained in silence, waiting for an explanation from the green eyed demon for the sudden bout of car-sickness. Hakkai cleared his throat.
" I'm hungry"
Sanzo immediately turned round to the saru, harisen raised, only to find that it couldn't have been the saru at all, Goku was currently busy plaiting daisies in to Gojyo's hair and it couldn't have been Gojyo as said kappa was singing a rather perverse Blink 182 song ( anyone heard the bonus tracks on their Cd ?) which left....
Sanzo turned to Hakkai in terror.
// oh no! not another one !//
Hakkai turned to Sanzo, his cheeks packed with biscuits, crumbs falling and the odd one sticking out of his mouth. He munched, tilted his head and blinked innocently
// Just like a frigin' hamster// ( oh come on! just imagine the scene ... a Hakkai hamster! ^ ^)
It was then, as Goku and Gojyo started the first verse of Nobby All, that Sanzo's self-preservation instinct kicked in.
// what do I do now!?//
// Simple.. we sleep//
//huh?//
//shhhhh,Rock aby baby on the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock..//
"ZZZZ"
Aww! a sleeping Sanzo.. escaping from reality, ...you think I'm going to let you Sanzo?... Oooh no.
Then Sanzo's SP instinct, with an evil grin, finished the lullaby.
//And when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby, cradle and all//
" AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! " (What kind of a lullaby is that!? What kind of sadistic parents sing that to their kids!?)
Sanzo, thoroughly agitated from a nightmare involving falling babies and blue sick, grumpily listened to the last verses of The Frog Song, courtesy of Goku and Gojyo
" Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom"
" Shaiiya"
"Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom"
"Shaiiya"
"Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom"
"Shaiiya"
The end of said song was accompanied by clapping from Hakkai
" I love Paul Mc cartney"
And high pitched giggling. This sent shivers up Sanzo's spine.
//Paul Mc cartney, eeeeeeeee//
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okay!! first chapter!!! ^_________^ I need a review trip, now!! and to all those authors out there; keep up the good work!!
One final message; NO TO THE WAR IN IRAQ!!! DON'T LET THE GOVERNMENT TRICK YOU WITH THEIR LIES!! THE SPANISH AND ENGLISH PUBLIC ARE BEING FORCED INTO THIS!! 98% OF THE SPANISH POPULATION IS AGAINST IT!! DON'T LET THE IRAQIS BE MASSACRED IN YOUR NAME!!!
" And I heard a voice in the midst of the four living creatures saying "a quart of wheat for a denarius and three quarts of barley for a denarius but do not touch the oil and the wine", this was famine" book of Revelations
Gallons of French wine was poured away, "Do not burn your oil" said Bush. Sound familiar?